hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#36747 [ + | - ] 930
<stupidMM> heh i admitted that freely at the pub once
<stupidMM> this chick came up to me and was like
<stupidMM> "so what do you do for fun?"
<stupidMM> and i was like
<stupidMM> "sit in a dark room and chat on irc at 3 in the
morning"
<stupidMM> she turned around and walked off
<stupidMM> and i was like . heh man i'm leet
#36744 [ + | - ] 154
<Enfilade> Being gay would be kind of cool. Maybe then I
wouldn't feel so guilty when looking at shemale porn
#36743 [ + | - ] 431
<dr_dna> no, i love animals - ive been a vulcan for 12 years
<jdk> don't you mean a vegan?
<dr_dna> what, with these ears?
#36737 [ + | - ] 186
<Althorrat> Sean and Dan provided communion wafers as
refreshments. They got them surplus off eBay.
<Althorrat> mmm... surplus Christ.
<Asshead9000> heh. were they the good ones or the papery ones?
<Althorrat> to be honest, I didn't try them.
<Asshead9000> who won the debate?
<Althorrat> (considers saying, "Jesus always leaves a bad
taste in my mouth", but doesn't)
#36736 [ + | - ] 116
<kitteh> new vanilla cock
<kitteh> cock!@?!@
<`e|mmaS> BAHAHHA
<kitteh> COKE
#36734 [ + | - ] 523
<smileygirl> you say
<^haploid^> Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very
close to composing complete sentences. I applaud you.
#36732 [ + | - ] 240
<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a
lesbian pornstar most of the time
#36731 [ + | - ] 170
<C4ndl3s> I'm Back
<DirtyMexican> oh god no!
<DirtyMexican> bye
* Quits: DirtyMexican
(DirtyMexic@CPE-144-132-225-105.nsw.bigpond.net.au) (Quit: )
<BenZor> rofl
<BenZor> i needed to talk to him too, thanks C4ndl3s
#36725 [ + | - ] 376
<Aidan> If you found out a commet was about to strike Earth
and you had five minutes to live, what you would do?
<Alsander> You mean, who would I rape
#36723 [ + | - ] 410
<carrot_> blast
<S|eeper> blast???
<carrot_> tis my non swear word swear word
<Audio> Mine is blowfish
<S|eeper> mine is fuck
<S|eeper> oh wait
#36722 [ + | - ] 174
<NickBlasta> i just pwned a fly with a quarter
<rzrshrp> real blastas use their hands
<NickBlasta> i have evolved to use tools of pwnage
<rzrshrp> ...a quarter
<rzrshrp> it's a fucking quarter
<NickBlasta> deadly in the right hands
<rzrshrp> lol, fool
#36721 [ + | - ] 325
<skyy> how often does the average 20 year old think of
suicide?
<Kueller> every 6.7 hours?
<[H]Scope-Laptop> everytime he gets killed by a camper
#36720 [ + | - ] 18
<AimBot|Sleep> guys this is insane
<AimBot|Sleep> i have spent 14 hours on one drawing
<rambo> what is it a drawing of?
<AimBot|Sleep> a hallway
<AimBot|Sleep> booooooooooooring
<AimBot|Sleep> 14 mouther fucking hours
<rambo> why does it take you 14 hours to draw a drawing of a
hallway?
<Captain_Ron> thats more time than ive spent drawing my entire
life
#36719 [ + | - ] 227
* Topic is '<Tackmer> this is the dirty bisexuals zone'
<JonnYNug> Dirty Bixexuals Zone
<JonnYNug> Whoa i'm out'a here,, tnx for putting that in the
topic,,
* JonnYNug
(Jackllee@adsl-216-103-212-28.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net) has left
#DBZ
#36718 [ + | - ] 33
* ChanServ sets mode: +v Desi_pants
<+Desi_pants> what?
<+Desi_pants> WHY DID I GET +VD? I DIDNT SIGN IN!
<*megan_nosebleed> you should do that
<+Desi_pants> oh! megan's here! haha hi megan.
<*megan_nosebleed> you got it from me
#36714 [ + | - ] 327
<krazegurl> fuck
<krazegurl> i smell like cock
<krazegurl> i didnt wash my face well enough or it went up my
nose
#36713 [ + | - ] 62
<nice_sheep_molester> the united negro college fund: helping
youth avoid being on a fox tv show on saturday nights for 25
years
#36712 [ + | - ] 77
*** Soze-AWAY is now known as Soze
* Soze is back -( Doin' stuff. )- gone 2 hr 46 min 26 s
<Al_Koholic> Jesus
<Al_Koholic> that was a long masturbation session
<Soze> It's fucking raw... luckily, the blood can be used as
lube.
