hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#21713 [ + | - ] 290
<the-low> it saddens me to see a lady that i love, such as an
adult film star, take a cum shot in the face
#21699 [ + | - ] 451
<Rasterburn> Is there a way to split a file at a specific
byte?
<0dan0> no
<0dan0> unless you are using a "computer"
<0dan0> then it can be done
#21680 [ + | - ] 561
<ic3m4n> i have 6 usb ports
<c00l_zero> what for??
<ic3m4n> modem, mouse, webcam, scanner, printer and 1 just in
case...
<ic3m4n> i was trying to find the modem one...
*** ic3m4n has quit IRC: (Connection reset by peer.)
*** ic3m4n has joined #cad
<ic3m4n> yep, that was the one...
#21668 [ + | - ] 150
<Disciple> i'd give head to a guy before I'd kiss him
#21667 [ + | - ] 243
<TheWoland> If anyone molests me while I'm gone, take some
pictures for my website
#21521 [ + | - ] 312
<@Kyoushu_Yatou> Hey Saka, or Paul.. someone.. I need a boy
<@Kyoushu_Yatou> bot
<@Kyoushu_Yatou> **
<@Kyoushu_Yatou> >_<
#21516 [ + | - ] 13097
<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge
fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can
come and join us too.
<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what
you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously...
you'd be ruining my life.
<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will
you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag
him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise
him.
[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill
us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please
don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did
she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu
.
[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point
#21455 [ + | - ] 181
<Chikster> Oh wow ur little comments can go fuck a goat.
<Chikster> LoL
<Chikster> now that i read what i said i see where u got that.
<BadCaleb> i'd pay to see that.. i can't explain why, though
<nyisles> text on a computer screen can't exactly have sex
with a goat...
<Chikster> well..true
<Chikster> but someday
<BadCaleb> in  aperfect world.. words will roam around,
fucking all sorts of animals
<BadCaleb> but not mine..
#21441 [ + | - ] 167
<Kaze_Shinmen> Not that I am homosexual. I just like toting
rainbow colored girly things.
#21418 [ + | - ] 107
(h0va) i could fill any IT job now.. and do well.. from my
home computer
experiance.. but i would never get hired cuz i have no
credentials
(cranky) h0va: dude you couldn't fill a toilet bowl
#21390 [ + | - ] 22
<terrance?>: have you read the LOTR books
<stratusxh>: no, however, i have them, and i'm considering
reading them before school
<stratusxh>: dunno though
<stratusxh>: that boost of geekness may well keep me from
getting laid for a couple weeks after reading them
<stratusxh>: i sure as hell know the Harry Potter books did
that
<terrance?>: fuck harry potter
<stratusxh>: fuck harry potter? fuck your taste in literature
#21365 [ + | - ] 310
*** cade changes topic to: 'its my mcdonalds, ill play in the
ball pen if i FUCKING WANT'
#21363 [ + | - ] 79
<EvILEyE{GF}> I tried getting my scanner to work
<EvILEyE{GF}> stupid prick machine doesn't work with win2k
<EvILEyE{GF}> only works with linux, OSX, and pre-winME OS's
(drivers)
<EvILEyE{GF}> so I tried it on my laptop and linux broke
<EvILEyE{GF}> so I tried installing win98 on it
<EvILEyE{GF}> win98 broke
<EvILEyE{GF}> it's outside on the front lawn now
<EvILEyE{GF}> I figured I could format the hard drive by
throwing it out the window
<Kaown> It'd leave a footprint on the ground, but that's about
all.
#21354 [ + | - ] 1705
<Beerman> I demand random linkage! link me to strange things,
and entertain me
<tate> http://www.goatse.cx/
<ecs> i was just gunna say that...
<Beerman> my word, whats wrong with that mans bottom?
#21346 [ + | - ] 497
<ChaB`s> Santa Claus hates you.
<LordReavr> he doesn't, he gives me presents.
<ChaB`s> no he doesn't.
<ChaB`s> that's not santa at all.
<LordReavr> you're just jealous because all you get is lumps
of coal.
<ChaB`s> hey, I'm prepared for an energy crisis, man
#21316 [ + | - ] 453
<@JackPott> JACK POTT
<@JackPott> IN TEH MORNING
<@JackPott> ON TEH RADIO
<@JackPott> TOMORROW LIEK
<@GingaNutz> nice abuse of the english language
<+Oz> abuse is an understatement
<+Oz> more like "flagellation followed by intense anal rape by
at least seven well-endowed males, two goats and one horse, in
turn followed by an intragenital injection of H2SO4"
#21309 [ + | - ] 333
<ilde> Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
#21292 [ + | - ] 194
<RatBreath> almost half a terabyte of copyrighted material...
amazing. you are a god
<Rzrshrp60> well most of it is vids of isajeeps mom on the
strip
<Efflixi> lol
<Rzrshrp60> ...high quality
<isajeep> wtf
#21282 [ + | - ] 448
<ChugChug> so like... uhh.. what language do you use?
