hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#52654 [ + | - ] 204
<_wookie_> hehe Eli was just telling me a funny story, she was
helping someone in the building here who couldn't open a jpg
in Photoshop, everytime she clicked it would open the image in
IE,  when she showed her how she wanted to know how to remove
the border from the image, eli had to explain that the image
had no border, that was the photoshop application surrounding
the picture.
<elo> thats advanced n00bism ;-)
#52651 [ + | - ] 561
(@`H4X0R`) Rape is such a negative term, I think we should
call it "suprise sex"]
#52645 [ + | - ] 730
<PONGO> ok... this is my first time on IRC
<PONGO> how do I start my own channel?
<Optikal> just join a channel that doesn't exist
<PONGO> nice try
<PONGO> =)
#52644 [ + | - ] 197
<DeterminedLilBitch> Daishi dont talk
<Daishi> ?
<Daishi> i talk
<DeterminedLilBitch> not to me
<Daishi> i just wait till some one says my name and it flashes
green
<Daishi> then i talk
<Daishi> its like sitting at a red light all day
#52642 [ + | - ] 266
(Smidge|Proggin) Someone's been usin' my computer...
(Smidge|Proggin) They tainted it by visiting aol.com
(Smidge|Proggin) I feel violated
#52635 [ + | - ] 244
<comet_11> ooh! 33 new emails
<comet_11> let's see what they are...
<comet_11> product spam, loan spam, loan spam, survey spam,
product spam, sex spam, product spam, virus spam, porn spam,
product spam, product spam, contest spam, loan spam, product
spam, product spam, loan spam, online payment spam, fake porn
virus spam, education spam, product spam, fake contact virus
spam, contest spam, product spam, loan spam, product spam,
product spam, fake virus cleaner virus spam, fake chick email
virus spam, product spam, (cont)
<comet_11> fake update virus spam, fake questionnaire virus
spam, loan spam
<comet_11> you know... it's nice to see some variety in my
emails
#52603 [ + | - ] 1238
<Khaen> Oh boy, the sky is very #9966FF today!
#52580 [ + | - ] 332
<anarch> i think I may assfuck the turks
<anarch> i owe them
<anarch> 2 centuries of occupation has made me bitter
<Mr_Poppinfresh> dude, you're not Serbian
<anarch> im roleplaying
#52577 [ + | - ] 287
<DrkNrg`> i once knew a man who took some acid and he thort he
was a fire engine, it was kinda funny until he pissed on my
lighter
#52561 [ + | - ] 62
<Apollo-> I would pay for one of you guys to come slob my knob
though ;)
* Uncouth perks.
<Uncouth> Apollo-: how much?
<Apollo-> Uncouth: $1 per minute, $1 penalty per minute after
the first minute ;)
#52551 [ + | - ] 317
<NuttO> "The proposal includes the prohibition of Mortal
Kombat, Resident Evil, Turck, the House of the Dead, Duke
Nukem, Shadowman, Quake, Instinct Killer, Doom, the Legacy of
Kain, Street Fighter and Perfect Dark."
<NuttO> I'm sure they'll see a drop in violent crimes in
twenty years thanks to this ban.
<Cordelia> and in 30 years, Asia Minor will defeat Oceana
#52547 [ + | - ] 835
<Shark> i'm the only human that has actually seen the loch
ness monster
<SeXyBW> is that what you call it now shark?
<Shark> haha, that's what i call my dick
<SeXyBW> so you are the only one that has seen it eh
#52546 [ + | - ] 219
<rev> mel has nipples like sausages
<Melissa> links or patties?
#52519 [ + | - ] 3
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
<temAjinsDawg> I have ultima IV, on SMS......best SMS game
ever
<temAjinsDawg> people say itS hard to find....is that tRue?
<temAjinsDawg> I boughT it for $2
<temAjinsDawg> yeaH ok.....don'T all talk at onCe
<temAjinsDawg> hellllllllllllllllooo
<temAjinsDawg> phukking answer me!!!!!!!
<temAjinsDawg> Do you want me to unleash my horde of script
kiddies???
<temAjinsDawg> I have many who do what i ask, in return for
wareZ
<temAjinsDawg> so answer
<temAjinsDawg> pleasE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<temAjinsDawg> i am asking nicely now......answer me
<temAjinsDawg> phuck you all.......i have your
IP's.......expect trouble!......have a nice day!
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima
#52518 [ + | - ] 104
<poo_al> i used to have "bromothymol blue" in my memory
buffer.
