hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#33959 [ + | - ] 275
<+k\o\w> I wanna make a font
<+k\o\w> where the letters are made of penises
<Kid_Khaos> and call it Lucida Handjob
<+k\o\w> r0x0r.
#33958 [ + | - ] 875
<plaktu> ls
<plaktu> oops
<cwd> .
<cwd> ..
<cwd> gaysex/
<cwd> teenpics/
<cwd> kidpics/
<cwd> how_to_steal_children.txt
<cwd> NAMBLA_MEETINGS.doc
#33957 [ + | - ] 329
<scout> woohoo! the FORTRAN code works!
* gus blinks
<gus> dude, is it 1977 again and nobody told me ?
<heliOx> lol
#33956 [ + | - ] 270
SilverErek: ever smoke a hash brown dude?
Presuhn316: no
SilverErek: try it
SilverErek: see what it does to ya
Presuhn316: i'll pass
SilverErek: heh weak
SilverErek: i thought we were pals :-(
Presuhn316: not really
SilverErek: why not:-(
SilverErek: are you upset with me
Presuhn316: no, i just think you're a moron
#33955 [ + | - ] 502
* Jbond64 yawns
* darkcloud stuffs a sock in Jbond's mouth
<waffle> darkcloud: you misspelled cock
#33950 [ + | - ] 158
<Furvert> Washington's the only state where you can see signs
like:  Tractor Rentals, Engines Rebuilt, Espresso.
#33948 [ + | - ] 240
<kinzillah> kronos is portable! *hrrrrk* *thump* *clunk* errr,
maybe not
<Pseudonym> kinzillah: It's about 50 lbs
<Pseudonym> The case being about 40 lbs of that
<Gygaxis> wtf is the case?!?!
<kinzillah> 50 lbs != portable
<Pseudonym> Wimp.
<Gygaxis> jesus christ, did you mod a god damn cinder block?
#33947 [ + | - ] 153
<WakkyMouse> Why the hell is TBS in black and white here?
<Taperlass> Karmic retribution for Ted Turner colorizing "It's
a Wonderful Life."
#33941 [ + | - ] 288
<J.Rai> Mr Pibb. - He's like Dr. Pepper without the degree.
#33939 [ + | - ] 571
<Itharr> I'm like 5'8" and 128 pounds
<Itharr> I have the top half of an asian and the bottom half
of a black man if you know what I'm saying
<Balnaba> So your top half works on a computer all day while
the bottom half does nothing?
#33935 [ + | - ] 159
<qrg> Ajchez: i think they call those girls bbw
<Ajchez> bbw????
<qrg> big beautiful women
<Ajchez> i have a weight limit
<krezt> whats your limit?
<krezt> i can do anything i can lift
<krezt> if they put out my back they aint getting no kak
#33929 [ + | - ] 190
<phantom> damn.
<phantom> All these people and no discussion going on?
<drwiii> oh, we're talking, it's just encoded with
rot-infinity.
<drwiii> once the encoder hits infinity all the traffic will
come spilling through.
<phantom> uh.., either you're bullshitting me, or I've just
lost all interest. Maybe both.
#33926 [ + | - ] 212
@(ZeuS) my g/f was like "I can be your porn"... I was like
"but can I use the zoom feature?"
#33925 [ + | - ] 171
<Video`> Can -anyone- be that stupid?
* Robbie-Al raises hand
#33913 [ + | - ] 384
<Devo-> The Buddhist hamburger joint: they'l make you one with
everything.
#33911 [ + | - ] 25
<Pookachu> afghanistan threatens to retaliate
<Pookachu> they're gonna ride their camels into pakistan
#33905 [ + | - ] 223
<ev-> Here's a cute item from Japan that's a lot of fun --
instead of making boring ice cubes that you don't think
anything about, this will enable you to make fun heart-shaped
ice cubes. Works in any standard freezer, just fill with water
and freeze.
<ev-> works in any standard freezer
<ev-> thank god for that!
