<Nark> anyone ever put a hole in your bed matress then, grease it up alot, then stick your joint inside and begine to thust? And then your shit got tangled in a spring and all of a sudden you realize that this was a REALLY fucking bad idea?
<Endura> Man, don't you just hate it when you are with your parents in front of important people and all of the sudden...you're hard and it won't go down?
<+aisha-fan> dude <+aisha-fan> my moms boss brougt in a "new" penteium I <+aisha-fan> those things r so old their obsoleet <@MewMew[WC3]> As is correct spelling, I presume.
<Lisa_W> ah, vevery woman's fantasy, 1,000,000s of mindless drones doing what she says....and they call her queen <Lisa_W> but we'll only want the one that acts like a jerk lol
<fuzzwad> theres like that one kid in every state that goes to best buy JUST to destroy the controller <fuzzwad> you know the one that smells funny and follows you around <fuzzwad> STARING at you... <fuzzwad> I WANT TO SQUEEZE A LEMON IN THAT KID'S EYE <Lazz> wow <Lazz> how can you fit a lemon in an eye? <fuzzwad> ILL FIND OUT!!!
<spiteful> the one day rule is when i get to "chill" with you because it only takes a day for you to get a new guy... <S4L3M> you're such a lamer <S4L3M> could you tell your brother i can't come on wednesday? <spiteful> i could... *couch*onedayrule*cough* <S4L3M> or i could just call him instead and tell him myself and ignore that last little attempt at blackmail * S4L3M smacks you in the back of the head <S4L3M> *THUNK* idiot
* }Phoenix{ has joined #haxxors
<}Phoenix{> Hey, everybody type in /beep 31337 if you wanna be
super-leet
<@Tyreal> Dont do it
<jackle> /beep 31337
<redwing> /beep 31337
<GangstaUO> /beep 31337
<jackle> gah!!!
<Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish <'Wraith> I take offense to that <Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef <SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either :
Flaritter: "hit it" is an american term DrSpaZZo: Yes Flaritter: for examples: "I'd like to hit that" DrSpaZZo: Brits must have their own thing Flaritter: AND SO FORTH DrSpaZZo: Like Flaritter: ? DrSpaZZo: 'I'd dip my crumpet in her tea'
<AnimeFreak> omg i just bought more ram today <egg> how many sheep do you have now?
<Hellspawn> Does anyone know a place where i can download Raymond E. Feists books because a) i have other things to spend cash on. b) Have run out of said cash and c) Kazaa doesnt have any <Kura> eww, you would actually read that much off a screen?! o_O <Hellspawn> there's a great new invention - schools printers
<Tofusensei> linksys routers can suck a cock, btw <Justin> wow, they really should advertize that feature more. It would increase sales.
<@dev> I just shit out a "family" of logs. <@dev> There were two huge ones.. 2 smaller ones. and a tiny one. <@dev> And then I killed them when I flushed! <@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> lol <@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> was the tiny one the dog <@dev> It might have been a baby. <@r3v|DeathZero> did you poke it.. maybe it was a fetus <@dev> I left it alone. <@dev> :o
<Veers> I guess they don't teach bathroom manners in Africa <Donitz> Veers, newsflash, they don't have bathrooms in Africa.
<daed> believe it or not, the robot on the cover of the queen album is real and he hates you.
<skwerrel> sigh...sometimes i really wish i could just ignore my brain and become a christian
<tate> Male Mantises are killed right after procreating. They die having lived a full and happy life. <Samus> ok, I'd be a gay mantis <Samus> no death for me <Samus> i'd be living it up in Miami Beach <Samus> going to the gay mantis discos and shit
<skwerrel> my savior jesus christ, please accept my lubricated anus as compensation for my past sins
* hipnotoad tastes victory <Goonigoogoo> that was tony jerking off into the punch bowl
<tate> I just love the taste of heroin. You know? <tate> I could eat it by the spoonfull. <ecs> it doesnt go in your mouth <ecs> it goes up your anus and makes it bleed <ecs> so you can yell my anus is bleeding <tate> I think ecs has heroin confused for penis <ecs> isnt heroin the long slender shaft like object that you shove in your asshole?
