hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#49668 [ + | - ] 761
<{FDISK}> I've listened to so many MP3s I can identify the
encoder and bitrate by ear.
<{FDISK}> Surprisingly, I'm still single.
#49666 [ + | - ] 140
<Kevyn> Fappy Spanksgiving.
#49660 [ + | - ] 213
<Radiosity> Mom sells baby for $2,000, buys VCR and
PlayStations
<Frizlefry> who'd actually buy a baby?
<Frizlefry> like I want to take care of someone else's kid
<Frizlefry> I mean, the only way I'd buy a baby is if I were a
pedophile or a cannibal
<Frizlefry> BUT MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME
<Radiosity> or both!
<Frizlefry> yes. tenderize the shit out of it before cooking
#49647 [ + | - ] 157
DaveyHasAFetish: I hate women because I hear my mom
masturbate.
#49642 [ + | - ] 536
<@LazyMan13> [¥] Lag: 1.048 seconds [¥] Project Infusion
v0.0.3 [¥]
* @LazyMan13 gives up
* +Knights slides his dick out of Lazy's connection and zips
his pants...
<@LazyMan13> [¥] Lag: 0.102 seconds [¥] Project Infusion
v0.0.3 [¥]
<@LazyMan13> .....
<@LazyMan13> damn you Knights
#49641 [ + | - ] 354
<DjSeph> I actually haven't had the Cup holder call, but I did
have one where the customer dropped the computer out a 3 story
window and blamed the fact that it shattered on Windows not
being "stabile & tough enough".........they then told me that
Linux could withstand the fall.........
#49630 [ + | - ] 317
<Ifrit> Hey H-fan?
<H-fan2002> hmmm?
<Ifrit> Have you heard it?
<H-fan2002> what?
<Ifrit> Have you heard it?
<H-fan2002> heard what?
<Ifrit> Have you heard the jokes they don't tell fags?
*** Cybil has joined #digiartistsdomain
<H-fan2002> no
<Ifrit> ......
* Ifrit stifles laughter
<H-fan2002> fuck of ifrit
<Ifrit> :D
#49629 [ + | - ] 286
<`3pX^Manitoba>  If you sleep with a guy, it doesnt
necessarily mean you're gay right?--PM ME plz, I need to kno
<Jivedue> what's the setting? prison or at home?
#49627 [ + | - ] 200
(@existx) I CANNOT LISTEN TO TRANCE AND MAINTAIN A HARDON!
#49626 [ + | - ] -69
<Ffieldboy23> dim sim get a life
<chineseguy4u> why dun u go bak to greasy wogland and shave
dat monobrow
<chineseguy4u> and take dat fully sik rear schpoiler of urs
bak to wogland
#49623 [ + | - ] 28
<exemplary> !BrewMstr (meatloaf)
-paradise_by_the_dashboard_light.mp3
<exemplary> well then
<exemplary> i'm gay
<exemplary> don't tell
#49622 [ + | - ] 289
<kinzillah> pie.
<jej> cocks.
<kinzillah> now THAT'S some word association right there
#49614 [ + | - ] 293
<Dekkon> the meaning of life is as follows:
<Dekkon> "up up down down left right left right B A select
start"
#49612 [ + | - ] 355
< tom> My sister is back... and instead of spending quality
time with her family... she's playing Lunar 2!
< ninjamike> and you're on IRC
#49610 [ + | - ] 366
SwEeTi6724: Every year 11,000 Americans injure themselves
while trying out bizarre sexual postions.
XDarkMindedX: Amateurs...
#49607 [ + | - ] 306
<Antiarc> Ever have one of those moments where you get out of
the shower, get dressed and all, and then realize that you
left your webcam on broadcast mode?
