hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#47060 [ + | - ] 427
<@PhatBob> try smoking bud with pubic hairs in it, now that
shit fucks you up
<@neotek> if you're smoking your pubic hairs, i'm PRETTY SURE
you're already fucked up.
#47059 [ + | - ] 493
<dysfunctional-24> only idiot use computers
<neotek> i hardly like to point out the obvious irony, but...
#47044 [ + | - ] 173
<+PrincessKristen> --Thanks for the Voice, Magestryn--
Hêåvêñly åddoñ
<+neotek> --Thanks for the making IRC a gayer place to be,
Hêåvêñly åddoñ--
#47032 [ + | - ] 205
*** julia_roberts was kicked by neotek (banned: spamming)
<@neotek> who would have thought that a successful actress
like julia roberts would stoop to spamming her "phat pic site"
#47006 [ + | - ] 94
<Schoonzie> dude
<Schoonzie> 16
<ApoIIyon> but like. cmon.. SHE IS SIXTEEN
<Schoonzie> getting her kit off
<Schoonzie> unpopular?
<Schoonzie> i dont think so
<ApoIIyon> illegal?
<ApoIIyon> i think so
#46986 [ + | - ] 443
<+jadedragon> so are any of you boys going to talk to me?
<@neotek> do you have nude pics?
<+jadedragon> nope
<@neotek> then probably not.
#46981 [ + | - ] 301
<@neotek> i saw the best book title today
<@neotek> 'the complete idiots guide to religion'
#46962 [ + | - ] 365
<@neotek> can you imagine how many neck injuries occur each
year from camwhores with small tits trying to lick their
nipples?
#46961 [ + | - ] 272
<Trahen0ts> nobody loves me
<Trahen0ts> that's it
<Usiel> grow boobs. i'll love you
<Trahen0ts> *turn up polka*
<Trahen0ts> how do you know I don't have boobs?
<Usiel> your picture
<Trahen0ts> that could be somebody else
<Usiel> looks like you
<Trahen0ts> how do you know?
<Usiel> i saw you
<Trahen0ts> when?
<Usiel> couple years ago
<Trahen0ts> ..
<Trahen0ts> that coulda been somebody else.
<Usiel> kind of an elaborate hoax just to fool me
<Trahen0ts> well, I'm an elaborate guy
<Trahen0ts> I have boobs, trust me
#46954 [ + | - ] 1045
<Usual> i'd convert to catholicism if i could have my book
back
<Usual> oh here it is
<Usual> shit
<Usual> you think god saw that?
#46953 [ + | - ] 957
<Sock_Monkee> woot, the hot checkout girl at the market was
checking me out again today
<OceanWave_> of course she was checking you out, you were in
the fucking supermarket line!
#46948 [ + | - ] 593
<Drull> OMG
<Drull> ARE ANY OF YOU WATCHING CNN???
<CowWEB> no whats going on?
<ego-man> ????
<ego-man> what channel is cnn?
<Drull> i dunno, nothing probably. was just wondering if
anyone was watching cnn
<LadyNikki> lol
<ego-man> fucker, i turned on my tv for the first time in
weeks. for nothin
#46933 [ + | - ] 179
( cyc )  brb
<--  ( Quit )  cyc (~cyc@nixhelp-23078.esatclear.ie) has quit.
Reason: (Quit: [X]chat - Who gives a dayum!)
( Cybermutt4 )  oi
( Cybermutt4 )  that kid is annoying
-->  ( join )  cyc (~cyc@nixhelp-23078.esatclear.ie) joined (#
linux).
( Cybermutt4 )  welcome back
#46927 [ + | - ] 383
<niglet3> my "father" sent me a mail with an image (joke about
florida's voting procedure, has a picture of some fisher-price
toy) -- the source?  forum.incesttaboo.com ...
#46925 [ + | - ] 601
<DieHard> I was lagging so bad it felt like i was shouting
binary codes through a pay phone.
