hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 11 in Moderation Queue
#14860 [ + | - ] 676
[01:03am] ·ct· last night
[01:03am] ·ct· my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the
bathroom
[01:03am] ·ct· and she walks back in
[01:03am] ·ct· and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ·ct· and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ·ct· and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am]  Necro  ...
#14854 [ + | - ] 232
<egypt> how do you spell it.. caffiene or caffeine?
<Nighthawk> Caffeine
<StarThorn> I spell it: L - I - F - E. ;-)
<Nighthawk> C8H10N4O2 :)
#14850 [ + | - ] 273
(@HS): yes, i was around a very powerfull political figure,
and all i could think about was banging his daughter
#14843 [ + | - ] 305
<Azadre> Computers kick ass
<Western_Chee> my gaydar totally wasnt functioning today
<Azadre> My ass hurts
<Western_Chee> i was about to buy shit from express for men
*** Western_Chee was kicked by Puedlfor (Puedlfor)
*** Azadre was kicked by Puedlfor (Puedlfor)
<RunninRaven> Pued, you are a saint
<Puedlfor> I do what I can
#14838 [ + | - ] 389
<IllusionX> Windows 2000 Professional, Service Pack 2 (5.0 -
2195) CPU: 1-Intel Pentium II, 497MHz, 512KB L2 cache Vcore: v
Uptime: 2w 1d 1h 16m 53s Resolution: 800x600 32bit 200Hz RAM:
Usage: 49/128MB (38.28%) Temps: Time: 00:44:35 Date: 09/07/
16502
<abcbooze> whats it like in the year 16502?
<IllusionX> exactly the same as i was just running downstairs
and come back..
<abcbooze> apparently they don't speak good english in the
future.
#14833 [ + | - ] 523
--> guest (~SportsCar@166.111.6.93) has joined #lgl
* guest ´ó½Ð£º¾ÈÃü°¡£¡ ¾ÈÃü°¡£¡
<khalek> you seem to be a little mixed up
<khalek> this is not #perl
#14827 [ + | - ] 470
(ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
(ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.
#14826 [ + | - ] 486
<^Matt^> I didn't win the lotto btw
<^Matt^> :/
<Windogg> doh
<^Matt^> yeah I really thought I had a chance this time
<^Matt^> like this was the one
<^Matt^> :)
<Windogg> Kinda like the time I felt this one girl was "the
one"  I got a tight queasy feeling in my stomach, my heart
started beating faster, my breath quickened, I started
sweating, and I got all weak
<Windogg> Turned out to be undercooked hamburgers
#14817 [ + | - ] 957
<Ziggy> anyone know where i can download ICQ?
<Assmann> ziggy get on icq ill send it to u
<Ziggy> dude are you a fucking moron?
#14809 [ + | - ] 21
<Einstein> What does A.B.C.D.E.F. stand for?
<Einstein> Time's up!
<Einstein> The answer is American Boys Club for the Defense of
Errol Flynn
#14804 [ + | - ] 278
<filo> edwardo asked me if "i did any virgins" tonight
<filo> what an upstanding individual
#14799 [ + | - ] 576
<TsN|EvilMonkey> hmm
<TsN|EvilMonkey> im having an orgasm
<TsN|EvilMonkey> wtf
#14794 [ + | - ] 215
<blur_> i just got a buncha penises flashed at me :(
<blur_> i somehow setup cuseeme to accept all incoming
requests
<blur_> and like
<blur_> theres naked men out there apparently
#14792 [ + | - ] 53
<collie> Why did  irc2-1.netcom.com sets mode: -o collie deop
me?
<Temps> cause you wasn't opped first
<collie> I was opped now. Why did netcom deop me.
<collie> I can see some other server deoping me but not my own
that I pay every month.
*** collie has left channel #netcom
#14790 [ + | - ] 156
<end> he starts harassing me. and tries to flood
<end> haha
*** Signoff: end (Excess Flood)
#14788 [ + | - ] 179
<s___> nair is scary
<s___> ive always been afraid i would go too near it at the
grocery store
<s___> and it would spray me in the crotch or something
#14787 [ + | - ] 159
<colrebel> i hate it when a coworker spots you blowing the
contents of your
nostrils into a trash can
#14782 [ + | - ] -76
<luqin> DO NOT CALL PEARLJAM CANDYASS
<luqin> OR I WILL CHECK YOU INTO THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL
<luqin> ON THE CORNER OF JABRONI DRIVE
<luqin> AND KNOW YOUR ROLE BLVD.
#14781 [ + | - ] 266
<throwback> you mean to say that someone overreacted on irc?
<throwback> when the fuck does that happen?
#14776 [ + | - ] 1048
<Psinic> windows 98 is like that drunk uncle that thinks he
knows everything and always tries to convince you he was a CIA
operative, and when you argue, he gets violent and then passes
out.
#14775 [ + | - ] 159
<webba> A movie doesn't have to have 3 gay guys talking about
bagels to be good.
