<HaX.1337> U're all lame as hell here!!!!! I can hack u all in no time! just tell me your ip and u're dead! <Maler.home> try mine <Maler.home> 127.0.0.1 *** Signoff: HaX.1337 (Connection reset by peer) <Damz|dispute> wow. never thought such a retard nick can get his hands on something actually working xD
<@dekkon> ive got an appointment at the eye doctor on the 13th <@dekkon> finally going to get contacts <@terminal_> contacts are a pain in the ass <+jmx> terminal they go in your eyes
<HellDragon> why do i make the same face when i orgasm than when i go backward in my car
<peerce> Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, Ill use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.
<kimos> You seem (in my (humble) opinion (which doesn't mean much)) to be (or possibly could be) more of a Lisp programmer (but I could be (and probably am) wrong).
<laszlow> What would you rather wake up to at three in the morning? A dick in your mouth or a clown grinning at you from across the room? <Neal> I can only pick one
<c-unut> pfft slipknot <Finch > slipknot go good <c-unut> I've always seen them sorta like anal sex <Finch> if u want to look at it that way... <c-unut> You know, I appreciate that some may enjoy it, and it has its moments, but at the end of the day, its still fucking shit.
<@BalefireX> you dated a sea mammal <+Spexor_> if you ask her we never dated <@YucA> man <@YucA> i dunno whats worse <@YucA> that he admits to dating a sea mammal <@YucA> or that said sea mammal wouldnt admit to dating him
<fatcat> Someone wrote <shit> on the outside of a stall door in the bathroom, and </shit> on the inside.
<matt____> hey guys is there a way to patch an older redhat server?? <matt____> Linux devcvs 2.2.16-22 #1 Tue Aug 22 16:49:06 EDT 2000 i686 unknown <Evolution> holy hell <Evolution> 2.2.16? <Evolution> just out of curiosity, what's the uptime on that antique? <matt____> devnu11:18am up 2287 days, 2:52, 25 users, load average: 1.76, 1.26, 0.70 <Zathrus> gods
< kakistos> lol. i liked the java compiler. < kakistos> does the c compiler not tell you what you did wrong? < deviant> C is great < ewan> the Java compiler is all like "you have an uninitialised variable there, would you like a hug?" < ewan> gcc is like "raaagh! I do no bounds-checking! Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"
<jaMESG[champ]> you know, i always thought that i kept my desk kinda clean <jaMESG[champ]> turning the keyboard over and tapping the back of it <jaMESG[champ]> so much shit falls out of it <jaMESG[champ]> jesus <burningpapersun> lol <burningpapersun> jesus fell out of your keyboard? <jaMESG[champ]> yeah <jaMESG[champ]> i kicked that fucker out <jaMESG[champ]> didn't pay rent <jaMESG[champ]> just squatted <jaMESG[champ]> in my keyboard
<Snojoe> I am a genius <Snojoe> I just came up with a new game <mbb102488> oh lord, what now? <Gnarly> did you finally figure out hand + dick, joe? <Snojoe> Bash drinking game <mbb102488> lol <Snojoe> I'm serious! go onto the random page <Snojoe> and you take a drink for every quote of like <Snojoe> tubgirl <Snojoe> or even goatse <Gnarly> no, 2 for goatse <Snojoe> uh, no... 2 drinks are reserved for every one about niggers <Gnarly> lmao <mbb102488> wow... <Gnarly> just don't hope you randomly don't get the whole bottom list as random <Gnarly> else you'd be fucked
<Aiko> Nothing beats the look on a 14-year-old boy's face when his older sister catches him watching femdom porn, smiles and tells him she's already seen that one. <9874354> speaking from experience? <Aiko> Yep. ^_^
arucardegungrave: Yeah, Jesus tried to save me, but there was no space on his memory card.
<CptSage> Awesome error message <CptSage> Best one ever <CptSage> A network error has occured. This computer's Internet connection appears to be online. (-66559).
<Snojoe> Lemme ask you somethin <Gnarly> Okay... <Snojoe> If you date a two-headed chick, and you want sex, and one of them says no.. <Snojoe> is it rape? <Gnarly> you dont have much free time, do you? <Snojoe> Time is a factor here, man... need an answer
<bloodfart> this homeless dude was eating a pie <bloodfart> that someone bought him <destx> wicked <bloodfart> he got up to cross the road and tripped over, dropping the pie <bloodfart> as if your life couldnt get any worse
<+llama> just sold some vibrating panties <+llama> $50 panties <barryh> did you wear them 1st? <+llama> naw <+llama> they are like a cheap hotel, no ballroom
Jenna says: I Jenna says: l Jenna says: o Jenna says: v Jenna says: e Jenna says: y David says: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! Jenna says: what the **** is your problem? Jenna says: why do you always do that?
<sdodson> I'm trying to figure out if my neighbors have really bad rhythm or if they're hanging photos on the wall
<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or some shit <Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit <Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii" <Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers" <Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola
<altus> internet diet is shitty <altus> cookies and spam all the time <xoroa> yea. and the cookies are totally dubious. i mean, who would eat one that expires in 2017?
<Tostitos> i like my women the way i like my coffee <Jet> Ground up and in the freezer? <SteveTheImpermeableHamster> full of your cream? <mistik> hawt? <Dokterrock> What, tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a burro? <RaMTuFF> quiet ? <Jet>: Colombian? <Aimee> hot? <Jet> From McDonalds? <djswift2k3> Black? <SteveTheImpermeableHamster> in a cup? <Jet> Spilt all over your lap? <Aimee> cheap? <whiteboihere> strong and black?/ <Tostitos> i hate you all
CharmQuark42: a math sheep? Quillethe: it would explain the counting CharmQuark42: it does integ-wools!
