<Jay> Did you hear about the Linux-car finishing last in the indy500? <MrBeek> I did now ;-) <MrBeek> Not surprised though... You know how impossible it is to find a decent driver for linux hardware?
<rabbit> rimming is freaking distgusting <rabbit> i tried it once with my ex <rabbit> and she farted in my mouth <rabbit> and i puked on her ass <rabbit> never again
<air0day> im not fucking burning crosses in the lawns of gender benders <air0day> im talking about who i want to and don't want to have sex with <air0day> i think i should be allowed to have pretty specific opinions on where i'd like to put my penis <devnulled> like in a bowl of m&m's for instance <air0day> right <air0day> a bowl of m&ms is just fine
<Maniaman> so lets say i have a date <Andares> Who's the lucky girl? <Maniaman> if that date occurs between 2 dates in a single row in a database
<IAmAhab> i put those heads on easter island <IAmAhab> it was a joke that went too far
CarlXxX: omg CarlXxX: the power was out when I got home CarlXxX: so I was like "wtf am I gonna DO!?" HitmanBravo: =/ CarlXxX: I sat down.. CarlXxX: ate CarlXxX: cut my nails CarlXxX: played with my cat CarlXxX: jerked it CarlXxX: and slept HitmanBravo: lol
<_static_> I had a dream last night I got fired because my cat called someone a nigger
<snowchyld> This weekend I downloaded 1984 (movie) via a torrent <snowchyld> this morning I got a mail in the post, 'Dear Sir, noticed you were downloading the torret (url)' <snowchyld> ........ <snowchyld> I'm so going to a 'reeducation center' after this ;; <ivan`> the DMCA letter-senders have already won
lemonlimeskull: Check it out. Just had a million dollar idea. lemonlimeskull: I buy up a bunch of gumball machines and put them in the mall. Hot Topic, coffee shops, etc. lemonlimeskull: And I fill them with Emo/Goth kid prizes!! lemonlimeskull: Razors, little folded up sonnets, clip-on lip rings, stuff like that. peterbilt: Hahahahaha lemonlimeskull: Some capsules would be filled with tears. Others would be totally empty. CrimsonJudas: As empty as the depths of my wilted, blackened soul...? lemonlimeskull: Ideally, yes.
<ahref> GOD <ahref> BETRAYED BY MY PHONE <ahref> I was at school, and this hot girl started talking to me <ahref> And she was all like "Hey, you're not as geeky as I thought you were" <ahref> And I'm like "Yeah, I know. I'm actually not geeky at all." <ahref> And then my phone starts ringing <ahref> And it's the FF7 victory theme
<TraumaPony> So. <TraumaPony> I am pissed off. <TraumaPony> My university's motto is "A university for the REAL world." <TraumaPony> And so they start off a game programming degree with six months of LISP.
<vaguepant> Woooooooow. <vaguepant> This woman is immensely full of shit. <vaguepant> "The damage that can be done to children by seeing a woman's breast in public is not that far off from the damage that can be done ... <vaguepant> "to children who engage in sexual activities with adults." <Wikidan829> oh no!! not titties!! <Wikidan829> that's absolutely insane <EdBoy> vaguepant: what the FUCK? <vaguepant> If the damage is that minor, I'm gonna start fucking kids right now
<@Nickle1776> So my sister has a life-saving tool in her car made to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. <@Nickle1776> And guess what? <@Nickle1776> She keeps it in the trunk.
Park: oh god Park: was hanging out with a couple of my friends who are like between the ages of 13-17 Park: and one of them got ahold of my wallet Park: Well, long story short, one of my condoms is now a giraffe balloon animal
<kuhbaert> Yoda: The other side is dark.. very dark. <kuhbaert> Obiwan: Quit whining and eat your toast already
<James> i didn't know this sort of thing really happened, but the other day i came home from school early and walked in on my mom having sex with a ups guy. <morningbell>What did you do? <James> i hate my dad so i ordered a bunch of shit from the internet that will be delivered by ups. :)
<Spurty> so, I learnt a lesson this morning <Spurty> choose politicially correct passwords for systems <Spurty> this _was_ my security password for test work here <Spurty> 8=======D~ <Spurty> and there was a bug in the code, so it was spewing my password into logs on servers all over the place <Spurty> meh, embaressment factor 11 out of 10 <Spurty> ttfn, I have jism to clean
<Sivvy> No, the next friday the 13th is in... July. <Elmer> O rly? When? <Sivvy> On the 13th, dipshit.
(bing0):I'm IRC user, short and stout (bing0):Here is my keyboard, i have loud mouth (bing0):I like to complain everything i read about (bing0):Except because ban, i will never logout.
<nemovc>i once found the text strings stored in the bios of my old 286. not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted." <nemovc>i always wondered how they intended to display that message
<@gotti> you know you go to a bar too much when quicken suggests it as a scheduled transaction
<Niva> I bet whoever invented Jello did so because he had a lot of friends who did acid, and really wanted to fuck with them. <Niva> "Hey, Matt, pour me a glass of water." <Niva> "Sure man, I- HOLY SHIT!" <Andolph> And just to tease them, they stuck all kinds of stuff like doll heads and legs inside the jello <Niva> Dude, this water isn't pouring? <Niva> "What are you talking about? You're getting it all over the floor!" "IT'S STILL IN THE PITCHER, MAN!!!"
