hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#36704 [ + | - ] 528
<Moonpie> Dude
<Moonpie> Don't ever put deodorant on your crotch and try to
lick it off.
<Moose[DWI]> ...
<Moose[DWI]> OK THEN
#36702 [ + | - ] 720
<copernicu> what are bad noises for hard drives to make?
* copernicu has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by
peer))
#36700 [ + | - ] 129
<Christy> People who talk in metaphors outta shampoo my
crotch.
<FL3A|afk> people who shampoo crotches outta shave
#36699 [ + | - ] 831
<CptPlanet> wtf? i can't find any lobster fetish sites out
there.
<CptPlanet> and you call yourself an internet.
#36695 [ + | - ] 308
<pip> what does the +iz mean by my name?
<MrFalcon> it means you can /disco
<-- pip has quit (Quit: Disconnecting)
#36690 [ + | - ] 500
<blie> i need a new girlfriend
<blie> mine sucks
<kelseyB> yours sucks?
<kelseyB> ill take her
#36688 [ + | - ] 827
<Gus_Hobbleton> ok, there's a class full of retard kids...
<Gus_Hobbleton> and for some reason or another, they're
learning about beds
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes up to one kid, points at a bed,
and says "what kind of bed is that?"
<Gus_Hobbleton> kid says "qyeen sized bed!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher says "good little retard!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes to the next kid, says "what kind
of bed is that?"
<Gus_Hobbleton> kid says "its a king sized bed!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher says "good little retard!!"
<Spork> ...
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes to the next kid, and points at
one of those beds...
<Gus_Hobbleton> you know, the kind with one on top of the
other...
<Gus_Hobbleton> umm....
<Spork> bunk beds?
<Gus_Hobbleton> GOOD LITTLE RETARD!!!
#36685 [ + | - ] 257
<becky> 18 f* Pic on Profile
<kari> hey becky?.. what does * mean?
<martha> kari, it means she hasnt completed her operation yet
#36684 [ + | - ] 222
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy>no, see, do a threesome 2guys/1girl... so
you have the bigger dick (gotta take a chance) and she'll
ignore him.. so you can do his boyfriend with him watching :)
<Claus> woah there G!
<Isajeep> rofl
<Claus> "so you can do his boyfriend with him watching"
<Isajeep> I don't call him Gay-Daddy for nothing
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> er.. her her her
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> jesus... what am I thinking
#36682 [ + | - ] 334
« INH- » hey!
« INH- » you know what i hate?
« INH- » when people pussy out of arguments by using "its my
opinion"
« INH- » if its your opinion, shut the fuck up and keep it to
yourself, bitch!
« INH- » ...
« INH- » ritalin soon.
#36677 [ + | - ] 403
<+Onima> ioops
<@kal-el> iOops?
<@kal-el> heh
<+Onima> oops
<@kal-el> thats the new mac error system :P
<+Onima> lol
#36676 [ + | - ] 326
<atomicbanana> Realtor came today.
<martha> did you get any on you?
<atomicbanana> no. I had a cumbrella
#36675 [ + | - ] 1276
<synthie> one of my cats was licking her butt like cats do...
<synthie> farted in her own face and fell off the bed
<Sheri> thats why i hate animals
<synthie> knocked herself out
#36673 [ + | - ] 798
<Kaz|Work> holy fucking shit
<Kaz|Work> im out of a job
<Kaz|Work> the place blew up
<@Zoot> better change your nick then.
#36672 [ + | - ] 986
<Ramza> well how come it's down for me?
<Ramza> and don't say because of windows
<Cyan683> Does it give an error, or does it say "Unknown
Host"?
<Ramza> yes
<Cyan683> .....
<Cyan683> YES IS NOT AN ANSWER TO "A OR B?"
* Cyan683 sets mode: +i
* Ramza was kicked by Cyan683 (Wham!    --  Kibou to Hikari no
script)
* Cyan683 sets mode: -i
* Ramza (spoon@anandtech.com) has joined #starmen
<Ramza> no?
#36670 [ + | - ] 114
Dribblee: how many coursees yo udoing?
Dominion: 5 or 6...I forget
Dominion: 2+1+1+1+1
#36669 [ + | - ] 633
<HoaX> did you get your ticket?
<FLB> No :(
<FLB> My dad got home to late.
<FLB> I will get it tommorow *he* says
<HoaX> mmhmmm
<FLB> He's kinda unreliable.
<FLB> Been smoking pot so long.
<HoaX> like your soldier in bed?
<FLB> Pardon me?
<FLB> Did you just comment on my sexual performance?
<HoaX> no... never
<HoaX> i wasnt so asleep during that camping trip
<FLB> That's what I thought.
<FLB> I jizzed in your water bottle.
<HoaX> it happens
<FLB> Yeah.
<FLB> Sorry about that.
<HoaX> no hard feelings
<FLB> It was there, and I didn't want to disrupt nature with
my man seed.
<HoaX> but... why was it green and orange?
<FLB> I have issues.