<NightShade> you know what a vampire puts in his hot water to make tea? <NightShade> a used tampon
MisterMunshun: I used to be a telemarketer, working for the Shriners. I'd call people up and try and get them to sponsor a group of needy and handicapped kids from the Shriner's hospitals to go see the circus. MisterMunshun: One night, i'm making my calls, and i come to this name on one of my sheets MisterMunshun: "Mrs. Pucci" MisterMunshun: I'm making the calls before it, but i'm just going through the motions, because in my head, over and over, i'm thinking MisterMunshun: DON'T SAY PUSSY DON'T SAY PUSSY DON'T SAY PUSSY IT'S POO-CHI POO-CHI NOT PUSSY DON'T SAY PUSSY MisterMunshun: So, I dial her up MisterMunshun: She answers MisterMunshun: "Hello, Mrs. Pussy?" MisterMunshun: everyone in the office immediately bursts into laughter, and i just fucking deflate. MisterMunshun: I can't fucking apologize because everyone is laughing, which is making ME laugh. MisterMunshun.: And it wouldn't have mattered anyway, she'd already fucking hung up. Jake: and you were fired
<PhoenixBourne> Ok, so a friend of mine had an AWESOME idea at school <PhoenixBourne> You know rohyphonol? (whatever the spelling is) <linforcer> Is he gontna make a trebuchet <linforcer> no <PhoenixBourne> You know date rape drugs? <linforcer> Sure <PhoenixBourne> Right, rhyphonol is one of these. It knocks you asleep after an hour or two. <PhoenixBourne> I should also mention, a side affect of rhyphonol is amnesia of events whilst under influence of the drug. <PhoenixBourne> Now, a friend of mine had this idea: 1) Prepare ingredients 2) Take rhyphonol 3) Bake cake 4) Fall asleep 5) ?????? 6) Wake up 7) CAKE?! CAKE! Where did this come from?! <linforcer> SURPRISE CAKE!!!!!!
<Rx> I am eating hot dogs that have little bits of cheese inside the frankfurter <Rx> It is amazing. <Rx> I am sure this must be an american invention <Rx> but it's like a man who ejaculates cream cheese is having sex in my mouth with a beautiful pork woman
H2SO4Baddie: it's a good thing easter isn't on groundhog day, cuz then jesus'd come out of his tomb, see his shadow, go back in and we'd have 6 more weeks of winter axoren123: xD
yuseisays: I got one! I got one! BlackDragon412: WHAT? yuseisays: What do you call children that are born in whore houses? yuseisays: BROTHEL SPROUTS BlackDragon412: ... yuseisays: oh crap, wrong persoin
Anti: Physics is like sex, it has practical results but that's not why we do it RaefWolfe: Physics is like sex: I just don't get it
<jms> maybe I can do it in java <jms> but that sounds as pleasant as cheesegrating my testicles
ET: Bash.org is moderated Lily: yeah. xD ET: that stuff has to be approved ET: if Bash.org is moderated, what the hell kinda stuff doesn't make the cut?
<Ken|JLime> Jtag_me If you want a challenge, learn the emacs short commands <Ken|JLime> I'll stick to medical school myself <Jtag_me> haha <Ken|JLime> Its like CTRL-XYWZQFGUJ-F1 (while pressing F2).. and it walks your dog
<osx5> question is there an irc server that has mostly mac users on it? <Eulogy> i hope to god not. <osx5> lol, why <Eulogy> that much arrogance would cause the universe to collapse on itself.
Kanishka: The vagina has 3 holes right? Sahil: no Kanishka: Yeah it does; one for the dick and two for the balls <lol> Sahil: No you fucking dumbass, there aren't three holes Kanishka: Then where do the balls go in? Kyle: They...don't.
<Hawaiian_Pig> that reminds me... if i ever get the chance to write something on a bomb, it'd have to be an ascii wang.
<@norman> so, how many dates do you have to go on before it changes from assault to domestic violence
<Aust> I was playing a groove jazz jam at a coffee shop, and a group of mentally handicapped kids walked in. One of them ran right to the middle of us and started dancing all crazy. He was dressed like an Native American. Like, battle rags... It was fuckiing awesome. He danced for like 20 minutes. We all danced with him.
obscurityusa: i showed my roomate ftw.generation obscurityusa: he's... he's not talking to me anymore.... obscurityusa: like first random he gets is the hulk getting butt raped by capt. america
<marshmallow> i had a hard time trying to explain to mike what the orly owl was <marshmallow> i mean how would you describe it to someone who hadn't heard of it <__penguin__> the same way you describe what color is to a blind person <marshmallow> HAHA IT'S PURTY AND U CANT SEE IT
<+dogcow> Did you hear about the MPAA being caught using pirated software? <+dogcow> http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/02/18/ 0458213 <+TheHURD> *loooooooooooooooooooool* <+dogcow> Can anyone recommend any good movies? I'm going to celebrate!
<Bull|breakky> lol. i had a few drinks, tried to light a smoke off me zippo, took a phone call, filled the zippo with petrol, spilt some on my hand, lit the smoke and dropped the phone, me hand was on fire. yea i know . duhhhhhhhh@ me <PistNBroke> rofl
<@Merrick178> I hope you get hit by an uninsured Mexican driving an ice cream truck with la bamba playing in the background
<Daniel> Spongebob is a tampon. <Daniel> He's a sponge who lives in bikini bottom with Mr Crabs. <Nictheman> lmao
<Jenny The Xenomorph> I found a good example of why i dont talk to my parents much though. My mum found a picture of the sun my dad took a while back during the eclipse. had a large dark spot on it, which they were trying to work out what it was.