#36711 [ + | - ] 29
<Chucklez> we use to stick icecream down our pants =P course
it was melted by the time you got outside and far enough away
so they didnt see you eating it :/
<moo_nv> ewww
<Asmodeus-AFK> I didn't want to know that
<moo_nv> yeah :(
#36707 [ + | - ] 104
*** Aplo (bos21@ppp212-134.access.bryansk.ru) has joined #c++
<Aplo> !list
<Hexley> Aplo: Please type "no warez here toidinamai" (without
quotes).
<Aplo> no warez here toidinamai
<Hexley> Aplo: Thanks for Playing. Now read what you said
(last word reversed)... ;)
<IRoC> lol
<TelimTor> lol
*** Aplo (bos21@ppp212-134.access.bryansk.ru) has left #c++
#36704 [ + | - ] 534
<Moonpie> Dude
<Moonpie> Don't ever put deodorant on your crotch and try to
lick it off.
<Moose[DWI]> ...
<Moose[DWI]> OK THEN
#36702 [ + | - ] 736
<copernicu> what are bad noises for hard drives to make?
* copernicu has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by
peer))
#36700 [ + | - ] 120
<Christy> People who talk in metaphors outta shampoo my
crotch.
<FL3A|afk> people who shampoo crotches outta shave
#36699 [ + | - ] 838
<CptPlanet> wtf? i can't find any lobster fetish sites out
there.
<CptPlanet> and you call yourself an internet.
#36695 [ + | - ] 316
<pip> what does the +iz mean by my name?
<MrFalcon> it means you can /disco
<-- pip has quit (Quit: Disconnecting)
#36690 [ + | - ] 504
<blie> i need a new girlfriend
<blie> mine sucks
<kelseyB> yours sucks?
<kelseyB> ill take her
#36688 [ + | - ] 831
<Gus_Hobbleton> ok, there's a class full of retard kids...
<Gus_Hobbleton> and for some reason or another, they're
learning about beds
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes up to one kid, points at a bed,
and says "what kind of bed is that?"
<Gus_Hobbleton> kid says "qyeen sized bed!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher says "good little retard!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes to the next kid, says "what kind
of bed is that?"
<Gus_Hobbleton> kid says "its a king sized bed!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher says "good little retard!!"
<Spork> ...
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes to the next kid, and points at
one of those beds...
<Gus_Hobbleton> you know, the kind with one on top of the
other...
<Gus_Hobbleton> umm....
<Spork> bunk beds?
<Gus_Hobbleton> GOOD LITTLE RETARD!!!
#36685 [ + | - ] 264
<becky> 18 f* Pic on Profile
<kari> hey becky?.. what does * mean?
<martha> kari, it means she hasnt completed her operation yet
#36684 [ + | - ] 228
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy>no, see, do a threesome 2guys/1girl... so
you have the bigger dick (gotta take a chance) and she'll
ignore him.. so you can do his boyfriend with him watching :)
<Claus> woah there G!
<Isajeep> rofl
<Claus> "so you can do his boyfriend with him watching"
<Isajeep> I don't call him Gay-Daddy for nothing
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> er.. her her her
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> jesus... what am I thinking
#36682 [ + | - ] 343
« INH- » hey!
« INH- » you know what i hate?
« INH- » when people pussy out of arguments by using "its my
opinion"
« INH- » if its your opinion, shut the fuck up and keep it to
yourself, bitch!
« INH- » ...
« INH- » ritalin soon.
#36677 [ + | - ] 408
<+Onima> ioops
<@kal-el> iOops?
<@kal-el> heh
<+Onima> oops
<@kal-el> thats the new mac error system :P
<+Onima> lol
#36676 [ + | - ] 329
<atomicbanana> Realtor came today.
<martha> did you get any on you?
<atomicbanana> no. I had a cumbrella
#36675 [ + | - ] 1252
<synthie> one of my cats was licking her butt like cats do...
<synthie> farted in her own face and fell off the bed
<Sheri> thats why i hate animals
<synthie> knocked herself out
#36673 [ + | - ] 807
<Kaz|Work> holy fucking shit
<Kaz|Work> im out of a job
<Kaz|Work> the place blew up
<@Zoot> better change your nick then.
#36672 [ + | - ] 977
<Ramza> well how come it's down for me?
<Ramza> and don't say because of windows
<Cyan683> Does it give an error, or does it say "Unknown
Host"?
<Ramza> yes
<Cyan683> .....
<Cyan683> YES IS NOT AN ANSWER TO "A OR B?"
* Cyan683 sets mode: +i
* Ramza was kicked by Cyan683 (Wham!    --  Kibou to Hikari no
script)
* Cyan683 sets mode: -i
* Ramza (spoon@anandtech.com) has joined #starmen
<Ramza> no?
#36670 [ + | - ] 126
Dribblee: how many coursees yo udoing?
Dominion: 5 or 6...I forget
Dominion: 2+1+1+1+1
#36669 [ + | - ] 628
<HoaX> did you get your ticket?
<FLB> No :(
<FLB> My dad got home to late.
