hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#36848 [ + | - ] 56
<BTZ> I learned that you shouldn't drink and drive because you
might spill your drink.
#36842 [ + | - ] 306
<MSminion> /msg $*.net a/s/l
<MSminion> Let's see how many death threats I can get.
#36837 [ + | - ] 17
<Pi> I'm being a dick.  It's the only thing I can do well.
#36834 [ + | - ] -18
<ChuffyCow> "welcome to the vancouver snow boarding
championships. thousands of dollars are up for grabs"
<ChuffyCow> WHO CARES, IT'S CANUCK MONEY
#36833 [ + | - ] 143
<Matrix_McCloud> cant you just leave
<MidoriKid> Nope.  I have a four year contract.
<Oolong> you should get dishonorably discharged.
<Oolong> that way, you get to have anal sex, and leave
<Oolong> it's a win-win situation
#36829 [ + | - ] 278
<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have
gotten used to the sound of a zipper
#36828 [ + | - ] 631
<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a
skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has
flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt"
#36827 [ + | - ] 4
<Noztop> eastern european on women accents are better
<Noztop> plus they'd probably fuck you for a can of coke
#36816 [ + | - ] 350
<Anubis> i hate ppl that use my name and dont even know who or
what anubis is
<nyLar> I bet you don't even know.
<Anubis> ya i do
<nyLar> Who is he then?
*** Anubis has quit IRC
#36814 [ + | - ] 323
<sheik> your mom
<striderj> what
<sheik> yeah thats why i sucked your moms dick last night
<striderj> what, hahahahahahah
<sheik> wait no thats not what i meant
<striderj> sure
#36810 [ + | - ] 175
<lice> i swear
<lice> i hate ppl that promise work done without asking me
first
<Killeroy> that's called "managing"
#36805 [ + | - ] 195
<rancid> if i made my drive NTFS and it is going slow, does my
computer just need to get use to it?
#36803 [ + | - ] 196
<cwd> god damn i just farted HARD on my chair and it felt good
<HardCore> did it lift u off?
<cwd> yeah good thing i was wearing my seatbelt
#36802 [ + | - ] 981
<_Superfro> how long does a blister take to heal?
<minime--> super its in your best interest that you stop
masturbating
<Willacuz> you know you masterbate too much , when u see a
towel and u get horny
<minime--> you know you masturbate too much when the air
coming out of the a/c vent gives you a hardon
<Willacuz> i dont get that one?
<minime--> neither do I?
<_Superfro> you know you masturbate too much when you are
afraid to use a dirty sock
<aNuBiS-> you know you masturbate too much when all you guys
wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<Willacuz> aNuBiS- u know you masterbate too much when you
masterbate to us talking about when all you guys wanna talk
about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<aNuBiS-> Willacuz: dont make me take that one a step
further...
<aNuBiS-> ...cause that would require thinking, and Im too
busy masturbating
#36799 [ + | - ] 413
<AlephZaku> Eh, is Quake 3 any good
<Kurushimi> yes.
<Kurushimi> i play with myself
<Kurushimi> HEY WTF I NEVER SAID THAT
#36797 [ + | - ] 149
<psyk0mantis> ick . . . gotta reload windows ME on a comp i'm
fixing
<psyk0mantis> i'd rather jump into a bowl of tacks from a
diving board
#36792 [ + | - ] 257
<UmbraSG> Second, you are jealous of my 2" penis?
<Ibuki> wtf
<Ibuki> 2 inches is not a penis
<Ibuki> it's a large clit
#36791 [ + | - ] 35
<aidan> hmm
<aidan> does anyone know how to include html code inside a php
script?
#36787 [ + | - ] 133
<Entrope> !8ball would you please get your dick out of
Rossell's ass?
<ChanServ>  Entrope : No.
<Rossell> awww shit, he's gonna superglue it
<Rossell> Arg! Now we're gonna have to walk around like this
<DrMagus> lol
<Rossell> we're Siamese twins
<Rossell> ChanServ YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
#36785 [ + | - ] -23
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<Rossell1> damn, not as good a netsplit as I had hoped, :(
#36784 [ + | - ] 126
<bleepstreet> i have 2 dvd drives showing up in my computer
but i only have 1
<bleepstreet> how do i delete one of them?
