hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#42643 [ + | - ] 482
*** WFTP-Stats has entered[#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> sux my dick
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> losers
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
<Loman> weeeee
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> lazy bastards
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> alright im sorry
<WFTP-Stats> help me with my php now plz
#42636 [ + | - ] 166
<gleep> Damn.  The internet must be screwed up.
<gleep> You know there's something wrong when you can't
download porn.
#42634 [ + | - ] 81
<|42|-D> i just had one of those farts where u pause after and
think... "oh shit did i follow through"
#42629 [ + | - ] 47
<Nagosaki>   ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;lkjh/;.lmnbv bnm./'"?:>,mcv b
m,/."
<Nagosaki> "?VGbm/'
<Nagosaki> sorry
<Nagosaki> wiping off keyboard
#42626 [ + | - ] 253
<CapnCloud> i have a screenshot coming... it's coming...
hrrrrrghhhh
<ashen|nekogirl> O.O
* ashen|nekogirl backs far far away from CapnCloud
<CapnCloud> XD
<ashen|nekogirl> >.o
<plubeard> ....screenshots have never sounded so dirty
#42625 [ + | - ] -6
*** Quits: Noirgrim (I sold my kids for cheese)
#42607 [ + | - ] 77
<@Slasher1> on the subject of porn, it seems like JT has been
'away' for a fair while
#42606 [ + | - ] 449
<Rossell1> weird thing happened last night
<Rossell1> I had a dream where I was on IRC
<Rossell1> and everybody kept saying potatoes
<ASk> potatoes
<Winquman> potatoes
<Rossell1> :/
<Phobius> Tomato
#42602 [ + | - ] 74
--- Bigchris[porn] is now known as Bigchris
<Bigchris> damn i hate this weather
<Bigchris> cant get it up
#42600 [ + | - ] 365
(cow) like if you translate the shit she said into one
sentence
(cow) it was pretty much
(cow) i want cock
(cow) man i shoulda put quotes round that
#42599 [ + | - ] 242
(Circastes) hmm
(Circastes) i want to watch tomb raider
(Circastes) but i just jacked off
(Circastes) so it wont be very interesting
#42598 [ + | - ] 211
<Aussiedog> lol you know what happend in myers the otherday
<Aussiedog> i was in there and i go.. wow this is a cool cd,
*talks to shopkeeper* hey what is this cd
<Aussiedog> she gives me it and asks me if i am interested in
buying
<Aussiedog> and i go nar.. i just wanna kniow what songs are
on it so i can download them
<Aussiedog> she was so pissed
#42597 [ + | - ] -70
<Supachikn> i'm on bash.org
<Supachikn> FAMOURS
<Supachikn> err
<Supachikn> famous
<Supachikn> ILLITERATE
#42594 [ + | - ] 173
<@TheWongOfBisdom> (4288) IN WHICH RANGE OF HILLS ARE THE
CHEDDAR CAVES ?
<@TheWongOfBisdom> Hint: @@@@@@@
<+CapeTownJunk> mendips
<@TheWongOfBisdom> Nice going CapeTownJunk! The answer was
MENDIPS. You got it in 4.692 seconds.
<+CapeTownJunk> what a gay name
<SuperFlea> what?
<+SuperFlea> mine?
<+CapeTownJunk> no, mendips
<+CapeTownJunk> it's like having savoury crackers, and dipping
them in semen
#42587 [ + | - ] 297
<RushMore> I had a hendrix video playing on the computer and
my dad goes in. I go "Watch this"
<RushMore> guess what he said
<RushMore> "Is that hendrix? i didnt know he was black"
#42586 [ + | - ] 437
<Codek> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
<Codek> You're a Siamese twin. Your brother is gay and you're
not.
<Codek> But you only have the one ass.
#42573 [ + | - ] 312
<FFGnome> I got an E-mail from someone weird who wants to
protect my Domain Name.
