hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#62044 [ + | - ] 230
<hpr-vb6> $2 bills pwn
<Cracker`tv> KEEP THE 2S!
<[LIQuid]> why?!
<Cracker`tv> take them to strip clubs when you get older...
strippers dont look too hard and they think they're
twenties!!!
#62036 [ + | - ] 210
<MosH> The girl was a slut.
<MrSelfDestruct^v26> loose as a goose eh
<MosH> yeah I had to strap a 2 by 4 to my ass
<MosH> so I didnt fall in that shit
#61989 [ + | - ] 158
<MS|D3m0n>: I had a really cool dream the other night and when
I woke up I tried to click View Source so that I could put it
on my site
#61979 [ + | - ] 185
<Jin> Wtf?!
* Jin kicks Quaggs' ass just for looking so fucked
<ramoth4> jin you don't have to kick someone to hurt them
<ramoth4> just kind of saunter up
<ramoth4> and lie down
<ramoth4> *squish*
<ramoth4> "oops sorry"
*** ramoth4 was kicked off #spidermantc by Jin (*squish*)
#61972 [ + | - ] 283
<BonzoBoy> An honorary degree is like a nerf dildo.
<ramoth4> nerf dildos can be fun....sort of
<Equinas> i use a nerf whip
<Equinas> it's part of the Bondage for Beginners set
#61930 [ + | - ] 317
<iota> i think my son is prejudice
<HgR`Your_Dead> [ iota ] why?
<iota> i brought him a black vantriliquist dummy home from
work and he ripped it's legs off
<iota> the really bad part is i picked him up and made his
mouth move and went can a nigga get a wheel chair
#61903 [ + | - ] 209
(+RC-Cola): it'd be awesome if like there were people
breakdancing
(+RC-Cola): and you just got your boner out and spun like a
top on your boner
(+RC-Cola): and held your feet behind your head in a
suplex-style arc
(+Mr_Legacy): RC: you just might be retarted.
(+RC-Cola): oh my bad
#61898 [ + | - ] 99
<FIFpe> Dude, can you ask Andrew to look for my wallet when he
gets home
<FIFpe> Cause I need it hard
<Qinop> yeah
<Qinop> he has it hard
<FIFpe> THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY
<FIFpe> Tell him to stick it...in his mail-box, and I"ll pick
it up on the way to church
<Qinop> we don't have a box, we have a slot
<Qinop> actually it's more like a chute
<Qinop> so we will stick it in our "door"
<FIFPe> sweet
#61891 [ + | - ] 257
<rawb-> Hey nyisles
<rawb-> Wat doez your nick mean?
<nyisles> it means Niles
<rawb-> nile, like that ocean?
#61861 [ + | - ] 235
<TREllis> avajdjddkdkkkkah
<geekster> oh look, trellis is looking at the bottom of his
laptop again
<drochaid> someone tell him it's NOT an etch-a-sketch please
<geekster> shaking it dosen't make irc go away, it will still
abuse you, more so if you break your laptop being stupid
#61852 [ + | - ] 370
<PuBeNeMy-> bahaha
<PuBeNeMy-> jaymee just walked by the bird
<PuBeNeMy-> and it yelled
<PuBeNeMy-> SLUT
<cvc> although it does sound funny
<Matt^^^> PuBeNeMy-: have you been teaching the bird dirty
words?
<cvc> nah, he's been teaching the bird to be a judge of
character
#61816 [ + | - ] 99
<rob> they charged $75/h and it took "7" hours to do it
<itr> where can i sign up for that 'repair' job
<itr> i'll repair fuckin old ladies vaginas for $75/hour
#61810 [ + | - ] 319
<i386> http://www.bash.org/?21858 <----- ROFL!
<illusi0n> haha
<i386> http://www.bash.org/?7755 <---- ABHHHAHHAH! :D SO SO
TRUE!
<i386> http://www.bash.org/?4395 <--- muahah, Linux Conf 2003
<i386> http://www.bash.org/?31318 <--- hehe, reminds me of
atomic
<BenZor> ^^____ HAHA SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LAME FUCKING
BASH.ORG LINKING N00b, WE'RE ALL FUCKING ADDICTED AND HAVE
SEEN IT BEFORE
#61809 [ + | - ] 440
<+me0w> the guy arrested for being involved with cutting up
those bodies in london is wearing a cyberdog tshirt in that
pic!
<+me0w> there was a serial killer, forget which one, he used
to chop up kids and cook them
<+me0w> but he said he tried a kid's dick
<+me0w> and it was too chewy
<+me0w> so he tossed it into the toilet
Tresnar (Thefreak__@dhcp160160225.columbus.rr.com) has joined.
<Aniki> thats what the guy here said too. first they wanted to
eat the penis raw, but it was too chewy, so they had to cook
it
<Tresnar> ... What the heck did I wander into?
