hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#7300 [ + | - ] 270
<bytraper> well.. you know what they say
<bytraper> if you drink and drive your a bloody idiot, if you
make it home, your a fuckin legend
#7299 [ + | - ] 159
<bytraper> hmm these persoals actually look ok
<Lord-Data> lol
<Lord-Data> till you find the penis
#7297 [ + | - ] 32
<Lord-Data> even tho im a fat guy, i dont want a fat chick ..
been there .. done that .. and no offence to her coz shes a
great person .. but .. id rather not again :)
<OutLore> hehe
<OutLore> agreed
<bytraper> hahahaha
<bytraper> like rocking a car on the edge of a cliff
<OutLore> 3 votes, the motion is hereby passed
#7294 [ + | - ] 863
<parox> man near killed myself carrying a 60kg UPS today!!!
<parox> had to carry it up some steps, put the back out I
think
<bytraper> 60kg's?? I know how you feel dude... I once carried
that weight in each arm once while I was running
<parox> what the hell were you doing carring that sort of
weight while you were running??? you in training or something?
<bytraper> no I was stealing the stuff and somebody saw me...
#7293 [ + | - ] 183
<bytraper> being spoiled like I am you get sick of it and you
get urges to go to the fridge to get your own beer... but then
you sit a while longer  and the urge goes away so you call her
to bring you beer
#7292 [ + | - ] 235
<bytraper> man get a set of mags for your car
<bytraper> dude.... steal a set if you have to
<bytraper> they really make the car
<bytraper> especially going a large 16" rim and low profile
tyres
<Lord-Data> im too fat to do illegal stuff, i can't run away
:)
#7291 [ + | - ] 335
<Iced> the IDE cable from the COM2 to the port is fsked
<Iced> it must be that
<NepCHooN> ide cable?
<NepCHooN> your com2 hooks into your hard drive?
<NepCHooN> i ph33r your pc!!
#7288 [ + | - ] 670
<PovRayMan> that was a weird dream I had last night
<PovRayMan> I was about to have sex with this hot chick
<PovRayMan> and I started peeing all over her
<PovRayMan> and she started gargling it too... damn weird
<PovRayMan> I think I know what caused it too
<PovRayMan> I went to the bathroom about 5 times last night ot
pee
<PovRayMan> and a friend of mine was showing me pics he took
of this girl on his campus he wants to be with
<Floach> and 3), you have a pee fetish
<gridbug> Yep.
<PovRayMan> I don't have a pee fetish.
<PovRayMan> I was trying to fuck her damnit
<PovRayMan> but I couldn't stop peeing on her
#7286 [ + | - ] 272
( Comatose  ) play dough is the food of kings
( Chino     ) play dough is too salty
( Comatose  ) but its not as crunchy as crayons
#7285 [ + | - ] 528
( Judge`ZzzZ) fmita Khorne-
( Khorne-   ) fmita?
( Khorne-   ) whats fmita short for? =)
( Khorne-   ) "fuck me in the ass?" .p
( Judge`ZzzZ) looks like it
( Fuzzy     ) you say it that often you need an acronym for
it?
#7284 [ + | - ] 427
( Fuzzy     ) this one chick could type 80wpm at 95% acc
( Fuzzy     ) i'm watching her type going "i bet she'd give
nice hand jobs"
#7283 [ + | - ] 386
( TheFlyingP) i've got a pronoucement : school is bad for your
health
( noip-work ) thats an ANnouncement, f00l :)
( Fuzzy     ) you need to pay more attention at school
#7282 [ + | - ] 608
( Fuzzy     ) i love the internet
( Fuzzy     ) i just found a resturant, checked the menu, read
two reviews, made a booking and found out exactly where it is
( Fuzzy     ) i'd confidently say that the internet is going
to get me laid tonight
( Fuzzy     ) thoroughly laid
( `46and2   ) wow... and here i was just using it for pr0n
#7280 [ + | - ] 570
( Lev       ) have you SEEN the people who wear the I LOVE
LINUX T-shirts....that does more damage to the OS than a
billion microsoft blue-screens
#7278 [ + | - ] 294
( Loony-Stud) pretty ass?
( Lev       ) possibly....everytime i check i get dizzy from
turning and fall down
#7276 [ + | - ] 670
( Fuzzy     ) like flicking through his images dir
( Lev       ) oh i thought you said "licking"
( Lev       ) how peculiar
( Teddy     ) Lev: is there something on your mind?
( Teddy     ) you seem a little pre-occupied...
