hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#40897 [ + | - ] 261
<Clara> "Hey, this is the 00s. I wonder if there is irony in
the use of "00s?" Is it ironic that there seems to be almost
00 morality in entertainment for teens today? Almost 00
attention to morality by the filmmakers of today. Almost 00
open and honest observance of His Word? Publicly anyway?"
<zeniba> the only significance in the "00s" is that the year
now is more reminiscent of boobs than it was before
#40877 [ + | - ] 319
<JynxDaddy> YAY ive finished my Mc Hammer HL model!!
<Threeboy> im gonna pretend you didn't say that.
#40856 [ + | - ] 198
*** NormDragon has quit IRC (Quit: c:\dos c:\dos\run run\dos\
run)
#40854 [ + | - ] 288
<ultr0s> i think in the whole sense of the "information
superhighway", my isp ended up driving a yugo down some dirt
road
#40840 [ + | - ] 157
<Error_404> hmm... they seem to be covert snackfoods...
<Error_404> hostess/frito-lay denies their existance
<Cache_> see, they suck so much you can't even find shit about
them on the internet
<Cache_> goatse is on the internet and canadian potato chips
aren't
<Cache_> tells you something about the chips, man...
#40833 [ + | - ] 276
<Kuros> ya, but your in canada...
<Error_404> it's colder... but we get to fuck 14 year olds
<Error_404> so it evens out
#40828 [ + | - ] 416
[@SI-pHluid]: ::: You successfully sent (Brazillian Horse
Sex.mpg) (54.83MB) to (si-sonder) in (33m 18s) at (28.1KB/s)
[@SI-pHluid]: er.
[@SI-pHluid]: ignore that.
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: ROFLMAO
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: asdkf;mhsdFHG@$%^@$%^@$%^YRG
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: NEW QUIT MSG
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: askfgsdfGSE%^$W%^#$6
[@SI-pHluid]: /clear :|
#40826 [ + | - ] 59
<Bateau> how come there's so much illegal kiddy porn on the
net but not illegal necro porn?
#40822 [ + | - ] -3
<Tyger>there's something i dont understand...
<Tyger>why is it that some people are just plain stupid...?
<Tyger>i mean... i hate stupid people!
<Tetley>yeah, its a shame women try and play a role other than
sex and dishwasher in the world
#40821 [ + | - ] 115
<Eusis> "Where's the Anime opening?"
<KeeperX> between the legs
#40815 [ + | - ] 889
<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?
#40811 [ + | - ] 398
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> You know what I saw today that was really
sad?
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> We got these quizzes back in US History.
They were on some civil war stuff...
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> One of the questions was "What was
Lincoln's original reason for fighting the civil war?"
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> This girl behind me had written "To
defeat the north."
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> It made my head hurt.
<Yardbomb> Ghand....Those kind of people are fake
<Yardbomb> they must be robots, because there is no fucking
way a real person can really be that stupid
* Raxc raises his hand.
<CoMpUdOc> He's got a point there, Yardbomb.
#40803 [ + | - ] 236
Dirt Devil351: i found this chic
Dirt Devil351: and she likes porn
Dirt Devil351: alot
ianepson: uh huh
Dirt Devil351: shes horny
Dirt Devil351: i tell ya
Dirt Devil351: dude
Dirt Devil351: she was lookin at a porn site
ianepson: did she ask ur credit card number and offer a three
day trial too?
#40800 [ + | - ] 395
<Mach17> i haev the firewall up
<@Curator> firewall, what kind?
<Mach17> redhat 7.2 :o
<@Curator> thats a OS you fruitcake
<@Curator> not a firewall
<Mach17> stfu newb
<@Curator> ...
#40798 [ + | - ] 190
<Phucker> I just tried moving a box on my bed with my mouse
<Phucker> :/
#40791 [ + | - ] 680
<MadManDaz> I bought one of those camouflage shirts and put it
in my closet. Now I can't find it.
#40787 [ + | - ] 455
<patchmonkey> I want to start a line of sex toys called "I
Can't Believe It's Not Dick"
#40779 [ + | - ] 369
<Chris> DeMonYus!
cyrus@a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.p.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.xy-z.org
<-- prime example of why some people should NEVER be able to
touch a DNS server
#40772 [ + | - ] 54
<concordia> i dare the zionist to end the intifada
<concordia> long live intifada
<milez> concordia, leave the sovereign territory of our holy
channel.
<milez> NOW.
