hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#58172 [ + | - ] 97
--> nwa (~mc_ren@dsl05673a42.mich.athenet.net) has joined #
perl-fu
<nwa> OMG I just had the best shower
<nwa> I bought one of those girly gay shower sponges
<nwa> man, I'm like fuckin lickable clean
<you_suck> ...
<nwa> anyone want to prove me wrong?
<nekroplasm> wtf
--- hardlined sets ban on *!*@*.athenet.net
<-- hardlined has kicked nwa from #perl-fu (uhh.. your outta
here like a boner in sweatpants..)
#58170 [ + | - ] 107
<Presto> why do they even do that on websites.
<Presto> If the link above is flashing you win!
<Presto> but it seems that the link is always flashing...
<Presto> infact, I have never seen it not flash.
<Moeser> its more like "if you are a gullible user, YOURE A
WINNER!"
<Presto> pisses me off
<jenara> ive clicked it before
<jenara> turns out, you don't win
<jenara> you sell your soul
<jenara> TO THE DEVIL
<Moeser> NOOO NOT THE DEVIL!
* Moeser rips off his mouse button
<Moeser> must.... not... click...
#58162 [ + | - ] 245
<WoWMaN\>ah well, i'm off now
<Bart\> where to?
<WoWMaN\>some people like to call it masturbation, or jerking
off. I myself prefer: "letting the dog out"
<WoWMaN\>that way it doesn't sound all that suspicious when I
tell my mum what I'm off to do
<Bart\>sure... "Mum, I'm going to let the dogs out" and then
you go to the bathroom...
<Bart\>would seem pretty suspicious to me
<WoWMaN\>well, not to my mum
<WoWMaN\>in fact... we don't even have a dog :)
#58158 [ + | - ] 696
* Locke is listening to Nsync - Tearin' Up My Heart
<Locke> ...
<Locke> time to turn the plug-in off
#58154 [ + | - ] 252
<asdasd> spellig? excuse me asshole...I got a+ in englsih
#58153 [ + | - ] 53
<Svartfot> try putting some flavored tea up you mouth..same
shit different name if  you ask me
* Svartfot was kicked by Dekkon (Thank you for not discussing
the outside world, goodbye.)
<^flash> you guys kick and ban people for the most fucked up
reasons...
<hardlined> stfukthx
* McMoo sets mode: +b *!*_flash@*.bix.bellsouth.net
* ^flash was kicked by McMoo (no we don't.)
<JafoMatic> laugh
#58148 [ + | - ] 1677
<Lakitu7> "This pokemon wears the skull of its dead mother"
<Lakitu7> Cubone is really screwed up
<Lakitu7> Why the hell would they write that into the
poke-universe? That's going to screw up some little kid
<Lakitu7> "We're sorry Johnny. Your mother didn't make it"
"Can i have her skull for a helmet?" "what?"
#58147 [ + | - ] 455
<Keiichi> i love having a 5-CD changer and a shitty memory
<Keiichi> it's like an endless supply of new music
#58146 [ + | - ] 323
<[0megaX]> oh what the hell, her computer is doing the exact
same damn thing
<[0megaX]> it's like there's a time bomb in os x..everything
works perfectly until this exact moment when it stops for both
of us..that's fooken strange
<AeroBob> It's a sign from God.
<AeroBob> Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the
eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer,
for fuck's sake."
#58132 [ + | - ] 773
<Valas> i think my family left me and went on vaction
<Valas> nobody has answered the phone for 3 days
<Fulmanar> lol
<Valas> and my bro hasnt been home either
<Valas> this is what they did on thanksgiving
<Valas> they all went to toronto and didnt tell me
<Valas> and came back 2 days later
<Valas> i should leave a suicide note and run away for like a
month, and come back and tell them "See how it feels you
stupid fucks"
<Fulmanar> lmao
#58131 [ + | - ] 319
<Nematocyst> Christ
<Nematocyst> I have you urinate
<Nematocyst> I hate to urinate
<Nematocyst> I have to urinate
<Nematocyst> fuck
<Nematocyst> the time it took me to write that I could have
peed like four times over
#58129 [ + | - ] 238
* Schroe enjoys the benifits of dial-up
<ZRaven> benifits?
<Schroe> In between page loads, I have time to clean various
parts of this eternally dirty house.
#58127 [ + | - ] 105
<Cecil> I keep on getting this error, it tells me to press
"any" key, where the fuck is the any key?
<A|LOCO> Right between the "jack" and "ass" key
#58126 [ + | - ] 153
<intra> I get to drop off kristin's bag... that reminds me, i
get to smell her clothes tonight before I go to bed.
#58123 [ + | - ] 217
<intra> I have to go to Walmart to get some deoderant. But I
thought it would be weird to buy just deoderant, so I thought
about getting some DING-DONGs or something, but then I'd be
buying DING-DONGS and DEODERANT. So I figure I might buy a
shirt, but then I'd be buying DING DONGS, DEODERANT and a
SHIRT. So I'm screwed no matter what I buy.