( Lev       ) wouldn't you lick to find out
#7275 [ + | - ] 416
[Leviath] I have a funny tingle in my nose. At 3:30pm I ate
some Kettle Chilli chips and went into this coughing/snorting
fit and coughed a small piece of chilli chip up my nose and
snorted it out. It burned like HELL and I in turn created a
scene being the 27 year old crying gayboy with a bag of chips
in one hand and some printer paper I used to blow my nose on
in the other :(((
#7273 [ + | - ] 531
( CraNDaWG  ) i just watched like 6 ddr videos and i must say
( CraNDaWG  ) that is the _gayest_ bullshit i have ever seen
( Lev       ) you know, real men who rustle cows and weld
stuff prolly think us playing computer games and giggling at
each others gayness on irc is the _gayest_ bullshit
#7272 [ + | - ] 291
( Fuzzy     ) jBalls: go get all asian on them and start
bargining
( jBalls    ) haha i lack that crucial gene
( jBalls    ) i cant bargain my way out of a cardboard box
( Lev       ) but you ddr like a motherfucker
#7270 [ + | - ] 644
( Lev       ) i got to taste pre-mixed coca-cola concentrate
from McDOnalds!
( Lev       ) BEFORE THE WATER!
( Lev       ) WEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#7269 [ + | - ] 203
(bern) i have a feeling gf's gonna call during the game
(bern) what do i do if that happens?
(bern) bit busy darling, killing a sentry gun!
#7268 [ + | - ] 36
( `46and2   ) i've learnt alot about getting a woman off...
it's not that hard. i even convinced my friend to show me
where the effing g spot is... i tried it on my g/f and all
this clear shit came out
#7265 [ + | - ] 79
<Daemon_> thak you for  replying   I dont know  what is daemon
or who is daemon explain
<Daemon_> to me  who is or what is...sometimes Inotice you are
the one who  return the
<Daemon_> mail for some reasons.....I want to know who or what
daemon is..thak you
#7264 [ + | - ] 354
<Tigrrr> I cook food in my oven.
<Tigrrr> i like food.
<edoc> I gas puppies in mine
<Tigrrr> mmmmmm puppies
#7263 [ + | - ] 616
<|nqbuss> i have no problem deciding what to do. if i'm
hungry, i eat. if i'm tired, i sleep, if i need to user the
bathroom, i use the bathroom, if none of the above, i sit in
front of the computer
#7259 [ + | - ] 569
<Jay> how do u spell nebour
<nc> neighbour
<nc> haha
<Jay> kthx
<Jay> how do u spell ritch
<nc> rich u moron
<DX> rofl
<Jay> well
<DX> u dum cunt jay
<Jay> so what if i cant spell
<Jay> i type it in spell check
<Jay> and im still so wrong it goes what the fuck no
suggestions
<nc> MS never reckoned on Jay
#7255 [ + | - ] 138
<Hedge> yeah, loud music during sex really works. it's easy to
keep the motion to a beat
<Kharnifex> mmmm yeah, but i'd have to get more fit to have
sex again
<TRIPtych> «WinAmp» Now Playing: Funker Vogt - Word of Power
(High Speed Mix)
<TRIPtych> id like to see u keep up to this hedge =p
<Kharnifex> *gets rectinol*
<TRIPtych> d00f d00f d00f
<Kharnifex> and the slapping noise of testical against ass
<Hedge> i think i saw the How To video of that
<Kharnifex> i just dloaded the pdf file
#7252 [ + | - ] 24
<sylwia> I was considering plugging a smiley sometime =( just
for the sake of sticking good E up my ass
#7250 [ + | - ] 447
<yunicus> god has so many stalkers
#7248 [ + | - ] 12
<BBKahuna> shae, my ejaculation was increased by 300%!!!!
#7247 [ + | - ] 182
<sylwia> I'm drawing black people
<sylwia> for a poster for my english class
<sylwia> I think I made tham too black
<sylwia> you can't really see their faces
#7245 [ + | - ] 403
<Mike_3486> i wonder if i could smother somebody using the CO2
from a Coke can <Sock_Monkee> shrug
<Mike_3486> nobody knows...if i asked how to make a bong from
a wiffle ball, some duct tape, and a rubber band i'd get 10
different answers
#7244 [ + | - ] 440
<Grum_Trivia> shithead1 has won 50 in a row!! Total Points
this WEEK: 22347 & this MONTH: 34899
<Shithead1> I am fucking tired of trivia
<Grumman> imagine that
#7239 [ + | - ] 557
<fo0bar> fuck, how do I contact the IRS?
<egon> cheat on your taxes... they'll contact you.