<surge[dd]> I'm Iraqi <surge[dd]> I'll put a bomb in your mailbox <tenks> I don't drop bombs <tenks> I drop tanks <Thrasher`work> yeah septic tanks <Thrasher`work> cuz you're full of shit
<Taris> also, this I must share. It comes right out of my physics text book * Ssithl prepares for brainmelt. <Taris> A hockey puck, mass 0.115kg, moving at 35 m/s, strikes an octopus thrown onto the ice by a fan. The octopus has a mass of 0.265 kg. The puck and octopus slide off together. Find the velocity. <Taris> yeah, this is one that the authors put in for those students that stay up late trying to do these
<martin rockwell> life is like a vending machine, mate <martin rockwell> you either have everything you want <martin rockwell> or you're stuck in it like your fucking change
<Alwayz> linux is like the inlaw that shows up for christmas and no one knows why he's there, but he cooks amazing food <Cyriana> and molests your children
barfcat: So if you used subnetting on a network with Mac's, would that be considered Apple CIDR?
cthulhudream: come on Ben theres gotta be something we can do ||AB|| Benzin: alright I got an idea ||AB|| Benzin: I'm gonna need a pound of rohypnol, a keg, and directions to the nearest sorority house ||AB|| Benzin: and an alibi ||AB|| Benzin: cause they'll trace that shit when 30 girls don't remember what happened or why their pregnant, and all that cthulhudream: I kinda wanna make larping weapons ||AB|| Benzin: and on the other end of the spectrum...
<Cell>: i heard tupac was hung like a horse <Kleptomaniac>: Tupac was shot, he wasn't hung. Read the news sometime.
<DirkGently> IBO's about to turn into a OS war zone. <iDno> no because...watch this <iDno> Im going to do something that NO mac user is capable of doing. * iDno drops it.
<+pf_work> what's the opposite of <3? <Lokii> h8 <Rodry> </3 <sdoherty> >3 <Lems> !<3
<CragHack>Theory is when you know everything and nothing works. <CragHack>Practice is when things work, and noone knows why. <CragHack>Here we combine theory and practice. <CragHack>Nothing works and noone knows why. <Bs> O.o lol'd.
Jmnky127: i found a way to make money Jmnky127: at school Jmnky127: people will give me dollars to light my nipples on fire with axe Jmnky127: or other peoples nipples while they are asleep Jmnky127: ive made some good money doin that Jmnky127: like $10 Jmnky127: ive been able to eat a good lunch
<%crazy_clown> php is like teh pron <Keef> quick, dirty and cheap? <%crazy_clown> and i fap over it
(08:57:00 PM) Nick: If I had could anyone as a Street Fighter character, it'd be Stephen Hawking. (08:57:31 PM) Nick: You know his special move would be...his wheelchar would fly up in the air and then slam down into the other guy like a meteor or something.
<Scully> Yeah, so far for me "national guard" has meant taking hikes and standing around during demonstrations. <Scully> I'm not a rent-a-cop dammit <nightwatch> yah, still better than being in iraq tho <Scully> i know, my cousin got killed there 2 years ago :( <jonm> howd that happen <Scully> his humvee got hit by an RPG <jonm> wat <Scully> ? <jonm> dude im bein serious <Scully> what? <jonm> how the fuck can a roleplaying game destroy a humvee
<_Nor> some bird's applied for my dba team leader role <_Nor> as her interests she lists "Motorsport, reading (Science Fiction, Science) and playing racing games on PS2/PC <_Nor> I think she's got confused and was actually applying to be my wife
<fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 ttl=115 time= 69.422 ms <fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 DUP! ttl=115 time=69.887 ms <fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 DUP! ttl=115 time=86.464 ms <fugi> microsoft.com sends duplicates.. <fugi> it like they got bored of making new security holes so they just brought back some old ones
Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
<mi09>this spam generator is great. i sent out a million emails for my product <jives_>how'd it go? <mi09>great! i gat a 10% return rate <jives>thats really high! <mi09>yeah. a hundred thousand people telling me to fuck off
<thanatos> you know...the word emos sounds like some kind of a cereal <ka0tix> It does. <thanatos> eating emos for breakfast <Blaze> Emo-os <Blaze> A razor in every bite <ka0tix> "Emos. Now with free razor blades."
Magna Carta: Being in Alexa's top 1000 says a lot for any site... Motley: Related: In walmart today, it was pretty packed Motley: and my nephew (11) is going to get some icees, he gets ready to turn left out of electronics Motley: and he goes 'dude, what flavor?' Motley: I shouted 'MOAR MUDKIPS' (aka blue) Motley: Then this is what I hear.. Motley: Far left: 'KILL IT WITH FIRE!' Motley: Far right: 'NO U' Motley: Behind: 'DO NOT WANT' Motley: and then god bless 'em, the guy standing *right* next to me goes 'shut the fuck up btards!" Magna Carta: ... Magna Carta: You live in EKY? Motley: ...yeah Magna Carta: OSHIT
Muri> "Does it count as crossplay if Im a man, cosplaying a man, who dresses as a woman?" Dephemait> no... but it's STILL gay
<SketchCow> I've been asked to shut down 7 servers, all of them roughly 10 years old. <SketchCow> I've been making them play taps before turning off permanently.
< ameyer> citalim: you argue like O'Reilly <+citalim> i have a theory that bill o'reilly doesn't believe a word he says <+citalim> i think he's just trolling on a much larger scale <+citalim> i look up to him
<ez76> a mac vs. pc commercial you'll never see: "Whatcha doin, PC?" "I'm playing this new game." "Oh really, which one?" "Any." "Oh." (silence) (fade)
<nOmAd93-8> oh, I've lost a ke.-button on m. ke.board... which is after "x" and before "z"!! <68-bbb> there aren't any keys between z and x, dumbass