Hooka: I'm going to pee on you Ralphy_Fox: that'd be hot lemonlimeskull: Only for a while, then it'd cool off.
<StrangelyUnoriginal>So I was at Walmart, being the financial transaction overlord of register 21. Rite, and this kid walks up, I ring up his items and he says, "So I heard you like mudkips?" so I acted all confused like he expected me to andhe had a little faggoty giggle then he asked me what his total was and I said, "Your total, IT'S OVER NINE THOUSSSSSSAAAAND!" and my manager was like, "lol wtf?" then I grabbed the pricing scanner and crushed it in my hand.
<&Dynamic_Inc> ive decided to play a huge prctical joke on my friends <&Dynamic_Inc> ima slip 2 of them the date rape drug when they are REALLY drunk <&Dynamic_Inc> then with the help of my other friends, strip them naked, and put them in bed together, spooning <&Dynamic_Inc> beat one of them on the ass, so when they wake up its sore <&Dynamic_Inc> and smear some blood and poop on the sheets <&Dynamic_Inc> there gunna wake up and be like "O.O fuck." <&Dynamic_Inc> one of them will turn gay because of it <&Dynamic_Inc> and they will both act wiered for years <&Dynamic_Inc> then like 5 years down the road <&Dynamic_Inc> ill tell them the truth <&Dynamic_Inc> and then run like fuck <&Dynamic_Inc> its gunna be great <%Airegorne> can i help?
Jmack- i was dreaming of eating a marshmallow B-dawg- and what happened? Jmack- when i woke up b-dawg- then what Jmack- my pillow was gone...... b-dawg- ........wtf......
<jo> apparently, according to Josh, the Swiss-French border is at risk of being sucked in by a black hole <jo> they're experimenting with time/space stuff there <Lewin> haha <Lewin> try staying out of that one, switzerland
* Nanobot primarily uses a pi-based counting system <Nanobot> I know all of the digits in pi <Nanobot> It's 10
<nista> i was explaining to a claimant why a defendant was being sued <nista> i told him that the defendant violated a federal statute <nista> he said "VIOLATED A FEDERAL STATUE?!? WHICH ONE, THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL?!?"
<scott> Where were your born? <scott> homoland? <scott> Thats not even possible.
Lord Kagemaro: Want a PS3? IDLon2000: No Lord Kagemaro: :/ Lord Kagemaro: I'm bored with mine
<@Sadist> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/ Age_of_Consent.png <@Sadist> data for age of consent all around the world. <Dano> Is that in your bookmarks? <@Sadist> its my home page
bendingoutward: last night was so hardcore that i moshed with a guy in a wheelchair.
<Foamy> im a little teapot <Foamy> short and stout <Foamy> here is my handle * Trueborn has kicked Foamy from #totse (get the fuck out)
<Dack Falu> WTF, there are Bomberman fanfics <Dack Falu> Did that shit have a storyline? <Stultus> Someone's probably written a fanfic for Tetris <Saturn V> THE L BLOCK TAKES ME BY THE HAND AND PLUGNES ITSELF NEATLY INTO ME, FORMING A LINE <Saturn V> I MOAN BUT THEN PART OF ME VANISHES <Saturn V> FOREVER.
<Kkooly> rumick whyd you download the same episode 3 times <jkpolk> He probably has a triple monitor setup
<Drakkel> is it sad that I'm looking through national sex offender databases of areas where I live? <Lai> I would have tried the personals first, really.
<Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'. <Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with country music etc,etc. <Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in front of my car the other day, <Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons 'THRILLER' came on :S
<+Tigrael> you're a bash mod now? <%kastein> yup. <%spock1104> kastein: tell them to stop rejecting quotes that rock and accepting quotes that suck <%kastein> spock1104: hey <%kastein> them includes me now * %kastein goes back to being a nazi mod <%kastein> MUST THROW MORE QUOTES IN THE OVEN
<@blaxthos> one token to unite them <@kastein> murdrface: and in a ring bind them
<slashdotuser> I still think the only real way to communicate with outlying civilisations properly will be with supernovas. <slashdotuser> Though, only one message could be send - "Help our sun is blowing u^&"%£%^&!*(())[NO CARRIER]
<kidd79> do u know what i'd like they add to Google.Earth? <Don_Vito> ..3D graphics? <Don_Vito> animated water, trees and stuuf?? <kidd79> orbital ion cannon
<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that USE-flag and expect things to work. * ML-37 grins <Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler and saying "this is now a car, off we go".
rintin: so I fried my dads motherboard today rintin: apparently I wasn't grounded... rintin: now I am
Kris: Happy Pi Day! Dean: I don't celebrate pi day, but rather pi approximation day on july 22nd or 7/22
<crabcakedeathra> where were you earlier? <arkilla> work. <crabcakedeathra> where you work? <arkilla> GTE Visa. mail room clerk. <arkilla> had some trouble with this asshole sendin in coupons <arkilla> today he also sent in 33 motherfuggin' pennies <arkilla> my managr called to complain, after like an hour WE cut HIM a check for 33 cents <crabcakedeathra> that sounds damn familiar
<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear <raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked.