#7235 [ + | - ] 557
<OneEyedJack> Someone tell me why everyone lists one of their
hobbies as either "hanging out" or "partying"?
<Qtechie> I like to hang out while I party... but chicks are
always grossed out by it, and guys tend to beat me up for it
#7231 [ + | - ] 238
<dietz> Computers, the internet, it's just a large scale
version of Knott's Berry Farm.
<dietz> Oh, and instead of Snoopy, there's porn. Yeah.
#7230 [ + | - ] 321
[ace_kevi] heh, i didn't know there was a programming language
called
brainfuck.
[buz-] goes by "MIPS assembler" also
#7229 [ + | - ] 554
asjk] !list
[asjk] anyone know a good open ftp?
[ck1] 127.0.0.1
[asjk] need a userid/pw
[ck1]anonymous
[bluerose] oh come on give him the good account
[ck1] :)
[bluerose] l: hax0r
[bluerose] p: 31337
[asjk] thx
#7227 [ + | - ] 434
<Prophet_Tenebrae> i am to porn what pot noodle is to snacks.
<Wesley> an insult?
#7226 [ + | - ] 431
<Stray> you're a winner. i'm a winner. we're all winners here.
<KurtBatz> Everyone's a winner baby, that's the truth.  o/~
<Hawx> I have to go to fucking work tomorrow. I'm not a
winner.
<Hawx> I'm just a breadwinner.
<Hawx> But who the fuck wants to work for bread?
<KurtBatz> Ethiopians.
<Hawx> True
#7224 [ + | - ] 1793
***  mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's, All
welcome. Place for 500"
<Minko> grrrr
<Minko> You can all come, but I'm not gonna be there
*** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's  <Minko>
You can all come"
<Minko> Stop it guys, I'm busy this weekend
<Minko> I've got big things planned
*** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's  <Minko>
You can all come <Minko> I've got big things planned"
<Minko> Aaargh
#7223 [ + | - ] 208
<wabbit> ok ... we dont choose what cum tastes like ...
otherwise it would taste a WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT!!!
#7221 [ + | - ] 365
*** mrBlond changes topic to "The QuakeFEST is....."
*** fern changes topic to "The QuakeFEST was yesterday !!"
<mrBlond> wow I must be REALLY lagged then
#7220 [ + | - ] 377
*** DarkElf changes topic to "Sundancer Kicked Hiro's butt at
Pool!! :) that's Mr 'I have my own table at home' Gay
Helicopter Pilot Hiro (in case you were wondering)"
<Hiro> *growl*
*** Hiro changes topic to "I lost ONE FUCKING GAME to her ok?"
*** DarkElf changes topic to "yes, but to a WOMAN ?"
<Hiro> she isnt a women
<Hiro> she is a beast from the pits of hell
<Hiro> a demon possessed her
<DarkElf> see - reading that bible thing may have helped
you... and you laughed at the people in #alive
*** DarkElf changes topic to "Hiro converts to christianity"
<Hiro> de: even jesus would have lost that fucking game of
pool
<Hiro> I need a gun, so I can shoot myself
<DarkElf> Hiro: why don't you just stab yoursefl in the eye
with the pool cue.....
<DarkElf> hang on though, going on sunny's description of you
skill you'll probably miss *grin
#7219 [ + | - ] 355
<Sundancer> DE: "The truth is out there" :)
<DarkElf> sunny: yeah, thank god it's out there and not in
here with us
#7216 [ + | - ] 187
<eod> echo "\$cd pub" >t-shirt
<eod> echo "\$more beer" >>t-shirt
<eod> heh
<weis> cat t-shirt | sed s/beer/whiskey/ >better_t-shirt
#7215 [ + | - ] 287
<geekster> mossibly
<geekster> that's most poccibly, but it went thru a horible
translation from brain to fingers
<geekster> ARSE!!
#7214 [ + | - ] 177
<Viper550esp> heh hell, you have no idea what hell is! Try
standing inbetween two large fat women at a manson concert who
decided just to wear the bare minimum to get it in concert.
Oh thats nothing, they decided that it would be fun to start a
mash pit. I kid you not those two women took out 7 people with
one massive shove
#7206 [ + | - ] 252
<Bane> they PROMISED they'd call me
<Xzibit-A> bunch of fucken users
<Bane> that's what i say
<Bane> i'm nothing but two holes and two hands to them
<Bane> *sob*
<Bane> just a cum receptacle
#7201 [ + | - ] 405
<@WatchDragon> dude, i am like -- that close to having my
boating licence
<@motardo> dude, you are like -- that close to having a mullet