<Peloquin> hahaha
<FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in my nuts.
* Peloquin changes topic to 'http://www.matazone.co.uk/
kitty2.htm | <FLB> I have issues. <FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in
my nuts.'
<FLB> Would you jizz in her face? Would you jizz on her lace?
Would you jizz here or there, would you jizz anywhere? Would
you jizz FLB, would you jizz, jizz on me?
<Syfoon> You both need to see a doctor... a head doctor
<Peloquin> haha
* Peloquin makes it clear that he had no part in the
conversation
#36664 [ + | - ] 213
* Topic is 'Download help NOT available here.'
* eats (Skuller@h24-69-27-242.gv.shawcable.net) has joined #
new2mIRC
<eats> i need to get a trial version of maya 3d software. were
in this program can i go to look this up?
<@corm> www.download.com
<eats> not that comon
<@corm> oh
<@corm> you mean on mirc
<eats> yes sir/mame
<@corm> push Ctrl and F4 at the same time, it opens the file
search dialog
* eats (Skuller@h24-69-27-242.gv.shawcable.net) has left #
New2mIRC
<@corm> snicker
#36661 [ + | - ] 233
<Dulan> And if anyone here doesn't know what bukkake is....ask
Unifex to explain it. :P
<unifex> It's a kind of pastry, obviously.
<unifex> From Sweden.
<unifex> Not alot of people like that pastry though.
<unifex> People get so messy when eating it, too.
#36658 [ + | - ] 750
<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this
guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned.
#36648 [ + | - ] 410
·cronO· !8ball why is  darklyte  gay?
·Darklyte· cronO, You answer can only be found within
yourself.
·cronO· aw
iggz  haha
iggz  fag!
#36646 [ + | - ] 575
<punchcard> you know you're a geek when you read the headline
"Bush won't order ports reopened" and think they are talking
about a firewall
<punchcard> "By order of the President of the United States of
America, -A input -p boats -l -j reject."
#36645 [ + | - ] 533
<jay\> the cock from burger king tastes better, dunno why tho
:|
<jay\> coke
<jay\> ffs
#36643 [ + | - ] 167
[18:17] * +SoberGuy smacks dalnet
[18:17] <+SoberGuy> stay together u humpty dumpty of networks
#36641 [ + | - ] 301
<MacGunner> were learning about the holocust for the 100th
time, so my history teacher, takes us all and makes us stand
in the corner to make it feel like a train car
<MacGunner> ANND
<MacGunner> since its suppose to smell bad he got some pizza
spices from his kitchen and made us smell them
<Arkangel> that's ok in my computer graphics design class the
teacher was teaching us about how to use symbol brushes so he
got all the hot chicks in class to take off their clothes and
kneel by the wall then he jacked off on them. man I tell
you... it was pretty gay.
<MacGunner>...
#36640 [ + | - ] 329
<iggz[work]> Indeed.
<iggz[work]> mav you might like this
<iggz[work]> http://sexyclube.uol.com.br/premium/galeria/
edicao260/modelo01_foto01.jpg?modelo01_foto22.jpg
<iggz[work]> http://asia.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/09/20/
offbeat.sharks.virginbirth.reut/
<iggz[work]> no
<iggz[work]> fuck
<iggz[work]> not that
<iggz[work]> the second one
<iggz[work]> anyone who says anything dies
#36636 [ + | - ] 154
<Casper> Thursday I think I may steal the camaro and go get my
haircut.
<Phucker> Is it a mullet?
<Casper> My brother's camaro is awesome.
<Phucker> For a second there I thought 'camaro' said 'mullet'
<Phucker> I don't think the two terms can be seperated
#36635 [ + | - ] 13
<Inferi0r> sean, hrm, i cant buy "getting laid" on ebay
<Sean> "your search for 'getting laid' returned 0 results,
please check later
#36633 [ + | - ] 282
<@PrincessEvil2> <high school student> omg cleavage! i have
never seen that before! usually the porn on my computer has
chicks completely naked
<@Vekt0r-X> guess what i got in my hand right now?
<@PrincessEvil2> dont ask that right after i mention porn
#36628 [ + | - ] 31
<[C-22]Octal> one word duck tape!
<[C-22]Octal> well 2
#36627 [ + | - ] 362
<+RushMore> got shouted at today... too hairy
<@chikster> no beards at school?
<+RushMore> no beards
<@chikster> gayness to the extreme
<+RushMore> This is a catholic grammar school
<+RushMore> run by nuns
<+RushMore> arent allowed long hair either
<@chikster> a catholic school what the fuck? jesus had a beard
why cant you
<@chikster> he had long hair too
<@chikster> thats stupid as hell if jesus can you can i say
#36623 [ + | - ] 521
<jessepence> :-d
<jessepence> look I can lick my nose
#36622 [ + | - ] -72
<+timmo> i uploaded 146mb yesterday
<+RushMore> i have downloaded 1,174.19mb in 1day 4hours
<+Kuro_> that's 1.68kbps, timmo
<+Kuro_> for 24 hours
<+Kuro_> not too fast, but persistent like a nigger trying to
get out of a well
#36621 [ + | - ] 65
<m2-Cruiser> i gotta big fat dick for your mother fuckin mouth
<asmodius> :x
<m2-Cruiser> :o
<asmodius> :x
<moof> like this one? www.tnww.net/it/dick.jpg
<m2-Cruiser> not a valid url
<asmodius> omg you clicked on it
<moof> wtf you sick fuck.. you wanna see dick?
