<jackal-> someone guess what my cat will type when i drop it on my keyboard <jackal-> hello i'm a very intelligent cat, save me from my cruel master and free me from this prison <jackal-> omg <jackal-> bad cat
<BathTub> isn't that your homepage JtHM? <JtHM> no, mine is www.bathtubsdenofaggotry.com <BathTub> ah yeah that shrine site you made <JtHM> worshipping the gayest man alive
<Ookey> it's the pop ups that I just want to rip out of the computer, and stomp on repeatedly <Ookey> especially when, like the one I just had, the only way to get rid of the 10 or so that you have + ones that are opening every 2-3 secs is to close down all of ie, and loose any pages etc that you have <JtHM> are you going to that 'YES, I AM LOOKING AT GAY PORN' page?
<[Bryan]> cams: Damn I'm ugly man.. how do you hang around me? <cams> i have no idea <cams> it might be my blindness
<teste_fly> "um yes, i'd like to withdraw from life please" <teste_fly> "will that be checking or savings?" <teste_fly> "hmm, i think i just want to cancel my account"
<aversion> i have an idea <aversion> how bout i show you my middle finger and you get offended <aversion> kthxbye
<dr_rotcod> you know its days like these when you say to yourself, 'If I don't become famous, how am I going to kill these people and get away with it?'
<helminthes> haikus are real gay <helminthes> cause they put limitations <helminthes> on syllables used
<StoneCold> AND AFTER OL' STONE COLD IS DONE WITH THE ROCK, HE'S FIXIN TO WHIP HIS WIFE'S ASS!!
<helminthes> what girls have to realize is that every other guy is wrong and i am right
<aversion> i was takin a dump today in the stalls <aversion> and someone stuck their dick through a hole <aversion> i didnt even get to finish
<Doc> hmm.. IE crashed <Doc> but i suppose it was my fault... after all, i did press teh "Back" button <Doc> what was i thinking... <cactoid> you madman <Tippytoes> risktaker <Doc> i like to live on the edge
<Doc> hmm.. AOL has this great new thing where you can chat with your friends online! <Bru> yeah I saw the ad on TV. that would be cool - then I wouldn't have to chat with this bunch of losers and social misfits
<cactoid> you love the Colonel <cactoid> I like KFC chippies <cactoid> and zinger burgers <cactoid> the rest tastes ok while you're eating it but it's just fucking gross greasy fried vermin <Bayls> Yeah, the chips are ace. <Bayls> The actual chicken pieces are shit. <Bayls> You may as well sculpt some lard into a shape the looks like a drumstick, then coat it with butter. Then roll it in lard, then melt fat onto it, then fry it in animal fat, dip it in lard then eat it. <Bayls> I think 10 out of the 11 secrec "herbs and spices" are "lard". <Bayls> Mmmm, making me hungry. Might go get a 21 piece bucket. :) *** Signoff: Bayls
<Dane> i had a nice shave just then <Dane> it turned out really well for mew <Dane> purposely left just enough growth so that i still appear young and "hip" but still sufficiently mature and masculine <cactoid> in other words, gay
<Tippytoes> i have kids in the room <Tippytoes> is it safe to look at? <bark> i don't think they mention any words like CUNT on that page, no <tm> just hide it behind your anal porn
<Chris H> I'm going to marry someone with no eyes and no teeth. <CharlEnie> haha <Zilv3r> LmAo LoL! <Chris H> It isn't THAT funny... do u even know why she <Zilv3r> yeah!! so she doesn't bite you... <CharlEnie> Does that mean u dont know why she shouldn't have eyes? <Zilv3r> no.. wait.. i know i know!!! so she cant see you? <CharlEnie> LoL!
<hakan> I hate it when the girl looks into the camera during a blow job. It totally destroys the fourth wall, which is so very important in a porno flick.
[dodgelap ] fuck [dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account [dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ? * Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
[arkZZZ ] Hi! I`m having trouble playing a couple of divx-movies.. I only get "No combination of filters could be found to render the stream". Does anyone know what to do? [Synoptica] arkZZZ: download the fkn codec? [arkZZZ ] fkn? where?
