hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#39824 [ + | - ] 352
<ttyR2> mebe I'll hard wire an external modem to make DTMF
tones and hook it to the phone line for those pesky sales
calls
<MtDew> just get an air horn
<ttyR2> I happen to have one
<ttyR2> runs off a bottle of CO2 from my paintball gun
<MtDew> my parents used to have a small one sitting next to
the phone
<MtDew> any telemarketer got a blast in their ear
<Magus> "Good day, sir, I represent the Hotsy Totsy Aluminum
Siding Co., and...." HOOOOONK! "AAAGH!"
<MtDew> exactly
<Magus> nah, telemarketers are fun to play with
<Magus> my favorites are the credit card guys
<Magus> once I let one go thru his whole pitch, he thought
he'd made a sale, then I asked
<Magus> "I just got out of prison 2 weeks ago for credit card
fraud, will that hurt anything?"
<Magus> *click*
#39816 [ + | - ] 125
<Froggy> back in high school, football was only good for one
thing, helping me try to get with Band chicks
<Froggy> I failed.
#39808 [ + | - ] 391
<Kerf> had an argument with a friend over whether or not l33t
stuff would count in scrabble..then i reminded him that there
are no numbers in scrabble
#39807 [ + | - ] 83
<CPUkid> holy shit...8.25gb
<MacGunner> what your game folder?
<CPUkid> No all my porn, the special kind.
<MacGunner> wtf, gay porn?
<CPUkid> yeppers =/
#39803 [ + | - ] 1236
(Sinada): you need to shut the fuck up. no one will flame you
if don't say stupid shit. everyone says 'word'...so don't say
'thats my word!', however no one says twat waffle, so never
say it again. Also: respect. respect those who deserve it and
realize your place. You're annoying, most people in the chan,
and those that are particularly respected, e.g. mods, voices,
etc. think of you as a social parasite. So shut the fuck up
and learn some goddam manners.
(robbie-a): holy shit
(robbie-a): im not fuckin readin all that
#39799 [ + | - ] 991
<PC_TRIVIA> TV/Movies: John Denver & George Burns appeared
together in what 1977 film
<PC_TRIVIA> Hint: ** ***!
<Asha`monk> oh god!
<PC_TRIVIA> Well done Asha`monkey! The answer was oh god!. You
got it in 6.64 seconds. You've moved up in rank!
<PC_TRIVIA> Asha`monk now has 51 points and is ranked 192nd of
391, behind Sop with 51.
<Asha`monkey> Hey, that wasn't my answer.
<Asha`monkey> I just saw a naked picture of my mom.
#39796 [ + | - ] 392
<Tip|3dpong> I watched Real Sex once
<Tip|3dpong> and these two hot lesbians were making out in a
tub
<Tip|3dpong> and I was fapping hardcore
<Tip|3dpong> I was like "YA YA YA!"
<Tip|3dpong> then they stood up and they both had huge penises
#39791 [ + | - ] 456
<Gau|Gone> bahaa
<Gau|Gone> i stroll into living room
<Gau|Gone> and my bro has a girl over
<Gau|Gone> so i'm like "hmmmm prolly should have put on pants
today!"
#39789 [ + | - ] 96
<faR_away-> my dad dont know how to use a cordless phone
<faR_away-> i hand him the fone saying its for you
<faR_away-> so it presses 'talk' because he thought it was off
<faR_away-> and im like.. why would I give u a phone saying
its for you and it being off
#39785 [ + | - ] 1020
<Haunter> Some ultra-Christian girl said "Jesus loves you" to
me today, and I said "Just me?"  She said, "No, he loves
everyone."  So I collapsed in fake tears and started wailing,
yelling "What kind of a healthy relationship is THAT supposed
to be?  I gave 15 years of my life to that man, and he's going
around loving EVERYONE?"
#39782 [ + | - ] 157
<Shosuro> and you'd think if some people are going to give
money as a present
<Shosuro> (now, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful)
<Shosuro> but they could at least keep it inline with
inflation
<Shosuro> instead of giving the same ammount for the last 10
years
<Shosuro> I mean, I know I could of bought a house with it
back in "the day", but this wouldn't get me a bar of chocolate
#39781 [ + | - ] 162
<@BillyTallent> Gosh. bash.org is awesome.
<Vicki_> is that a porn site?
#39772 [ + | - ] 213
<dustin> i just bought israel off ebay
#39756 [ + | - ] 31
<Apoc-chan> What the hell. I bail from one split server only
to get stuck on another.
<Apoc-chan> >.< Today is not my day
* Disconnected
#39750 [ + | - ] 164
<picklehammer> im nude right now
<xooz98> are you hammering your pickle?
