hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 11 in Moderation Queue
#15706 [ + | - ] 358
<PetrDoubt> Gee, the people who moved alzheimers.net's DNS
away from us forgot
to tell us.
#15704 [ + | - ] 116
<PetrDoubt> OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per
zone?
<PetrDoubt> If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you
at Verio!
#15703 [ + | - ] 21
<PetrDoubt> "Our local support is in Dallas, sir."
<PetrDoubt> Remember, when you call Dallas, you aren't calling
across the
country, you're calling next door!
#15699 [ + | - ] 547
<outcaste> Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?>
<brian2> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only
deadly disease
affecting millions
#15697 [ + | - ] 949
<EFudd> HAHAHAAHH
<EFudd> Subject: Req For Winframe Account
<EFudd> Hi Jason,
<EFudd> Can U pl... Create this account Immediatly.
<EFudd> User Id : crapolla
<EFudd> Password :crapolla
<EFudd> Other Info
<EFudd> 1) User Full Name:Claudia Rapolla
#15696 [ + | - ] 52
<dem-> how long does it take for best to turn up my FR from
128 to 384?  like
a day or so?
<PetrDoubt> About 5 minutes, I think.  Now ask how long
PacBell takes.
#15690 [ + | - ] 181
<@arfbot> did you ever do that project in elementary school
<@arfbot> where you decided to give your oral presentation in
the form of a rap
<@arfbot> so you'd get your best friend to come up with you
and go "POOT-POOT-CHIT*** CHIT *** POOT-PPOT-CHIT!!!"
<@arfbot> while you rapped
<@arfbot> i think i did that once for my project on nintendo
#15689 [ + | - ] 241
<rone> OH BY THE WAY WE'RE BEING ACQUIRED.  AGAIN.
<rone> hey, at least we didn't merge with tab.net
<PetrDoubt> Yes, we did.
<PetrDoubt> Verio owns tabnet.
<rone> o fuck
#15688 [ + | - ] 198
< aurikan> they never actually get together you realize
< aurikan> after link saves zelda she becomes an uberbitch and
they part ways, zelda fooling around with pages, link
frequenting the local brothel
#15686 [ + | - ] 23
<drGonzo> |     /%      &.&.&|
<drGonzo> | % --    )  .&&&&T|
<drGonzo> |   --       &&&@D.--
<drGonzo> |       ------- -&&&--
* drGonzo problem
#15684 [ + | - ] 178
<kanzen> heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer
pookie.. "Oh come
on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats
it... "
#15682 [ + | - ] 140
<jimmie> i was gonna spell something with our inaddrs so when
you tracerouted
our network it said stuff
#15680 [ + | - ] 152
<PetrDoubt> Geez, I'm going to have to set up a procmail
filter to deal with
employee farewell notices.
#15677 [ + | - ] 201
<ktmguy> Ray from Pac Bell: "Yeah, I can't get this line up."
<ktmguy> Voice in Background at Pac Bell: "Ray, are you sure
we're supposed to
be hearing your personal problems?"
#15676 [ + | - ] 69
<E> and it gets worse. sprint said that ascend techincal
support said the
problem w/ fast busy's on my PRI was due to my radius
server.
#15675 [ + | - ] 131
<Sysco:#cisco> girlfriend#wr e
<Sysco:#cisco> girlfriend#reload
<Sysco:#cisco> there, now she's a blonde
#15668 [ + | - ] 184
<amm> I blew up a $590,000 spectrometer today
<amm> xney: yeah, but its covered under insurance
<amm> I quenched an NMR 700mhz magnet which caused an
explosion in the
computer room destroying all the sparcs in there :D
#15665 [ + | - ] 266
SomeNick: if you tell a girl to never call you again and that
she annoys you.... haven't spoke to her in over a month and
she's msg'd you a few times on aim but you didn't reply... do
you think calling her and telling her it was all a big joke is
believable?
#15663 [ + | - ] 401
<WintrHawk> you know... 100hz is the resonance freq of a
chicken head
<WintrHawk> a power company found that out the hard way
#15659 [ + | - ] 37
<toonz> mae-west1#sh access-lists 1
<toonz> mae-west1#oh shit
<toonz>           ^
<toonz> % Invalid input detected at '^' marker.
#15655 [ + | - ] 241
<Mystery> singapore is nice
<_eight> pussy is so cheap there.
<Mystery> there aren't any hookers in singapore
<Mystery> you have to cross the border to malaysia for htat
<_eight> mystery, you just been hanging out in the wrong
singaporean cemeteries.
#15654 [ + | - ] 595
<Dead_Poets_Society> Phuser has this talent to point out the
obvious
<Phuser> Dead_Poets_Society is receiving oral sex from a
hamster
#15647 [ + | - ] 438
<CaMR0N> why does everyone call me cumron?
<drunkers> probably and honest mistake
<CaMR0N> but everyone?
<drunkers> did you tell them you were gay?
<CaMR0N> yes cause im honest with everyone
<drunkers> maybe its not an honest mistake
#15641 [ + | - ] 6735
<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off
while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!
#15636 [ + | - ] 261
<KB8> im sick of you crazypale
<crazypale> im sick of you to
<KB8> no im sick of you crazypale
<crazypale> no ,im sick of you to
<KB8> you gte on my damn nerves
<crazypale> you make my stomache turn asswipe
<KB8> i gotta go ill pm you later
<crazypale> ok l8r
#15634 [ + | - ] 222
<drunkers> do you know who i am?
<vinnieT> nope
<drunkers> i could rip your eyes out and stick them in your
knee and make your knee read a book
<vinnieT> i dont read
#15625 [ + | - ] 263
<GaRlic_Iv> wanna hear a joke
<drunkers> hold on let me get my headphones
#15624 [ + | - ] 327
<rtwh0> why are you upset?