<NE|Strand`WAGr> maybe it had babys?
<bleepstreet> then how do i abort teh baby?
<eyesore> coat hanger and draino
#36782 [ + | - ] 464
<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all
the people around the world who work in any form of customer
reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and
this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person
has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the
money in the pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so
people will never have to deal with completely retarded
customers again.
#36780 [ + | - ] 197
·Serfer· Let's not fight. Let's hug. For forty minutes. Nude.
·pHluid· 10 more minutes till I start my lunch break. Go ahead
and grease up.
·Serfer· Not enough time.
·pHluid· Must be a lot of you to grease.
#36775 [ + | - ] 15
<ThreeZee> woo
<ThreeZee> overcocked!
<ThreeZee> lol
<ThreeZee> CLOCk
<ThreeZee> my bad
<ThreeZee> hehe
#36774 [ + | - ] 84
*** Rimbaud sets mode: +v HerrZombie
<HerrZombie> yep
<HerrZombie> ty Rim
<HerrZombie> I didn't even have to ask
<HerrZombie> you're on the ball today ;)
<Rimbaud> I'm good like that.  People want me to + them, I
just go right ahead and do it.
<Rimbaud> A sort of + rape, if you will
#36771 [ + | - ] 204
<clay> ryan isnt here
<clay> im declaring marshall law
*** clay sets mode: -o clay
#36769 [ + | - ] 48
<UN-REAL> ihel leyha id use http mirc hahaha
<UN-REAL> like idd iwhe ni worked at the ama
<@EzyRider> we need an interpreter in here for UN-REAL..
<@EzyRider> fucked if i can follow half of what he says
<@[[x]]> LOL
<@Bloody_D_Death> LOL
#36768 [ + | - ] 263
<D> I've been blowing my nose on the leg of my pants for the
past few hours, and now my spoon just fell out of my bowl.
<D> It landed on a towel.
<Jens> ...
<D> I believe this to be God's way of saying "You fucking
dumbass."
<ZMan> D. Never reproduce.
#36760 [ + | - ] 245
<BenZor> ASIO hired my cat to spy on me, it goes in. it goes
out now it sits here watching me, im sure they bugged it and
they call it out every so often to change tapes :/
#36754 [ + | - ] 453
<BenZor> www.clitical.com
<w|zzy> better not be prono
<BenZor> helpful.
<BenZor> nah
<BenZor> sex lesson site
<w|zzy> ok
<w|zzy> don;t need them
<BenZor> yes u do u fucking virgin
<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man
#36747 [ + | - ] 943
<stupidMM> heh i admitted that freely at the pub once
<stupidMM> this chick came up to me and was like
<stupidMM> "so what do you do for fun?"
<stupidMM> and i was like
<stupidMM> "sit in a dark room and chat on irc at 3 in the
morning"
<stupidMM> she turned around and walked off
<stupidMM> and i was like . heh man i'm leet
#36744 [ + | - ] 157
<Enfilade> Being gay would be kind of cool. Maybe then I
wouldn't feel so guilty when looking at shemale porn
#36743 [ + | - ] 428
<dr_dna> no, i love animals - ive been a vulcan for 12 years
<jdk> don't you mean a vegan?
<dr_dna> what, with these ears?
#36737 [ + | - ] 192
<Althorrat> Sean and Dan provided communion wafers as
refreshments. They got them surplus off eBay.
<Althorrat> mmm... surplus Christ.
<Asshead9000> heh. were they the good ones or the papery ones?
<Althorrat> to be honest, I didn't try them.
<Asshead9000> who won the debate?
<Althorrat> (considers saying, "Jesus always leaves a bad
taste in my mouth", but doesn't)
#36736 [ + | - ] 96
<kitteh> new vanilla cock
<kitteh> cock!@?!@
<`e|mmaS> BAHAHHA
<kitteh> COKE
#36734 [ + | - ] 519
<smileygirl> you say
<^haploid^> Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very
close to composing complete sentences. I applaud you.
