hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#98061 [ + | - ] 321
Lawyer-Acidbuk has 11 fingers
<Lawyer-Acidbuk> 10 on my hand and one....*shuts up*
<LatinoReheat> up your ass?
#98060 [ + | - ] -172
* yugi--moto[A] is now known as yugi--moto
<Candy> jsfd;'fd
<yugi--moto> hgfnkhgf
<Candy> klfsd;aiou;sda
<yugi--moto> gjfnhmgfhgf;hxfg
<Candy> klsdfj;asljfiosausfd
<yugi--moto> jknbjk
<Candy> lkjsafjl;dsajfsadfoiusafp
<yugi--moto> fm,gnhdkln ,dfznl,df hf
<Candy> asldkjfl;kdsa
<yugi--moto> jfgbhdfjbf
<Candy> Be Right Back
<yugi--moto> ok
<yugi--moto> =
#98059 [ + | - ] 215
<Innocent_ASK> Spike from Buffy is my ideal man!
<BishiGartt> he's the male version of Cher
<BishiLatino> only with less penis and more makeup
#98056 [ + | - ] 794
<ironfrost> life sucks
<Majji-woo-woo> so do whores
<Latino|NotIn> but life sucks for free
#98054 [ + | - ] 199
<Latino_Reheat> where would us anime fans be without
masturbation? probably married by now.......
#98050 [ + | - ] 315
<MEGA-Shrike> lat you off my xmas card list
<MEGA-Shrike> you now on another list
<LatinoReheat> list of "Who to make love to before im 30"?
<MEGA-Shrike> THE LIST OF ALMIGHTY PUNISHMENT, PAIN, DEATH AND
GENERAL NASTINESS
<LatinoReheat> so shrike, the "Who to make love to before im
30"? then
#98048 [ + | - ] 353
<Pinkie2> some guy pissed me off today so i sat on my scanner
to send him picture of my ass and the glass broke i just got
back from getting 15 stictches
<Louey> pinkie you serious?
<Pinkie2> yup
<Dk__> lol
<Louey> and what was your excuse at the hospital?
<Dk__> you had a really bad day
<Pinkie2> sittin on one cheek right now
<Pinkie2> i told em i sat on a drinkin glass my kid put on
chir
<Louey> ahhh
<Dk__> we'll probably be seeing flatbeds with weight
restrictions now on
<Dk__> or warning labels, do not sit on glass
<Pinkie2> hehe
<Pinkie2> im gonna sue
<Louey> and now your out a scanner and no retribution for the
fuck who made you sit on your scanner
<Pinkie2> next time i will just shit on the scanner and send
that to him
<Dk__> ROFL
<Dk__> good idea
<Louey> haha
<|Korombos> Pinkie2 Sometimes man, it is best to remain quiet
and thought a fool, than to do what you did, open your mouth
and remove all doubt!
<Dk__> heh
<Louey> kor=confuscious
<Dk__> a inspirational quote from kor
#98046 [ + | - ] 477
<ROM_Man>  can anyone point me to a resource on how to deal
with shadow passwords in perl?
<ROM_Man>  anyone alive?
<\mjd>  <rattle> Who dares to disturb my eternal rest?
<\mjd>  <clank>    <clank>                     <clank>
#98045 [ + | - ] 729
<Mutiny> I'm having this teeny problem and I want to know if
somebody can help me with it..
<mjd> mutiny: Sever the main neck tendons before cutting
through the spinal cord.  That will allow you more opportunity
to separate the vertebrae prior to removing the head.
#98043 [ + | - ] 193
<Murr> DrForr, presumably the tank crew *knew* how to swim,
but not how to escape from a tank with open hatch that had
turned on its roof before sinking.
<DrForr> The tank flipped over -then- sank? Now that's rich.
<arkuat> what is this about?  cisco is building tanks now?
<Winkola> arkuat: If they do, you can count on a lot of
drowned newbie net admins.
<Winkola> "To report a drowning emergency, press 1, and hold
for 27 minutes."
#98042 [ + | - ] 385
* [petey suspects I-Que of not being 1337!
<I-Que> I'm only 22!
<I-Que> not 1337
#98040 [ + | - ] 402
<q[merlyn]> lem... know any good austin Perl hackers for hire?
<q[merlyn]> I'm on a hunt for one for a friend.
<archon> for a job?
<Stupid_> No, in his spare time merlyn bow-hunts for perl
programmers by their scent.
#98039 [ + | - ] 176
<Tkil> chaos_ -- oh... and if you're a beginner... don't worry
overmuch about efficiency.
<billn> if I wanted efficency, I'd put bigger tires on my
truck, so I could get the whole cat in one pass.
