<chakie_work> free(chakie_work) <chakie_work> time to go home <ahigerd> Don't segfault. <chakie_work> :) <chakie_work> chakie_work=0 <ahigerd> I always knew you were. ;)
<FyreStorm> 'cute'=fat, 'stud'=small penis, 'kitten'=usually over 50 yrs old, 'sexy'=desperate, 'girl'or'gal'=usually <FyreStorm> over 40 yrs old, 'cuddly'=exceptionally over-wieght, 'hot'=lousy in bed, 'wet'=incontinent, 'boy'= still a virgin at 30, <FyreStorm> 'single'=married but horny, 'hard'=on viagra, 'divorced'=will be if his wife finds out
<SasukeUch> I loved SA because i was finally living the dream of being a black man and being able to say "nigger" without getting beaten down in the comfort of my own home.
[ Pwyff ] So one day, George Bush and The Queen of England are sitting in her room talking about politics, when Bush asks the Queen, "How do you know if the highest members of your state are smart enough to be doing their job?" [ Pwyff ] And the Queen replies, "Well, I usually ask them riddles, and see how fast they respond. That's usually a good way to see if they can think for themselves." [ Pwyff ] So the Queen calls Tony Blair in, and asks him, "If your Parents had a child, but it's not your sister, and it's not your brother, who is it?" [ Pwyff ] And Tony Blair immediately replies, "That's easy, it's me!" [ Pwyff ] And the Queen, who is very pleased, send Tony Blair away. [ Pwyff ] Now, Bush, who is very impressed, brings the Queen to find Donald Rumsfield and asks him, "Hey Donald, if your parents had a kid, but it's not your sister, and it's not your brother, who is it?" [ Pwyff ] And Rumsfield ponders for a long time, and then admits to Bush that he has no clue. [ Pwyff ] Pissed off, Bush drags Rumsfield and the Queen to Dick Cheney, where Bush asks Cheney, "Hey Dick, if your parents had a kid, but it's not your sister or your brother, who is it?" [ Pwyff ] And Cheney ponders for a long time, and then he finally lights up with an idea, and says "It's me!" [ Pwyff ] And Bush gets REALLY pissed off, and yells at both of them, "NO YOU IDIOTS! IT'S TONY BLAIR!"
<Hrung> yeah, i was going to go to bed like 20 mins ago, but i'm a horrible procrastinator <Hrung> too lazy to go to bed..
<LouZiffer> We just got back from the ultrasound. Everything's good. I'm the proud father of a lima bean with a heartbeat. <RangerRick> LouZiffer: oh no! it'll be a vegetable!
< Milenko> im so bored.. <@ALGORYTHM> get a job < Milenko> i have a job < Milenko> Im in the army kid < Milenko> im on leave because i got shot in the ass during basic training :-/
<Amun> just bought a server <Amun> did a harddrive restore on it <Amun> found nothing of interest <Amun> except... his poems <Amun> let me recite a few <Amun> this one is called 'wishful thinking' <Amun> The money I ve blown <Amun> Getting high with dirty bitches I wish I ve never known <Amun> Puffin on the pipe while they choke on my bone <Amun> They re never grateful of the kindness I ve shown <Amun> Or of all the times I ve made them mown <Amun> So from now on I m just going to fucking leave them alone
<Chr1stina> This girl I went to high school with is writing me emails through classmates.com <Kancer> I reply to those people, "big whoop our parents just happen to bone at the same time and in the same location, it dosen't make you special" <Alex> I'm pretty sure my high school class wasn't the result of one giant orgy in 1978. <Kancer> Alex: are you sure? it was the 70s
Chronz > my girlfriend dumped me for playing too much eve Chronz > she said she couldn't take it anymore Chronz > she took the shotgun to the moniter Chronz > and i pointed it at my forehead Chronz > i said me first Chronz > she dropped the gun darrenX > thats unforgivenable Chronz > and walked out
<@Never> I had this insane professor who constantly alluded to being an alcoholic and to hating his wife <@Never> somehow this meshed with economic theory perfectly. <@Never> Once he went to the board and drew a simple X-Y graph, on one axis he wrote "GIN CONSUMED" and on the other he wrote "LIFE EXPECTANCY"
<Frostfyre> Why not slap windows stickers on toasters? I mean think about it. Toasters get ridiculously hot, burn things easily, and can be operated by a fucking moron.
<Azn[Busy]> I've always wondered how to say his name... <malevolence> GOOD THING IT DOESN'T HAVE L'S! <malevolence> M I RITE!?
[Sioux]: OMG! [Sioux]: THAT JOKE IS OLD!!!!!!!! [Sioux]: It's over 10 years old. I told it to all my friends back in 1991. [CwR]: Run out of fingers to calculate the exact difference? :)
<Telius> Nobody escapes the Spanish Inquisition! <codepoet> \S\p\a\n\i\s\h\ \I\q\u\i\s\i\t\i\o\n
Brendan: A client of mine wants a cheesy backup solution jbailey999: Cheese is no good as a data storage medium. It's unstable at room temperature.
<PinkeyPooh> my wireless connection is going slower then 2 turtles fucking in jello
<gwizz> so i broke our microwave today <gwizz> luckily best buy still sold the same model <gwizz> so i go get it, bring it home, set it up, and hide the box in my car <gwizz> my parents get back and my mom goes 'did you clean the microwave?'