#61808 [ + | - ] 240
<rone> please speak in whole sentences.  thanks.
<rone> because this
<rone> is fucking annoying
<rone> to read.
#61806 [ + | - ] -39
* Rach is happy yet pissed off
<Rach> bloody bitch
* Rach goes to kill becca
<keot> here's a spoon
* metolhead touges Rach's spoon
#61798 [ + | - ] 722
*** f0r-1- has joined #photoshop
<f0r-1-> hi
<djahmar> hi
<f0r-1-> How it hanging?
<f0r-1-> :D
<Anapaest> from here to iowa
<f0r-1-> WHEEE! so, where are you from?
<Anapaest> iowa :(
#61795 [ + | - ] 156
<Andrew> The EX in NeoEX stands for Extra
XtremeAnalPenetration.
<NeoEX> It's funny cause it's true.
#61781 [ + | - ] 153
<Alberto> "The New Year tradition is offensive to many ethnic
groups."
<Rev> In order to not offend the Chinese, do you think they
should call it "Happy New Time Unit" for the sake of political
correctness?
<Alberto> Yep
<Destruya> Well, now that the holiday season is over, we can
get back to only caring about ourselves.
<Destruya> YAY SELFISHNESS AND THE AMERICAN WAY
#61780 [ + | - ] 250
<Volt9000> My friend asked me to be in his movie
<Volt9000> I think Im gonna do it
<Volt9000> I must admit my acting skills aren't the greatest
<Volt9000> But I do have SOME acting experience
<tsingtao> <Volt9000> I've managed to convince my whole school
that I'm straight!
#61680 [ + | - ] 420
<Charlemagne> monkey? what kind of racial slur is that?
<Mercenary9> A primitive one.
#61671 [ + | - ] 176
<luciphur> think i'll go to kfc and get some blue pepsi
<luciphur> love that shit
<luciphur> and some chips and a kernel burger too
<luciphur> i mean, colonel
<luciphur> lol, got linux on the brain
#61662 [ + | - ] 781
<b1u3> when i was in like 5th grade, a DARE cop came to visit
our class
<b1u3> he was going through his whole deal like 'yes im a real
police officer, and this is a real gun on my belt, and if you
try to grab it im trained to break your arm upon reflex' and
of course we had a doped up kid with ADD in our class who only
heard 'this is a real gun, try to grab it'
#61580 [ + | - ] 20
* Nark thinks about sniffing some girls coochie to get high
<Nark> bahaha that would kick ass, 'let me get a 50c rock of
booty'
#61535 [ + | - ] 1345
<Slime> I saw a headline on the newspaper today: "Horrific
Rape in Alley", or something.
<Slime> I was like "Is there any other kind of rape?"
<Slime> "HILARIOUS RAPE AS CLOWN SODOMIZED"
#61533 [ + | - ] 16
<DarxusZzZ> it's like it's not reading the resolv.conf
<kuruption> Darxus, you're running linux?
<DarxusZzZ> on this machine? no, on the one I'm trying to
fucking install gentoo on? yes
<kuruption> i have a FAQ for you on how to resolve that
problem.... www.freebsd.org
<kuruption> hahaha
#61513 [ + | - ] 1278
<Scibert> Three @s for the IRCops under the sky
<Scibert> Seven for the Op Lords in their channels of stone
<Scibert> Nine for Mortal Chatters doomed to die
<Scibert> One for the Dark Peer on his Dark Throne
<Scibert> In the land of Ping where the Netsplits lie.
<Scibert> One @ to rule them all
<Scibert> One @ to find them
<Scibert> One @ to bring them all
<Scibert> And in the darkness, bind them
<Scibert> In the Land of Ping, where the Netsplits lie.
#61490 [ + | - ] 205
<Tenchimaru_Draconis> Put one of those small headphone covers
on your N64 Joystick. It doesn't hurt as much, is nice and
soft, protects the joystick a bit, and your joystick doesn't
get all sweaty after several hours of yanking it around.
#61470 [ + | - ] 686
<P1E> greetings, IRCMonkey
<IRCMonkey> Hi, I'm just wandering here, irc 1st timer!
<P1E> there's first time for everything I guess
<P1E> =]
<IRCMonkey> :-))
<IRCMonkey> Good bye! See you!
<-- IRCMonkey has quit (Client Quit)
<P1E> wow, that was, er, short
<CharlieG> the first time usually is
#61444 [ + | - ] 634
<Cloudy_Bear> hey you know how on the simpsons when they
scream, their tongues kinda vibrate?
<Cloudy_Bear> well anyway, I was practicing doing that in the
bathroom
<Cloudy_Bear> and this girl like walks in and is like
"uhmm.... hi..?"
#61370 [ + | - ] 198
<Fredu|mega_sad> vodka would keep us warm
<k2tu> so would stroh 80 :P
<dr_dna> so would not drinking outside in freezing
temperatures
#61362 [ + | - ] 223
<ruckuz> but then again i was really poor as a child. good
thing i was a boy otherwise i wouldn't have had anything to
play with
#61351 [ + | - ] 341
* @PsykoDave eats his King Sized Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodle
<@GregTG> Wow dave.