#98037 [ + | - ] 139
*** sonic_1 (rick@highlife.net) has joined channel #perl
<sonic_1> can someone tell me whats wrong with this script?
<sonic_1> #!/usr/bin/perl
<sonic_1> for $x in 'ls --width=1';
<sonic_1> do 'mv $x ~$x/Mailbox;chown $x.mail ~$x/Mailbox';
<sonic_1> fi
#98024 [ + | - ] 159
-|- mode/#pwot [+u Snoof] by ChanServ
<Umaro> * ChanServ sets mode: +fu Snoof
<Snoof> :'(
<Umaro> sorry =/
<Snoof> that's the most action i've seen all week
#98020 [ + | - ] 818
<Blum> I was with a girl once and she pointed and laughed. She
said "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with THAT?"
<Blum> I said "Me"
#98017 [ + | - ] 270
<+HackerDragon>: uhmmm yeah I had some lube and "other
objects" wrapped up in a towel under my bed.  My mom decided
that she was going to be nice and do my laundry for me today
cause she is home sick.  Yeah I just looked under my bed and
the lube with objects is there but no towel...
#98016 [ + | - ] 49
<kszer0> OMG what is the teddy bear doing to that little boy
'O
#98015 [ + | - ] 364
<`Riku> nighty night, don't let the bed bugs bite your head
clean off and shit into your neck.
#98014 [ + | - ] 638
<Gil_AFK> i hate stuff that works for ages without probs and
suddenly dies without a single error message or anything.
<ElctroJkr> like senior citizens
#98010 [ + | - ] 20
[+JM_LOL8] Good thing I have LOTS of HD
[@Tabitha] My penis is bigger than your HD.
[@Tabitha] We should all merge our penises into one big,
superpenis.
#98002 [ + | - ] 27
<Ryan> Wind Waker sucks.
<Ryan> Seriously.
<Aduin> RYAN
<Aduin> DIE!
<Ryan> Aduin.
<Jesper> Ryan: You suck. Literally. Aduin told me all about
it.
<+Legion> Ryan, you are incorrect.
<Ryan> Nevermind..
<+Legion> WW rules ass.
<Ryan> No, i'm not
<+Legion> Tell me why it sucks.
<Aduin> GO LEG!
<+Legion> And if you say graphics, you die.
<Jesper> I think the graphics look better.
<+Legion> Jesper, me too. :)
<Ryan> No, everything about the game sucks, not just the
graphics
* Quits: Ryan (Ryan@cloak-2236C47B.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed
(Jesper (YOU SAID GRAPHICS)))
#98001 [ + | - ] 250
<[CMF]O-Face|wurk> uhm, I never thought that "I am BREADMAN!
With the POWER TO EAT A SLICE OF BREAD IN 1.9 SECONDS!!!  -
would be a valued superhero power.
<Commando^> Superheros have gone downhill recently
#97997 [ + | - ] 153
<timovgod> Man, when I saw they said they were going to add
color to the $20 bill I thought the meant they were replacing
Jackson with Al Sharton
#97996 [ + | - ] 315
<Icedude> you know what pisses me off? when morpheus was
jumping for the helicopter in the matrix, agent smith uses a
wallhack! THIS IS NOT CS, ITS THE MATRIX! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT
AGENT!
#97989 [ + | - ] 410
<Scoteh> Im depressed
<wizzer> why?
<Scoteh> I realised I have more money in an mmorpg than in
real life....
<wizzer> Ah......
#97987 [ + | - ] 22
<rB> best part of waking up is vagina on your cock
#97983 [ + | - ] 138
<Japhro> cams: think you can try and mention e3 a few more
times, I don't think I ignored you enough the first few times.
#97981 [ + | - ] 607
<Dave2> Had my french oral exam today
<Dave2> It sucked
#97980 [ + | - ] 343
<Knives-> MY MODEM KEEPS DESYNCING.
* Knives- kicks the modem
<Knives-> I'll call the ISP
<Knives-> They'll tell me "It must be something you've
installed"
<Knives-> And I'll go "INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT DESYNCS A
MODEM IS LIKE INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT BLOWS UP A PS/2 MOUSE!
"
<Knives-> And then they'll blame the phone company.
<Knives-> And I'll say FUCK IT.
<Knives-> And wait until it fixes itself.
<Knives-> There - saved my self the bother and money of
calling those pricks.