<poo_al> then i copied the girlskissing url
<poo_al> and pasted that into my lab
<poo_al> too bad i found it
<poo_al> my teacher would have given me a 110% if i left it in
:(
#52515 [ + | - ] 384
<trashcan> studpid email
<trashcan> Subject:Massive Cocks, 14 inch cocks ripping open
tight teen cunt holes
<trashcan> WHO thinks of these things
<PhD> i heardly think world health organization has time to
think up of spam email titles
#52512 [ + | - ] 240
harleyb: we're not dumb like that up in canda
harleyb: and we can also spell our countrie's name
harleyb: and use proper everything
harleyb: *country's
#52503 [ + | - ] 1054
<neural> i wish my motherboard would find a fatherboard so i
could have anotherboard
#52501 [ + | - ] 305
<Graphic_V> Remember when you turned 18 and you could finally
start looking at those naked people on the internet?
#52499 [ + | - ] 507
<Toad> My two best friends don't use the internet :(
<Slime> Ryu and Ken aren't real people though, Toad
#52491 [ + | - ] 1020
<Boogieman> possibly the wierdest thing ever just happend.
<Boogieman> I really had to take a piss so I ran to the
bathroom.
<Boogieman> and I ran into the room, but I didn't know that my
dad put a new mat in there.
<Boogieman> Ususally bathroom mats have those anti slip things
on the bottom, but this one didn't
<Boogieman> and I sliped, smashed my shoulder on the toiled,
pissed myself, and cried out in pain
<Boogieman> my dad comes down and is like "what happened!?...
wait, you know what, I don't want to know" and then goes
upstairs
#52478 [ + | - ] 49
<Emiko> a if u turn off ur computer and ur dl something in IRC
would it still dl or u have to dl it again??
#52477 [ + | - ] 241
Dr SpaZZo: Why the hell do they call it fox undercover when
they just go up to the people on the street and go "WHY R U
SWINDALING TEH COMMUN PUBLIK :-("
#52462 [ + | - ] 481
<Cloe> be quiet or i'll beat you like a rented mule
<Crowley> you abuse your rented pack animals?
<Cloe> yes, i do
<Cloe> now carry my stuff up the trail
<Crowley> suck my huge donkey dick
#52457 [ + | - ] 126
<Geollum> The third volume of the trilogy is no better, Yott
insists. Creatures with dark faces, black eyes and long black
hair coming from the east and the south and wielding scimitars
is obviously racist, he says.
<Chronologist> lol....
<Geollum> Ok, it's not OUR fault that black has come to
associate Evil
<KeeperX> OMG
<KeeperX> THE LOTR HAS HAD BAD INFLUENCE ON ME
* KeeperX goes to the south and kills some dark skinned people
wielding scimitars
#52449 [ + | - ] 223
<pyre> I need to download more hardware
#52426 [ + | - ] 319
<MvCrash> I did it DOGGY style with my wife this morning.....
<MvCrash> I begged... she rolled over and played DEAD!!!
#52412 [ + | - ] 631
<Brookes_Baby> Hey does anyone have an idea of what I could
get for my collection of Final Fantasy games?
<Kevyn> Not laid.
#52407 [ + | - ] 96
<Ronwe> /slap -chainsaw "joojoo"
<joojoo> /slap -cock "Ronwe"
<joojoo> =x~
<Ronwe> it's not big enough to hurt
<joojoo> Text generally doesn't.
<Ronwe> interesting... your cock is text
<joojoo> Whoever said that?
<joojoo> Whoever said I was using my "cock"~#@E Q&!#*(
<joojoo> AHAH
<joojoo> WOW LETS GET ANALLY TECHNICAL NOW =]
<Ronwe> Do me a favour
<Ronwe> Don't use the word anal when we're talking about cocks
#52404 [ + | - ] 925
<shavenwookiee> SHIT!
<shavenwookiee> my sister is home now, with friends.
<shavenwookiee> so ends the walking around nude fun I was
having.
<Antiarc> Heh...sister comes home with friends to find brother
walking about house, nude.
<Antiarc> Sounds like the setup for a porn movie
<shavenwookiee> uh, gross?
<shavenwookiee> that's my sister, dude.
<shavenwookiee> I grew out of that.
<shavenwookiee> er.. I MEAN..
#52398 [ + | - ] 330
<chintss> how do i configure ftp http and telnet  in RH 8.0
<chintss> plzzzzz
<tictac> chintss: rtfm
<chintss> tictac : rtfm: command not found
#52370 [ + | - ] 131
<Sandino> christ, Im pushing 30 and Ive never driven a car, I
need a life application not a job one
#52340 [ + | - ] 442
<TurboYoda> what is bash.org?
<TurboYoda> Is it suitable for Me?
<fezm0nkey> Its a gay sex site.
<fezm0nkey> Hardcore anal fun.
<TurboYoda> I'll visit it when nobody's home
#52337 [ + | - ] 474
* webby_g well chuffed now
<[smee]> lol
<[smee]> make me feel it, hurt me!
