<Rx> I am eating hot dogs that have little bits of cheese inside the frankfurter <Rx> It is amazing. <Rx> I am sure this must be an american invention <Rx> but it's like a man who ejaculates cream cheese is having sex in my mouth with a beautiful pork woman
H2SO4Baddie: it's a good thing easter isn't on groundhog day, cuz then jesus'd come out of his tomb, see his shadow, go back in and we'd have 6 more weeks of winter axoren123: xD
yuseisays: I got one! I got one! BlackDragon412: WHAT? yuseisays: What do you call children that are born in whore houses? yuseisays: BROTHEL SPROUTS BlackDragon412: ... yuseisays: oh crap, wrong persoin
Anti: Physics is like sex, it has practical results but that's not why we do it RaefWolfe: Physics is like sex: I just don't get it
<jms> maybe I can do it in java <jms> but that sounds as pleasant as cheesegrating my testicles
ET: Bash.org is moderated Lily: yeah. xD ET: that stuff has to be approved ET: if Bash.org is moderated, what the hell kinda stuff doesn't make the cut?
<Ken|JLime> Jtag_me If you want a challenge, learn the emacs short commands <Ken|JLime> I'll stick to medical school myself <Jtag_me> haha <Ken|JLime> Its like CTRL-XYWZQFGUJ-F1 (while pressing F2).. and it walks your dog
<osx5> question is there an irc server that has mostly mac users on it? <Eulogy> i hope to god not. <osx5> lol, why <Eulogy> that much arrogance would cause the universe to collapse on itself.
Kanishka: The vagina has 3 holes right? Sahil: no Kanishka: Yeah it does; one for the dick and two for the balls <lol> Sahil: No you fucking dumbass, there aren't three holes Kanishka: Then where do the balls go in? Kyle: They...don't.
<Hawaiian_Pig> that reminds me... if i ever get the chance to write something on a bomb, it'd have to be an ascii wang.
<@norman> so, how many dates do you have to go on before it changes from assault to domestic violence
<Aust> I was playing a groove jazz jam at a coffee shop, and a group of mentally handicapped kids walked in. One of them ran right to the middle of us and started dancing all crazy. He was dressed like an Native American. Like, battle rags... It was fuckiing awesome. He danced for like 20 minutes. We all danced with him.
obscurityusa: i showed my roomate ftw.generation obscurityusa: he's... he's not talking to me anymore.... obscurityusa: like first random he gets is the hulk getting butt raped by capt. america
<marshmallow> i had a hard time trying to explain to mike what the orly owl was <marshmallow> i mean how would you describe it to someone who hadn't heard of it <__penguin__> the same way you describe what color is to a blind person <marshmallow> HAHA IT'S PURTY AND U CANT SEE IT
<+dogcow> Did you hear about the MPAA being caught using pirated software? <+dogcow> http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/02/18/ 0458213 <+TheHURD> *loooooooooooooooooooool* <+dogcow> Can anyone recommend any good movies? I'm going to celebrate!
<Bull|breakky> lol. i had a few drinks, tried to light a smoke off me zippo, took a phone call, filled the zippo with petrol, spilt some on my hand, lit the smoke and dropped the phone, me hand was on fire. yea i know . duhhhhhhhh@ me <PistNBroke> rofl
<@Merrick178> I hope you get hit by an uninsured Mexican driving an ice cream truck with la bamba playing in the background
<Daniel> Spongebob is a tampon. <Daniel> He's a sponge who lives in bikini bottom with Mr Crabs. <Nictheman> lmao
<Jenny The Xenomorph> I found a good example of why i dont talk to my parents much though. My mum found a picture of the sun my dad took a while back during the eclipse. had a large dark spot on it, which they were trying to work out what it was.