#97977 [ + | - ] 810
<manero> so our friend, she's in the part of med school where
you do all the genital exams and shit
<manero> and prostrate exams, etc
<manero> and a couple weeks ago, they had to do it on a real
person for the first time. and so she was very nervous
<manero> so she's doing the exam, she does the front and
everything is ok
<manero> and she does the back door and she gets through it
all
<manero> but at the very end, as she finishes
<manero> she didn't know how to tell the dude she was done, so
she slapped him on the ass
<manero> i had tears running down my face for 10 minutes after
she told the story
<blach> alright bitch, im done with your bunghole *smack
<manero> the funny part was the dude was like 60, too
#97963 [ + | - ] 169
<Gothic> I sound Lovecraftian backwards
<Gothic> Cithog, the black cloud of despair, hatred, and
donuts
#97955 [ + | - ] 368
<Zer0_-X-> animeology - the study of japanese animation
<ecat> u must study it quite well
<Zer0_-X-> yah
<Zer0_-X-> i've got phd :D
<Goddess> permanent head damage?
#97942 [ + | - ] 272
<Dabz> u know i'm currently being paid to sit home reading
bash
<FuzzBuzz`> lol
<Dabz> sick pay rules
<Dabz> mind u, i would usually be being paid to sit in work
and read bash :/
#97939 [ + | - ] 97
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> I am soon to be my own corporation!!!
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> now to start the shady deals and insider
trading
<BigSax[UN1]|aboot> send some stock tips my way
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> im the only stock owner... guess i shouldnt
try to cheat myself
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> ill be a type-s corporation
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> tried for the faster type-r for the extra
horsepower
#97934 [ + | - ] 130
<Nush> im not racist, i had black friends, but my dad sold
them all
#97931 [ + | - ] 119
<RugNug> naw......just reboot
<crak_pipe> that works
<RugNug> and fantasize about keeping the inventer of popups in
my basement for a coupla years
<crak_pipe> hell yah
<crak_pipe> lemme beat on him for a bit as well
<RugNug> heheheh......i could make millions......with a cover
charge
#97927 [ + | - ] 132
<Gav> Freshly reinstalled computers are a bit like a pair of
new shoes - you're happy that you've finally got a new pair,
but they're awkward to use for a little while :-)
#97923 [ + | - ] 543
<ChangWufei> it was well funny when we all went in a gay bar,
they all just stared at us
<ChangWufei> hehe
<loveya> u went in a gay bar???
<ChangWufei> yeah, we didnt realise at first
<astrotrain> what... that you were gay?
#97911 [ + | - ] 216
:::: Now in #bearcave
* martraci slowly leaves; back against the wall
#97901 [ + | - ] 178
<deepspring> well.. my car just passed it's blueslip
inspection and I mean just...
<deepspring> the mechanic said that he found plenty of "minor"
issues that I would have to fix... luckily he let them slide
<deepspring> minor oil leak from the automatic transmission
<deepspring> bad hatch alignment
<deepspring> one of my driving lights (little halogen addon
ones) was buggered
<LrdShaper> bad driver behind wheel
<deepspring> my ignition key can drop out of the ignition
while the engine is running
<LrdShaper> right front wheel held on by masking tape
<LrdShaper> but the cathodes and led fans are what made
himover look the problems
#97834 [ + | - ] 290
<N1Hawk> hydro` is trying to find a good copy on kazza
<hydro`> yea
<hydro`> thats like finding a hooker who hasnt been fucked
#97442 [ + | - ] 707
<A|LOCO> !setinfo #women this is my setinfo, bow down
-ChanServ- You lack access to #women.
<A|LOCO> =(
#97072 [ + | - ] 242
< MrZippy> BBC: "The brains of thousands of mentally ill
people were illegally removed for research, a report is
expected to reveal."
< MrZippy> Big surprise.
< Leimy> research like what?
< MrZippy> I dunno. Prolly to figure out why crazy people
don't go stealing other people's brains?
#96996 [ + | - ] 91
<Toolbox> Mon (11:55 PM) : do you want to come over?
<Toolbox> =-/
<Toolbox> video games > sex with fat chick?
#96486 [ + | - ] 610
<MistaED> i've got a great backup idea, get what you want
important backed up like work docs and stuff, then zip it all
up, encrypt it, then rename it to a porn name .avi and put it
into kazaa!
#96448 [ + | - ] 578
(aero-neko) but today in the library, i left "http://
goatse.cx" on the clipboard
(aero-neko) the next period a kid got suspended for fetish
porn or something
#96442 [ + | - ] 195
<Lemming> one thing i dislike about broad band
<Lemming> porn popups load before you can close them, lol
#96430 [ + | - ] 191
Brendan Reen: "call for a good time ;-) 0100 0010 0101 0101
0011 0010 0011"
#96371 [ + | - ] 298
Keerax: i was talking in l33t to my old english teacher
Keerax: she said "i can't believe i passed you"