hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 11 in Moderation Queue
#8465 [ + | - ] 530
<undrewb> I'm gonna make my thesis opensource so developers
all round the world can work on it for me
#8464 [ + | - ] 221
<jamesm> what's a java strategy?
<undrewb> jamesm : its a paradigm shift to e-leverage your
legacy OLTP system to implement pervasive business systems
<jamesm> is it like a builder with a 'brick strategy' ?
#8463 [ + | - ] 183
<Ryk> after the man has shot his wad is the perfect time for
the woman to vacate the room and quietly catch up on a bit of
beaver bashing in the privacy of the kitchen.
<Tippytoes> shouldn't she have a satisfied afterglow?
<Ryk> she can glow when my dinner's ready.
#8462 [ + | - ] 223
<Rafeil> wimberly!
<Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her
name would be kimberly wimberly
#8461 [ + | - ] 183
<Mandi> kaff still looking at dicks?
<Kaff> nah sharks
<Mandi> same diff
<jamesn> cocks with teef
<Kaff> yeah they all make you bleed in the end
#8458 [ + | - ] 347
<Punk-In-Drublic> THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SUCK COCK ...Mousey,
Dave, Vas, Belindah..........YALL CAN GAT FUCKED COS IM DRUNK
WOOOOOOOOO ......BOOBIES WOOOOOOOOOO'
<Mousey> why am i first
<Mousey> thats really insulting
<vas-deferens> because your the best at iut
<mk4> why am i second ?
<vas-deferens> shit im third
<vas-deferens> i better work on my technique
<vas-deferens> at least im beating a chick
<Mousey> hahahah
#8457 [ + | - ] 429
<thrase> i hate programming
<thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star
<undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer
* Mandi chortles
<undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :)
#8455 [ + | - ] 113
<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications
<Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by
mistake
<Mandi> heh
<Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then??
#8454 [ + | - ] 178
<helminthes> throw caution to the wind and then piss right
into it
#8453 [ + | - ] -21
<Dac> ok, what does 'LUG' on a rental property listing mean?
<tm> Lots of Ugly Guys
#8452 [ + | - ] 24
<Mousey> haha quarter chicken from mcdonalds
<mk4> whats quarter chicken ?
<mk4> like a quater pounder ?
<Punk-In-Drublic> well its not quiet a halfd of a chicken dave
#8451 [ + | - ] 176
<Tippytoes> somewhere in the world, there has to be some
chicks that ride motorbikes who are tomboys who also do
x-stitch
<sisko> probably
<sisko> that's what women's correctional facilities are for
#8450 [ + | - ] 308
<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike
today
<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet
<undrewb> aww thats nice
<undrewb> uh
<undrewb> thats not cuddling
<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword
<Tippytoes> oh well
<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA
<Tippytoes> piglet's happy
<Tippytoes> he's smiling
<jamesn> piglet is a bitch
<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince
#8449 [ + | - ] 232
<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very
inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all
retards can achieve the impossible :)
#8448 [ + | - ] 267
<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
<undrewb> heh
<jamesn> *laugh*
<jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
<MMouse> of course ;)
<jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
<MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper
management
#8447 [ + | - ] 189
<Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.
#8443 [ + | - ] 323
<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked.
#8441 [ + | - ] 370
<Doc> ok... kitchens clean, bathrooms clean
<Doc> thats the two easiest to clean rooms of the house
done...
<cactoid> is that because you always eat out and you never
shower?
#8440 [ + | - ] 152
<Excession> I'm getting seven figures. "FUCK ALL"
#8438 [ + | - ] 318
<cactoid> my god, the new lara croft has enormous gonzagas
<cactoid> i wonder if she goes for overweight australian it
professionals
#8437 [ + | - ] 21
<Medrawt> I almost always get laid when I've given up looking
for a root. Fact.
<Medrawt> I think girls can smell desperation
<drewb> no, they can smell your cheap aftershave
<drewb> when you stop wearing the shit aftershave, they can
tolerate you
<Medrawt> No they can't, I wear none
<thrase> If you weren't such an arrogant git drewb, you'd
probably pass as funny
* Medrawt relies on pheremones
<drewb> if you werent such a fuck up thrase, youd probably
pass as human
#8434 [ + | - ] 190
<Ag3ntOrangE> I like that one song by Alice Deejay...
<Ag3ntOrangE> except for the part that goes: "Do you think
your better off alone?"
#8431 [ + | - ] 748
<DjShoryu> one time my friend got so drunk he thought legos
were candy
<buttonsDIE> you mean like he ate them?
<DjShoryu> no, hes an artist
<DjShoryu> he built an apple , then ate it
#8428 [ + | - ] 75
*** overloaded has quit IRC (Quit: i'm outta here like a dyke
fleeing dick.)
#8427 [ + | - ] 41
<Nex> Damn it I feel ill since I told that window cleaner
bloke I didnt want to buy any cleaning fluid
<Nex> I bet he was a gypo and now I am cursed
#8425 [ + | - ] 240
<RaedonWolf> the shortest day of the year is the 8th of
december, the longest day is xmas with your relatives
#8424 [ + | - ] 227
<[Phoenix]> My keyboard is gay?
<Howdy> yes, but thats no reason to feel uncomfortable.. a gay
keyboard can touch your digits and it not be sexual
#8423 [ + | - ] 187
<SuperGayAllah> ok, who is the hairiest girl in here?