<BigKahuna>so my son came home from school early <BigKahuna>terrified look on his face <BigKahuna>handed me two pieces of paper <BigKahuna>one says he's been suspended for two weeks <BigKahuna>the other is a bill for $850 for removing a mechanical bull from a swimming pool <lhging|brb>HAHAHAHAHA <BigKahuna>half of me knows i should punish him, but the other half just wants to say "my god i love my kids"
<Teegan> orgasum <Stressball> theres no U in orgasm <Stressball> haha <Stressball> sounds like an anti-rape slogan
<Sin> MICHAEL JACKSON DIED TODAY! <Vincent> WHAT!? how? <Sin> acute food poisoning <Sin> he ate some 12 year old nuts
<trips> Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of dialup, I will fear no lag: for thou art with me; thy lights and thy bandwidth they comfort me. Thou preparest a website before me in the presence of mine boredom: thou anointest my ports with data; my hard drive runneth over. Surely fast surfing and low access rates shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of cisco systems for ever.
<Python> Did you fall from a shooting star? <silly_girlie> hehe <silly_girlie> ahh sure why not <GLT23> because your face looks like it slammed into earth at 1500 mph? is that the end of the pickup line?
<Setoshi> im sad <Setoshi> how i wanted to download house season 1 <Setoshi> and i got the full house season 1 <Setoshi> what a fucking waste <KN> rofl!!!!!! <Setoshi> dude but i seriously got pissed <Setoshi> i saw michelle's face I was like <Setoshi> WTF IS THIS
<QuartzImg> damn, unfortunately ill be missing the crab race <llamamall> do they pick them right off the pubes? <QuartzImg> ever seen Maryland crabs? <binrapt> I said do you enjoy the smell of your genitals <QuartzImg> I cant really sniff them <QuartzImg> Maryland crabs are about the size of a small cat <QuartzImg> and bright blue <QuartzImg> and evil <llamamall> wow <llamamall> would suck to have those in your pubes <QuartzImg> i know <QuartzImg> they weigh like 3 lbs max <QuartzImg> that would be a nasty tug
<Zenji> My brother who hasnt talked to my Dad in like a year or so got a chick pregnant. <Zenji> He notified my Dad by sending him a "Worlds Number 1 Grandfather" card.
<Teksura> I got a great Anecdote for you. <Teksura> Today I was at College, and I was with a good friend of mine. She has been there for me for the past year and has given me all the Doctor Who fandom I could ask for <Teksura> Today I went to give her a ride home because I'm just that nice a guy <Teksura> So, as we are on the way to my car, some random freshman stops us <Teksura> Aparently, he knew me from high school, but I have no idea who the heck he is. <Teksura> Well, he starts talking about stuff that I like to pretend never happened, stuff that you only bring up if you want to make someone embarrassed <Teksura> So, suddenly, I get one of my trademark cunning plans <Teksura> I pull $20 from my wallet and say "Look, I don't know who you are, but seeing as you only want to talk about things that you know I don't ever want spoken, I'll give you $20 if you go away." <Teksura> He agrees and reaches for the $20 <Teksura> "Nono, you haven't gone away yet. You're still here. I will give you the $20 after you go away." <Teksura> So he says "OK" walks off. <Teksura> I pocket my $20 and take my friend to my car before he figures out what I just did.
Reguarding geology vs. astronomy: Skail[FARK] Yeah, I'm down with rocks. Skail[FARK] You can't dent someone's skull with a nebula.
<WaterBomb> did anyone get fucked by the ice storm? <WaterBomb> I'm in west vagina <WaterBomb> we only got 6 inches <WaterBomb> but that 6 inches plus the ice has been a pain in the ass <WaterBomb> er, I live in west virginia
<Nobuyuki`> I just asked a chick why she liked tentacle porn so much <Nobuyuki`> and she said to me "variety is the spice of life" <Nobuyuki`> I asked her "could you be... less vague" <Nobuyuki`> and then she said "the worms are the source of all spice" <Nobuyuki`> fucking nerd chicks !!!!!!
<TheRedBaron> 8.5 million... from what hat did they pull that number out of? <spldart> sniff sniff <spldart> I don't think that's a hat
<+Rainetine> where have all the protons gone <+Rainetine> LONG TIME PASSING <+Rainetine> where have all the protons gone <+Rainetine> LONG TIME AGO <+Rainetine> where have all the protons gone <+Rainetine> they've fused into neutrons, now we know
<JeighEighm> Tauren, why don't you just sniff the packets and find out? <Tauren> how do i DO THAT? <Tauren> how do I sniff packets <JeighEighm> Tauren, okay. It's easy. Get your network cable. <Tauren> How do I sniff? <JeighEighm> Hold it to your nose. <JeighEighm> Inhale. <JeighEighm> Smell those packets.