<DeuxVisage> guess this was the wrong time to walk in on a
conversation
<DeuxVisage> take your bondage elsewhere
<[smee]> i like her when she plays her dominatrix role
<webby_g> who?
<[smee]> you!
<webby_g> omg
<webby_g> YOU THINK IM FEMALE?
#52328 [ + | - ] 666
*** klaas-sinterkla has joined #photoshop
<klaas-sinterkla> hellol
<klaas-sinterkla> who knows the programm photoshop
<@Anapaest> what kind of programm is it?
<klaas-sinterkla> It's about websites n stuff
<@Anapaest> better ask in #website-stuff then
<klaas-sinterkla> k, thx
*** klaas-sinterkla has left #photoshop
#52303 [ + | - ] 509
<EvilJoven> millions of dollars from various governments,
business and NGOs spent on developing hardware, protocols,
software and you people use it to pretend to fart at each
other...
#52302 [ + | - ] 214
<ClosedGL> tar -xzf willy.gz;touch muh_woody;head -n 1 &&
mount /cho/momma && echo >$1 "Harder!\n";dd if=/dev/beans of=/
cho/momma/face count=1 bs=spoonfull && umount /cho/momma &&
sleep 15.
#52282 [ + | - ] 284
<@CoMPLeX[a]> im booting man
<@CoMPLeX[a]> nite nite
<@Vedran> now im gonna b bored
<@CoMPLeX[a]> nah
<@CoMPLeX[a]> just keep pasting quotes
<@Inf3kTeZ> lol
<@CoMPLeX[a]> ill set a timer to say ROFL every 5 mins
#52279 [ + | - ] 174
<thursday-> who invented lol
<thursday-> do they get royalties
#52270 [ + | - ] 524
<CelestialFool> You know, cheetos are actually really good,
you just can't stop muching on these things. Ive had about 2
bags worth already
<CelestialFool> Oh shit, diahrrea
<Kamiru> Dangerously cheesy indeed
#52267 [ + | - ] 75
<@HomeBrewR> "This combo includes a great Asus XP motherboard
with onboard video+audio, AMD Athlon XP 2000+ processor with
cooling fan & 256MB PC133 SDRAM memory" heh...no bottleneck
there
<@DeadKenne> yikes pc133 ram?!
<@HomeBrewR> dk, yeah...exactly
<@DeadKenne> that's kind of like tying one arm and a leg
together, then trying to run a race
<@da4> hehe
<@DeadKenne> you'll make it there... eventually
<@DeadKenne> the cpu must have to idle alot
<@da4> "designed by Apple hardware engineers"
#52251 [ + | - ] 284
<Terrorwolf>YES! NOS CHOOL!
<ALW>Sounds like you need to get your ass back there to me.
#52229 [ + | - ] 1286
* okram is sad
<@Aslan> why are you sad, Okram?
<okram> one of my fellow clan mates in tfc died in a car
accident
<Tomalak> Didn't he respawn?
#52207 [ + | - ] 179
<PuchikoChan> it's like the least spoken strand of jewish
language
<PuchikoChan> like some kinda porno movie
<PuchikoChan> eerrr, disregard that last comment
<SkyLancer> err
* js8|finals wonders how tera went from linguistics to porn in
one sentence
#52193 [ + | - ] 567
<KoaL> smuggling drugs into Jamaica is like smuggling slimfast
into Ethiopia
#52186 [ + | - ] 225
<Cyclonus> Fucking paper plate cut my finger!
<Red_Sky> Cast it into the DARK corner of the basement!
<MossadMan> Along with the fish heads and condoms.
<Red_Sky> Condoms, why the hell would he have those?
<Red_Sky> That's like Jesus buying waterwings.
<Red_Sky> He ain't nevah gonna use 'em!
#52174 [ + | - ] 171
<JynxDaddy> 3boy should i get it 2nd hand?
<Threeboy> its a book man.
<Threeboy> the worst thing that can be in it is semen.
<Threeboy> go for it.
<JynxDaddy> :|
#52155 [ + | - ] 369
<-- debutante has quit (This is for the guys who are
mastrubating: LARGE BLEEDING ASSHOLE. (Hopefully that made you
limp.))
<Pixelated> limp !
<Pixelated> that got me rock hard
<hardlined> you too?
<hardlined> Got a cam?
#52154 [ + | - ] 513
<Gwuffy> i found one mistake in harry potter 2 :)
<Gwuffy> not a biggy but i saw it both times
<CoRDS> that people cant fly on broomsticks?
#52141 [ + | - ] 126
<Al-Koholik> hm
<Al-Koholik> I have a taste for violence
<Al-Koholik> IE quake 3
<LuisX> Internet Explorer Quake 3?