* FireWALLs sets mode: +b *!*@207.134.74.190
* concordia was kicked by Pazit (Banned)
#40766 [ + | - ] 235
<Cam> its good thing kids don't get all their sex ed from porn
flicks, cuz its more difficult to conceive when you always
blow your load on her face.
#40751 [ + | - ] 11
<Lexcanium> Oh, didn't you know? Microsoft buys random domain
names and has them point to their main page. It's part of
their new marketing strategy of monopolizing the internet,
since they con't do so as well with OSs anymore. ;-)
#40750 [ + | - ] 666
<yah-yah> what is CAPS ABUSE?
<Nyarlathotep-> half of your question
#40743 [ + | - ] 311
<td> i use my webcam as a mirror
<td> i dont have a mirror
<td> :|
<td> damn i am a geek
#40735 [ + | - ] 221
<Ronwe> wtf.. I'm ignoring this commercial on the TV behind me
and then it says..
<Ronwe> "you can beat your beef. OR you can watch Britney Day"
<Maur> WTF
<Ronwe> I think I'm going to beat my beef *while* watching
Britney Day
#40728 [ + | - ] 346
<nach0king> "i had a gay time at the zoo today" - is that a
slur?
<@Technogeek> Depends what 'gay' is supposed to mean. It could
mean either a good time, or that you got assraped by one of
the animals.
#40725 [ + | - ] 493
<Professor> I got a phone call asking for the Gay Homofag at
work today.
<Professor> Surprisingly, I forwarded it to the right person.
#40716 [ + | - ] 34
<Lina> Women are like cars.. if you want optimal performance,
you have to warm them up. :P
#40692 [ + | - ] 161
[ @Paula ] i used to have a teacher
[ @Paula ] who gave us something to suck on for brain
stimulation.
#40653 [ + | - ] 123
<fredrik> i once slipped while wanking
<fredrik> hurt my head badly
#40606 [ + | - ] 147
<Elmina> IRC politics are exactly like junior high politics,
only they make less difference in the real world.
#40594 [ + | - ] 305
<Reeve> Every freaking time I ask for a Big Kid's Meal at this
one Burger King they give me a Kid's Meal
<Reeve> WHERE'S THE BIG YOU COCKSUCKERS?!
<Elmina> The big is in your pants.
<Reeve> Damn right it is
<Reeve> But I'd appreciate it if it could also be in my burger
once in a while
<Elmina> Reevey wants to have sex with burgers! :>
#40593 [ + | - ] 228
<Poutremos> Win98 / Win98se CD
<Suparmono> i located dad's copy
<Suparmono> so you want me to bring it tomorrow?
<Suparmono> or want me to copy it on to 340 5-1/4" floppy
disks?
#40592 [ + | - ] 159
* Sotek would also like to know what the fuck anyone is doing
raising six children. >_<
<Ark> Sotek - Obviously not birth control pills.
#40586 [ + | - ] 165
<Jermsnap> Seen the new projector cell phones? they project
their screen on the ground or a wall with lasers, up to a
20inch "screen"
<danno> that sounds incredibly useless
<Jermsnap> not at all, those screens are tiny, cant really do
shit on em, now thats solved, also I believe it will make
humans LOOK more futuristic.
<danno> oOOOoh...
<danno> it would make a little more sense to see that on a
PDA...
<Jermsnap> PDA phones, same thing soon
<Jermsnap> I dont have a cell phone, but if I could project
stuff on stuff, Id get one :)
<Jermsnap> PDA's are usaeless to a loner like me, dun work, no
friends, what the hell would I put on there?
<danno> then what would you need a damn cellphone for?
<Jermsnap> hmmm... good point
<Jermsnap> :(
#40584 [ + | - ] -7
<DeathscytheFish> Jessica, i'm not kidding, all the gay people
my mom work with were going apeshit over it
<Kevyn> Why does your mom work with so many gay people?
<DeathscytheFish> Kevyn, she works at a hospital
<Kevyn> Oh. AIDS ward?
#40583 [ + | - ] 29
<q|x> with an ' on the e
<q|x> well you know
<q|x> like a slanty thing
<Suparmono> slanty?
<Suparmono> we dont want them here thanks
<Suparmono> unless you mean people will crippled legs
<Suparmono> we'll shove them out of the way
<Suparmono> somewhere
#40582 [ + | - ] 14
<Isengard> the www is BOOOOOORING!
<Isengard> ah.. no.... there's life in the old dog yet!
#40577 [ + | - ] 92
<Suparmono> its a dilemma, i dont ask girls out. No, there is
only one way to go about this
<tynka> oerr.. and what's that?