#36732 [ + | - ] 233
<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a
lesbian pornstar most of the time
#36731 [ + | - ] 161
<C4ndl3s> I'm Back
<DirtyMexican> oh god no!
<DirtyMexican> bye
* Quits: DirtyMexican
(DirtyMexic@CPE-144-132-225-105.nsw.bigpond.net.au) (Quit: )
<BenZor> rofl
<BenZor> i needed to talk to him too, thanks C4ndl3s
#36725 [ + | - ] 370
<Aidan> If you found out a commet was about to strike Earth
and you had five minutes to live, what you would do?
<Alsander> You mean, who would I rape
#36723 [ + | - ] 402
<carrot_> blast
<S|eeper> blast???
<carrot_> tis my non swear word swear word
<Audio> Mine is blowfish
<S|eeper> mine is fuck
<S|eeper> oh wait
#36722 [ + | - ] 167
<NickBlasta> i just pwned a fly with a quarter
<rzrshrp> real blastas use their hands
<NickBlasta> i have evolved to use tools of pwnage
<rzrshrp> ...a quarter
<rzrshrp> it's a fucking quarter
<NickBlasta> deadly in the right hands
<rzrshrp> lol, fool
#36721 [ + | - ] 320
<skyy> how often does the average 20 year old think of
suicide?
<Kueller> every 6.7 hours?
<[H]Scope-Laptop> everytime he gets killed by a camper
#36720 [ + | - ] 9
<AimBot|Sleep> guys this is insane
<AimBot|Sleep> i have spent 14 hours on one drawing
<rambo> what is it a drawing of?
<AimBot|Sleep> a hallway
<AimBot|Sleep> booooooooooooring
<AimBot|Sleep> 14 mouther fucking hours
<rambo> why does it take you 14 hours to draw a drawing of a
hallway?
<Captain_Ron> thats more time than ive spent drawing my entire
life
#36719 [ + | - ] 226
* Topic is '<Tackmer> this is the dirty bisexuals zone'
<JonnYNug> Dirty Bixexuals Zone
<JonnYNug> Whoa i'm out'a here,, tnx for putting that in the
topic,,
* JonnYNug
(Jackllee@adsl-216-103-212-28.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net) has left
#DBZ
#36718 [ + | - ] 64
* ChanServ sets mode: +v Desi_pants
<+Desi_pants> what?
<+Desi_pants> WHY DID I GET +VD? I DIDNT SIGN IN!
<*megan_nosebleed> you should do that
<+Desi_pants> oh! megan's here! haha hi megan.
<*megan_nosebleed> you got it from me
#36714 [ + | - ] 322
<krazegurl> fuck
<krazegurl> i smell like cock
<krazegurl> i didnt wash my face well enough or it went up my
nose
#36713 [ + | - ] 66
<nice_sheep_molester> the united negro college fund: helping
youth avoid being on a fox tv show on saturday nights for 25
years
#36712 [ + | - ] 95
*** Soze-AWAY is now known as Soze
* Soze is back -( Doin' stuff. )- gone 2 hr 46 min 26 s
<Al_Koholic> Jesus
<Al_Koholic> that was a long masturbation session
<Soze> It's fucking raw... luckily, the blood can be used as
lube.
#36711 [ + | - ] 39
<Chucklez> we use to stick icecream down our pants =P course
it was melted by the time you got outside and far enough away
so they didnt see you eating it :/
<moo_nv> ewww
<Asmodeus-AFK> I didn't want to know that
<moo_nv> yeah :(
#36707 [ + | - ] 115
*** Aplo (bos21@ppp212-134.access.bryansk.ru) has joined #c++
<Aplo> !list
<Hexley> Aplo: Please type "no warez here toidinamai" (without
quotes).
<Aplo> no warez here toidinamai
<Hexley> Aplo: Thanks for Playing. Now read what you said
(last word reversed)... ;)
<IRoC> lol
<TelimTor> lol
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