hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#714240 [ + | - ] 550
<FFD> I was just wondering where anyone could get 99 virgins
together in one place... Then I remembered IRC.
#714239 [ + | - ] 446
<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> fuck
<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> my cat died
<@Surtsey> LOL
<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> ...
-!- Vlad_The1Inhaler
[~joel@c-24-91-210-223.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] has left #sebo
<@Surtsey> oops
#714207 [ + | - ] -19
* Calydor raises an eyebrow.
<Calydor> Weren't you, y'know, banned?
<Killian> what's it look like to you? :>
<Killian> jive turkey
* Calydor checks the ban-list.
<Calydor> Looks like to me you got a different IP.
<Killian> news to me. Whaddya wanna do about it sucka? :>
* Calydor sets mode: +b *!
*@adsl-69-232-222-88.dsl.pltn13.pacbell.net
* Killian was kicked by Calydor (This.)
* Calydor coughs.
<Locandez> What a twat.
<Calydor> Yup.
*Killian* I may be banned, but you're still a furry. I'd say I
came out better in the deal :>
<Calydor> Bash.org rule #1: Don't call the guy with an @
names.
#714195 [ + | - ] 733
<Tom86> can i ask you a personal question?
<MoHaWk> 8 inches
#713428 [ + | - ] 1593
<Crimson> Damnit, I have to work in 1 hr!!
<Crimson> Damn these IRc's... they steal my sleep like the
blacks steal tv's.
<BigJP> I'm black.
<Crimson> Its a plasma! Its in the den, just dont hurt my
family!
#713274 [ + | - ] 635
<Gig> Bah, drunk students setting off the firealarm to the
building, silent one too, so direct to the fire station. So we
had some fireman knocking on our door trying to get us out
<Gig> and my flatmate who answered the door shouted out "Hey
lads! look the stripper's here!"
<Gig> you would be surprised how fast people got out of their
rooms
#713158 [ + | - ] 1006
A> I lost my virginity around 5 years ago.
Rice> Virgin by choice
Random> heh
Pork> Whose choice Rice?
#713155 [ + | - ] 425
<MightyOne> How do you circumsize a whale?
<ChubbyFrog02> Very carefully?
<MightyOne> Four skin divers.
#713150 [ + | - ] 577
Viki: chris.....say NO to peadophiles
Epo: um..
Epo: NO
Viki: oh fuck.. I walked into that
#713147 [ + | - ] 434
-!- lightman [~light@83.225.150.69] has joined #japan
<lightman> i must find a japanese wife
<lucke> google-san.
#713133 [ + | - ] 1564
Oli: lol
Oli: my gf just won one of my ebay auctions
Oli: was supposed to be my xmas present
Oli: she didnt knew my ebay name
#713132 [ + | - ] 522
Kamikazefish17:  sweet.  im at work but no one is here.  yet
again
Mikelucky8:  That sucks. Also, Disney is ruining ANOTHER book
that I read as a child by making it a movie.
Kamikazefish17:  which one now?
Mikelucky8:  the Bridge to Terabithia. It's supposed to be
about some kids finding some secluded forest place and growing
attached to it like an alternate reality, but instead Disney
is skipping the symbolism and metaphor and going straight for
freaking robopirates and beavers with collanders on their
heads
#713127 [ + | - ] 764
<rhpot1991> Eighty percent of our young adults (according to
National Geographic) were not able to find Iraq on the map.
<formatc> oh man that's classy
<bueller> they are ahead of their time rhpot1991
<bueller> since in five years there will be no Iraq on the map
#713125 [ + | - ] -316
Mark1: yeh my house is emo
Mark1: it cuts its walls
#713121 [ + | - ] 296
poetically kyle:  my gramma's funny...we were driving behind
a short bus and she saw all the helmets and she was like "OH
LOOK! HOCKEY PLAYERS!"
#713109 [ + | - ] 27
<Noobles> i'm not getting any presents
<Yolmer> uh-huh
<Ravus> you're getting a small lump of COAL
<Ravus> due to molesting small children all year
<Ravus> santa doesn t approve
<Ravus> THEMS HIS
#713082 [ + | - ] 111
quiet >> What's faster than a speeding bullet?
eskaypey >> chuck norris
quiet >> a Jew with a coupon.