<Ki> HAHAHAHA I DID IT HAHAHA FUCKERS <Ki> I ASSEMBLED THE BED <Mellis> hmm? <Mellis> congratulations you're a level 2 Ikeamancer
<kikuichimonji> Okay, you know how in Revelation in the Bible it talks about how in the end times everyone will be marked with a number? <kikuichimonji> And how you will need that number to buy or sell anything? <kikuichimonji> I think that the Bible is refering to DRM. <kikuichimonji> Bill Gates is the antichrist, and Vista registration keys are the mark of the beast.
culturejammer: you know what pennies are AWESOME for? culturejammer: throwing at cats culturejammer: it only costs a single penny culturejammer: and they'll either chase it, or get hit by it and look pissed off culturejammer: i now use that system to value prices of things culturejammer: for example, a thirty dollar game has to be at least as awesome as three thousand catpennies
Matt: I reaaaaaaaaaaallly hope the coding for this grade genie in our online gradebook is fucked Matt: "You final exam score must be 1.20303288341787e^308 for Final Average to be 90"
<mentor> How do you escape handcuffs? <fudge> Are you in handcuffs? <fudge> Depend very much on the design. <fudge> Well-designed handcuffs are, unsurprisingly, quite hard to escape. <fudge> Houdini's stuff was mostly based on having hidden bits of metal that could be used to pick the lock. <mentor> backslashes * fudge hits mentor
<Gumby-> so another guy found you sexy. so what? <Alchav> I guess you had to be there :/ <Gumby-> I do community theater, where 80% of the guys are gay. One time the director came up to me, wanted to make me feel uncomfortable, and said something like "hey big guy, so....boxers or briefs?" ... <Gumby-> so to mess with him, I look at him and say "Neither. womens" <Gumby-> he says "Ooh, that's getting me all excited now." I then return with "Look, it's no secret. I may be strong enough for a man, but I'm made for a woman". He laughed and walked away <Gumby-> Lesson learned: The key to getting someone to stop creeping you out, is to out-do them. :)
<caleb> "you're only running from yourself" <caleb> i yelled that after a pair of joggers once in the early 90s. <caleb> i thought it was hilarious. <caleb> i think there might have been some mescaline involved.
< RedTee> Alright but i still dont have an answer on my second and last question < nazgjunk> RedTee, you ask a question about DOS'ing with ping, without knowing what ping is < RedTee> its not what im asking FFS < RedTee> DO I need dos to preform a dos attack!?!?!?!?! < einz> YES, don't you see name? -!- RedTee [insurgent@HTSUser-4149B6F9.adsl.wanadoo.nl] has quit [Quit: alright THANKS FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
<BurnStuff>: They asked me if I was bring drugs into Jamaica <Kmank>: Bringing drugs to Jamaica? <BurnStuff>: Yeah <Kmank.: Thats like briging slim-fast to Ethiopia!
<Varitek> a piece of spam in my inbox had the subject "new fap" <Varitek> I decided to forget my principles and actually read it <Varitek> it was selling fake watches <Varitek> I was crushed
<Sqrfrk> I went and watched 300 <Sqrfrk> That movie was badass <ErrorNotFound404> oh <ErrorNotFound404> im gonna go on thurs <ErrorNotFound404> dont tell me anything <Sqrfrk> They all die.
<[Ko]Rob_e_lee1> ur retarted lol <[ko]theuberelite> thats the most hypocritical statement I've ever heard.
<SixFeet-> rejected by a computer script, new low in my life <NTT> well, at least u didnt have cybersex with one of those bots that pm's you here on mirc <SixFeet-> well i tried, but it replied with "lets just be friends..." <SixFeet-> =(
<Dan_Dinh> *yet? <Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ? <Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future
<SWTrilman> i'm not huge into porn <Draken> my porn interests, no punning here, come and go <SWTrilman> i used to be into it <SWTrilman> i guess i just got over it <Draken> but she looks so sweet and cute and wholesome... and then she's masturbating to turtles <SWTrilman> or something <Draken> eh, you get burned out on porn <Draken> you either distance yourself for the most part, or seek out more and more extreme porn to fill the gaping hole in yourself. <Draken> then you get arrested for raping a sheep while wearing a Spiderman costume
<Rynol> Until individual protons play little quark violins. <Zrith> I imagine attempting to play music on a quark might prove problematic. <Zrith> You either get to figure out where you are in a song, or what the tempo is. <Rynol> Of course, if we were talking string theory then it'd be easier, what with the inherent resonance and all.
<dude> this is belgium at its best <dude> our minister of defense takes a chopper to fly 60 kms to go see Al Gore's movie about climate change <dude> beat that
<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay
<Mirconium>Several sequels have been announced for Gears of War <Mirconium>The new games will include Sprockets of Peace, Pulleys of Neutrality, Fulcrums of Strife, Screws of Fixation, and Wheels of Locomotion.
<Javin> Oh. <Javin> My. <Javin> God. <Javin> We have a unit here. It's about the size of a small speaker. <Javin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA DESTROYER." <Javin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks, "hey, what is this thing?" <Javin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..." <Javin> Next thing I hear: *GRIND GRIND GRIND* "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" <Javin> Now they're pissed at ME. <Javin> Because THEY couldn't read. <Javin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use MY "DVD Polisher." <Javin> I hate people.