#14761 [ + | - ] 295
<deltax> your not to smart
<SofaKing> too smart
<SofaKing> your not that bright yourself
#14755 [ + | - ] 4
<morbid> shh we are sleeping.
<myn> morbid you awake?
#14753 [ + | - ] 180
<morbid> I had this plan
<morbid> i was going to join the band
<morbid> and kill myself, and leave my tuba there.
<morbid> it would explain it all
#14750 [ + | - ] 588
<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like
implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to
like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your
friends that you're dead
#14747 [ + | - ] 140
* lastgrrl silently chuckles very loud
#14746 [ + | - ] 255
<|dxb|-XeS`006-> i have a nuclear bomb
<Mercury}W{> I bet its in your pants too.
<ONP-Trugoy> great now this channel is being monitored by the
gov't
#14745 [ + | - ] 184
<ninrh> like shes cool, but seems like maybe the kind of
person who goes back to their high school and blows it up
kinda thing
#14743 [ + | - ] 47
<GoDMoNi> it's like if someone asked what i liked about myself
<GoDMoNi> i'd have to say, "cause i give good head"
#14741 [ + | - ] 290
<[KoF]Pyramus> you wound me, sir
<EdgeCrusher> sorry
<EdgeCrusher> ill hit harder
#14738 [ + | - ] 149
<tortoise> what should i name my turtles?
<archon> name one kurt, and one courtney, and blow one's head
off with a shotgun
#14733 [ + | - ] 253
<tortoise> this channel is only big enough for one
slut.....and i aint' leaving
#14729 [ + | - ] 242
<Sin> there must be a better way to get money then to actulyl
get a job
#14727 [ + | - ] 276
<DistORt> is anyone here actually an op
<DistORt> or are you all just clever lines of script
#14722 [ + | - ] 36
<meatpie> Cuz I'm a mean nasty cruel asshole who wants to make
the entire world eat a loaf of his shit while he stands on
high and has his schlong adored by a bunch of really hot red
heads with bald snatch!!!!!!!!!!!
<dorqus> meatpie: you sound like marilyn manson
#14719 [ + | - ] 50
<nonplused> anal sex is funny
<nonplused> but hey
<nonplused> not that id turn that shit down
#14718 [ + | - ] 290
<ChlOrPh> it's rillY frustrating to wanna fuck someone who
doesn't exist
#14716 [ + | - ] 167
<eden2> t_r: heh, patrick and i went and saw star wars last
night......and i saw the WHOLE thing this time
<eden2> ...the whole movie, that is
#14714 [ + | - ] 149
<hellraiser> dude theres shit more important than grls
<eV-RaVaGeD> dude shes fuckin hot and she wants me :)
<eV-RaVaGeD> and theres more to life than Q1DM Tourneys
<hellraiser> yeah rights its prolly jus some 30yr old fat guy
in his basement waitin to meet u somewhere to ass rape u in a
public bathroom n video tape it, make copies and sell em on
eBay for 9.99
#14712 [ + | - ] 77
<antivert> flah. semen's nasty.
<antivert> except.. on nachos..
#14711 [ + | - ] 483
<Snacktify> what happens if a girl who is in the olympics is
going to have her period during competition?
<deltax> then they put off the 100m cunnilingus for a week
<deltax> "this event cancelled due to bad turf" etc
#14710 [ + | - ] -150
<zombie-x> nothing wrong with a little punanny in yer fuckin
mouth
<zombie-x> suck that clit like a fuckin tequila worm
#14709 [ + | - ] 228
<deltax> i saw a dog teabag another dog today
#14707 [ + | - ] 213
<Tomes> rpenguin is the picture of credibility, you know.
<Tomes> rpenguin is the standard of integrity to whom all
others are compared
<Tomes> when i meet a man, i ask, in true socratic method, "is
this a greater man, or a lesser man, than rpenguin?"
#14705 [ + | - ] 171
<Brujah_> Bubble Gum Cute: (adjective) Conventionally cute,
sweet, and lending itself well to being chewed up for a while
and then spit out when the user is done with it.  eg. "She was
OK...not hot, but bubble gum cute."
#14704 [ + | - ] 374
<PTM> when i was ten...
<PTM> (interesting story, no?)
<PTM> i was messing around with a neighbor girl
<PTM> and like
<PTM> it was mostly naked wrestling
<PTM> with penetration
<PTM> but no orgasms.
<Damsel> you fucking fucked at 10?
<PTM> well if that's your definition of fuck, i suppose
#14703 [ + | - ] 44
<blue_> Bullshit I am very smart dl and you fucking no it
#14702 [ + | - ] 236
<th0m> i've had cocaine stuck in my ass since then
<PTM> *snort*
#14701 [ + | - ] 216
<th0m> have you ever had a booger that looked like it was
designed by h. r. giger
#14700 [ + | - ] 9
<b0ing> I listen dark evil jungle and pounding acidy goa, not
happy 'i love you, you love me, lets go in the bathroom and
fuck because we are fags' music.