#49606 [ + | - ] 75
<BombScare> RAM Usage: 349/503MB (69.38%)
<snag> :/
<DSLDemon> snag usage: 512/512LBS (100%)
<snag> that's 512more lbs of man than you
<DSLDemon> i'm not sure what that means
<DSLDemon> but ok
<BombScare> heh
<BombScare> dont try to understand snag
#49602 [ + | - ] 65
<crypt-> in my bios, should I have AGP fast write enabled or
disabled?
<uNK> do you want agp to go fast?
#49601 [ + | - ] 142
<anomaly> im talking to gf
<anomaly> lol
<darkzeratul1> gf?
<gOtHiC_fReAk`> lol
<darkzeratul1> u have a girl?
<anomaly> gothic freak
<darkzeratul1> hmm...should have figured that out for various
reasons ;)
#49599 [ + | - ] 214
<tReMeR> I was cleaning out my closet today and when i was
putting my shirts back in the dresser. i wanted to put them in
a particular order. I would temperaly put the shirts on this
chair until i put them in the closet, in order. and i thought
to my self, I have 1, 32$ office chair of cache.
<Gedit> you need a life tReMeR
#49596 [ + | - ] 211
<McMoo> monday's going to suck.
<McMoo> we are going to get fucked in the ass at work
<maff> sounds like someone's got a case of the mondays.
<ChafedNut> McMoo's name is really Milton
* ChafedNut was kicked by McMoo (i don't even have a stapler
you fucking faget)
#49590 [ + | - ] 115
`rush» pokemon stadium is so tight
«@ Alp|nE» pokemon is fucking gay.
«`rush» :(
«`rush» i know
«`rush» save me
#49589 [ + | - ] 43
* Neu[Mann] has a life but can't wait to get the upgrade!
#49588 [ + | - ] 176
<betachken> i want a Mac.
<@Burned> me too
<@Burned> its raining alot these days.
#49586 [ + | - ] 39
<@Vexer`> I just got a new pen, it says "IPMORTANT: WHEN
TRAVELING ON A PLANE, UNCAP THE PEN WITH THE TIP FACING UPWARD
TO REDUCE ANY RISK OF INK LEAKAGE
#49583 [ + | - ] 39
<SiCkNeSs-> <-------fucking maggot slipknot fan!!!
<SiCkNeSs-> got my own channel!!!!!
<SiCkNeSs-> >=)
<dreamHOBO> i believe you mean fucking faggot
#49580 [ + | - ] 142
<Dilbert> Whats the best material to use to wrap marijuana?
<[LPK]Serj> Saran Wrap
<Dilbert> k thx.
Quits: Dilbert (zorkz@Cheatlist-5F46206.md.comcast.net)
(Quit:)
#49579 [ + | - ] 677
<BigBadGangsta> Not right now, trying to seduce a girl right
now
<BigBadGangsta> Mwhahahaha
<BigBadGangsta> Damn, her dad came home, she had to sign off
<IMJack> by that 'she' means "we don't have enough to convict
you and my shift is over"
#49574 [ + | - ] 27
<Jon> quick
<Jon> turn to the victorias secret show
<Jon> theres a present for you :D
<merc0> mmm...
<merc0> Wish i could open that present
#49573 [ + | - ] 168
Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat
and what you can eat is blurred
#49572 [ + | - ] 317
MageGal: MageGal: You know what one of the coolest things is?
BubblyLikeSoda: umm...a duck...?
MageGal: Baby wipes.
BubblyLikeSoda: lol
BubblyLikeSoda: really?
MageGal: We have no toilet paper downstairs right now, but
there are babywipes.
MageGal: I feel so very fresh and clean.
