hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 11 in Moderation Queue
#71953 [ + | - ] 1037
<@Mike> OMG
<@Mike> I just got a security alert
<@Mike> MY COMPUTER IS BROADCASTING AN IP ADDRESS!!!!!!!
<@Mike> OMFG
<@Mike> what do I do?????????
* @Mike clicks the helpful lil message
<@Mike> oooh look. A purple monkey wants to sell me a firewall
#71946 [ + | - ] 190
<z8ball> ive been sitting here for 30 mins trying to get ppp
going in fbsd
<z8ball> just realised i only have 1 phone line
<z8ball> and im using it
#71944 [ + | - ] 553
<+|neo|> FUCK!!!!!!!!!
<+|neo|> fucking donut
<+|neo|> this is gay
<+|neo|> i bit my lip while eating this donut
<+|neo|> hurt like a bitch
<+|neo|> bout 5 secs later i bit it in the same place again
<+|neo|> then it started bleeding
<@Decco> lol
<+|neo|> then about 20 secs ago i bit the same part again
<sic6sic> neo....dont move
<sic6sic> just....dont move
#71922 [ + | - ] 166
<fallenMeSsIAH> damn cops, they piss me off, SHE Wanted to
have sex infront of the police station not me, i am an
unwilling participant, charge her for rape if it will get me
out of a indecent exposure charge
<BenZor> fallenMeSsIAH: you got laid... consider it a miracle
#71913 [ + | - ] 91
<Assid> ack
<Assid> something not right here
<Assid>  1:58am  up 1 day, 19:16,  2 users,  load average:
149.20, 123.73, 57.51
#71904 [ + | - ] 287
<un0> i want them to commit seppuku when they lose on iron
chef
#71897 [ + | - ] 319
* iMac therefore iSuck *
#71896 [ + | - ] 337
<SirLudicrus> What are those hats that have beer can mounts on
each side called?
<Kurin> Stupid
#71893 [ + | - ] 405
<chuffy> this is fucked
<chuffy> i left my blinds open
<chuffy> and i woke up
<chuffy> and im sunburnt
#71892 [ + | - ] 175
<kuribo> i guess if i spent less time deathmatching i'd have a
woman
<kuribo> but deathmatching is free
<kuribo> fragging > sex
<WildPegasus> Fragging is kind of like sex. If you do them
right, goo goes everywhere.
<kuribo> pretty much, peg... and just like sex, after you're
done fragging, you can just leave the server if you want, or
stick around for another round
#71890 [ + | - ] 396
<Trax> Raider are you on LSD?
<Raider> ehh, no Im on DSL
#71888 [ + | - ] 216
* Apollo- pokes IceKarma
* IceKarma pokes Apollo- back
* Apollo- i spoked
<Apollo-> s/i/is/
<Apollo-> s/spoked/poked/
<Apollo-> s/Apollo- i spoked/Apollo is drunk/
#71885 [ + | - ] 257
<Dramon_Killer> i watch gay porn
<Dramon_Killer> err
<Dramon_Killer> i meant to say im secure in my sexuality
<Dramon_Killer> like, secure enough to watch it, masturbate
and still like chicks
#71857 [ + | - ] 32
<@trizzo:#nanog> if you cant knock the bottom out, knock the
fuck out of the sides
#71853 [ + | - ] 288
<ZiR0> damn
<ZiR0> whenever i clean my glasses, my monitor becomes dirty
as hell
#71847 [ + | - ] 210
<Cold_n_Alone> oh yea.. remember that one pretty girl i said i
was talking to in emails and staring at in class?  i asked her
about masterbation habits and.. she isnt talking to me
anymore  :/
#71820 [ + | - ] 452
(m-femme): my ass is too big for hotpants haha
(m-femme): its my muscle...i have too much ass muscle..
(m-femme): haha
(doggie^): lol
([olly]): stop using it to talk then
#71819 [ + | - ] 164
<_Obi-Wan_> so what should we discuss?
<Liquid> ....hmm....Ebonics!
<_Obi-Wan_> ebonics?
<Andy_Hock> The disease?
#71815 [ + | - ] 160
<kichigai> *:-}8 8-   transvestite
#71797 [ + | - ] 199
<Tarkaan> Gerbil, I've spent the past three months and about
$10,000 preparing for this fucking war
<Tarkaan> although the majority of that was buying property in
Canada
<Tarkaan> But I also got a camp stove
#71791 [ + | - ] 275
(Craig): watching something on suicide bombers on discovery
(doggie^): lol
(doggie^): wonder how they managed that
(doggie^): not many people to interview or anything
#71773 [ + | - ] 228
<tsb^blah|fx> beer will get you laid everytime
<tsb^blah|fx> maybe not with an attractive woman
<tsb^blah|fx> or maybe not even a woman at all
<tsb^blah|fx> but you won't know the difference
#71701 [ + | - ] 482
(cutey) what you upto, cmang
(cmang) cutey: Nothing much. :) Just squeaking.