#713081 [ + | - ] 894
<@Raekiel> .....just had a very blonde moment
<@Raekiel> was lighting the stove and accidentally burned
myself
<@Raekiel> and for a very brief moment
<@Raekiel> wondered why the fuck the flames were so hot, as I
had it on low....
#713079 [ + | - ] 464
<superrambo> (CRAZY/CUTE)-(PAST RELATIONSHIPS)+(CURRENT
OUTLOOK)-(INTELLIGENCE)=COMPATABILITY
<superrambo> IT IS THE CALLED THE "SHE'S NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS,
TRUST ME" FORMULA
<monkeylice> love is blind
<monkeylice> lust is deaf
<superrambo> PSYCHOSIS IS OBVIOUS
#713059 [ + | - ] 2356
<SaintAlvus> Does the name Doctor Pavlov ring a bell?
#713056 [ + | - ] 478
sionanomics: know anyone that knows loads about cars?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: My mate Jeeves.
sionanomics: he online?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: www.ask.com
sionanomics: :(
#713015 [ + | - ] -283
<kunk> sigh i wish i had a piece of the shuttle to sell
<kunk> i should just bust up an air conditioner
<kunk> and be like "the cooling mechinism from the space
shuttle!"
#712887 [ + | - ] 402
<murrrr> *bites tommah's hand off*
<murrrr> it must be pretty hard to type with only one hand
<FraudulentTommah> I won't respond to that
#712885 [ + | - ] 932
<DarkPaladin> You know how people don't spea properly ost of
the time?
<DarkPaladin> *most
<DarkPaladin> *speak
<Tiddles> I do now.
#712703 [ + | - ] 1077
<frumpy> I see nintendo's new system is making people smile.
<frumpy> it's only a matter of time before a GTA ports comes
out with the title 'Now you can *really* beat that nigga up
and take his car!'
<frumpy> I'll bet is sells millions of copies while parents
everywhere just throw their hands up and say things like 'what
am I supposed to do about it?!?!'
<SForce> they'll just be happy their kids are getting some
kind of exercise
<frumpy> 'yes honey.. I know he's in there beating up
prostitutes.. but remember when he used to just _sit_ there
and do it?'
#712336 [ + | - ] 2
<ken> man, I got an F on my stupid test.
<Christopher> Think of it as -A, not F.
#710728 [ + | - ] 1495
Wraith2041: Man, even soulless corporations are telling the
RIAA to shut their goddamn mouths. I'm betting soon Satan
himself will burst through the RIAA president's floor and say,
"Cease, minion. My Avril Lavigne songs are not to be trifled
with."
#710307 [ + | - ] -51
SyntaxError: Nanci Palosi is offically the Speaker of the
House now
GlowStickNinja: Who?
SyntaxError: Annoying bitch that marched with NAMBLA in the
Gay Rights Parade and looks like something the dog vomited up
and ate, then shit out again.
GlowStickNinja: The chick that Stephen Colbert did a hand
turkey of?
SyntaxError: Trust Colbert to bridge the gap between Politics
and Idiots
#710252 [ + | - ] 898
(BR4M) you take the good with the bad
(BR4M) its like with the anorexic chicks
(JuJu`) well, bad outweighs the good, so its not worth it.
(Ravenclaw) anything outweighs an anorexic chick
#710161 [ + | - ] 463
<Ritz> I had the myspace so I could keep in contact with
certain friends
<Ritz> I decided I needed new friends
#709974 [ + | - ] 1500
kooooorlin: dude I fucking backed up into this car today!
lhendz: what the hell. how'd you do that?
kooooorlin: There was this fucking seagull in the parking lot
at best buy like eating someones tire and I was watching it
while backing up.
lhendz:.....
lhendz: what'd you do?
kooooorlin: waited for the person to come back, and when they
did, they looked at their car, then at mine, and said "SOMEONE
HIT OUR CARS!"
