<p_digga> oh god i'm dumb when i'm stoned <j3r3miah> why <p_digga> i lost something on my desk, and i couldn't find it, so i moved my ssh window on my computer desktop to see if it was under it <j3r3miah> oh god
<hawkman> my friend had a huge bloody nose in 11th grade, and he just shoved toilet paper up his nose until it stopped. then my friend grabbed a coat hanger out of his car (i'm not really sure why he had one), then we went into the girls bathroom and spread blood _ALL_ over one of the stalls, left the coat hanger there, and put up a sign that said "please dont flush my baby"
<revmoo> download the cky movies, they are a lot better <ImpLin> where i get those? <revmoo> kazza mart <ImpLin> wheres that? <Geoff-> at the corner of kazzalite and google <ImpLin> what town? <Geoff-> takingthistoofar, USA
<Logic_BomB> could you create an infinite loop with a jew if you put a quarter on one side of the room and a quarter on the other side of the room and told him he could only choose 1?
<Stolurn> i was walkin home last night and i could suddenly smell KFC, and i was like mmmm, where's that comin' from? <Stolurn> i look around and this black guy rides past, then the smell goes away <Stolurn> bash.org was right :)
<burn_prom_girl> our frigde is outside because we got our kitchen tiled <burn_prom_girl> and its in a puddle of water <burn_prom_girl> thats bad right ? <burn_prom_girl> and i shouldnt step in the water around the frigde ? <burn_prom_girl> its plugged in <ikari> water doesnt conduct electricity <ikari> it's an urban myth <ikari> go dance in the puddle
<Qube> wowzz: try putting each servers ip and name in /etc/ hosts <wowzz> where is /etc/hosts
<bhlaab> One time in high school I was talking to a girl who was SUPER NAZI feminist, and she was going on and on about the double standards against women in society, and how men have no double standards against them. <bhlaab> That's when I brought up the fact that lesbians are looked upon as "fine", wheras gay men are always getting the complete <censored> beat out of them for no reason. She got pissed off at this comment, and snapped at me "What, are you a fag too or something?!" <bhlaab> Go equal rights!!
<spikeo > a part of me wishes everyone could have seen that <spikeo > and another part of me doesnt <spikeo > ok i have really itchy pubic wig atm (not lice, before you ask) <spikeo > so i tried my clippers on it <Gecko`> that part being your ELBOW <spikeo > didn't realise they don't *do* long hairs <spikeo > and my fucking shaver got tangled to my crotch <spikeo > and was trying to kill me <Emmeh> rofl <Rel^Slacking> lol <spikeo > i was like bicentennial man <spikeo > or kryten trailing his groinal attachments <spikeo > i can laugh now <spikeo > but <spikeo > NO BABIES FOR ME <spikeo > :'( <Rel^Slacking> Thats prolly a good thing
<BorD> What If Saddam Hussein survived the bombing last week, but lost a leg... How pissed-off do you think his doubles are?
<s4xton> "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"
<Cotton Mouth> How do you describe the color blue to someone who is blind and has never seen a color before? <NickBlasta> 0 0 255
<Leon> lol @ The Register <Leon> Schools use SMS to fight truancy <Leon> Oi u ltl sh*t, get bk 2 skool now
<Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded man to death. <Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games <Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill retards (/sarcasm) <Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.
Brandon2W: i had a dream that i was talking to someone, but she had a little AIM window next to her head, and i just read what she said there and typed back to her what i would have said Brandon2W: i need therapy
<ocelot> I've lost my only spoon <ocelot> how do you lose ANYTHING in a 11,4 square feet room???!?! <Adam_H> ocelot: there is no spoon
<chodapp> Girls don't have penises, xooz98 <xooz98> chodapp - i thought that too UNTIL I GOT KAZAA
<Bugaboo> So I was in the halls today, some jerk yells "I wanna fuck your dad" <Bugaboo> I shout back "hes dead" <Bugaboo> moment of ackward silence, as they think of what to do <Bugaboo> It made up for all the grief I had at killing the old guy.
<qp_zulrich-EE> both hitler and bush got the power... only one had a brain D: <samurai> bush has a brain <samurai> its just really really small <V|JFreak> dude <V|JFreak> he WAVED at stevie wonder.....
«TheCulter» guys: two people, /nick and /quit are on a boat. / nick falls off the boat. who's left on the boat? (@Makenshi`) /quit (@Makenshi`) duh
<Uday_Williams> Know what'd be messed up? If one of Saddam's doubles turned good, and then was appointed to run the country. Bet that'd confuse alot of people.
<cali310> I heard the most ridiculous comment ever made by a newscaster last night on fox........ <cali310> He said, "the Iraqis have hundreds of seasoned suicide bombers" <cali310> How in the fuck does one become a seasoned suicide bomber?
<Resident_Redneck> The Canadians commited three warships, 1000 soldiers, and 10 tanks to the war effort...but due to the exchange rate, it works out to be a mountie, a moose, and a flying sqirrel.
<n3wt> FFS, I am not reading anything with 'The Naughty Goat' in the title <n3wt> Not unless it has pictures, anyway
<CodeMason> I never sleep. <CodeMason> I just lapse into alcohol-induced catatonia on a regular basis.