#46913 [ + | - ] 656
<CaptainCanada231> So wait, I should grow the goatse?
<CaptainCanada231> *goatee
#46899 [ + | - ] 18
(@flawed) it's not rape until you get picked out of the line
up.
#46891 [ + | - ] 201
(|Lenore|) why does windows even bother giving estimates? the
times change by 5 minutes every thirty seconds...
#46869 [ + | - ] 272
<+DrDiamond> I had a hot dog in Steamboat Springs Colorado at
the Kum n' Go market
<+DrDiamond> no joke
<+DrDiamond> terrible name
<@kelea> least it wasn't in Climax, Colorado.
<+DrDiamond> I'll bet Climax has one
<+DrDiamond> it's a chain
<@kelea> lordy.  A chain of Kum 'n Go sounds like my date
life.
#46867 [ + | - ] 517
<Freaky> y'know what i don't get...
<ButtMcFloyd> laid?
#46862 [ + | - ] 211
<blu|tired> you tried to compartmentalise and detach yourself
from your emotional response to the book and approach it
abstractly, trying to purify the visual essence of your own
thoughts and feelings.
<blu|tired> so you made a sqaure
<blu|tired> a purple square
#46860 [ + | - ] 193
Rabid Llama: heh, somebody should legally change their name to
"8==D"
Rabid Llama: so they could just draw a penis instead of
signing
#46858 [ + | - ] 594
<CHAT Phut>  I'm a rebel.
<CHAT Phut>  Yesterday, I crossed the street and I only looked
TO THE LEFT!
<CHAT Phut>  (you are supposed to look both ways)
#46850 [ + | - ] 133
<loucura> She just accused me of having an affair with my
router.
<loucura> Route me baby Route me!  Oh!  Oh yah!  Oh!
<ivan> damnit my packets aren't going through
<loucura> ivan: That's because you're using the CONDOM flag
#46846 [ + | - ] 15
<Girl_Type_Zhanma> I LOVE irl... the internet can go suck cock
in hell for all i care XP
#46844 [ + | - ] 21
> HyperShadowDC gets in barrel
(Scott)  A barrel of homosexuals? Where do I sign up?!
#46840 [ + | - ] 403
<The-Fighter> i'm not a penis-driven tennager, unlike some
people in this room
<The-Fighter> *cough*
<BlazeHedgehog> MY PENIS DRIVES ME TO WORK EVERY DAY :D
#46839 [ + | - ] 157
<Trousers> Man.  Comments about sperm always quiet channels.
I still don't know why.
#46837 [ + | - ] 20
<Trousers> In the game of sex, nearly getting laid is no feat
whatsoever.
<Sep|MIDIscroungingstillstick> almost only counts in
horseshoes and handgrenades
#46835 [ + | - ] 298
<krypt> note to self: never tell a girl she's not tight
<Bigbacon> did you?
<krypt> yeah
<krypt> i told her best friend last night
<Bigbacon> what was her responce?
<krypt> her best friend was like
<krypt> 'she wanted you to think she was a virgin' and i was
like 'i never thought she was a virgin' 'she wasn't tight
enough'
<krypt> then i was like
<krypt> 'she has small boobs with big nipples too'
<krypt> and her friend was like
<krypt> I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS STUFF
#46820 [ + | - ] 114
* BlazeHedgehog is playing through Links Awakening right now
as we speak; for the first time
<Arrow> FIRST TIME?!
<BlazeHedgehog> I've owned the game for two years; I was just
really lazy about it.  But now I've gotten into the habit of
taking my GBC in with me when I go to take a crap. :B
<Arrow> Those must be long dumps if you got all the way to
Dungeon 7 off of it
#46814 [ + | - ] -27
<franx> im suing myself, for being so homo
#46813 [ + | - ] -271
(code-game) black people like to dance
#46811 [ + | - ] 191
fastfido2000: I'm still puzzled on how that chunk fit through
my hole...
fastfido2000: It's SCARY.
Kefka505: ....