#709343 [ + | - ] 2039
tarheelborn15: Eminem is the greatest rapper alive.
Luda848: Holy Shit....How many rappers have died today????
#709297 [ + | - ] 989
<sulfor> my "" key is broken
<fahrenheit> Ok.. that leaves acdfghjlpqrtuvwxz
#709241 [ + | - ] 554
Nash: waited on hold to tech support for 27 minutes... it
literaly reconnected as someone finaly picked up
Keith: gotta love that
*** Nash has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
* Graham can hear the swearing from here!
#709214 [ + | - ] 1222
<@Hydro> so I'm trying to install this software, right?
<@Hydro> And my PC won't install it...
<@Hydro> I'm telling you, it's either my pc broke, or me being
stupid.
<@Hydro> Has to be one of the three.
#709158 [ + | - ] 214
<Mrod> i earned 1 point of gay for reading a guy's blog btw
<BL> omg you have the high score!
<BL> please enter your initials
#709087 [ + | - ] 3850
<@ZoFreX> goddammit
<@ZoFreX> I forgot the definition of irony
<@ZoFreX> so I went to look it up on Wikipedia
<@ZoFreX> but Wikipedia is down
<@ZoFreX> AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER THAT'S IRONIC OR NOT
#708787 [ + | - ] 1112
<sm-> how would i check a mysql database to see if a table
exists?
<Alpha232> put down a table cloth, if it doesn't turn into a
rug, then it exists
#708719 [ + | - ] 671
James: I have a problem.  My iTunes can't find any of the
files...
Paul: Double click on the songs and click find
Paul: then find where they are
James: one problem
James: i don't know where they are
Paul: well, it looks like you and iTunes have something in
common
#708656 [ + | - ] 963
<VFR8> My band teacher let me try to learn tuba yesterday in
the music room when there was nobody else there
<VFR8> I tried blowing too hard and I passed out X|
<VFR8> He came in at the end of the period and found me
unconscious on the floor with the tuba lying next to me
<VFR8> I wish I could have seen the look on his face...
#708570 [ + | - ] 557
GameFreak7744: I could be Einstein.
GameFreak7744: E=MC... shit where is the squared key...
#708481 [ + | - ] 132
element: i feel lucky because i won every advertisement game
today...i have so many free ringtones its not even funny
#708460 [ + | - ] 976
<Admiral_Bayls-UltraLite> The Olsen twins are like dual core
CPUs. They can share my load anytime.
#708359 [ + | - ] 850
NovaScotia > yes.. us Canadians.. always quiet.. clean.. keep
to ourselves.. never bother anyone... sounds like how they
always describe serial killers eh?
#708017 [ + | - ] 498
<bmg505> ja running internet services on windows iis is like
playing russian roulette with a glock
#707944 [ + | - ] 542
SPUNNEER:  whats goth
fist meets colon:  Goth is emo on 5,000 calories a day.
#707911 [ + | - ] 1325
<jaban> IRC channels are like houses...
<jaban> You can kick your friends out of your house for any
reason you want, even if you're being stupid and unreasonable.
You can even kick them out for no reason at all. It's YOUR
house.
<jaban> Now imagine if 3-year-olds owned all the houses.
<jaban> That's IRC.
#707848 [ + | - ] 797
<ssdd534> arg... whats the best way to deal with a .rar on
solaris?
<Atomix> rm
#707847 [ + | - ] 777
<nefzen539> What's wrong with maroon 5?
<pr0nstar> They're a boyband, girls like boy bands
<nefzen539> based on the evidence... i must be gay
<pr0nstar> it does seem likely...
<nefzen539>It must be that every male i've come into contact
with is horrendously ugly cos i haven't been attracted to any
<pr0nstar> as unlikely as that sounds it is more likely than a
straight male liking maroon 5
#707810 [ + | - ] 430
<richard> To be fair to windows, there is one thing you can do
on it that you can't do on Unix
<teifion> Can you do it on my Mac?
<richard> No, it is unique to Windows
<teifion> What is it?
<richard> You can defrag stuff