(cmang) And waiting for an email response from my employeer
(cmang) to find out if I get to go to work today. Hmm.
(cutey) :]
(cmang) cutey: Nothing too interesting, really. How about
yourself? ;)
(cutey) :>
(kyr) you DO realize you speak to a bot, right?
(cmang) :(
(cmang) I'm going to cry salt mines now.
#71694 [ + | - ] 506
<Rjx> "Funeral" is an anagram for "Real Fun"
<Rjx> Go Figure.
#71672 [ + | - ] 131
<@madCoder> now its time for me to go raid my roommates food
<@madCoder> :D
<@iota> lol
<@ploppity`away> lol mad
* @iota has a huge chest freezer with some goodies
<@iota> come raid it
<@ploppity`away> iota: pm
<@madCoder> :O
<@iota> i just got a bunch of buy one get one free ice cream
too
<@JaZz0r> eyes are blurry
<@JaZz0r> [Sat:3:41:13a] * iota has a huge chest
<@ploppity`away> woah
<@JaZz0r> did you say anything after that?
<@madCoder> lmao
<@iota> FREEZER
<@JaZz0r> "with some goodies"?
#71657 [ + | - ] 267
Sway21: dude frondz how do you type so fast
Frondz: It's not something I'm proud of.
Sway21: why's that
Frondz: It's detrimental to masturbation.
Sway21: .. guess i should stop asking so many questions
#71641 [ + | - ] 138
<DJDevil-San> i currently have no CDBurner/copier/etc....and
is it possible to download the drivers and stuff and my CD
drive becomes one?
#71626 [ + | - ] 307
<jas0n> man im a geek
<jas0n> im trying to find the RGB value of my hair
#71590 [ + | - ] 144
<Nikita> we got like a foot of snow today
<Nikita> it sucked
--> stef (vix@staff.root.gg) has joined #lameindustries
--- LameServ gives channel half-operator status to stef
<Nikita> i shoveled the driveway and the stairs
<Iced_Eyes> hehe
<Iced_Eyes> i only got about 4 and 1/2 inches
<stef> argh! stupid dialup
<Rav3n> i remeber the good old days
<Rav3n> when i used to say that
<Rav3n> heh
<Nikita> stupid dialupt or only 4.5 inches?
#71577 [ + | - ] 126
<Skate> I believe in god as much as I believe in a world
without porn...
#71573 [ + | - ] 446
<saxxonpike> in the restroom in a walmart once, i shouted
really loudly "DAMN THIS WATERS COLD" and i heard a plop in
the next stall and he said "yeah, it's cold over here too"
#71561 [ + | - ] 220
[hardlined] someone give me a phone number
(timmo) 867-5309
[hardlined] area code?
(timmo) 801
[hardlined] whats the name "we" should as for
(timmo) jenny
[hardlined] ;-)
[hardlined] the subscriber u have dialed is not in service
#71486 [ + | - ] 192
<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and call it a day
<Shanks> :(
<@Guyver3> sorry
<@Guyver3> i meant
<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and methadone and
demerol and smoke pot, and call it a day since im so hardcore
#71442 [ + | - ] 2225
<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst
necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3
strengh"
#71441 [ + | - ] 99
<Hiroe> I want to create a new doll toy for kids
<Hiroe> called "Jersey Baby"
<Hiroe> Idea being, it screams endlessly, until you wrap it in
plastic to silence it and throw it away
#71440 [ + | - ] 165
(@CadWork) for a long time listening to snoop dogg when I was
young I was like, wtf is that
(@CadWork) now when I hear them say words I don't know the
meaning off, I just assume it's drugs
#71437 [ + | - ] 137
<jcarle> We don't have SATs in canada.
<jcarle> All our words stop at 6 letters.
#71436 [ + | - ] 208
<1stStrike> is everything in britian closed on a saturday or
something?
