<etoilet> i went into the D&D store cuz they had old capcom arcade booths for sale, and my girlfriend followed me in. All the guys were sitting at a table playing D&D, and this one long haired dude got up out of his seat, strode up to my gf, bowed and said "May I help you my lady?" <crunchyfish> I don't know, man. That's pretty smooth. What was his charisma? 17? 18?
Dr SpaZZo: LOLOOLL in the locker room at school Dr SpaZZo: Theres this fat, mentally retarded kid who always asks us for pennies Dr SpaZZo: and someone today gave him a quarter Dr SpaZZo: so he started asking for quarters Dr SpaZZo: On Monday someone's going to bring in a 500 dollar monopoly bill, and maybe some houses
<Nugget> hint: if you're going to mispel a word, choose a word that isn't "illeterate" <Nugget> your dumb.
[|313|GTSR] i just rememberd i have test tomarrow [|313|GTSR] i hate HS (rAzor) You'd better pray it's not a spelling test. :
<Spacer> just heard a funny story from my mom just now <Spacer> she works as a teacher <Spacer> and in one of her classes, it started to smell like dog poo <Spacer> so she made everyone check their shoes, but they were all clean <Spacer> so she went to the head of year <Spacer> and got her to check everyones shoes <Spacer> but they were all clean still <Spacer> the smell was coming from the radiator area, so she asked the caretaker to check it out <Spacer> while he was doing that, she sent everyone outside <Spacer> but it still smelt in the corridor <Spacer> and she traced the smell to some girl <Spacer> and she checked her shoes, but they were clean <Spacer> she goes "you smell a little whiffy today, go to the toilets and check yourself out" <Spacer> so she walks off <Spacer> and the smell goes <Spacer> when she gets back, she goes to my mom <Spacer> with a big smile on her face, and says "sorry miss, i poo'd my panties" <Spacer> this is a year 11 girl, like 17 years old :P
<tragic> i would seriously pay money, like... movie ticket prices (per incident), if there was a device that allowed people to teleport from one place to another during irc conversations. it would be all like <tragic> <aZnb0i002> MAN FuK U ILL CUM 2 UR hUouSE and RaPE ur MOM biTCH ill FUCK you uP! <tragic> <john> oh seriously? *warp* <tragic> <john> hi <tragic> <aZnb0i002> oh, hello there sir. i think you were talking to my brother a minute ago. however, he left me to give you his sincerest apologies and sends word that he hopes your mother is doing exceptionally well today
<[33rd-A]Ruger> i've actually considered assassination in order to get a girl <Logic_BomB> your into necrophilia too eh?
[@|Asriel] I just got a crazy telemarket call [@|Asriel] an autoglass repair shop, asking if we had any damaged auto glass we'd like a free quote on [@|Asriel] I wondered if that was a variant on "is your refrigerator running" [@|Asriel] if I had broken glass, I'd do something about it [@Mono] lol [@|Asriel] not sit around hoping someone will call me up [@|Asriel] 911 doesnt call you up randomly "We were wondering if anybody happens to be dying, traped, giving birth, or breaking into your home at the moment" [@|Asriel] "I'm so glad you called, there's a guy holding a gun to my face" [@Mono] rofl
<`RaSh> how do i install linux i got the cd and i dont see the setup.exe or install.exe
<sic_> where the fuck could i find some decent fucking wallpaper <C4thY> home depot <C4thY> hahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahahhahhahhahah you walked right into that one dipshit
<JosephSpiros> just got Cable Modem <JosephSpiros> I'm going a bit insane <JosephSpiros> OMG <JosephSpiros> CABLE MDOEM MEANS <JosephSpiros> I CAN WAKE UP AT ANY TIME <JosephSpiros> AND JUST BE ONLINE <JosephSpiros> :D:D:D <RangerRick> haha <RangerRick> and more importantly... now your porn can MOVE! <JosephSpiros> I KNOW!
<flame> hmm when you have dialup, u download jpegs to wank over. when you have broadband you download mpegs to wank over... when you have 100mbit, u download DVD rips of pr0n films to wank over <riski> when you have 14.4 you get laid irl.
< PrincessLeia2> :q < PrincessLeia2> oops < TonicBH> what kind of face is that? < PrincessLeia2> not a facey, I was trying to quit vim %(
<ecoli> my cock is so big whenever i try to stick it in a girl, it overwrites EIP and she core dumps on my bed. :(
(doggie^): i would type that word, but i cant spell it (doggie^): the one about getting pleasure from other people's misery (slippy^): anal sex?
<Affinity> yo <Affinity> asl? <ReGnIF> hey sup? <ReGnIF> 16 m jhb u? <Affinity> man i was gonna ask, can i ReGniF you backwards.... <ReGnIF> thast my surname
<doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc <MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james <doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P <MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines its not shock <doggie^> rofl <MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom matrix <MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible <MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass <MS^Zealot> etc
<@PrincessLeia2> hmm, see the problem with computer packrat'ism is i tend to keep all my computer documentation together, no matter what it is, so it comes to be 2003 and i find Myst install directions with my computer stuff <@PrincessLeia2> yay for windows 3.1
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> You know what I find funny... <+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Companies like Sony <+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Who produce the copy protected CDs... <+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Yet also produce things which can crack it <@ketsugi|scanning> like marker pens? <+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> CD-R drives <@ketsugi|scanning> close enough
< Scribble> Must be interesting to live with the animal that ruined your life. < Scribble> ... < Scribble> Ask any married guy.
* kurt[A] is now known as kurt * kurt was away, and is back from: life <Vex> Who are you kidding kurt?
* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the wind <moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over <moktod> brb * moktod hides under desk
<AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...
<RushMore> fuck yuo <RushMore> fuck yuo <RushMore> fuc kyou <Diablo1399> okay rushmore, you've tried to say "fuck you" 3 times now and you still can't get it <RushMore> twice <RushMore> the seconds was a repeat of the first <Diablo1399> whatever, you're still retarded <RushMore> fukc you
<DarkMistress> I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it. <DarkMistress> I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella <open24hours> I'm so goth my wrists slash themselves.
<prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one martial arts channel run by a white supremist
<MoeFugger> shit, when i go back to my high school, i feel like r kelly at the playground <PhD> are you sure thats not the elementry school you frequent? <MoeFugger> :|
<MaNiAk> damnit <MaNiAk> damnit damnit <MaNiAk> maniak.tk is taken by some porn shit <Psyko> lol <Psyko> what kinda porn? <MaNiAk> not even porn <Andaru> German Scheisse <MaNiAk> www.maniak.tk <MaNiAk> yea <MaNiAk> its lolita porn * Psyko pretends he's not interested <Psyko> ew lolita porn <haylo> Thats horrible. * haylo clicks * Psyko clicks as well
·Kersus· ... - ..- .--. .. -.. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. .-- .... --- .-. . ... ·cronO· morse code? ·Sudhra· .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. / -.. --- -. - / ..- -. -.. . .-. . ... - .. -- .- - . / .. - ·Kersus· .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- .. .-.. . ... --..-- .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- --- .-. . ·iggz· I can't believe you two are ACTUALLY talking in morse code
<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink <@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor <+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy
<Dilbert> hahah today was so funny.... me and my sister were watching TV, and i wanted her to change the channel so i said "COME ON!" and she goes "Dont 'come on' me" <Dilbert> then she didnt get why i burst out laughing <APE_> is she hot? <Dilbert> yes <Dilbert> my sister is very hot <Chris_Walken> .................... <ragnarok2040> ............ <ragnarok2040> i hope she doesn't check bash.org <Dilbert> why?
<Brandon17> I used to date a blind girl. Her name was ::... ..:.: .:::. .::.. ....: .:.::
<Tikola> i still dont understand how that <3 can mean great or better or fabulous or what ever.. greater than
<Muzzle79> i'm so poor that we make the koolaid with water, then steal a bunch of sugar packets from restraunts so that we can add sugar to each glass... <Astanix> lol <Astanix> awesome * Muzzle79 is serious.. i've done it before.. <Muzzle79> lol <Jerki1989> im so poor i cant even afford to go to the restraunt to steal sugar.... <Muzzle79> by restraunts i mean <Muzzle79> arbys
<CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?
<Hawkeye> Spiderman reminds me of adolesence. One day a teenage guy wakes up with muscles, hair in new places and the ability to spray white sticky goo around the house.
<Kcred1176> you have to be circumcised to their magazine <cmn22> ????? <jrock81> easy killer <Mooky13> what? <Kcred1176> subscribed <Kcred1176> sorry
<Gudrow> being a virgin at 25 is one thing, being a FEMALE virgin at 25 is...unheard of...except in cases of gross physical deformity <Al> I don't know any 25 year old male virgins either <Gudrow> you're sitting in a channel full of people who are well on their way <Al> Gudrow: good point
<looooly> hello , I have a problem and i need help <looooly> ? <voidnull> ok. don't ask your question, though. 'cause we can read your mind. <looooly> really .so whats my problem <voidnull> ??? <voidnull> I think your problem is you're having difficulties understanding sarcasm.
<FlipTopBx> damnit, last night i fell asleep with my space heater on. <FlipTopBx> i had three boxes of Cracker Jack, each with the contents fused together into a sort of super-popcorn. <nitrifik_> neat <nitrifik_> eat them <FlipTopBx> heh. that would be the obvious thing to do. i'm not in the process of trying to "thaw" them out.
<Charles> I've got mock exams network <Charles> oops .... *next week <Neil> now theres an example of someone who spends too much damn time on the computer.
<|SoliD|> dude, i think i'm gay <The_Loserkid> WTF ? <The_Loserkid> plz don't tell me how you found that out <|SoliD|> i downloaded some gay porn just for fun <|SoliD|> i put it on for a minute or two, just to check it out <|SoliD|> suddenly i get a boner <The_Loserkid> i hate you :'(
<MishimaYukio> Ya know, there's a thing called a "blooper", which is where you get a blowjob while you're taking a shit. <fluffy> .... <Massive_Potato> ...what the hell <MishimaYukio> Well, I mention it because, well, if God didn't want us to be burdened by erections on the pot, he wouldn't have invented bloopers. <fluffy> thats the most disgusting thing ive heard in years <DoctorRiff> i will never feel the same way about the "tv's funniest bloopers" show, you've ruined my life MishimaYukio
* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla
all the time:
<choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" | less; }
<rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links
http://bash.org/\?$1 }
<martin> You lazy addicted fucks.
* martin adds it.
<toe2toe> the part i like is where IRAQ's going "we got nothing" <toe2toe> and US is going "PFFFT WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT" <toe2toe> and then <toe2toe> North Koreas going "CHECK OUT OUR NUKES, BUDDY" <toe2toe> and US is going "Hey... are you iraq? no? THEN STAY OUT OF IT"
<HuKKi> and what do chicks and KFC have in common? <HuKKi> You start with the breast - then go to the thigh then you're left with a greasy box to stick your bone in