hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#40529 [ + | - ] 161
(Mase): who we playing italinas?
(DynamoDan): macedonian
(Mase): where r they from?
(DynamoDan): the macedonians are from macedonia
#40528 [ + | - ] 1652
<thcip> Answering Machine: Did you ever hear one of those
corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi,
It's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you
are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love.'" Beep."
"Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling...Speaking of being
positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love"
#40527 [ + | - ] 386
-> -#tfc- [notice:#tfc] YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS
ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
<Spearhead> should i try it? :-P
<Spearhead> oh here we go
<Cobrabat> go on tell me what happens
<Spearhead> nothin
<Spearhead> :-P
<VooDoo> press alt and F4 at the same time
<Spearhead> nothing happens voods :-P
<Spearhead> does it have to be a capital f?
<Spearhead> hmmm xp that dont work voods :-P
<VooDoo> F4 as in the buttons above the numbers
<Spearhead> ooooh like the F1 Help button?
<Cobrabat> do you hit F and 4 together?
<Spearhead> i tried that cob it didnt work
<Spearhead> unless you have to hold shift as well to make it a
capital F
<VooDoo> like the F1 help button
<VooDoo> n00bz...
#40526 [ + | - ] 103
krux [~krux@nixhelp-62585.somewhere.dsl-verizon.net] has
joined #linux
<krux> yello
<krux> dsl is back buah :)
SignOff krux: #linux (Ping timeout)
#40525 [ + | - ] 344
<@kikazz> anyone want a copy of Windows 3.1 in Russian?
<@Nfs> may i ask why you have it?
<@kikazz> because its 8 megs, and it looked better than the
polish version
<@kikazz> my options were arabic, catalan, czech, danish,
finnish, greek, hebrew, hungarian, japanese, korean,
norweigan, persian, polish, russian, simplified chinese,
traditional chinese
<@kikazz> .. no english in there :P
<@Nfs> hebrew!
<@kikazz> "shalom, new user"
#40524 [ + | - ] 355
*** Mode change "+b *!*@24CBE824.816AE85.502C52D6.IP" for
channel #s*p by Spazz
<Spazz> Typo.
<amishjosh> typo? YOU BANNED HIM!
<Spazz> b and v, they're right next to each other
#40522 [ + | - ] 463
<ratsun> damnit i started a smallbox game but nobody came on
the field so i exited and now i cant get in
<ratsun> what to do?
<super-radish> reboot
<ratsun> the computer?
<super-radish> no, i mean take your shoes off and put them
back on
<ratsun> i'm not wearing shoes.....
#40521 [ + | - ] 1134
TAAK24: you gamecube like yes?
gamecube4789: may i ask who you are?
TAAK24: i use aim
TAAK24: i find name in directory
TAAK24: you know where i get cheap gamecube?
gamecube4789: how much money do you have?
TAAK24: no much
gamecube4789: at least 100 right?
TAAK24: no :(
TAAK24: i need save for 3 months for 100 us dollar
TAAK24: i work at factory during week
TAAK24: money not good
gamecube4789: you talk like a baby
gamecube4789: lol
TAAK24: my english no good
TAAK24: why you make fun
TAAK24: i take this insult
TAAK24: i get factory friend slit throat
TAAK24: you no fuck with I!!!
TAAK24: YOU AMERICAN COCK
TAAK24: I KILL YOU FUCK
TAAK24: i ask friendly you make fun
TAAK24: YOU FUCK
TAAK24: DIE
gamecube4789: what? i don't understand what you are saying
#40520 [ + | - ] 605
<Nate> i have a big problem suddenly
<Nate> i just went to scratch myself
<Nate> had superglue on my hand and didn't realize it
<Nate> my left hand is now superglued somewhere very bad
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Remember, twisting motions will
overstress the glue, hopefully before it overstresses you.
Weirdo_God_of_Insanity is suddenly GLAD he cannot see Nate
right now.
<Nate> .......
<Nate> oh god
<Nate> that hurt..
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> dammit
<Nate> my fingers now glued to the c key
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Well, that's gotta be an improvement,
really.
#40519 [ + | - ] 150
<@ant> With something that my hand spends more time on than my
dick, I see no reason not to splurge on a mouse.
<@Scribble> Yeah, but I'd question whether my hand spends more
time on my dick or not.
<@shrav> for me its a matter of which hand
<@shrav> i usually have one on each
#40518 [ + | - ] 330
<Tamahome> Ryan: "here" being?