<picklehammer> I was a while ago
<picklehammer> oh shir I got blood on my keyboard
#39741 [ + | - ] 50
<N|O_r0x0rs_my_b0x0rs> then you have to copy the file
'terraincd.dat' and the file blah balh to c: root or whatever
<N|O_r0x0rs_my_b0x0rs> whats that mean
<N|O_r0x0rs_my_b0x0rs> whats the hell is a root
#39736 [ + | - ] 209
<DMAUL-away> omg that sucked..never get horny while your on
the toilet..
<DMAUL-away> i got it up and got stuck in the toilet
<DMAUL-away> worst 20 minutes of my life
#39734 [ + | - ] 178
<frafra> Eny Hackers here? this is 100% important i really
need to talk to an proffesionel Hacker...
<frafra> police took me for i-net harrassment costed me 600
euro, i need to get thoose people's pc hacked.. destroyed (
the one that told police ofcuz )
<frafra> You're All underarest i got your Host , I'm from FBI
federal police department
#39722 [ + | - ] -51
(This was said after I quoted bash.org)
<Abyss> I hope these people stay on irc and never venture into
the real world
<Abyss> or we will all be in big trouble
#39716 [ + | - ] 257
<ESD-Wyrk> any good gaymes coming out soon?
<bb-w3rk> the new sims came out
<ESD-Wyrk> I have a hard enough time managing my own life
<ESD-Wyrk> plus I'd probably kill myself after watching my sim
get more action than me
#39711 [ + | - ] 298
« Matt » I made 10 bucks from a friend at work.
« Matt » "Go to the next girl going to change and ask to watch
her and I'll give you five bucks. Ten if she hits you."
« Matt » Me - "50 if she kicks me in the balls."
« Matt » "Deal"
#39706 [ + | - ] 201
<homerj> womyn butch dykes always bothered me
<homerj> if they hate men so much, why do they go to such
great lengths to be exactly like them?
<issuez> the only reason why they bother you is because they
get more pussy than you
#39702 [ + | - ] 170
* PuffinFreshWog munches on the contents of a huge viagra
bottle
<PuffinFreshWog> guess what
<HyperHorse> what?
<PuffinFreshWog> i'm not typing with my hands right now
<HyperHorse> whatwhatwhatwhat?
<PuffinFreshWog> :o)
<PuffinFreshWog> you don't want to know how i hold down shift
#39688 [ + | - ] 409
<Upth> transformers, as I understand it, was inspired by a guy
in a traffic jam going "hmm... if my car transformed into a
giant bipedal robot I wouldn't have to worry about this shit"
#39671 [ + | - ] 134
<dan-o2> fuck my mirror is messy
<KGB_ate_my_bread> maybe if you didn't jack off to yourself..
#39655 [ + | - ] 883
<Sharkey> Always had that trouble at libraries. "How much to
buy this book." "This is a library, not a bookstore."
"Alright, what happens if I lose it?" "You have to pay for
it." "Alright, I'd like to borrow this book. Oh! Where did it
go?"
#39654 [ + | - ] 506
<Khel> you know what rocks, when you have a headache, and you
start up icq, and that FUCKING FOGHORN blares in your face
<Khel> Honestly though, what sort of retard makes a program
that starts up by blaring a foghorn at you
<DeePer> the foghorn is a sign of like, bon voyuage isn't it?
<Khel> the foghorn is a sign of a big boat sailing through fog
#39647 [ + | - ] 1028
<JDigital> Hacking dates back to early Roman times. However,
back then there was very little to 'hack' - only stone
tablets.
<JDigital> People who would sneak in at night and change the
contents of a stone tablet by 'hacking' at it with a hammer
and chisel... hence the name, 'hacker'.
<JDigital> Those who did only damage were known as 'crackers',
since they'd just run in a smash the stone tablets.
#39646 [ + | - ] 131
<trog> jump onto my box and have a look at my ipac.conf
<trixBLUDGn> hmmm tech speak for a/s/l
#39635 [ + | - ] 809
<Jules--> i mainly listen to battle music
<Jules--> which is basically rappers
<Jules--> insulting each other and calling each other fags
<Jules--> its like irc set to a beat
#39620 [ + | - ] 680
* Takeshi doesn't get the obsession with all the digits of pi
<rabid_si> It's like Mersienne Primes.
<rabid_si> Mathematicians get off on big numbers.
<Takeshi> Oh, so it's mathsturbation?
#39617 [ + | - ] 212
<DocGonzo> it's a nice world where you can apply for a job and
send a resume without getting clothes on :)
#39613 [ + | - ] 146
<CrackPr0n-E> all of my g/f's(except one) were all legal
<CrackPr0n-E> so was everyone i've ever slept with
<CrackPr0n-E> you know what that means?