<Jericho24.> at 6pm, yes
<1stStrike> well it's only 1 pm
<Jericho24.> as u just said urself... B R I T A I N
<1stStrike> oh wait
#71435 [ + | - ] 247
<Slyder> I think i found what i am going to buy
<Slyder> http://www.futureshop.ca/catalog/proddetail.asp?sku_id=
0665000FS10006972&
catid=10220&logon=&langid=EN&dept=1&WLBS=fsweb6&MSCSProfile=
04F5E73718534B93F3C511
B6289DBD5550C54405B2BE30A52CB53ABFF8716E7FE52D9C5C57B21A5894C6A6E05467561C22530DBF

981DF35CB5F364A5C835B6B7135EA94E78B9705B401CC5D977D837F3C134AC33E90B98115492CDA152

3C33E076FB2030322CB217386F89CB622647687BDD9F8FE7C5E5FF
<Slyder> thoughts?
<Hadaken> Get a shorter URL
#71434 [ + | - ] 578
*** anonimis has joined #kdl
<anonimis> join #5fm
<orbit> erm...
<orbit> what?
*** anonimis was kicked by orbit (dont advertise in here)
<Quench> lol
<Quench> he missed the /
<Quench> you moron
#71433 [ + | - ] 416
<hans> Impersonating another individual on the Internet is not
only against our rules but it is also against the law. It
constitutes and falls under Identity Theft and/or Fraud.
Furthermore there are other laws specifically regarding
impersonation on the Internet that also apply to it.
<hans> 0_o
*** hans is now known as Tiger_Woods
<Tiger_Woods> someone want to play golf?
#71406 [ + | - ] 214
Dutchman: I admit ignorance, I have no idea what a Dirty
Sanchez is but thats the name of my fantasy football league
#71385 [ + | - ] 370
+|+ [PIT]Kabar has joined #linux
< [PIT]Kabar> ok i got a dumb question
< [PIT]Kabar> <-- linux newb
(+soroh6) well
(+soroh6) we don't allow dumb questions
(+soroh6) sorry.
< [PIT]Kabar> bah usless
< [PIT]Kabar> some great community
+|+ [PIT]Kabar has left #linux []
(+soroh6) HAHAHA
(+soroh6) omg
#71349 [ + | - ] 361
<@Dave> a hooker that doesn't charge upfront is known as "a
girlfriend"
#71269 [ + | - ] 283
<@red_solar> ircN[moo]/boxstats: [uptime: 2w 23h 36m 42s
record: 2w 23h 38m 43s]
<@shawn> 12:41AM  up 33 days,  5:21, 1 user, load averages:
0.01, 0.00, 0.00
<@red_solar> Uptime for redsolar-unix.mchsi.com (OpenBSD 3.2):
5:38PM up 26 days, 22:55, 0 users, load averages: 1.07, 1.09,
1.08
<@SQFreak> uptime(win2k): win(1d 22h 53m 17s) serv(21m 14s)
today(4h 45m 6s) xirc(30m 1s) best(1d 22h 53m 4s)
< m0use> i think my workstation is up 47 now
<+[nobong]> Linux nebula 2.4.18-14 #1 Wed Sep 4 13:35:50 EDT
2002 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
<+[nobong]>   6:13pm  up 33 days, 20:07,  1 user,  load
average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
<@shawn> darn [nobong], beat me :P
<@Tecky> stupid fucks ... stop with the my dick is bigger cuz
i got a longer uptime bs
<@Tecky> =-]
< m0use> its not about size.. its about how long you keep it
up
#71254 [ + | - ] 685
<Cypher_Dyne> I feel like ipizza tonight.
<Nakoo> Ipizza?
<[Smoke]> That's the pizza for Mac users
<[Smoke]> iPizza
<[Smoke]> It's semi-transparent and comes in at least 5 colors
<[Smoke]> Also, iPizza is in no way compatible with your
current pizza cutting tools
#71241 [ + | - ] 165
*** kkkkkk was kicked by Rimbaud (Two kkk's doesn't make a
black panther)
#71216 [ + | - ] 689
<julia> my inglish is pore
<Nurgle> engrish
<julia> ja! my engrish is pore
#71204 [ + | - ] 460
<Lady> wat does your nick mean or stand for
<Gandalf> you serious?
<Lady> wat i say
<Gandalf> I just can't believe that you don't know where
Gandalf comes from
<Lady> sorry i'm way behind you lovey
<Gandalf> it's ok.. do you watch porn?
<Lady> not that much
<Gandalf> oh ok.. it's the name of a porn star
<-- Lady has quit (Quit: Leaving)
#71181 [ + | - ] 279
(@f00kaG0at) im still trying to figure out how to get to
minesweeper
(@f00kaG0at) in xp
(@Yemen) :D
(@f00kaG0at) goddamn new start menu
(@Yemen) yeh
(@Yemen) it confused me for a couple of days too
(@f00kaG0at) ive had it 5 months
(@Yemen) oh
(@Yemen) ^_^