<Suparmono> NONCONCENTUAL INTERCOURSE
<Suparmono> except spell consent with an S
#40572 [ + | - ] 337
<Kyle> So you're going to be responsible for 65 Windows 2000
Desktops *WITHOUT* a Windows 2000 Domain.
<Kyle> Run for the hills, boy.
<Kyle> Run for the fucking hills.
#40570 [ + | - ] 648
(On September 11th)
<Sigma> shit, there is no way I'm going to a public vigil
tonight
<Sigma> public crying and weeping does nothing for me
<Sigma> but I know someone will rope me into going
<Kevyn> Public vigil? Fuck that, I'm going to the strip club.
<Sigma> Kev: do your patriotic duty
<Sigma> don't let the terrorists win
<waffle> Kevyn: everyone has to remember in their own way,
BRAVO!
<Kevyn> Word.
<Kevyn> I'll build a NEW tower.
<Kevyn> IN MY PANTS!
#40565 [ + | - ] 1311
<Kaz> Let's tell scary stories!
<The_Karma_Police> Ok, I'll start.
<The_Karma_Police> There was this guy, and he was in the
kitchen...OF DOOM!
<The_Karma_Police> And in that kitchen, he baked...THE PIE OF
LOST SOULS!
<The_Karma_Police> And to cool that pie, he put it in...THE
WINDOW TO HELL!
<Kaz> Ok, let's promise ourselves to never tell scary stories
again...ever
#40564 [ + | - ] 215
<luftmeister> i love the way the chicken nuggets are all the
same shape
<Celestar> so that you need only one instruction manual to
swallow them?
#40559 [ + | - ] 877
<Kevyn> Man, I'd fuck Mary-Kate so hard that Ashley would get
pregnant.
#40556 [ + | - ] 581
<DeathscytheFish> I think the reason i'm not good with girls
stems from the fact that the first time I ever called a girl
was also the day that the girl's mom was killed in a car wreck
and i'm trying to pick her up without knowing this and she
proceeds to rip me a new one
<Kevyn> You didn't say "I'll let you call me mommy" to her,
did you?
<Brandon64> Fish, you should have broke the ice with a "Yo
mama is so fat..." joke
<Amber> Yo mama is so dead...
<Kevyn> "My mom died" "Haha yeah, that's the oldest one in the
book"
<Brandon64> "Knock knock"  "Who's there"  "Your mom"  "Your
mom who?"  ...silence...then 5 minutes later, "Get it?  She's
dead! HAHAHAHA, let's go bowling!"
#40535 [ + | - ] 22
<SilverHorse> so hard to find good playstation isos these days
<SilverHorse> the sites either no longer exist
<SilverHorse> or are friggin french
<SilverHorse> and everyone knows you can't trust the french
<_van_> you can trust them to give up
#40534 [ + | - ] 10
<jero`> i just had a breakthrough thought. haha.
<jero`> i was watching irc
<jero`> and yanno when it comes down to it, it looks like the
matrix
<jero`> like buncha windows open
<jero`> chat scrolling here.. there
<jestix> when it comes right down to it
<jestix> you have to accept one fact.
<jestix> there IS no irc.
#40533 [ + | - ] 107
<Miss^Katie> whats the kinkiest thing you've ever done
<rachhh> well before i had my first bisexual experience, i was
smoking pot, and my boyfriend was licking me out and then he
got my dog and my dog was licking me
<Miss^Katie> what was that like?
<rachhh> it was really good
<rachhh> i dont think i would have done it if i knew about it
though
<rachhh> you ever done anything like that?
<Miss^Katie> ummm not with animals
#40532 [ + | - ] 294
*** cuteone4 has joined #photoshop
(cuteone4): has anybody in here helped me with a graphic in
the last few days?
(cln): you can be damn sure i havnt
(cuteone4): UP YOURS CLN
(cuteone4): i am trying to learn this program
(cuteone4): stupid layers.
(cln): wait..
(cln): youve been in this chan for what? 2 years?
(cln): and you don't know jack shit about photoshop?
(cuteone4): i just got the program recently
#40531 [ + | - ] 347
<Hydric> packing sucks
<Hydric> i 'could' have it done in a day...but i'm not that
motivated
<Hydric> hehe
<zoidberg> you gotta take drastic measures
<zoidberg> pack your computer, then you'll have nothing to do
but finish packing
#40530 [ + | - ] 166
<Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
<Navix{mp3}> Death to Cid for saying: <Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
* Cid{FYD} has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Lance> that was easy :P