Kefka505: Whoa, wait, start over.
fastfido2000: Weren't we talking about my "artistic vision?"
Kefka505: I sure as hell hope we were. O.o;
#46810 [ + | - ] 885
<Freezer> crap whered i put my assignment paper for the access
thing
--> twentydead has joined #linux
<twentydead> in ur butt
<-- twentydead has left #linux
<twentydead_serv> man who was that
<Freezer> i wonder
#46809 [ + | - ] 6
<Freed> jesus got his holy water all over my ass :(
#46806 [ + | - ] 234
(@|TripleH|) would you let a guy blow you for $1 million ?
(EnronExec) 500 dollars
(EnronExec) you can blow me for 500 dollars
#46804 [ + | - ] -104
(flawed) personally i like to take a shit on one boys chest
and jerk off while the other one spells out "i love you
flawed" in shit
#46803 [ + | - ] 231
(sh) i leave for two minutes and you guys are estimating the
ejaculatory capacity of young boy's digestive systems
#46800 [ + | - ] 10
<R-e-s-t> i know about 3 quarters of the whole html
#46799 [ + | - ] 302
<NekoGirl> i wonder if half of the ppl is making idiot to
appear on QDB or is just bornt that way
<Livewireo> That made no sense whatsoever
<NekoGirl> ok, remaking
<NekoGirl> i wonder if half of the ppl in here is playing
idiot to appear on QDB or is just they bornt that way
#46796 [ + | - ] 200
<charka> that lady you yelled at
<charka> who started crying
<jesus> My retarded neighbor, what aboot her?
<charka> you should scare her with some fireworks :)
<jesus> That is only funny the first few times
#46795 [ + | - ] 507
<debutante> i use dragon naturally speaking
<debutante> I say enter and its done
<Rjx> I don't like those voice recognition programs
<Rjx> granted I haven't used one in about 3 years
<Rjx> but the last one I used I would speak a proper sentance
<debutante> well im lying anyway
<Rjx> and it'd come out with "alice alice alice melon
grapefruit monkey"
#46794 [ + | - ] 301
Dr SpaZZo: Simpsons isnt that good anymore
TwilightKnight00: its still good!
Dr SpaZZo: Its just a little sucky, its still good, its still
good
#46792 [ + | - ] 186
<Randt> if you go to jail, your best friend is the laxative...
then when you're shitting all over the joint, noone is going
to ass rape you
#46791 [ + | - ] 26
<Dark_T_Zeratul> My calculator slices, dices, and can scramble
an egg within it's shell.  It also makes julian fries and gets
AM radio stations.
<Lady_Vahn> I'll become rich after thinking of a way to steal
stuff across the internet
<Lady_Vahn> I could like, sell it for a million dollars, keep
the prototype
<Lady_Vahn> then steal it from the guy I sold it too
#46790 [ + | - ] 694
<Kio> Blizz.
<Kio> I submitted the Titanic quote to bash.
<blizz_away> Er.
<blizz_away> Kio.
<blizz_away> The titanic quote is from bash.
#46784 [ + | - ] 30
Dr SpaZZo: I started getting down to it and then my room lit
on fire.
TwilightKnight00: if your computer overheats and combusts and
you run to another computer to tell people about it..... you
might be a junkie
#46783 [ + | - ] 147
Dr SpaZZo: Complain about something and I'll one up you.
TwilightKnight00: um i'm cold?
Dr SpaZZo: My laptop power cord is making sparks and at any
moment it'll probably light my pants on fire.
TwilightKnight00: heheh thats kinda funny
Dr SpaZZo: I know...
TwilightKnight00: if it does happen
TwilightKnight00: grab your digicam
TwilightKnight00: i want video
#46779 [ + | - ] 28
TwilightKnight: omfg
TwilightKnight: i just lost 2 and a half hours of my life
TwilightKnight: to unreal tournament
DrSpaZZo: Really? I just fucking lost 4 hours of my life to
fixing my laptop
DrSpaZZo: So shut the fuck up