<@GregTG> That's a long way to go for a synonym of "cock"
#61348 [ + | - ] 831
<Bruns> I got used to people calling me 'Miss' or 'Maam' on
the phone when doing support
<Bruns> then they apologize like crazy after I tell them my
name
<Bruns> "Oh, I'm sorry sir.  Its just that..."
<Bruns> "...That I sound like a girl.  I know.  Thanks for
reminding me."
#61341 [ + | - ] 26
<Clay> cs is like the eqivalent of eminem every 13year old
loves it
#61317 [ + | - ] 269
* [TxC]-LaSeK is back from having hot sex. I was gone for
3secs
#61272 [ + | - ] 160
<Yora> *dryly* you arent paying for it and the company doesnt
make money off you playing, what would you call it?
<FireIsFun> Grand Theft Data
#61239 [ + | - ] 354
<maff> i know how to curb your childs videogame addiction
<maff> buy them a mac
#61227 [ + | - ] 176
<Tont0> TCP/IP illustrated needs a swimsuit issue
#61147 [ + | - ] 310
<Dark_Ayanami> Popups have been around since the dawn of porn.
Prehistoric, pornographic cave paintings would interrupt
primitive man's masturbation with other paintings popping up
hawking larger genitalia/clubs/wheels/fires.
<Dark_Ayanami> Then the first man would bash the new painter
with his club (a primitive version of a mouse) and get back to
"work".
<Dark_Ayanami> This is the first demonstrated case of "popup
rage".
#61129 [ + | - ] 728
<Paden> some of you people have the smallist ego in the world
and you get your jollys off buy ban/kicking someone well thats
sad you pick on me becouse i have bad grammer and can't spell
good well you need to look you're fag ass in the mirror and
look at a dumb fuck who has no life and will never have one
and the only girlfrien you ever had was palmla handerson ans
her 5 friends
<Alarach> guess that's not me.
<Minion> smallest
<Minion> jollies
<Minion> grammar
<Alarach> because
<Venkmen> because
<Venkmen> grammar
<Alarach> your
<Paden> fuck you
<Minion> haha
<Venkmen> your
<Paden> fuck you
<Alarach> girlfriend
#61127 [ + | - ] 199
<aweigh> Physical pain?
<aweigh> Sign me up.
<WussyBoy> Pain can be fun, but certainly not in a sexual way
<aweigh> Obviously you've never had a donkey punch.
<Galvatron> ...that was in no way appropriate
#61110 [ + | - ] 611
<Ralp> Does it pop up a window that says "WARNING!! Your
computer is currently broadcasting an IP address!  With this
IP address hackers can immediately begin attack your computer!
Click here to enlarge your penis!"
#61085 [ + | - ] 237
<Oolong> <Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet =
convinced they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning,
and convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know
jack about you
<Oolong> he forgot convinced they're japanese
<Oolong> "aya, Britney Spears no kawaii desu nyo! ^O^^^O^O^^O^
"
#61064 [ + | - ] 88
<aleks_> anybody know of a linux app that performs an
operation similar to windows XP's "bridge network"?
<@Lion-O> aleks_: first of all, what does that thing do ?
<PufF-> its a cheat to get around the 'hassle' of subnet'ing
<@Lion-O> aleks_: oh, then I have a solution. Cheat and ask a
real admin to set it up for you, then take the glory.  I guess
the app would be called "mail".
#61048 [ + | - ] 459
<RS-Ryan> crap.. i'm having a blonde moument, what's IGMP
again?
<Not_RS_Webby> shit beats the fuck out of me
<Not_RS_Webby> im drunk
<RS-Ryan> God you Cisco support techs suck
#61025 [ + | - ] 101
I like 2eat tape: when i was in 4 th grade there was this
awesome 5 grader matthew podawski, i rememeber, and he used to
ride his bike to school and mis match socks and and i really
wanted to be his friend but he was so weird and he thanked me
for the offer but was like "one friend in the world is enough"
he then transfered schools
#61023 [ + | - ] 823
<Waynebo> Today was haiku day in English class!
<Waynebo> My haiku was Guy in front of me/ Does not know he is
asian/ Karate chop him
<Waynebo> The guy in front of me's haiku was Guy behind of me
/ Wants to karate chop me/ I am very scared
#61020 [ + | - ] 130
<Aurican> i remember when GavJCD tried to nuke me...word nuke
in a private msg....he eventually flooded himself off
#60997 [ + | - ] 218
<Godsey> I want to beta test EverQuest 2 and get paid for it
<etrigan> oh i'd do that but so would tons of gamers :/
<Godsey> I'm highly qualified :)
<Godsey> I am fat and have BO