hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#6653 [ + | - ] 496
<LR|Midnight> this ice cream owns
<[ice]> omfg
<[ice]> this Midnight cream 0wns
#6651 [ + | - ] 325
<Kron-Away> iam an accountant
<Kron-Away> 1,2,3,5,6,9,10
<Mr_Squidgy> kron what comes after 10 :P
<Kron-Away> my 15%
#6649 [ + | - ] 2630
(talking about a guy that worked at the world trade center)
<@PowrSlave> this poor fuck is getting divorced cuz of 9/11
<@PowrSlave> lol
<@PowrSlave> his wife filed
<@PowrSlave> he didnt go into work that morning and went to
his mistresses' house instead
<@PowrSlave> had his phone off
<nonzeRo> haha
<nonzeRo> lucky guy
<@PowrSlave> he turned it on at around 11:00 and his wife was
like "OMFG ARE YOU OKAY WHERE ARE YOUR?"
<@PowrSlave> hes like "im at the office honey. whats the
matter?"
<@PowrSlave> lol
#6646 [ + | - ] 301
<rewben> we are not perverts ;p
<akiron> speak for youself ;)
#6645 [ + | - ] 62
<Sonya> 14/f/nj
<rewben> oh
<rewben> im 54/n/netherlands
<Silvana> what's n?
<elph> i guess n is for nice ass
#6633 [ + | - ] 430
doubting: interesting
doubting: popup ad suggests I use www.blackjack.com to backup
my critical data
doubting: strangely, I'm not wont to gamble with my backups
#6631 [ + | - ] 297
<Hawx> wtf is Scotty
<Shinji> Hawx - ScottyFox, he's in here occasionaly, I used to
live with him in Canada.
<Hawx> scottyfox is one letter away from being scattyfox
<Shinji> Hawx - and you're four letters away from being
'fuck'.
<Hawx> :D
#6630 [ + | - ] 97
<atl_jimbo> I wonder is Sara's still pissed at me....
<atl_jimbo> being her friend and not being her friend, there's
not much difference.
#6629 [ + | - ] 35
<markd2> kompressor is not dancing
<evand> kompressor does not funk
<markd2> kompressor needs therapy
#6627 [ + | - ] 365
<CecilPL> I have a life, I just don't do anything in it
#6626 [ + | - ] 475
<BrantB> OMG!
<CecilPL> what?
<BrantB> I just used an acronym for Oh My God for the first
time ever
#6625 [ + | - ] 172
<@Greg> how do i start apps automatically when i log into os
x?
<@desnarf> hit it with a hammer
<@desnarf> but you need a robot arm for it to happen
automatically
#6622 [ + | - ] 612
<ScottO> How was your interview, meta?
<nietmeta> it's on monday
<nietmeta> i gotta wait!
<ScottO> How will it be, then?
<nietmeta> it will be awsome
<ScottO> Congrats, then.
#6619 [ + | - ] 247
<Jon^D> if I was gay and in ireland I'd score with gav
<Jon^D> he's my hero
<Jon^D> he'd probably have to be gay too mind
<arioch> those repressed homosexual tendencies are coming to
the surface now
<Jon^D> I wish I was gay
#6618 [ + | - ] 800
<Jon^D> I had to cat 8-9 seperate quote files, compare each
line in each of them to make sure there weren't any duplicates
then sort
<Jon^D> I wrote a nasty perl script to get it donw
<Jon^D> and it didn't work very well
<skank> cat quote*.txt |sort |uniq
#6616 [ + | - ] 461
<@Jon^D> I used to pop on IRC at 13:37 for the pure novelty of
it
<@Jon^D> and I'm not a loser
#6615 [ + | - ] 403
<@amfeorgmloow> jon do chicks dig the C
<@Jon> amfeorgmloow: they scream preprocessor directives when
I take em from behind
#6613 [ + | - ] 315
<@arioch> the UT chicks looked too manly for my tastes
<@arftron> serious
<@meiso> wtf she is sexy
<@meiso> her beard is pure ripe for stroking
#6612 [ + | - ] 108
<@meiso> ftp: 80921107 bytes received in 87.26Seconds
927.40Kbytes/sec.
<@meiso> man this modem turbo booster really helps
#6611 [ + | - ] 200
<@meiso> he was trying to secure his server and made the root
filesystem un-writeable
#6607 [ + | - ] 448
<niff|n> why do you have so much porn Greebo?
<Greebo> 'cos i like masturbating, niffin.
#6605 [ + | - ] 140
<Lewda> no oral pleasure for JOO
<RB> ..
<RB> I do not understand
<Philgone> oh dear
* Philgone motions leeda to the private window
#6601 [ + | - ] 302
Fred> This computer deserves to go to hell
Max>  Dont you mean Siliconhell?
Fred> What ?
Max> Its the place where all dead calculators go to
Fred> Really?
#6596 [ + | - ] 50
<Mr_Bandit> how come when ever i go in the sea it makes me
scratch in my private bit
#6592 [ + | - ] 64
<desaster> why get a gf when i have volvo
<montz> yeah a volvo has enuf of holes
#6590 [ + | - ] 446
<continuum> is there anything sweeter than the first few
downloads once you switch to adsl?