<sugadon> who the hell says i was god damn upset? huh?
<rtwh0> umm never mind
<sugadon> i hate people who spread god damn rumors, muther
fucker , god damn
#15618 [ + | - ] 360
<Icaby> i think im like 5'1 260 <Paul_Bunyan> Cool, a human
sphere
#15615 [ + | - ] 34
<+GoodScrat> wyatt: how's bounce?
<+Wyatt> GoodScrat: decent
<+Wyatt> makin a little money off of it
<+GoodScrat> how much have you made off of it total to date?
<+Wyatt> hmm... maybe 4K
<+GoodScrat> over how many years?
<+Wyatt> 1
<+GoodScrat> 4k a year, thats not bad profit, when does your
company go public?
#15614 [ + | - ] 364
<GaRlic> how you like my new name?
<drunkers> it stinks
#15612 [ + | - ] 553
<drunkers> hey what name am i under?
<[Piratez]> drunkers
<drunkers> what?
<[Piratez]> huh?
<drunkers> i asked what name am i under?
<[Piratez]> drunkers you fool
<drunkers> never mind ill ask someone else
#15610 [ + | - ] 238
<r00> man making photoshop swap out on a 512MB system is like
hitting cervix with a 2" penis
<r00> forget i said that
#15603 [ + | - ] 135
*** treker has joined #ircop
<treker> what is this channel for?
<_zenon> sex channel treker
<treker> AH, I see...
<treker> well then by all means, go ahead, have fun...i'll
just go run some errands.
#15594 [ + | - ] 302
<Nani-chan> hey folks, can we keep it semi clean right now? my
parents might be watching and i dont wanna get in trouble
<Nani-chan> crack: 14 y.o girl, you  dumbass cockless bitch
<RikisuuDelta> quite hypocritical if you ask me
#15593 [ + | - ] 207
? jimmy/#hadm ----- jimmy's work productivity rating as of
2:21PM --------
? jimmy/#hadm 0% | --------------------------- | 100%
? jimmy/#hadm   *- 0.01% (checked email)
#15591 [ + | - ] 63
<Ayashi> computer knowlegde... YUCK! >_<
<sig> hrm, maybe your moto should be: knowledge=yuck
#15584 [ + | - ] 465
<synnex> AND I'M LIKE "THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION I JUST WROTE
ENTITLED 'HITLER ON ICE'... IT'S LIKE CATS BUT WITH LESS CATS
AND MORE HITLER... AND IT'S ALL ON ICE!!"
#15579 [ + | - ] 252
<enJoy> just the other day
<enJoy> I told Chris "So I hear your girl is pregnant"
<enJoy> he goes "Ya and when I find the dude I'm gonna
strangle him"
<[zT]Lunchie> =-0
#15574 [ + | - ] 656
[Join] n0t_4cc3pt4bl3
(hurry-now@ip121.cleveland4.oh.pub-ip.psi.net)
<WD_40> your nick is not acceptable.
<n0t_4cc3pt4bl3> indeed
#15572 [ + | - ] 242
<@:s4t4n> #christian can't join channel (channel is full)
<@:s4t4n> guess no one else is gettin into heaven!
#15571 [ + | - ] 32
<quarterz> "if you email me, i will kill all your processes.
if you telephone me, i will kill all your processes and delete
all your files.  if you stop by to see me, i will kill all
your processes, delete all your files, and remove your
account."
#15570 [ + | - ] 391
<piglet3> [info] #gaysm      5       Don't f*&% with the topic
PIG
<piglet3> They are into homosexual sadomasochism, but they
can't bring themselves to spell out `fuck'.
#15567 [ + | - ] 320
Bezoar    of all the liver disorders one could get, hep A is
pretty good. you get it, you feel like shit for a little
while, it goes away, and you're immune for life.
eval      sounds like religion
#15566 [ + | - ] 322
Leftist   i like songs where they count or spell things, to
fill space.
Eeyore    so you're a big fan of sesame street songs, leftist?
#15565 [ + | - ] 288
pinkboy   so, like, how the FUCK do you let your wife get to
1200lbs?
ScottM    <pinkboy> so, like, how the FUCK do you fuck your
1200lb wife?
pinkboy   I can't imagine that it would be too difficult,
unless of course you're picky about finding the real vagina.
#15562 [ + | - ] 283
<Tobal> looks like the UK is working to make pot a
non-arestable offence
<ssrit> I'd move there.
<ssrit> Where is that?
#15561 [ + | - ] 141
*** WD_40 is now known as Memory_Leak
<Memory_Leak> hmm... I could become a faulty breast
augmentation and change to Mamory_Leak
#15557 [ + | - ] 254
<ismell> drove like 2.5 hrs
<travolta> 15 year olds can drive?
<ismell> permit
<MattDC> shit smelly, where do you live
<ismell> colorado
<travolta> they let kids do anything in colorado, like have
guns and trench coats
#15553 [ + | - ] 130
*** Now Talking in #TavernOfGor
*** Eskimo has joined #TavernOfGor
*Eskimo* just play along.  These guys are freaky
<LordMar> Welcome to my Tavern.
<elsa{Mar}> May I bring you a drink Master Cruentus?
<Cruentus> a Ka la na will be fine, thank you.
*Eskimo* It's a drink I think lol
<elsa{Mar}> Master Eskimo, may I serve you as well?
<Eskimo> Sure I'll just have a beer
*** LordMar sets mode: +b *!*@*.acl.mr.au
*** LordMar has kicked Eskimo from #TavernOfGor (LordMar)