#33904 [ + | - ] 430
<Clutch1> Some fucker is using my name!
<Zaratustra> Clutch is
samuraislo@sc-24-24-233-120.socal.rr.com * Michael Pierce
<Clutch1> Hmmm... I am that fucker.
<Zaratustra> Indeed.
#33901 [ + | - ] 173
<Anim0> my gf would be perfect if she had breasts
#33897 [ + | - ] 415
<chikster> orion thinks im mad fine
<chikster> WOOHOO
* chikster dances around room
<orion> you need more pics
<chikster> never knew that
<orion> and i need to shave
<orion> i look like i'm 30
<chikster> i will have more when i get my camera
<maff> dont shave dude
<maff> grow an inverse fro
<chikster> lol
<arse-poet> haha
<jestuh> yeah chik i think you're pretty hot too in an
don't-arrest-me way
#33896 [ + | - ] 176
<R4V3N0U5 1> i bet in like 1000 yrs everyone is gonna have a
comp in their room
<R4V3N0U5 1> the great great great grand children of irc
<R4V3N0U5 1> who dont even need to eat or shit, just be on the
comp all day
<R4V3N0U5 1> and because everyone would be on their comp all
day
<R4V3N0U5 1> no tech support or admin, everyone fend for
themselves
<R4V3N0U5 1> thats where theyd form clans...people would hack
other peoples networks...hacker pvp, where you loose, you're
life is gone
<daenonok> stop it! AHHHHH!!! STOP IT!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
*daenonok stabs his own eyes out with a nearby ballpoint to
avoid going mad
#33893 [ + | - ] 38
<daenonok> eclipse should put 'car does NOT come with 30+ year
old white woman with no jive who thinks she can rip off the
robot to lame techno' on the bottom, under their logo but
above the fine print
#33891 [ + | - ] 226
<gh5046> The day a boy becomes a man is the day he realizes
even pretty girls go poop.
<felix> haha
<felix> the day he becomes a dirty man is the day he realizes
poop is sexy
* felix shudders
#33889 [ + | - ] 135
<Holden> "The file or directory C:WINDOWSsystem32 is corrupt
and unreadable.  Please run the Chkdsk utility."
<Holden> Uh-oh
<Holden> That can't be good.
<Holden> I guess Windows built in random system reformater is
telling me I need to do it again.
*** Holden (~Joe@24.43.60.121) Quit (Read error: Connection
reset by peer)
#33888 [ + | - ] 43
<Sink> heh damn, i think i'm rethinking that shell
<Sink> i think their box just went down
<Sink> lol i was almost done filling everything out too
<Aristotles> wooohooo.. nice... so they're like:
<Aristotles> "DAMNIT! We lost a sale! REDIAL! REDIAL!"
#33887 [ + | - ] 422
* ph33r wears his butt-protector...
<Aristotles> thats a weird way to say "condom"
<nix> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#33886 [ + | - ] 106
<Derian> This is going to be an interesting mix of PHP and
jabascript......
<Derian> javascript
<Derian> only a little jabascript.....
<Ngaru> haha
<Ngaru> that's like, fat alien script.
<Derian> haha yah
#33885 [ + | - ] 103
<Conny> Hello
<Conny> Someone who feel like talkin' ?
<Aristotles> Conny: male or female?
<Conny> i`m male
* Aristotles 's interest fades fast
#33883 [ + | - ] 871
<hitman666> I just use norton. love that proggy... systemworks
<eqnix> wastes too much resources for stuff i can do by hand
<Aristotles> isnt that your philosophy on dating?
#33882 [ + | - ] 161
<R-5> anyone have a better word for mentor?
<Aristotles> childmolester?
#33881 [ + | - ] 94
<BiBOp> heya
<BiBOp> little question
<BiBOp> what services are best for unreal ?
<Aristotles> funeral services
#33880 [ + | - ] 165
<Aristotles> ah yes.. ignorance is bliss..