<LaC> english
<ChugChug> is that like perl? :)
<LaC> god i hope not
#21277 [ + | - ] 1980
<Mercy> It's (assassinate the president) fun to annoy (charter
a plane, pentagon) the NSA by (shoot George Bush) inserting
crap into innocent (blow up congress) sentences.
<Mercy> Or so I've been (nuke Washington) told.
<@Ixnorp> One would think that the NSA would have slightly
more advanced filtering techniques than regexp.
* Mercy Quit (Ping timeout)
<@Ixnorp> Or maybe not.
#21255 [ + | - ] 614
<+elf> hey
<Dekar> Do you want to see my cool thing?
<Dekar> It's shiny...
<Dekar> It has all sorts of moving parts.
<Dekar> And it does things. Cool things.
<+elf> zip up your pants, I don't care if you spray painted
your penis.
#21236 [ + | - ] 965
*** Perz has joined #dorkydungeon
<Perz> YES!!!!!
<Perz> FINALLY CABLE!!!!!!!
<Perz> NO MORE GOD DAMN DISCONNECTS BECAUSE OF MY FUCKING
MODEM!!!!1
<TormenT> yay :D
*** Perz has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<TromenT> lol
#21221 [ + | - ] 306
<DarkDawg> hrm
<DarkDawg> somethign doesn;t seem right...
<Xplosive> the spelling of 'something' and 'doesn't'?
<fukdis> ahahaha
#21220 [ + | - ] 279
<darkdawg> bout how long till you can check my box out?
<Trolan> no clue.  this shouldn't be taking me this long,
excpet the guy who coded it needs to be shot.
<Trolan> and otherwise, try an OB/GYN
<darkdawg> ob/gyn?  type that as root?
#21217 [ + | - ] 239
<SVJ-FuNiOnZ> man this sucks
<SVJ-FuNiOnZ> i got new deoderant and it smells like my
grandpas cologne
<SVJ-FuNiOnZ> so i cant jackoff without seeing a mental image
of my grandpa
#21202 [ + | - ] 719
e l i t e m r p: http://www.worldpowers.net/canada/
reverend ine: 404
e l i t e m r p: yea =)
#21200 [ + | - ] 1586
* Jeff challenges fastpak to a jousting match at high noon
<fastpak> shit. I..uh...my horse is..uh...nonexistant.
<fastpak> so i guess i'll have to decline
<FlyNavy> you have to understand that when Jeff says
"jousting" he really means gay sex
<FlyNavy> and when he says "wanna play a round of WC3?"
<FlyNavy> he also means gay sex
<Jeff> ...
<FlyNavy> pretty much anything he says boils down to gay sex
<FlyNavy> :D
<Jeff> want to have some gay sex?
<Tektronic> sorry dont have cs installed jeff
#21184 [ + | - ] 579
<phoena>: I made the mistake of sending my husband to the
store. He bought a case of Froot Loops.  Fourteen boxes.  I
don't hate Froot Loops now, but I think I will 14 boxes from
now.
#21172 [ + | - ] 130
<Petruchio> You know... if Disney had named their new movie
Lilo & Patch, I'd probably have gone to see it.
#21169 [ + | - ] 236
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o aen
<aen> aen's access level grew 3 sizes that day.
<aen> And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
<bob3d> the ladies were rather pleased
<aen> He whizzed with his load through the bright morning
light
<aen> ANd he brought back the toys! And the food for the
feast!
<aen> And he...
<aen> ...HE HIMSELF...!
<aen> aen spanked his own meat!
<aen> Or something.
#21168 [ + | - ] 320
<DC> like i had this pet duck one time
<DC> he was the biggest fuck up ever
<DC> and he was such an asshole to me
<DC> and i would be like "come here quacker"
<DC> hmm maybe he was pissed because i named him quacker
<DC> yeah thats got to be it
#21167 [ + | - ] 17
[ +vampyriclust ] what is it about vanilla coke that makes me
piss like a bitch with a urine fetish?
#21163 [ + | - ] 376
<R0SC0E> i bought this returned 60 gig hard drive this weekend
<R0SC0E> thinking they probably just didn't know how to
install it
<R0SC0E> and it'd be fine
<ScumDog> cheap or something?
<R0SC0E> and it turned out to be an old 20 gig drive with the
label swapped
<R0SC0E> yeah
<R0SC0E> but the fuckwad left all his old files on it
<R0SC0E> so i have his name, address, phone number, fax
number, e-mail
<R0SC0E> i e-mailed him and was like you dumbshit
<R0SC0E> he e-mailed back and was like i uh sell computer
parts so once it leaves my hands i don't know what people do
with their stuff
<R0SC0E> i was like what the fuck does that mean, why would
someone take a 20 gig drive you sold, and put all of these
letters to lawyers with your return address on them
<R0SC0E> and call their windows username your name
<R0SC0E> no reply after that
#21154 [ + | - ] 1296
<NickBlasta> asl?