<mdew> .nz of course
<Tamahome> oh, Europe doesn't count :P
<mdew> europe?
<Tamahome> Europe is traditionally a *very slow* gaming market
<mdew> since when was .nz europe?
#40517 [ + | - ] 183
<PureCaneSugar> was watching docmentry on TLC late nite.
<PureCaneSugar> roman soldiers did that.
<dan> what??
<PureCaneSugar> took piece of sheepgut. Tied a knot on one
end...
<dan> o ya...
<dan> i remember sheepskin condoms
<dan> it's like fuking a sheep up the ass and a chick at the
same time
#40516 [ + | - ] 242
<SK> Gift certificate ^_^
<TehEnemy> heh, yeah.. did that to my sis SK LOL
<TehEnemy> handed her a Target gift card.. said "Have fun"
<SK> Was it like, a $10 one? lol
<TehEnemy> She asked "how much" I said, You'll find out when
you check out now won't ya
<TehEnemy> I think that short circuited her
<TehEnemy> Cashier: That'll be 149.99, Sis: Here's my card,
Cashier: That'll be 159.99
#40515 [ + | - ] 678
[BrntToast] #amish can't join channel (you're banned!)
<------- they banned me when i asked for the secret as to how
a computer runs without electricity :(
#40513 [ + | - ] 324
*** Maquiavelo changes the topic to 'If you don't want to have
kids, have sex with your sister in law and you'll have
nephews'
#40512 [ + | - ] 42
<Catalyst> iMike: have you ever heard of a virus that corrupts
the shit out of the registry...
<Catalyst> and really buggers with the kernel
<Catalyst> and rundll
<Catalyst> actually, everything.
<iMike> yeah ive heard of that virus
<iMike> commonly called 'windows'
#40511 [ + | - ] 184
<rigel> maybe a few centuries from now, year 2k would be
remembered solely for the goatse.cx homepage.
<rigel> "the dark rectum dilation century"
<avoozl> rofl
<avoozl> it'll probably be the only thing that survives the
nuclear winter
#40510 [ + | - ] 630
<dilema> acronyms make this world a better place
<AswethinkweServ> lets have an acronym contest
<Lisa[NY]> stfu
#40509 [ + | - ] 354
<Mosswing> anyone here got berserk series ?¿
<Mosswing> in DivX format
<^cell^> i got a boner
<^cell^> does that count?
<Mosswing> what is boner ?¿
<Mosswing> is it good?
<^cell^> yeah man
<^cell^> everyone has a boner
<^cell^> why dont you?
<Mosswing> how many episodes?
<Mosswing> i would like it too if it is great :)
#40508 [ + | - ] 1949
* rabid_si is going AFK.
* rabid_si is now known as rabid_si[AFK]
<DopeHat> Rabid is going to anally fist Kao.
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now DopeHat.
* because_he_is_busy_wanking has joined #infinity
<because_he_is_busy_wanking> Rabid
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now
because_he_is_busy_wanking.
#40507 [ + | - ] 254
* Siren changes topic to 'Is it considered oral sex if my pc
goes down on me???'
#40506 [ + | - ] 109
<+DarkWaffle> newbie mIRC question: is there like a favorites
folder i can add channels to?
<+NaGone> No you type /server irc.dal.net instead
DarkWaffle «santaman7@pcp01450114pcs.chmbrs01.pa.comcast.net»
has Quit iRC
#40505 [ + | - ] 474
<MyTh`snoogans>
mY¯mom¯stole¯mY¯keYboard¯So¯im¯using¯chaRmap¯to¯type¯this
<MyTh`snoogans> god¯This¯sucks
<Unknown[SwHo]> charmap ?
<Unknown[SwHo]> like a palm-pilot ?