<FLB> I will get it tommorow *he* says
<HoaX> mmhmmm
<FLB> He's kinda unreliable.
<FLB> Been smoking pot so long.
<HoaX> like your soldier in bed?
<FLB> Pardon me?
<FLB> Did you just comment on my sexual performance?
<HoaX> no... never
<HoaX> i wasnt so asleep during that camping trip
<FLB> That's what I thought.
<FLB> I jizzed in your water bottle.
<HoaX> it happens
<FLB> Yeah.
<FLB> Sorry about that.
<HoaX> no hard feelings
<FLB> It was there, and I didn't want to disrupt nature with
my man seed.
<HoaX> but... why was it green and orange?
<FLB> I have issues.
<Peloquin> hahaha
<FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in my nuts.
* Peloquin changes topic to 'http://www.matazone.co.uk/
kitty2.htm | <FLB> I have issues. <FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in
my nuts.'
<FLB> Would you jizz in her face? Would you jizz on her lace?
Would you jizz here or there, would you jizz anywhere? Would
you jizz FLB, would you jizz, jizz on me?
<Syfoon> You both need to see a doctor... a head doctor
<Peloquin> haha
* Peloquin makes it clear that he had no part in the
conversation
#36664 [ + | - ] 201
* Topic is 'Download help NOT available here.'
* eats (Skuller@h24-69-27-242.gv.shawcable.net) has joined #
new2mIRC
<eats> i need to get a trial version of maya 3d software. were
in this program can i go to look this up?
<@corm> www.download.com
<eats> not that comon
<@corm> oh
<@corm> you mean on mirc
<eats> yes sir/mame
<@corm> push Ctrl and F4 at the same time, it opens the file
search dialog
* eats (Skuller@h24-69-27-242.gv.shawcable.net) has left #
New2mIRC
<@corm> snicker
#36661 [ + | - ] 231
<Dulan> And if anyone here doesn't know what bukkake is....ask
Unifex to explain it. :P
<unifex> It's a kind of pastry, obviously.
<unifex> From Sweden.
<unifex> Not alot of people like that pastry though.
<unifex> People get so messy when eating it, too.
#36658 [ + | - ] 752
<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this
guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned.
#36648 [ + | - ] 412
·cronO· !8ball why is  darklyte  gay?
·Darklyte· cronO, You answer can only be found within
yourself.
·cronO· aw
iggz  haha
iggz  fag!
#36646 [ + | - ] 584
<punchcard> you know you're a geek when you read the headline
"Bush won't order ports reopened" and think they are talking
about a firewall
<punchcard> "By order of the President of the United States of
America, -A input -p boats -l -j reject."
#36645 [ + | - ] 535
<jay\> the cock from burger king tastes better, dunno why tho
:|
<jay\> coke
<jay\> ffs
#36643 [ + | - ] 170
[18:17] * +SoberGuy smacks dalnet
[18:17] <+SoberGuy> stay together u humpty dumpty of networks
#36641 [ + | - ] 305
<MacGunner> were learning about the holocust for the 100th
time, so my history teacher, takes us all and makes us stand
in the corner to make it feel like a train car
<MacGunner> ANND
<MacGunner> since its suppose to smell bad he got some pizza
spices from his kitchen and made us smell them
<Arkangel> that's ok in my computer graphics design class the
teacher was teaching us about how to use symbol brushes so he
got all the hot chicks in class to take off their clothes and
kneel by the wall then he jacked off on them. man I tell
you... it was pretty gay.
<MacGunner>...
#36640 [ + | - ] 333
<iggz[work]> Indeed.
<iggz[work]> mav you might like this
<iggz[work]> http://sexyclube.uol.com.br/premium/galeria/
edicao260/modelo01_foto01.jpg?modelo01_foto22.jpg
<iggz[work]> http://asia.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/09/20/
offbeat.sharks.virginbirth.reut/
<iggz[work]> no
<iggz[work]> fuck
<iggz[work]> not that
<iggz[work]> the second one
<iggz[work]> anyone who says anything dies
#36636 [ + | - ] 158
<Casper> Thursday I think I may steal the camaro and go get my
haircut.
<Phucker> Is it a mullet?
<Casper> My brother's camaro is awesome.
<Phucker> For a second there I thought 'camaro' said 'mullet'
<Phucker> I don't think the two terms can be seperated
#36635 [ + | - ] 61
<Inferi0r> sean, hrm, i cant buy "getting laid" on ebay
<Sean> "your search for 'getting laid' returned 0 results,
please check later
#36633 [ + | - ] 292
<@PrincessEvil2> <high school student> omg cleavage! i have
never seen that before! usually the porn on my computer has
chicks completely naked
<@Vekt0r-X> guess what i got in my hand right now?
<@PrincessEvil2> dont ask that right after i mention porn
#36628 [ + | - ] 9
<[C-22]Octal> one word duck tape!
<[C-22]Octal> well 2