<FFGnome> I DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE! ^_^
<Hellspawn> Send them someone elses domain
<Hellspawn> tell them its already been stolen
<Hellspawn> and you will sign up if they get you it back
#42565 [ + | - ] 212
<Mal> I was hoping for a mod chip on my dick so I can screw
foreign chicks
#42551 [ + | - ] 473
*** Yukanojo sets mode: +b stupid!people@everywhere
(Yukanojo): PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK
*** Renegade_R (renegade_@24.101.100.99) has joined #help
(Yukanojo): Damn, didn't work
(Renegade_R): what?
#42550 [ + | - ] 191
<RahRaH> hey theres an idea
<RahRaH> to keep my mum off the computer i can paint all of
the keys black
#42549 [ + | - ] 561
Jesus: my girl mastrabates more then i do
Finque: seeing as how your girl is your hand, i'd like to hear
you explain that one
#42544 [ + | - ] 196
<Joe_> I know a girl who's being cheated on, yet she is
oblivious to it.
<Joe_> It's funny, until I realize I'm dating her.
#42496 [ + | - ] 160
WhitePony) I want to upgrade my t3 connection to a cable
modem, where do i download the patch?
#42465 [ + | - ] 275
<@Miz> Buffys on. You told me to remind you, Porn-Star.
<@Porn-Star> erm i dont like buffy???
<@Cheez> you gay or something?
<@Porn-Star> no i think its boring and predictable
<@Cheez> ok ill rephrase. do you like sarah michelle geller?
<@Porn-Star> of course!
<@Porn-Star> look anyone who doesnt like "that scene" in cruel
intentions is a bit weird
<@Miz> the one where the guy is naked in the pool?
#42453 [ + | - ] 730
<aurikan> i got a pre-broken AOL cd in the mail today
<aurikan> how considerate of them
<aurikan> they saved me the trouble of breaking it
#42440 [ + | - ] 246
<plod> i love wireless network card and laptop
<plod> u aint lived till youve irced on the toilet
#42433 [ + | - ] 347
<Wevah> BUY YOUR COMMUNION WAFERS NOW!
<Wevah> SMALL
<Wevah> MEDIUM
<Wevah> LARGE
<Wevah> WHOLE JESUS SIZE
#42408 [ + | - ] 91
<TML> simon-: You're single, aren't you?
<simon-> TML, yes, why?
<TML> simon-: I can tell by the fact you think in terms of
'TML->wife'
<octatron> TML: would you have used TML['wife']? :P
<TML> octatron: No. I'd use wife->TML
#42404 [ + | - ] 242
<Nago> i wonder what the chemical formula for warez is
<n[a]naki> Nago: W Ar Es
<n[a]naki> Tungsten, Argon, Einsteinium
#42403 [ + | - ] 138
<SA-Thrillias> Watching porn is... different on 1600x1200.
<SA-NiteFox> You'll go blind.  Really.  With all the
squinting.
#42402 [ + | - ] 293
<Enderski> redheads are nuts
<Badtz> I like my girls nuts
#42395 [ + | - ] 236
<][Omen][> This is the wierdest channel I've seen in a long
time
<Fahr> YES! it IS Omen! and you know WHY???
<][Omen][> erm ... no Fahr
<Fahr> about a week ago, all the members of this channel won a
lifetime supply of pure LSD acid!
<Fahr> they put it into a nice infuse and directly into the
spinal cord!
<][MoC][Gk> mmmmmmmmm superman :p
<Fahr> GODS WE'RE STONED!
<][Omen][> erm ... pure LSD acid would kill you
<Fahr> yes, most of us are also dead...
#42391 [ + | - ] 195
<@Phillip> so
<@Phillip> ive come up with a rough formula to calculate the
chance that a chick at a bar will want to screw me
<@Phillip> C=[(p/t)/100]+100(D)
<@Phillip> C is the percentage chance that she will want to
<@Phillip> p is pi
<@Phillip> t is the amount of time in seconds that i talk
<@Phillip> and D is how drunk she is
#42390 [ + | - ] 913
Thainthallas: oh... so... the other night, i go into software
etc.