<MyTh`snoogans> yoU¯pRes¯The¯bUTTons¯wiTh¯the¯moUse
<MyTh`snoogans> iT¯TAkes¯foReveR
*  *   *   *   *  *  *  *
* MyTh`snoogans has joined #clan-swho
<MyTh`snoogans> did my mom think i couldnt find the keyboard
in the living room
<MyTh`snoogans> wtf was she thinking
#40504 [ + | - ] 500
<DamianMor> On the Top 50-100 page, is it possible to scroll
down further? say top 200 etc
<datacide> no
<DamianMor> Thought not
<maff> top one jillion
<datacide> take random :-)
<DamianMor> Random ones are not as high scored ;)
<McMoo> maybe you should stop letting other people decide
what's funny
<McMoo> you son of a bitch
#40503 [ + | - ] 704
<stat_`> we thought about catching a duck and cocking it :P
<Spartak> cocking
<Spartak> you sick fucks
<stat_`> cooking
<stat_`> COOKING I SAY
#40502 [ + | - ] 252
<Perryman> my vacuum blows
<DooMStalK> Perryman: You know, a lot of people have ended up
in the hospital with embarrassing injuries because they
thought their vacuum "blows"
#40501 [ + | - ] 134
<Guilty> In my politics class, my teacher said the reason
crime is dropping today is because the abortions started in
1973 of single mothers of ethnic backgrounds
<Guilty> Hence all the kids who were never born, arent here
today to be criminals
#40499 [ + | - ] 198
<RunNHide> women should be computers - then you could
re-configure their mouths to be input-only devices
#40498 [ + | - ] 533
<cygnus> in windows
<cygnus> what it mean
<cygnus> if the folder has a hand underneaath it
<Sephiroth> means it is shared
<Sephiroth> across your network
<cygnus> how did you know that
<cygnus> i thought it meant it was heavy or something
<cygnus> like
<cygnus> it's got 10 gigs in it
#40497 [ + | - ] 235
<TK-Work> Don't know if I should get 1 1,000 watt fog machine
or 2 700 watt fag machines.
<Ouroboros> Whoa.
<Ouroboros> fag machines?
<Ouroboros> What do those do?
<TK-Work> bend over the trick or treaters as they come to the
door
#40496 [ + | - ] 370
<Posno> ne 1 h3r3
<Monk> is there a minimum level of l33tness needed to respond
to that?
#40494 [ + | - ] 354
<Hawk> I'm gonna be tied up shortly...my brother and
girlfriend are stopping by
<Roman> ...
<Monk> so which one's tying you up? your bro or your gf?
#40493 [ + | - ] 137
<Shafty> but you can't expect linux to hold your dick for you
while you pee like windows does...
<Snapcase> I don't want it to hold my dick, but it would be
nice if the toilet wasn't an unmarked cinderblock.
<Thraq> and you have to shake it yourself too....
<Thraq> just grab that root and shake it good
<Thraq> and say "Take that Microsoft"!!!!!
#40492 [ + | - ] 296
<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn
machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary
#40491 [ + | - ] 119
<DevDuck> how can we you worry about a little speed difference
when there's such huge problems in the world? like hunger and
war and my mozilla crashing!?
#40490 [ + | - ] 1203
<AMD_aTHLON_MP>
mnajdi@microsoft.aint.nothing.but.a.system-crash.net
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> yeh
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i work for microsoft
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> oh ok
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> to u know l cracked the windows xp home
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> heh so what
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> many people crack our software
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> do u know the trick
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> once you try and install service pack 1 your ip
will be logged and traced
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l work for the tnt2 cracker team
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> we cracked over 40 milon softwares
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> look man
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> we got a ip logging that gives u fake traces
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> microsoft already makes millions from coporate
buyers
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> that how we cracked win xp home
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i already got your IP from IRC
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> @acc6-ppp29.hay.dialup.connect.net.au
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> ok
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l, joking
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i can call your ISP and ask them who you are
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l not evevn useing win xp home
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l,m sorry
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l was only jking
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> plz forgive me
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l got a licesed copy of win98
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> plz forgive me
#40489 [ + | - ] 210
<trife> past 2 days i been in the best mood dunno why
<far_away-> cuz u wante sex0rs
<trife> well i was about to get laid yesterday but my stepdad
just fuckin got home
<trife> :(
<trife> as soon as i unbutton her pants my stepdad pulls in
driveway
<far_away-> fuck him
<HSOK> yeah man
<HSOK> just go at her!
<HSOK> shoulda gone downstairs, gave him a twenty and said "go
see a movie, i need a little time with the lady"
#40488 [ + | - ] 155
<CofeeVint> how do i d/l ?
<Konno_Asami> type "/quit i love you" without quotes
y2kenjination has Quit iRC (i love you)
#40487 [ + | - ] -120
(CountZero) does anyone know where i can find the irc channel
for bash.org?! plz help thank you
(Sunk) Hrmm..
(Sunk) I don't.
(turb0) no
(Val[AWAY]) Hrm. Can't recall.