<Phuser> you are dude
#8417 [ + | - ] 57
<ChuffyCow> Norman Virus Defense -- a fat geek sits on your
computer, and spills donuts and coke on your computer,
"disinfecting it"
#8413 [ + | - ] 255
<ohio_ohio2> so what is the world coming to?
<X-Chaos-X> orgasms.
#8412 [ + | - ] 137
<Twisty> Fkn ETG banned me for 24 hours :/
<Twisty> TOok me forever to get back on :(
*** Twisty has quit IRC (Killed (AdminServ (Insecure
Connection (Type Insecure HTTP Bounce - Port 3128) - for help
to get your security fixed plz go here: http://
help.enterthegame.com/services/security.htm)))
#8410 [ + | - ] 35
«@Aquavette2k1» whats it take for a man to get some nude hot
teacher porn
#8409 [ + | - ] 250
<mindlace> i ate a pig that had probably been tortured its
entire life before finally being put out of its misery in a
festering pile of its screaming kin.
<space> i mean, part of the fun of having a pet is being able
to interact with it
#8405 [ + | - ] 9
<Prison_Shank_Blues> i found a fuckin tampax in a public pool
#8404 [ + | - ] 45
<Falkonn> okay...now make the logical connection to this---->
<Deciheximal> No household is complete without Jesus... He's
on call to beat the wife when the husband is away.
#8402 [ + | - ] 370
<jebs> haha i thought the dude on this ad said 'MORE OF THE
WORLDS MOST TERRIFYING MULLETS'
<jebs> but he said moments
#8398 [ + | - ] 730
<f48u10n7> this dude I know was sleeping with this girl, and
she had really long hair. so he gets up in the middle of the
night to take a crap, and he finishes his business, but when
he stands up, he feels a tug--turns out his turd is attached
to his rectum via a long hair. he had to hobble over to the
sink to get scissors
<taylah> what
<taylah> okay
<taylah> im confused
<nimh> f48u10n7: that's happened to me before
<f48u10n7> see, he must have swallowed some of her hair in the
night
<nimh> i've pulled one of my ex's long hair outta my ass
before
<taylah> haha oh
<taylah> my
<f48u10n7> i'm glad I only sleep with bald chicks
<`Benny`> that's the most disgusting thing I've heard in a
long time and I'm in here a fair amount of time
<taylah> god
<PunkRawk> like outta yer asshole nimh?
<aem`key> f48u10n7 lol
<aem`key> :)
<nimh> right out
<nimh> i felt it as i tugged it out
<nimh> i even called her over to take a look at it
<nimh> i was like, "cait, this is your fault."
<nimh> she was like, "what, EWWEWWEWE!"
<nimh> and ran away screaming
<f48u10n7> yikes
<f48u10n7> anyway, my point was, that's kinda like spidey
shooting webs from his ass
#8397 [ + | - ] 234
<iora> i steal no hearts.
<iora> brains are more valuable on the black market.
#8396 [ + | - ] 198
<kipozo> motardo: Lindows is installing from my D: but it's
looking under my A:.... looks like windows too much already
#8395 [ + | - ] 169
<glossolalia> oh well, the way I see it, the chances of me
being smacked in the head by a meteor or accidentally being
killed in a gang war are pretty slim, especially with my
new-found love of drinking JD while chatting on IRC
#8394 [ + | - ] 361
<crazymaninvan> boobs on the life channel!
<Spamalope> What species?
#8391 [ + | - ] 288
<Anarchos> my penis is 6.5" long, so my long distance
relationship must be no more than 5" away.
#8385 [ + | - ] 374
<MiakaYuki> Chillicha- you'd be better off finding a nice girl
to ride, wouldn't you?
<chillicha> i am a girl
<MiakaYuki> Exactly.
#8379 [ + | - ] 1054
<johnnY> ???????//////
<johnnY> ?????////////////////////////////////////////////////
///
<johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
<johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\
/
*** Sn00kie has joined #pk
<johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\
\\///\\\\///\\//
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<johnnY> dude
<johnnY> it was my cat
<johnnY> ...
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
<pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
<pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude
#8376 [ + | - ] 565
<Rach|Dressing > i just had the yummiest shower
<Rach|Dressing > it was nice and hot
<Fentom > ....damn it people prove that your hands ARE ON THE
KEYBOARD after that comment
#8375 [ + | - ] 244
<AsylumXKP> Yeah no advertising. (This message was brought to
by ANALSEX.COM! ALL ANAL ALL THE TIME!)
#8374 [ + | - ] 229
<Valvados> Words cannot express just how much Joe Hisaishi
ownz me
<Vicious> how about "Joe Hisaishi is gay" ?
<Valvados> YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU THUNDERING MORON
<Vicious> MAKE ME YOU BLATHERING DOLT
#8373 [ + | - ] 805
<leena> has anyone heard of the lord of the rings
<Serge_of_Aruni> NO, WHAT IS THAT?
<Serge_of_Aruni> IS THAT SOME CARNIVAL GAME?
<Serge_of_Aruni> WITH BOTTLES AND HOOPS?
#8372 [ + | - ] 248
<Hito> Golden showers, fecal, fisting, bondage, S&M,
cock-pumping, beastiality, dead people, babies, women,
children, men, stuffed animals, trees, etc.
<Chubbzilla> ¤¦Hito¦¤ nice weekend planned
#8371 [ + | - ] 245
<Jin|ForSale> I HAVE NO USE FOR MONEY
<Jin|ForSale> (unless it is a lot)