<Peanut> I reckon all cheaters caught on Steam should be given a second chance <ska> Dude when I flush a turd I dont want it coming back up
<s1um>after meeting a few girls on myspace, i think they need to put a warning on the site that says "objects on screen are larger than they appear"
n3xg3n> weird... i just found this: Walker Texas Ranger is an anagram for Karate Wrangler Sex
Joe: Here's an issue I never had to worry about in CA. Does anyone know if an Hard Drive that is roughly -10C in temperature from being in the back of a UPS truck and then the porch, really dislikes being asked to spin up? Joe: wonders if he should wait for it to warm up considerably. MisterX: put it in the microwave for 5 seconds Joe: Oh, thanks! Joe: Be right back. Joe left the chat room. Andy: Is he serious?
<@xyst> perl made me angry last week. <@xyst> so angry i wrote something in java instead. <@ecoli> wtf could it have done to make you do that? <@ecoli> that's like saying "hot naked women made me so angry i had to go slam my penis in a car door"
< fortitUs> hm.. whats a strapon? :S *innocent look* <%relsqui> fortitUs: it's what I would use, lacking a cock, if I wanted to screw someone with one < fortitUs> O_O -!- fortitUs [lordogame@hide-1F17685D.singnet.com.sg] has quit [Quit: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh] <%relsqui> oh man, I remembered that he's like 12 RIGHT after I said that
<Chris> man.. i've got such a bad cold, I keep gettin nosebleeds. it's awful * Joins #aesir: -Mike0r- <Chris> I mean, last night.. I blew my load into a tissue right <Chris> but it just started bleeding... <Chris> I had to pinch it to stop it, cos it bleeds for ages <Chris> I swear one day it'll happen and i'll die from blood loss :( * Quits: -Mik0r- (Quit: what. the. fuck. note to self, don't ever hang out with you guys.. ever) <Dan> ehh
meird: no his sister is really creepy man hindenburg: like goth and morbid type creepy? meird: not exactly meird: you know how like little kids write on walls? hindenburg: thats not that creepy meird: it is when you wake up at 2am, and shes standing over you gripping a giant sharpy like a knife meird: the wall was covered in the fibonacci sequence or something like that meird: its funny how many serial killer horror movies can flash in front of your eyes in the fraction of a second
<+Dave2> myspace valentines messages. <+Dave2> that sentence is 66% evil <+Dave2> that is all
<hapry> Fuck, I just finished bash :( <k8k8k8k> finished? <hapry> Yeah...i read it all :( <treaty> you're officially the lamest person ever
<BenSpinSpace> if you double major in graphic design and archaeology, could you specialize in jpeg artifacts?
< _Maber_> "Hi, my name is perl. Feed me an orange peel and some moldy bread, and I'll construct a 747 out of post-it notes."
<badelia> oops, i did ctrl+n instead of shift+n <tt> wow, what does shift+n do <badelia> uh, makes a capital n... <tt> O...
Niall: "There is no "I" in team." "There's no "we" either. However, there IS a "me". So piss off, you micromanaging twerp." DMac: there's also meat Niall: And meta. DMac: and meta DMac: .. meta-meat? Niall: Transcendental sausage? DMac: tame meta-meat Niall: Farm-raised transcendental pigs. DMac: tame meta-meat mate? Niall: Female farm-raised transcendental pig. DMac: better than mate meta-tame meat Niall: Bestiality involving a pig raised on a transcendental farm. DMac: team mate tame meta-meat .... /shudder Niall: Gangbang bestiality involving a pig raised on a transcendental farm.
<[M]Kimahri[DotB]> can someone tell me a good program to burn a dvd? my wmp won't find my burner, realplayer won't open the file, my dvdburning program can't do it either <samcobra> try a lighter