(D3KK0N) #bearcave
(Badtz_brx) what is bash.org?
(Val[AWAY]) #microsoft, maybe?
*** Kick: CountZero was kicked by Amanda_ (Amanda_)
(Sunk) ROFL
(turb0) HAhahahahaha
(Xanor) lol
(turb0) that was classic
(madog) omg
(Val[AWAY]) :)
#40486 [ + | - ] 216
<Soulfly-> come on simo we all know what u do on those long
brisbane to sunshine coast train trips..
<Soulfly-> YOU THINK ABOUT SEX POSITIONS DONT U?
<simo> no
<simo> i wank
<Croew> oh god
* Croew has quit IRC
#40485 [ + | - ] 13
<Tr1v14s3rv314m> 28. tegucigalpa is the capital of ______ ?
<Rive> wtfux
<Dr3w529> fuck that.
<Rive> Later
#40484 [ + | - ] 165
<Dude68> I just spent the last 15 minutes talking to an AI bot
<Homie22m> i think it was like 50 minutes
<Dude68> shhh.. I'm gonna pretend that it was only 15... so I
don't sound lame...
#40483 [ + | - ] 273
<daimonic> i was standing in the kitchen waiting for my toast
for about 2 minutes
<daimonic> stoned out of my head so i just stood there looking
at the toaster
<daimonic> then when it finally was done it gave me some
fright
<daimonic> fuck
#40482 [ + | - ] 238
<j03bl0w> I did a /ignroe *@* CHAN in one window earlier today
and only just realised, it worked in every window, and i've
had EVERY channel I've been in on ignore today ..
<j03bl0w> No fucking wonder I was bored
<j03bl0w> I just thought "strange, no ones talking today"
<j03bl0w> fucking hell.
#40480 [ + | - ] 610
* DarkScream watched some kid get hit by a car.
(DarkScream) On his bike too.
(DarkScream) The front end of the bike exploded, i almost got
hit by the shrapenal
(DarkScream) I woulda helped.. but.
(DarkScream) I was laughing too hard and stuff.
(Sklathill) o_o;;
(DarkScream) I hurt my neck rolling on the ground.
(Vulpes) I feel less bad about laughing when I read about it,
now.
(DarkScream) Laughing, of course.
(Riffraff) ...is the kid okay?
(DarkScream) Of course not.
#40479 [ + | - ] 268
<Tajar> Just a heads up... I may be gone for a few days
<Tajar> Hurricane Lili is heading our way
<Tajar> and they evacuated the town next to us
<Guildenstern> Back up your harddrive just in case
<Tajar> Guildy, I'm unplugging it. And I have zip disks of the
important stuff
<Guildenstern> bout 900
<Kiir> you know you are a computer geek when you have a
hurricane headng your way and the first thing you do is backup
your harddrive
#40477 [ + | - ] 23
<chris> aaaaah this class never ends
<chris> i'm bringing headphones next class
<chris> and a zip dick full of oggs
<chris> er...
<chris> zip disk
#40476 [ + | - ] 19
<|-|p|> neko-kun
<|-|p|> amrit is a h8er
<|-|p|> and what do we do to h8erz in this chan?
<amrit> deop em?
* amrit sets mode: -o |-|p|
* karr sets mode: -o+o amrit |-|p|
<amrit> like that?
<|-|p|> no, we usually don't do anything to haters
<amrit> ooh, heh
* |-|p| sets mode: +o amrit
* karr sets mode: -o amrit
<|-|p|> haha
<amrit> ...
<|-|p|> j00 got revenged ;p
<amrit> faggot ass bot
<amrit> I AM THE FUCKING 0WNER
<|-|p|> that's what j00 get for hating, dawg
<|-|p|> got to be a lover, not a hater
#40475 [ + | - ] 1194
<wirm> going to bed in 15 mins
<wirm> 10
<wirm> 12
<wirm> 14
<wirm> fucking download remain steady
<wirm> 13
#40474 [ + | - ] -76
<Grimspoon> would you amputate an innocent babie's arm, skin
it and use the baby arm skin as a condom in order to save 60
million lives?
<Destrox> you'd get to fuck somone with baby skin to become a
hero for earth
<Grimspoon> i'd prolly not skin it, just jab the whole arm on
my shlong and the little baby fingers would be like "ribbed
for her pleasure"
<Grimspoon> i'd use the baby arm to ass fuck jessepence
<jessepence> ooooh yeah