<wombat> Crack: you got your money's worth?
#39611 [ + | - ] 79
<Riles> ever walk by a play ground
<Riles> and think "singles bar"
#39609 [ + | - ] 157
<hYpOcRiTe> this conversation is weird, from sex to sleep
<razors_edge> kind of like every night for me
<hYpOcRiTe> me too, except without the sex :/
#39604 [ + | - ] 480
<Khamosis> I'm such a fucking retard sometimes...
<Khamosis> I took a shit, went to wipe, but for some reason I
grabbed the deodorant and smeared it all over my ass :
<Khamosis> uggg
<Khamosis> now I need new deodorant :(
<Khamosis> sometimes I'm so fucking out of it
<Khamosis> well... I guess its good that my ass smells fresh
#39596 [ + | - ] 2048
<@Theseus314> if I invite my girlfriend in here for a short
time will you guys behave yourself?
<Vetek> yes
*** FunG is now known as CaptainGapingAnus
*** poo_al[Away] is now known as i_want_to_fuck_thess_gf
*** IgWannA is now known as HotChickNeedSex
<@CaptainGapingAnus> we will behave
#39594 [ + | - ] 800
<AL9000> Hey, somebody try this, sit on your hands for a
really long time until you have no feeling in them at all,
then jack off, it's supposed to feel like you're getting a
handjob from somebody else
<Tip> I prefer sitting on my penis for like 5 minutes and then
jacking off, it feels like I'm giving someone else a handjob
#39588 [ + | - ] 115
<DarkSpork> and .rmi is a midi
<Wing_Zero> yes I see that now.  but why? hehe.  how many
fucking file extensions does a format need?
<Wing_Zero> sooner or later, mark my words, we're going to
start running out of nice three letter extensions
#39572 [ + | - ] 382
<detro> i dont remember my heart stopping though
<detro> and i dont remember the paddles shocking me
<revc> that's because you were dead
<detro> yea
<detro> i guess
<detro> next time i die i wanna be sober
#39571 [ + | - ] 134
<+dilema> that sucked
<@corr> what happened
<+dilema> I spilled coke all over my keyboard
<+dilema> so now i got sticky keys
<+dilema> NO... it's from the coke i swear
<@Lisa[NY]> uh huh
<@corr> haha
<creature> That's what they all say...
<+dilema> please when i am in pr0n mode I bust out the syran
wrap to protect my keys
<+dilema> i know better
#39567 [ + | - ] 284
<Haydn> i remember a bird got into our house, it flew into the
mirror, just befor it hit the mirror, it tried to dodge its
reflection
#39562 [ + | - ] 20
<+Vefantur> lots of .fi bans
<@Cuda> yeah, lots of dumbass finns

Cuda is Cuda@ui117i16hel.dial.kolumbus.fi * ...
Cuda End of /WHOIS list.
#39556 [ + | - ] 196
<sponge> windows needs a big red button that deletes windows
when you click it.. itll be temping to the morons
<sponge> and thus the internet will be left with all the smart
people
<sponge> and the newbie mac users
#39553 [ + | - ] 1234
<SirChris> After using Yahoo, google, ask.com, etc.. to no
avail, all I need to know is what currency uses £ as their
symbol. I need to convert £189.00 into english dollars.
#39539 [ + | - ] 422
<Bell> It's amazing how many kinds of crumbs you find when
cleaning your keyboard, I've found
<Bell> I even found a couple of dead ants.
<Bell> I'm assuming they perished while trying to retrieve
said crumbs.
#39533 [ + | - ] 181
<DarkYouth> When you read your emails more often than you
masturbate, you may need to rethink your approach to life I
guess.
<Fes2001> or you need to masturbate more :P
#39521 [ + | - ] 79
<Robby> i'm saving up to buy ut2003
<Vak> what? people still buy software?
#39515 [ + | - ] 185
<croich> what! how did u know?!
<croich> :O
<JolMarth> spies
<JolMarth> your dog is wearing a camera in his collar
<JolMarth> i know where you live
<modmastaz> O_o
<croich> i don't have a dog....
<JolMarth> whoops then it must be your mom :p
#39510 [ + | - ] 301
<Geno> What Brandon needs, is BATTLEFIELD 1942.
<Brandon64> Geno, I GOT IT!
<Geno> hooray!
<Brandon64> I bought it Thursday!  You wanna play?  Give me a
server
<Geno> 159.234.141.275 14567
<Brandon64> I'm just kidding, I didn't buy it.  And I probably
never will.  Hahahaha
<Geno> Once again you tear my heart in two.
<Brandon64> It's fun