<Cryph> unf?
<NickBlasta> no
<NickBlasta> asl
<Cryph> unf?
<NickBlasta> u want the cyber
<NickBlasta> ?
<Cryph> unf!
<NickBlasta> fap fap
<[H]Klypr8> parlor.asf
<[H]Tongboy> lol, I come back for a minute on accident, and I
see what looks like 2 aolers trying to mate
#21147 [ + | - ] 29
<soimafrea> missing a that i think blood
<BloodNose> ?
<soimafrea> you dont know THAT much about me to tell
<blender> what blood said works fine
<soimafrea> i know but the grahmmer was appouling .
<blender> bahaha
#21145 [ + | - ] 32
<l0wkey> im under house arrest
<l0wkey> for two years
<_INTRA_> what did ya do?
<l0wkey> some bullshit stalking charges
<l0wkey> 32 convictions
<l0wkey> 104 trials
<_INTRA_> lowkey: u are so full of shit
<l0wkey> that is what the judge said
<l0wkey> i was caught stalking her...i said i wanted to talk
to her about the case
<l0wkey> i was caught at 2:00 am, 16 times
<l0wkey> in a row
#21140 [ + | - ] -92
<ChrisF-> how all my little niglets doing?
<ChrisF-> we celebrating black histry munf in dis mofo?
#21128 [ + | - ] 400
<Reno> I wonder who the joker is that is sending me such a
huge e-male
<EIGHTBALL> an e-male?
<EIGHTBALL> damn
<EIGHTBALL> can I get an e-female anywhere?
<EIGHTBALL> preferrably not huge
#21126 [ + | - ] 175
<Calculus> ...YE GODS I have too many DVDs.
<Calculus> ...how do I have so many DVDs and so little money?
<Zibblsnrt> possibly because you have so many DVDs? *ducks*
#21124 [ + | - ] 170
<Road|\{ill> anybody have that picture of that fat chick
sitting on a chair with the little dog underneath it?
<Road|\{ill> i need it
#21123 [ + | - ] 459
<DrStrangelove> Yeah, save your money, man.
<DrStrangelove> It's not too late.
<[DMK]Relvox> im 16
<[DMK]Relvox> its kinda too late
<DrStrangelove> Else you'll end up like the rest of the
population.
<DrStrangelove> Poor and broken.
<DrStrangelove> And ignorant.
<[DMK]Relvox> what is ignorant?
#21122 [ + | - ] 91
<DrStrangelove> I used to swallow coins aswell.
<[DMK]Relvox> im too cheap to do that!
#21110 [ + | - ] 473
<Rjx> was last day of school today
<Rjx> loads of people signed my shirt
<vampireuk> I remember some wise ass signed "wide load" on
mine
<Rjx> I went round writing "www.goatse.cx" on people's
#21069 [ + | - ] 631
Joins: StubbornBitch
(~bocazas@3eb8f587.20db5883.ss.shawcable.net)
<Analu> Dude! Every woman I've ever known just entered the
chat
#21060 [ + | - ] 287
* Hottie_Girl thinks: OK
[Anakin`] Must have come as a shock to you.
[Anakin`] You know...thinking.
[Hottie_Girl] NO
[Hottie_Girl] I'M NOT A DUM BLOND
#21058 [ + | - ] 1569
<vboydx7> Why the hell are all you fucking PS2 fanboy shits
here?!?
*** PSXcellent was kicked by vboydx7
*** GTA43v3r was kicked by vboydx7
*** Sony RoXors was kicked by vboydx7
<Solid Sony> Hang on..!
*** Dead_Shot_Sniper was kicked by vboydx7
*** Solid Sony was kicked by vboydx7
*** Hot2trot was kicked by vboydx7
<vboydx7> Woah, wait a minute, this isn't the Gamecube forum
o_O
*** Quits: vboydx7 (No route to host)
#21052 [ + | - ] 283
<exii> I was just talking to my brother.
<exii> And I said "okay, its 10:10, I have to go boot up the
shower."
#21048 [ + | - ] 41
<Oz> if you move to newcastle that will allow you to live like
a king
<Oz> because you can just nick a house, furniture, etc
<Oz> and then treat yourself to a e-coli mcsalmonella meal
#21044 [ + | - ] 780
<@Mike> LOL. I thought my chair was squeaking
<@Mike> it was a damned bird outside
<@Kimaroo> lol
<%Blacksheep> oil the bird
#21039 [ + | - ] 1310
<Casm> so lemme get this straight...
<Casm> you asked for sex on the 2nd date
<Casm> and when she said no you started crying?
<Fr0id> yep
<Casm> and she felt sorry for ya and put out?
<Fr0id> yep
<Casm> so in order to get pussy, you gotta BE a pussy?
<Fr0id> seems like it
<Casm> i swear to god the whole fuckin world's against me!