<continuum> first sex, first drugs, first drink... don't think
any compare to watching 12Mb d/l in like a second or two
#6578 [ + | - ] 196
<sE|PassePartouT`v> i can beat you like sgamer beats off
<sE|PassePartouT`v> and that's a lot
<sgamer> that is a lot, but i doubt you can
#6576 [ + | - ] 46
<NMO> Instuructions to format: rip out hard drive, tie to back
of car, drive on shit road, harddrive gone
#6575 [ + | - ] 262
<@_uaioe> BITE THE PILLOW, KID... ITS GOIN' IN DRY!
#6572 [ + | - ] 507
(motardo): gay men are more likely to have homosexual sex than
straight men
#6571 [ + | - ] 534
<felix> eek
<skrike> felix just screamed like a girl
<felix> no, I said "eek"
<skrike> girls say "eek"
<skrike> YOU GIRL
<oat`meal> guys say "oh SHIT, what the FUCK, BITCH"
#6569 [ + | - ] 254
<skullY_> <-- Feels really bright now
<barkode> did you get a new lamp?
#6567 [ + | - ] -171
(ubergash): i swear to jebus if one more fucking nigger uses
the word jew or kyke or the, I'll shank you all
#6566 [ + | - ] 104
<goatbustar> the church sex scandal: what would jesus do
<goatbustar> turn the other cheek
#6565 [ + | - ] 312
<barkode> it's all about getting drunk at defcon, and waking
up the next morning in a ditch, with a TRS-80, a wireless
modem, a
sombero, a pair of high heels, an angry midget and you're
dressed like a mariachi.
#6564 [ + | - ] 650
<skrike> zhix: guess what Im doing
<zhix> skrike - what?
<skrike> zhix - Im doing the dishes, cuz sometimes thugs gotta
tell the dishes whats up
<zhix> skrike - damn straight
<skrike> Im in the kitchen going "bitch you betta get clean"
#6563 [ + | - ] 27
<copernicu> Though it is the fourth largest city in the
country, Houston's television market ranks 11th.
<WonkoSane> how does a tv market rank 11th if they're 4th in
population?
<CubsWoo> Remember Houston is close to Mexico
#6562 [ + | - ] 9026
<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and
agreeing with each other a lot.
#6560 [ + | - ] 164
<mistress> no throw nice laptops against wall.  p2-233, 192mb
ram.
<mistress> (thats his. mine's a p200 with 32mb of ram.
<mistress> maybe his is a 266. i forget. but i remember what
video chipset it uses.
<mistress> i guess its up to a girl to know a man's hardware
better than he does.
#6558 [ + | - ] 435
<zhixel> I'm starting to think I drive too fast.
<felix> nothing wrong with 80mhz.
<felix> unless a highway patrol officer tells you otherwise.
<felix> like one did to me today.
<zhixel> I'm sorry felix, my car isn't a 486.
<barkode> got a ticket?
<felix> i got a speeding ticket going work
<barkode> "sorry officer, i had my soda on the turbo button"
<felix> zhixel: fuck off.  80mph, too
#6557 [ + | - ] 269
<barkode> firewire is the greatest thing since people started
taking pictures of other people in thongs.
#6556 [ + | - ] 354
<Yawgatog> If I were two I'd try to eat everything in sight,
just in case it's a boob in disguise
#6552 [ + | - ] 298
* dagbrown *FINALLY* got licenses for his fucking Sun
development environments.
<dagbrown> Sun's licensing department must have the slogan "WE
HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE"
#6549 [ + | - ] 191
* Lemieux doesnt do the menage-a-trois thing
<Lemieux> at least... not if there's 2 women involved
<skidd> so you're a multiple input woman?
* Lemieux is not a porn star
<JayByrd> you don't have to be a porn star
<JayByrd> dirties across the land are getting it at both ends,
as we speak
#6547 [ + | - ] 416
<Soulphonat> My cat only speaks in analog
<Soulphonat> it's cute
#6546 [ + | - ] 500
<pimpDT> you need a nice phrase to tell women when they
mention babies
<boXlor> "stfu" ?
#6545 [ + | - ] 251
<Goodlookinguy17> if anyone wants to cyber with a hot 17 year
old male, message me
<Owaru> if anyone wants to hear desperate pleas of attention
by a decrepit 17 year old weirdo, msg me!
<Owaru> i'll make you sound like you're normal!
#6538 [ + | - ] 568
<_404notfound> Best prank ever: while your male friend is
sleeping, slip a condom on him, and get one of your female
friends to lie next to him until he wakes up.
<BobTheMilkman> 404: or better yet, a male friend
#6534 [ + | - ] 269
<SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention
president stirred interfaith tumult when he described
Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed
pedophile."
#6531 [ + | - ] 1078
<Grumman> I got windows 200pro today.
<shithead1> windows 200? did marcus aurelius use that?