<MrMortisland> I know emo <MrMortisland> Emo is little boys crying on stage because their daddy touched their pee pee
<Samus> With some minor manipulation, I can make my uncircumcised penis look like Birdo from Super Mario 2
<Tony> I challenge you to a duel. <Tony> Penises, at dawn. <Beerman> but battling against an unarmed opponent is so unfair
<daniel_> i dont wanna use my brain to think <Pntklr> i prefer to use my penis <evilmorty> the last time i tried that i got a kid
<KonamiKid> kris, i'm gonna email you pictures of my wang <zat> hah <KonamiKid> it will have little eyes and a moustache drawn on it <KonamiKid> but no stick on eyes/mustache... <Kris> gee, thanks KK <KonamiKid> i made that mistake once before... <KonamiKid> i had to soak my cock in a glass of alcohol to get the sticker to come off
--- Received a CTCP NIGGERNIGGERNIGGER from amoeba (to # somethingawful) <Hee-La> score <SteamedHams> i was about to nigger <Hee-La> never hesitate when niggering <SteamedHams> but it might blackfire
* Orroni slaps DarkPrince_working around a bit with a large trout * Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large trout <Liason> trout is soooooooooo 1995 <Orroni> i agree, it's too retro <Orroni> maybe a leather trout with tassles * Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large lubrified fanged dildo <Orroni> now that's disturbing...
<jenwolf> i remember when it was a big deal when we got our first color TV <jenwolf> my dad was like, now you can see that the pink panther is pink!!
<toe2toe> what would happen is you were MEANT to type "prosecution is pressing for maximum sentencing on the count of vehicular manslaughter"....but ACTUALLY typed "the judge licks penis" <Jade_Vixen> If i was a legal secretay, this might all be a problem... <toe2toe> thats a pretty big if <toe2toe> perhaps you and your IF would like to come back to my place one day <toe2toe> and i can show you my big "perhaps" <Jade_Vixen> I can't spell for crap tonight... :P * Jade_Vixen rolls her eyes <Spizzer> ROFL toe2toe ur such a clown <toe2toe> im crying on the inside.
* BassBone finishes all his evening rituals and prepares to pack it in <Selene> Okay. That was bad timing. I'm reading porn and Bassbone is talking about packing it in.
<pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 hours to go <Glitch> lol, of what? <tharok> u timing your wanking again pb?
< DGonzo> hmm < DGonzo> my gf left her shampoo and shit here < DGonzo> next thing you know she's gonna want to plug into my hub <@[Hobbes]> DGonzo: ... For christ's sake just change your name to DWhipped <@golem> tell her she can plug into your hub if you can plug into hers anytime you like
<MMB> !8ball AM I THE HOTTEST GUY IN HERE <ChanServ> MMB: No. <MMB> !8ball do you know who is? <ChanServ> MMB: Sure. Yeah. Exactly. <Yardbomb> !8 It's me isn't it? <ChanServ> Yardbomb: Sure. Yeah. Exactly. <Ant-> !8 you said that out of pity didn't you? <ChanServ> Ant-: Yes.
<prozac420> 9 <prozac420> oops <prozac420> was trying to change tv channels <Kimaroo> lol............... <Kimaroo> if you try to change tv channels on IRC... you might be a junkie
<notmewse> so there i was, balls deep in this hookers ass <notmewse> oh shit wrong window
(jonathans) i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise (jonathans) when i hit it (jonathans) it will go "COW" (orion) cows go moo
<orion> Darwin 6.0.2 x86-compatible <orion> someone explain please <timmo> wtf is Darwin 6.0.2? <Duker900> natural selection in your operating system! <timmo> ya man i dont know about having something called darwin run my computer <timmo> youd be writing an email to your bitch <timmo> and it would be like <timmo> YOU WEAK EMO BITCH <timmo> and delete your shit
<Dr_Greenthumb-> tomarrow I got the house to myself for 4 days <Dr_Greenthumb-> ahhh, the orgies... <@EnD-Raistlin> left and right hand at the same time ? :o
<rocksicle> You know you use computers too much when your doing something in real life, make a mistake, and try to press ctrl-z.
<SpaZZtic|webpage> the bitch from next door was standing at her window watching me hang out my washing <SkewtuR> hah get some tampons hold them in water..hang them on the line when she loox yell Yeah we recycle
<Heather21> hi <negativepositive> who are you? <Heather21> just a wife home alone <Heather21> hubby is out <negativepositive> good - start cleaning the house before he comes home and hits you some more