#49566 [ + | - ] 159
<foop> i need a manpurse
<foop> but a dressy one
#49565 [ + | - ] 10
<foop> 30% soy, 60% whiskey, 25% cock
<foop> the three main food groups
#49564 [ + | - ] 353
<XorTiN> I am sad, I ain't got nuffin to do and all I can do
is think about my g/f
<XorTiN> and she out partyin' w/ some friends or somethin
<XorTiN> and she's grounded so I can't call her
<LlnK> she's grounded.. yet she's out partying with guys?>
<LlnK> wtf
<LlnK> you're st00pid
* LlnK backhands some sense into XorTiN
<Illustrious> weird how she's out partyin and grounded
<Illustrious> and can't call you
<Illustrious> blah LlnK you bastard quit reading my mind
<LlnK> heh
<LlnK> Illustrious: i stopped when i saw all the kiddy and
beastiality pr0n
#49562 [ + | - ] 240
<moistyman> i saw in paper a position for tiolet cleaner at a
laxative company
#49558 [ + | - ] 170
<j4yj0hn> look at me! i watch mtv all day! I am brainwashed
into thinking pop is an excellent style of music! Road Rules!
Real World! Now to go buy my $100 dollar shirt from american
eagle or abercrombie because i am a consumer whore!
<j4yj0hn> i hate television...
#49552 [ + | - ] 73
<GaveUp> i stopped skate boarding when i started dirtbiking
<YenSid> ah yea, you can really injure yourself like that
<GaveUp> hehe i've totalled three bikes but the worst injuries
i've ever had were self-inflicted ... go figure ;P
<webby_g> stupidity related injuries are always the best
#49547 [ + | - ] 396
<@martini> my weed dealer, was drunk last night
<@martini> and she started feeling me up
<@rommel> lol
<@rommel> did you advance?
<@martini> i said "call me when you sober up"
<@rommel> aw, you weren't lookin for some butt that night?
<@martini> not at that very moment
<@martini> shit was crazy
<@martini> too many things going on at once
<@kvm> u were chewing gum then?
<@martini> har har
<@rommel> HAHAHAHA
<@rommel> owned.
#49545 [ + | - ] 176
<BusyChild> im witnessing the building of a porn site as we
speak
<BusyChild> i cant wait to tell my grandkids what i did when i
was 21 the night before thansgiving
#49543 [ + | - ] 233
<Shino> internet people are creepy...
<Shino> if i wasnt me, and met myself, id piss myself with
fear
#49542 [ + | - ] 176
<Jagged> -t is like giving a bunch of small children loaded
handguns and telling each of them that the other ones all
stole his christmas pressies
#49538 [ + | - ] 194
<BusyChild> i hate it when youre just flirting with a girl and
you poke her on accident
#49532 [ + | - ] 272
<Tak777> my intel FAILED TO INFORM ME THAT THIS PLACE IS
CRAWLING WITH SNIPERS
<Tak777> fucking shitty intel
<Ragnaar> Yeah... go with AMD.  ;)
#49531 [ + | - ] 13
<Pikaben> I was born a girl, but mom made me get a sex change
because she wanted a goddamn son.
#49530 [ + | - ] 152
<Potrod> you get buffy episodes from newsgroups?
<Killa> newsgroups are like, the primary source for anything
big
<Uncle_Tobias> My penis is all over newsgroups
#49529 [ + | - ] 390
<UltimateMetroid> who here plays metroid?
<Daishi> I only play it cause you gotta know samus is hot
under that suit
<UltimateMetroid> fag
<Daishi> dumbass
#49528 [ + | - ] 101
<@Skute> so what is elf doing going out with a 14 year old??
<+Rebs|busy> having a good time it seems
#49525 [ + | - ] 445
xekk: i went to go see the ring
xekk: and this little kid, like 10 years old was sitting
behind me
xekk: i guess he had his finger in his mouth
xekk: cause everytime something scary happened, he'd say "I
bit my fingo!"
unslaught: hey everyone, im here!
MovieMan112: I bit my fingo!
#49522 [ + | - ] 244
<Hunter`> someone has a life long grudge against me
<ineffable> Hunter` : yeah, thats probably god
#49521 [ + | - ] 176
<Nyphur> I want to grwo my hair long so that if I get a
girlfriend, people will think we're lesbians.