<Snow> If Grand Theft Auto isn't mankind's greatest invention, I don't know what is. <Snow> I just flew around the city in an Apache attack helicopter firing missiles and random cars. And when I got bored of that, I stole some guys motorcycle, rode 120mph across town to a nightclub, where I picked up $10,000, walked inside, and fired a minigun into the crowd, liquifying everyone inside. <Snow> And then I picked up a new suit and went home and called it a day. <dano> i love how accurate its portrayal of the 1980s night-life is
<Afbc0m> my 3 yr old bro is here <Afbc0m> he was listening to eminem and started swearing <Afbc0m> my mom was pissed <Afbc0m> in the middle of dinner, he was like, "bitch please, get down on yo knees"
<timmo> tim would rather fuck a woman who doesnt know what the hell irc is <c-rOCK> fuck that <c-rOCK> i want a hottie who can irc it up. <c-rOCK> and i wanna be like <c-rOCK> yeah im a mod on bash.org <c-rOCK> hop on my dick now slut.
<Enchi|ada> Martin Luther King is a holiday because it is symbolic of the propensity of black people's laziness and unwillingness to work.
<ksennin> "Do the girls have to shave their asses?" <ksennin> [x] Yes <ksennin> [ ] Yes <FT> ksennin: Your definition of 'great' tends to be weird. <TripleRach> Shave, what <FT> Try "Shake" <ksennin> Oh shit. <ksennin> Yes, "Shake"
<Dirtbiker> howd all of u learn how to do this crap? <@nomis> hit f1 <@nomis> frequently <Dirtbiker> in here? <@nomis> in flash <Dirtbiker> but thats the shortcut to help
<NuclearisWinterius> "Without the USA there would be no France, just a greater Germany" and the guest on the show said "Without France, there would be no USA, just a greater England" <Method> hurray for france! <Method> without england, there'd be no USA, just a really big canada where they all spoke french. <Method> i don't know what's worse <ari> Without Finland, there would be no IRC and this pointless discussion would not be taking place :p
<pengo> i dont really care if i'm not normal.. so long as i'm abnormal within the normal range of abnormality.
<[TMBJ]Harrison> I love bash.org. All I have to do to be funny is copy/paste. :)
<SJr|Tecra> I'd shit my pants if my girlfriend said she was pregnant. <robb> i'd shit my pants if you had a girlfriend
* freebs is playing [ Fiddler On The Roof - If I Were A Rich Man ] ¤ M[X]S <aNuBiS-> lol <freebs> i'm very eclectic <freebs> well if it's spelt right <aNuBiS-> that fancy speak for, gay?
<LinkDJ> At prom, me and Julea were dancing, and a song came on that I recognised. We're dancing, and halfway through I get a big smile on my face. <LinkDJ> It turns out it was a song from DDR. <LinkDJ> I think i've told that much here before <LinkDJ> What I didn't mention: I started doing finger combinations on her ass.
<fade> i need to find the stupid adapter now <Queued> If I had a stupid adapter, I could understand the other half of the channel <Petter[web]> I resent that. <Queued> I understand.
Soca: God damn fucking neighbors and their dog need to die Soca: I just tore up my front lawn with my truck trying to piss them off. I hope it worked. drnick: you tore up your own lawn trying to piss of the neighbours drnick: hmm wheres the logic in that Soca: Well, I made a lot of noise in the process Deltan: Yea the joke's really on them with that one
<Arrgh> great.. now he's trying to vomit in my shoe * [TMBJ]Rhadamanthus happydances <Arrgh> he called it a "vomit capture device" <[TMBJ]Rhadamanthus> Throw something at him <Arrgh> like what? my shoe?! <Arrgh> HE ALREADY HAS IT
* inkedmn is BORED < jbm> inkedmn: drink beers. fuck wife. < inkedmn> jbm: no beer/money, wife's at work < jbm> uh. got any pets?
<CommanderStab> Man, all of these supposed "free PHP hosting" sites and not one of them is any good >_< <CommanderStab> WTF? <Riku> o.o <CommanderStab> Hungarian?! <CommanderStab> These guys actually have INTERNET?! <CommanderStab> Man, I can't read this shit >_< <CommanderStab> I have the greatest idea for a site <CommanderStab> Say that we ofer 1000mb of fre PHP hosting <CommanderStab> Then when they submit their information we keep their password and username and don't give them a site <CommanderStab> Then we build a massive database of usernames and poasswords <CommanderStab> Then we create a program to goes to every site on the itnernet that requires a password and get it to try all of the user/passes we have on every site <CommanderStab> Then we blackmail the people because no doubt some of the sites are like sick porn sites and we'll have their email addresses <CommanderStab> And we use the money that we get out of the blackmail to actually BUY some decent hosting <CommanderStab> So I don't have to keep looking through all this shit
<CrossAlkaid> I'm going to make myself a son out of all the Kleenex I have in a pile by now. <CrossAlkaid> Then I'll kill him, because the law makes no provisions for people made of Kleenex.
<Dr SpaZZo> A Reese's Peanut Butter Puff going directly down your throat is a LOT more painful than one might imagine. TwilightKnight jots that down <TwilightKnight> thanks <Dr SpaZZo> No problem.