<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that class that i hadn't studied for at all. so i jumped out the window and right when i hit the ground my cell phone went off <hakan> yipes <rafeil> yeh <helminthes> and that's how it all started <helminthes> how was your day
<jamesm> is ntpd 4.0.99k23 ok? <tm> yeah, giving remote root is now a documented feature <sisko> laff <jamesm> well, i know the answer now and i'm not telling you cunts
<KKKBitch> im making jason take me out for dinner !!%^&*) <KKKBitch> i have my speech ready for when he walks in the door and all. <Bayls> KK - What's your speech? <KKKBitch> "if you take me out for dinner, i won't give you any of my PMT shit - the end" <KKKBitch> i used to say "if you take me out for dinner, i'll suck your dick" but he soon found that i was lying.
<rafeil> i had a dream i had 3 penis's of varying legnth and
direction
<rafeil> and 2 girls were sucking on them, but they were
sucking on the numb ones. only one had feeling. it was like
the head of the hydra myth
<helminthes> no.. not the numb ones.. oh god no.. {wakes up
violently in cold sweat}
<aquacavi> well what if i told you i was pregnant <helminthes> IS IT MINE?!?! <aquacavi> yours or the dogs <helminthes> IT'S THE DOG'S <helminthes> IF HE DENIES IT TELL HIM HE CAN'T TALK
<helminthes> hey i have a good pick up line <helminthes> "if you vomit i'm not fucking holding your hair back" <helminthes> "later"
<dr_rotcod> he's an ex marine and i was drunk so i said, "alright marine, kill me with one touch!" <hakan> holy shit. wrong thing to say <dr_rotcod> and all the sudden i was in some weird hold having my shoulder ripped apart <dr_rotcod> and then i fell on the ground laughing/crying <hakan> did it break?? <dr_rotcod> he looked at his hands and went, "oh my god! the demons of the american military have shone through and i am hopeless!! HOPELESS"
<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure <cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of business
<hakan> mine is bent upwards but the base points down <hakan> its like a plant trying to grow to get more sunlight <helminthes> yeah except it's your weiner <hakan> but theres moss on it
<Kaff> how festy are we talking ? <tm> makes your armpits seem like surgical theatres
<Bobski> goconnect. the internet equivalent of the dole. <jamesm> what is it? <Bobski> a freebie internet service for those who blew their last 5 bucks on mcdonalds <jamesm> how do they make money? <Bobski> you install a wanky dialer and it spatters your screen with ads. mostly mcdonalds ads actually :) <jamesm> in case you find another fiver
<tm> hmm, our call centre manager just asked how do i turn off capslock <Zaph0d> tm: Ctrl-Alt-DEl <tm> she's crying on her keyboard now
<dr_rotcod> and you.. you'll be doing something stupid <dr_rotcod> like skateboarding
<Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on the shitter. <Kaff> how is that a pumpkin <mmm> gross <Kaff> how is that normal. <Kaff> who does that <Kaff> I WANT NAMES <Kaff> (and numbers)
<esthar> man this guy DEFINITELY ripped me off with beer the other night <esthar> he made me pay the same amount for a six pack that i could get a 12 pack for <helminthes> you better watch out.. next thing you know he'll wipe out your family and steal your identity
<Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here <Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life. <spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm <Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit. <spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate
<cactoid> you're all gay <cactoid> and those of you who are married, everyone knows it's a marriage of convenience
<helminthes> was the party cool? <helminthes> like did you fuck any hoes <rafeil> heh, no hoes <helminthes> not even one? i mean at least one right <rafeil> i just drank a little and talked <helminthes> fucked her right in the face right <rafeil> yeah <helminthes> she was gagging out all your children just like a bitch
<tm> meetings, the alternative to work <Dane> meetings, the PRACTICAL alternative to work <Rushn> Masterbation, the FUN alternative to work
<sisko> I want to crawl up into the place I once was. <mandi> the end of your dad's cock?
<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic"
<sisko> Q. What's the height of conceit? <sisko> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. <mmm> i do that <mmm> "oh god"
<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :| <monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder <Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it.
<helminthes> that's like one of those dennis miller jokes.. no one gets it, no one cares then everyone forgets about it and an afghan woman dies of heatstroke
<helminthes> hey i had a vision today of some fat old man with
a dog sitting on campus and he goes, "hey, pet my dog" and i
say, "heh no thanks i gotta go to class." "but the dog's cute,
look at him." "no man, see ya" "DOG HATER!!! DOG HATER!! HE
JUST HIT MY DOG IN THE FACE" {i run away}