#58121 [ + | - ] 306
* LordLinus has returned.. back again ..[gone/46d 16h 43m 32s]
* LordLinus is gone.. autoaway after 15 min [cyp/lp]..
<nester> and so it begins again...
#58119 [ + | - ] 138
<Marlean> At a concert for the homeless they gave the homeless
CD`s instead of food. Like they could ever listen to it...
* Marlean sighs
#58115 [ + | - ] 134
<KungFuGrp> CABLE
<KungFuGrp> It's ALIVE!!!!!!
<KungFuGrp> the cable man didn't say anything about the warez
cds, but he kind of got mad cause of the black box plugged
into the tv
<Wilamena> haha
#58112 [ + | - ] 217
<falc> i now declare 'oat' to mean 'on another topic', please
update your geeky brains immediately
#58108 [ + | - ] 1897
*** IRC -- Based on the original code written by Jarkko
Oikarinen
*** Copyright 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991 University of Oulu,
Computing Center
<Jarkko> You people have turned a cute little project I did 5
years ago INTO A TREMENDOUS WASTE OF TIME!!!  GET A LIFE!!!
MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT!!!  You, with the bot...
have you ever kissed a woman?
#58103 [ + | - ] 88
<crunchyfish> Yeah, poor ZS. Shoplifting, and then getting in
trouble for shoplifting. Things are so fucking unfair
sometimes.
<Chris_A> Hey, Winona Ryder didn't lose her IRC priviledges.
<crunchyfish> Yeah, and she's not half as hot as ZS.
#58102 [ + | - ] 211
<Davis[half-here> http://www.tubgirl.com
<---is that a rom site?
<@Mintzs> yes
#58098 [ + | - ] 375
<Kersus> we have to exchange presents at work. we had a $20
limit. So naturally
I bought 20 dollars worth of kool-aid
#58097 [ + | - ] 216
<mootlife> wtf
* mootlife prayers have been answered
<mootlife> bus full of hot chicks just came here
* mootlife goes outside
#58093 [ + | - ] 151
<Kerrick> Thank you for installing the newest in microsoft
products: Microsoft Church
<Kerrick> Error! file: pope.bmp contains corrupt data, and
cannot load
<Kerrick> Please follow these simple steps so we can customize
Microsoft Church to your liking
<Kerrick> Step 1: Which of your children would you like to be
molested? []Billy  []Michael  []Timmy
<Kerrick> Step 2: with the addition of papyal tithing is even
easier! (to continue donate 1/10 of your salary via the paypal
button)
<Kerrick> Step 3: Microsoft church will go inot full screen
mode and cannot be closed for 2 hours every Sunday []morning
[]afternoon []night
<Kerrick> Thank you for setting up microsoft church!
#58092 [ + | - ] 234
<Carlo> hand me the url
<S^^> it's in norwegian
<Carlo> so am I
#58091 [ + | - ] 225
<WimpBastard> so tired
<WimpBastard> 3am
<Buchwald> it's only 11am.  you should be wide awake
<WimpBastard> ...
<WimpBastard> wtf
<Buchwald> dude, i live in america.  our time is the correct
time.
<Buchwald> therefore, you should be awake
<WimpBastard> >:|
#58080 [ + | - ] 242
<jalist> im giving lin what i always give her
<jalist> my knob with a ribbon round it
<jalist> maybe one day she'll actually want it
<kuhndog> kind of a small gift dont ya think jalist?
#58078 [ + | - ] 250
<Danae> From the viewpoint of an uncorrupted Christian guy,
what would candles mean?
<paranoid> He wants sex.
<Iggles> sex.
<Danae> Danae will devirginized once married.
<paranoid> Devirginized? By the Devirginizer?
<paranoid> I don't know how you "pure" and "uncorrupt" people
work, he could be giving you candles to justify his guilt of
fantasizing about you when he beats off all his curbed
christian rage into a sweatsock late at night.
#58077 [ + | - ] 181
<@Zeth> SLing: Will you take 3 years, $2.5 million with a
$500,000 signing bonus?
<@SLing> Dude, for that much money I'd eat poop for a living
#58074 [ + | - ] -29
<zAim\brb> let webcam chat
<PriMa^BeLLa> let me put on sum makeup...
<PriMa^BeLLa> bfrb
<PriMa^BeLLa> brb^
#58073 [ + | - ] 217
<Nookadum> and yet I have NO spelling erros
#58067 [ + | - ] 165
<ace> type //run c:\con\con
*** voonilla (gsfgdg@202.76.41.19503) Quit (Read error to
voonilla: Connection reset by peer)
*** voonilla (gsfgdg@202.76.41.10540) has joined #3GIMPS
<voonilla> fark yew
<voonilla> i had to like pull my computer out of the wall
<voonilla> coz this fatal action thing wouldnt go away
<voonilla> and my computer wont turn off if u push  the button
<voonilla> coz if u shut it down it turns off by itself and
shit
<voonilla> and so I HAD TO PULL IT OUT OF THE FUCKING WALL
<voonilla> AND ITS ALL UR FUCKING FAULT
#58051 [ + | - ] 156
<Maltagal> hi
<Ace> sup
<Maltagal> r u over 40
<Ace> haha no
<Maltagal> well i was going to see what u r like b/c my mum is
single
#58045 [ + | - ] -4
<Mr^Bobo> i got a hard on today gettin a haircut,,,oriental
bitch
#58033 [ + | - ] 29
<PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** Looking up your
nationality...
<PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** Checking Country
<PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** Found your race
<PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** ERR YOU = DISGUSTING SLAV
<PSIKAR> Closing Link: 0.0.0.0 (Sorry, AUSTRALIA is full - try
later)
#58032 [ + | - ] 671
<Krasny> I have a bet with a friend he claims Sydney is not
the capitol of Australia LOL
<PsychoFreak> Uhhh
<BasTyra> HAHAHAHAHA
<PsychoFreak> Sydney isn't the capital of Australia
<PsychoFreak> you're fucked
<BasTyra> HAHAHAHAHA
#58031 [ + | - ] -79
<ras> i wish you could get a filter on irc to keep ethnics
from messaging me
#57942 [ + | - ] 284
<SnowSpectre> good lord... I search for "dos 5" on winmx and
this turns up
<Bullet> ?
<SnowSpectre> 5 young student girls fucked by 2 gym teachers
(Lolita Teen Preteen Porn Rape Sex Nude) QWER(1).mpg
<Bullet> Lovely. lol
<SnowSpectre> and two more ~1GB porn movies
<Bullet> damn.
<SnowSpectre> and they're all chicks. come on, if you're going
to return porn when I search for old versions of dos, at least
tailor it to my needs
<Tobisaurus> umm...
<SnowSpectre> something like "hunky british sys admin flames
stupid newbies"
<Bullet> lol
* Tobisaurus smirks
#57934 [ + | - ] -78
(dosdemon)  when you go to the tournament ask around,
everybody has like insane shit to trade
(dosdemon)  cards I never fucking heard of
(coderage)  you see any strong black there
(dosdemon)  yea there were these negroes playing yu-gi-oh that
looked pretty scary
(dosdemon)  make good workers if ya train em right
(coderage)  yeah but i dont have any fried chicken mana
#57933 [ + | - ] 174
<SantaClaus> Santa on @#gaysouthcoast
<SantaClaus> spreading white christmas in all the wrong places
#57928 [ + | - ] 229
<[5e]-j4yj0hn> I just dont have that much maney i can spend
<[5e]-j4yj0hn> Its all tied up in other things
<[5e]-One> like playboy mags and condoms
<[5e]-j4yj0hn> no, i have kazaa and socks
#57925 [ + | - ] 212
<Slime> Smearing your weiner in dog food and going over to Rex
does not count as losing your virginity
<Slime> Trust me, I should know
<Slime> You should have seen the faces at the hospital when I
asked where the "Ward for People Who Have Had Their Penises
Chewed On By Dogs"
#57916 [ + | - ] 290
<do0rkn0b> i wanna learn c++ but i am fat
<Tomato> if anything fat helps you learn c++
<Loco-san> cause you cant move from your chair
#57829 [ + | - ] 1721
<PigsCantFly> SO MY MUM WAS LIKE "CLEAN YOUR ROOM" AND IM LIKE
"NO WAY FACIST" IM THE PUNKEST
<@K0ffing> THEN I SAID I'M 12 NOW MUM I CAN STAY OUT AS LONG
AS I LIKE AND SHE SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM SO I STABBED HER WITH
MY LINKIN PARK PEN
<PigsCantFly> D00D MY MUM SAID SHE DOESNT WANT ME SKATING IN
THE HOUSE BUT I WAS LIKE NO WAY HITLER AND I KICK-FLIPPED TO
INDY GRIND ON THE CAT
#57823 [ + | - ] 414
<DrT> i was on that cruise once.  got really drunk and fucked
mini mouse
<katlizy> mini mouse?
<katlizy> is that not just a little kinky?
<DrT> freaked me out when the fake head came off.  turned out
to be a really nice guy though
#57810 [ + | - ] 700
<Volt9000> 8===D     O:
<Volt9000> 8===D   O:
<Volt9000> 8===D O:
<Volt9000> 8===DO:
<Volt9000> 8==):
<Volt9000> 8=):
<Volt9000> 8==):
<Volt9000> 8=):
<Volt9000> 8==):
<Volt9000> 8=):
<Volt9000> 8==DO:
<Volt9000> 8==D~O:
<Volt9000> 8==D~~O:
#57804 [ + | - ] 843
<OmkAR> weeeeeee
<OmkAR`> they should have a tv show, where ppl go from cable
back to dialup for like a month
<OmkAR`> and they film it
<OmkAR`> like survival
<Spiffeh> rofl
<@q-ReZ> lol
<@d-_-b> haha
#57799 [ + | - ] 660
<@newt0r> thank god, im atheist
#57779 [ + | - ] 216
<Lint> too bad the onion wont be allowed to print under
martial law.
<Spam_Man> is that where ninjas patrol the streets?