<Swiich> greatest thing ever in 20th century history today in school <Swiich> teacher was going on about the million man march <Swiich> this kid raises his hand and says "don't you mean the 600 000 man march?" <Swiich> teacher says "no, why?" <Swiich> "well, 600 000 is 3/5ths of a million"
<Ant_> yay. my loan came through. my bank balance is no longer preceeded by a "-". <SC> You should've tried depositing a negative amount of money.
<addeman> after some bad experiences with fat chicks I no longer ask their asl <addeman> instead I ask for their BMI
TANNER3000: I decided I'd try Meatball Marinara today. TANNER3000: It's good, but no cigar. Luigigamer Golem: You're abusing the idiom. TANNER3000: No, I meant you'd have a hard time smoking it.
<squipple_> hey! <squipple_> who's got my name with underscore <_aa_> ! <squipple_> kick them pls <squipple_> oh wait, I can..hahaha <_aa_> I don't get it * squipple_ was kicked by squipple_ (Kick) <_aa_> lol <_aa_> did he just kick himself? <Znarl> There's a good argument against drinking and IRCing.
ChaosPid: She was already mad at me and she yelled "I'm gonna kill you" ChaosPid: and I responded.... ChaosPid: "This is wierd, I swear to god I just heard you offer to make me a cake, but the words didnt match up with your lips at all........but chocolate, I suppose." Curt: What'd she do? ChaosPid: She looked like she was gonna die... left the room and then came back a few minutes later.... in a rage. Curt: LOL. ChaosPid: I then told her she shouldnt have left, if she wanted to go to the store to buy ingredients, she knew she would need a man to drive her to the store, and then I called her silly.
<BigNTall> Ohhhh Kay... I'm on some clothing seller forums, and a common theme is how to get a stain out of an otherwise perfect garment. Someone posted a "Guide to removing stains from children's clothing". Possible stains include liquor, wine, and semen
<Makenshi`> the creator of the qwerty keyboard must have had a fetish <Makenshi`> I don't think it's a coincidence that you can type 'stewardess' with one hand
OhTheCommotion: This "Comedy Central presents..." was brought to me by Windows Vista OhTheCommotion: But this show came on at the time it was scheduled to come on OhTheCommotion: So someone is lying to me.
<Uki> i don't feel much different, this whole being 21 thing <Aphelion_> in that case, you did it wrong. go back and try again, this time with more vodka.
<freznel> hey got a computer question, if my mother board requires 5 volts, what size power supplies can I use <seeess> you cant go above the voltage rating on your motherboard <seeess> so you need a <5v psu <seeess> or you can use a standard PSU and only plug it in half way
(Jani) the wii is going to get raped in the console war (Jani) unless xbox360's start exploding like dell laptops (%Ransom) ps3 will destroy everything (Jani) including your wallet
<andreaskem> All this washin powder pretending to make your clothes whiter <andreaskem> One day I will invent one that really works <andreaskem> And I'm going to call it "white pow(d)er"
<r34en> i'll show her.. one day when i'm 1337 i'll have my own channel and she'll beg me to op her <r34en> do you know what i'll say <gary> "how do you add ops?"
<jcm> would having a woman as the main character change anything? <jcm> it would still be GTA <gwizz> yeah <gwizz> grand theft alimony
<total_meltdown> Writing to an NTFS filesystem in Linux is like using Windows ME - you /can/ but when it bombs and you lose everything, nobody will feel sorry for you.
Chico: i would never consider her at all Chico: shes like 100% emo Chico: to the bone QueenRen24: aww, but emo kids are so cut QueenRen24: e
<MALF> ebay is where cocaine addicts sell things for profit <tak> thats what pawn shops are for <tak> ebay takes too long <tak> need crack NOW <spun> but you actually need shit to sell at pawn shops <spun> ebay you can sell a picture of a laptop
puffster: Can you really start a sentence with "With almost 100% accuracy..."? killdbykangeroos: I think I'm positive you can.
<Numi> i m so FUCKE§ING WASTED FUCK <Haddock> You have to be pretty wasted to typo §
<Dro0> i dont wanna be alarmist here <Dro0> but i'm prety sure that the guy trying to configure the core router in chicago <Dro0> is googling "subnetting"
<Linuxgeek> How do i find the model of my card? <Serena[T]> your nick is misleading, seriously
<ad_man> ya so me and mitch were sittin in english <ad_man> and we always had a habit of writing dumb stuff in each other's books <ad_man> so he writes in my book "adam is a fagget" <ad_man> what we didn't know was that the teacher was standing behind us <ad_man> so she says <ad_man> "it's spelled -ot", and just walked on
xxnjbeauty23xx: im also short xxnjbeauty23xx: but its a good thing for me because im jewish xxnjbeauty23xx: which means im closer to the pennies
9mm: I suppose Steve Irwin should have worn sunblock to protect from harmful rays.
<ArianaK> I want my money back. <ArianaK> I forgot the name of the tea I'm drinking thats supposed to help your memory
greyfox80988: The average American spends 6 years in the bathroom, and 6 months at a stoplight. greyfox80988: I want to know who figures this stuff out o_o greyfox80988: Cause that's what I'm gonna be when I grow up ^_ ^
actualism: if you bet an emo kid 20 bucks that he won't kill himself, you'll either be 20 bucks richer or break even
F4T4L: by making TV's bigger all we're doing is making black people stronger F4T4L: soon they'll rule the world
<Nano> Is it "cheating" or wrong to mastubate over another chick when your married? <Syco> thats like asking is it rape if they smile? <Nano> wtf... no its not :/
<pmcall221> I'm wondering when Windows will work they they say it will. <Kittyflipping> You're criticizing millions of lines of code and you can't even get one sentence right?