Thainthallas: and i walk up and say "i want to reserve a copy
of metroid prime"
Thainthallas: the guy starts trying to talk to me about the
game, and asking stuff like if i was "really excited to see
the new metroid"
Thainthallas: i said "well... I'm really not sure about the
whole thing, but the girlfriend said 'me wantie' so I buyie"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants metroid prime?"
Thainthallas: "yes, yes she does"
Thainthallas: "she also says i need to buy vice city"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants vice city?"
Thainthallas: by now, i start to realize that he's getting a
little jealous
Thainthallas: so i just say "yeah, and she's hot, too!"
#42388 [ + | - ] -18
<ZeroHour> that NYLUG looked decent
<ZeroHour> if we did a Mississippi LUG
<ZeroHour> it would be a buncha grungy ass rednecks
<ZeroHour> with ghetoo laptops and paintless rides
<ZeroHour> rides where the paint peeled off
<ZeroHour> rides with different colors on each panel of the
body of the vehicle
#42386 [ + | - ] 115
(nark): under age girls in pvc... sigh
(nark): only in japan
#42385 [ + | - ] 186
<Supachikn> square and sony are based in japan
<Supachikn> and heaps of other game devs
<Supachikn> and anime
<Supachikn> and hot chicks
<Supachikn> and rally cars
<Supachikn> and nice motorcycles
<Demigoat> and all night whale-meat buffets!
#42384 [ + | - ] 59
<Supachikn> i've been getting off on my moving-to-japan thing
lately
<Supachikn> so asianthumbs.org is in my cache for the last few
days
<Supachikn> :(
<Demigoat> move to tokyo and become a porn star
<Demigoat> "Chen Hung Long"
#42383 [ + | - ] 381
<Nailbomb> ugggh, I swear I'm gonna be seeing pixels for the
next week, can't wait to hit the beach tomorrow
<Demigoat> yeah
<Demigoat> so you can look at the sand
<Demigoat> and go
<Demigoat> "hmm, those look like pixels"
#42382 [ + | - ] 643
<Supachikn> Demigoat, you and i are onthe same wavelength
<Supachikn> or at least frequency
<Demigoat> if you and I were ethernet cards attached to a hub
our frames would never collide!
<Supachikn> if you and i were polarised light waves we'd be
fuckin lazer beams!
<Demigoat> Turtles, The - So Happy Together.mp3
<Demigoat> I <3 supa
<Supachikn> i less than three you too, demi
#42381 [ + | - ] 62
<decoder> can somebody turn of this heavy lag?
#42376 [ + | - ] -14
<Daedalus> But you cannot, however, suck human excrement out
of spaghetti, no matter how hard you try.
#42372 [ + | - ] 417
<PropWash> I really was hoping I could be 'special enough' for
an exception..but alas..im full of myself ;>
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I'm full of many things.
<Karnophage> Like a Pinata
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Very close, actually.
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Except I'm not surrounded by little
kids with bludgeons, hoping to consume my innards.
<PropWash> quick, gimmie a stick
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> GET AWAY FROM MY ENTRAILS!!!
#42363 [ + | - ] 556
<Sorrow> DOWN WITH PANTS! UP WITH SKIRTS!
#42359 [ + | - ] 121
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I like my terror-inducing weapons of
mass destruction to have practical combat uses as well.
#42357 [ + | - ] 757
<Daedalus> Film noir cereal..."Without thinking, I crammed
that deadly sliver of metal carrying the city's most infamous
breakfast food into my maw. The tiny flakes snapped and
popped, like the fingers of a mob snitch after they found 'im.
It wasn't good cereal. But it was better than a gut fulla
led."
#42349 [ + | - ] 35
<HentaiZonga> MY LIFE IS A CROTCH!!!
#42348 [ + | - ] 83
<piro> well, irc is the realm of dictatorships, not democracy
#42347 [ + | - ] 153
<sayza> Bug: Popup menus appear in strange places
<sayza> Resolution: Turn off "smart window placement"
#42331 [ + | - ] 573
<Dezzy> actually i was looking for girlie porn for my
boyfriend
<Beerman> you're a girlie
<Beerman> you can MAKE girlie porn!
<Dezzy> hm.... true...