<asmodius> feg
<asmodius> :(
#36619 [ + | - ] 224
<daenonon^II> lol
<daenonon^II> i got pr0n downloading on limewire when this pop
up ad comes up
<daenonon^II> about some kind of pyramid scam
<daenonon^II> and somehow the search results window of
limewire didn't get covered by the testimonials of the pop up
<daenonon^II> "as a single mom, i like how hardcore fucking
gets xtreme!!"
#36615 [ + | - ] 251
<Auz> try my new script trigger !donothing
<AC|Malaki> lol
<AC|Malaki> !donothing
<Guildenstern> hehe
<AC|Malaki> ..
<AC|Malaki> hrm
<Guildenstern> hehehee
<beans> dumbass
<AC|Malaki> it not working..
<AC|Malaki> OI!
<AC|Malaki> git!
<AC|Malaki> =(
<beans> LOL
<beans> QUOTE!
#36613 [ + | - ] 304
<Ishtardances> See why dont guys have to prove they are "male"
on the internet?
<Slapahoewitapaperbag> because guys dominate the chatrooms
<Ishtardances> oh....I just figured they would be intimidated
by my large cock.
<slapahoewitapaperbag>...you are that same girl I just cybered
with right?
#36611 [ + | - ] 540
<dolbe> blll you really are such a loser
<blll> dolbe, that's like a quadrapelegic telling me I walk
funny
#36608 [ + | - ] 163
<NapkinEater> I hate when I forget what I was going to do in
the time it takes me to move my mouse and click on the IE
button.
<Soundwave> same
<NapkinEater> if I was home, I'd just settle for google'ing "
<ACTRESS NAME> nude"
<NapkinEater> work sucks
#36602 [ + | - ] 171
<Lilmuckers> ever had a wank in school where it hits the
blackboard?
<ibor132> i hate those
#36599 [ + | - ] 236
<Abbadaba> Client just came and filled out our forms before
her appointment.
<Abbadaba> Was looking them over to make sure she filled in
everything properly.
<Abbadaba> Reason for visit: "I think I'm going nuts."
<Abbadaba> Occupation: "Postal Service."
#36594 [ + | - ] 80
(TheOne) I wanna help at #nohacks
(@Matt) take the test, answer one question and you can get in
(@Matt) echo the time in red
(TheOne) .//echo -a $chr(3) $+ 4 $time
(TheOne) omg, so hard, i had to look at the help files </sarc>
(@Matt) its wrong
(TheOne) i think you will find its right
(@Matt) NO .. I R LEET SCRIPTER NOOB .. I WOULD KNOW
(@Matt) -noob
#36591 [ + | - ] 29
<CrdStang> the only good thing the french ever did was two
chicks at one time
<pagan> true dat CrdStang
#36589 [ + | - ] 669
<monoxyde`> damn, irc is full of idiots
<toothpik> whos irc?
#36588 [ + | - ] 332
<Boogaleeboo> You can't rape inanimate objects
<Boogaleeboo> like I can't go "I'm fucking rapping this water
bottle!"
<Boogaleeboo> Or "Mmmmm, you fucking bitch you don't want my
cock, do you sports radio?"
<Boogaleeboo> Doesn't work
#36587 [ + | - ] 157
[@agg]: fs
[@agg]: i was trying to turn on my stereo
[@agg]: for about 5 mins
[@agg]: with my tv remote
#36584 [ + | - ] 22
<RexExitium> "I miss you, Luke."
<RexExitium> "I miss you too, Amidala."
<Tenek> luke?
<LordChaos-AFK> lol
<Relnereth> Luke and amidala?
<RexExitium> "I love you very much, Amidala. I cannot live
without you. Not one second. Not one second."
<Tenek> Anakin, Rex.
<Sir_silver> HOO HA
<Relnereth> incest!!
<RexExitium> "I feel the same way about you, Anakin."
<RexExitium> haha oops.
#36582 [ + | - ] -11
<NuttO> I feel bad whenever I run a search on my nick.
<NuttO> The fact that I feel bad that I'm not on a database of
IRC quotes makes me feel worse.
<NuttO> It's a downward spiral.
#36578 [ + | - ] 475
<bb> Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it
to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on
a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
#36576 [ + | - ] 55
<x-spirit> in an hour or so I am going offline for the evening
<T_B2k> k :(
<x-spirit> why that sad mouth mate ! =)
<T_B2k> because he's just had surgical facelifts & it's not
currently physically possible for him to smile :( (That was a
smile)