<Aristotles> and that boy is absolutely giddy
#33879 [ + | - ] 130
<MethTical> u should kline this people for being stupid
<Aristotles> hey if we didn't have an open door policy for
stupid people
<Aristotles> you wouldn't be here to have this conversation
#33876 [ + | - ] 497
<Asha`monkey> I went to the beach with two of my female
friends one night, and when we got there they started making
out with eachother.
<Asha`monkey> Then when I tried to lean over they were like
"HAHA, YEAH RIGHT."
<Asha`monkey> Bitches.
#33872 [ + | - ] 679
<three-hams> http://us.feamerch.com another good ass band
<charliex> ass band
<three-hams> (insert hymen between good and ass)
<three-hams> err
<three-hams> hyphen
<three-hams> my god I'm an idiot
#33868 [ + | - ] 30
<Phobos> right, im off to build a slimline super computer, i
will saw the 1.2ghz board i have so that it will fit into my
lunchbox
<Phobos> and the poor fucker who forgets his lunch and dares
to open it, will be shiting an amd duron chip a day or two
later
#33866 [ + | - ] 47
<brolli_420> World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H
(Champion) vs. Unknown Opponent
<brolli_420> WOW
<brolli_420> that should be a good match -_-
#33861 [ + | - ] 29
<kaye> what, like EFnet has a monopoly on lamers? oh wait..
#33853 [ + | - ] 211
<siliconcenturion>: man, half the sales reps at the toyota
dealership should be named Uncle Ben
<siliconcenturion>: black guys trying to sell me rice
#33852 [ + | - ] 416
<@FKnight> if sex had a wizard
<@FKnight> my g/f would pick Typical
<@FKnight> no custom
#33848 [ + | - ] 170
edRigo: she "Fell asleep with him" according to Marshall
edRigo: I assume that means they fucked, but you never know
with him
BallastMan: from now i'll call you "dr ambiguous unless
pressed for details"
#33847 [ + | - ] 203
BagmanJon: one sec theres a dude from the church here who
wants me to buttrape him
BagmanJon: brb
BagmanJon: Turns out it was a chick.
BagmanJon: my lucky day eh?
#33846 [ + | - ] 252
Brood: eminem is such a cracker faggot
RokChik7: what'd he do now?
Brood: rap.
RokChik7: lol
#33845 [ + | - ] -7
<rel> well some random guy msg's me
<rel> im assuming its you
<rel> so rufk off
<rel> oh shit
<rel> wrong channel heh
<BB> lol
#33841 [ + | - ] -55
<chikster> lol
<c-rOCK> this is great
<chikster> whats that one quote
<c-rOCK> As #geekissues turns
#33838 [ + | - ] 299
<@Jugernaut> bah this shirt is full of holes
<@temptah> eat less corn
<@temptah> and more fiber
<@temptah> oh
<@temptah> I thought you said "shit"
#33837 [ + | - ] 245
<The_Great_Bob> stupid tv shows, stereotyping asian guys as
horney bastards
<The_Great_Bob> we are not that horny!!!
<Chucklez> .....
<Chucklez> this coming from you, bob?
<The_Great_Bob> yeah, i lost it for a minute there
<The_Great_Bob> back to thinking about sex
#33835 [ + | - ] 214
<pagan> dude youll be talking about that still when were 60
years old
<jstepka-w> i know
<jstepka-w> because it's the triumph of my life
<jstepka-w> two bitches at once
<jstepka-w> and i didn't pay
#33834 [ + | - ] 18
<Smokey> What are the advantages of Trillina pro?
<Amadeo> What are the advantages of you shutting the fuck up?
*Amadeo just got a whole list in the span in 2 seconds there
#33832 [ + | - ] 211
<active1> how to become a bot ???
<dieppiej> first you have to become a computer, then you have
to get an 24/7 internet connection and plug it into yourself..
install a stable *BSD OS and then install the right
application on yourself
<active1> it is so easy :))))
<dieppiej> I wonder how you are going to do the first step..