hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#5757 [ + | - ] 1092
<bytraper> sheesh... I crashed the last company car I had :/
<bytraper> I pulled the sun visor down and a spider with 15
legs dropped from it
<girlie-> 15 legs.. lol
<Dark_un> thats almost 2 spiders
#5755 [ + | - ] 276
<@zartik> i just banned someone from #freebsdhelp
<@zartik> and he msg's me:
<@zartik> -06:46- [      hegemon ] So I have nobody to turn to
and must go back to Windows.
<@madog> should be nice and unban him, thats evil to make him
use windows =<
#5751 [ + | - ] 332
[bytraper ] dammit where can I grab porn movies :(
[OpsuPup  ] umm, try the internet
[OpsuPup  ] i hear there's lots of porn on there
[Nemesite ] really?
[OpsuPup  ] apparently
[Nemesite ] shit i would never have thought of that
#5750 [ + | - ] 645
<TeNcHi420> i went to this store to buy a pipe, and there was
only one left, and hes all "its unbreakable" so i was like
thats pretty cool, but then he starts bangin it on the tble,
and im like ok stop, but he says, "no look, you can hit it how
ever many times and it wont break.." on about the 7th or 8th
smack on the table the thing shatters....i almost knoked his
dumbass out
#5748 [ + | - ] 335
<sjelkjd> stop the room, please, i'd like to get off
#5747 [ + | - ] 4
<Auger> i stayed in a hospital when i was in second grade and
i peed my bed cause i couldn't get up and i was too scared to
call someone in
#5746 [ + | - ] 150
<Udeth> my mother came in and demanded that I'd move shit off
my floor, so she could wash my room tomorrow, because it
smells rotten in here.
<Udeth> i can't smell shit.
<ToRMeNTeD> well if theres shit on the floor no wonder it
smells rotten
#5744 [ + | - ] 61
<bytraper> its because your gay syn
<Synoptica> and you are illiterate
<bytraper> maybe but it sure beats the hell out of being gay
#5741 [ + | - ] 249
(nexxai) chali: can I flood your port?  maybe brute force my
worm through your backdoor....sniff some packets perhaps?
#5740 [ + | - ] 1576
<evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...
<Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?
<evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games
and reality
<evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw
a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
<evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice
graphics..."
<evenpar123> It was horrible...
<evenpar123> ugh
#5737 [ + | - ] 599
<Anton> mainly becauseone day I'll have a car and drive to
every single girl who ever said I was cute
<Anton> so be warned and prepared
<angelic> will do.
<Anton> oh and by prepared I meant naked
#5735 [ + | - ] 791
<robin24> any girls in here?
<cognac> does is really matter?
<cognac> the only thing you're gonna see are letters and
numbers anyway
#5732 [ + | - ] 63
<TDragon`> MachinShi: COMMUNIST!
<PitDroid> we take everything you have, divide it equally
amongst ourselves, and then return to you a portion of what
you originally had
<gIbBeR> lol
<geoffh> taxes?
<PitDroid> taxes are dumb
#5731 [ + | - ] 64
<dan-zzzz> got some drab races to go to
<Lord-Data> heh. that when it rains?
#5729 [ + | - ] 1121
<Lord-Data> god damn faggot game
<Lord-Data> why the fuck would i wanna pick up a corpse when
im on 10% health, theres a minigun in front of me and im under
fire
<Lord-Data> when i push use i wanna use the god damn gun, not
fuck the damn corpse
#5727 [ + | - ] 525
<BloodAngel> I was just trying to find something in my pants
pocket- but I didn't know what.
<BloodAngel> [don't start, don't _even_ start!]
<BloodAngel> And then I realized what I was looking for...
<BloodAngel> And proved I'm dumb. :)
<BloodAngel> 'cuz I was trying to find the 2-Litre of Mountain
Dew that I set down.
#5718 [ + | - ] 344
[OutLore  ] OMFG
[Lord-Data] OutLore: OYFG!
#5715 [ + | - ] 281
* NovaScorp just taped his old 15" monitor connected to his
server sideways on a chair so he can IRC while in bed =-D
#5712 [ + | - ] 89
<+Krispy> i talk about poo a lot
<+gwenhyvar> Krispy: I had to poo really bad when the AT&T guy
was installing our phone.. and I couldn't untill he was gone
<+Straylight> why not? installing a phone in the bathroom?
#5707 [ + | - ] 259
<+Straylight> Victoria's Secret is probably that she's a man.
<+gwenhyvar> I have a secret in my pants
#5703 [ + | - ] 491
<DAL9000> VB is like fingerpainting.
<Epitaph> except it's not fun.
#5701 [ + | - ] 604
<ssptg> fuck i deleted msn again
<Straylight> good
<Straylight> did you get all of it?
#5699 [ + | - ] 448
<Thrash|Zzz> YAY HARRY POTTER ON DVD
<Khross{killme}> O_O
<Khross{killme}> I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY
<Khross{killme}> Oh wait I'm heterosexual.
#5694 [ + | - ] 737
<Luke> spammers probably love receiving spam. "Grow your penis
150% overnight? Why didn't we think of that one!"
* delYsid has mortage, opportunity and penis in his score
file.
<delYsid> thats pretty effective against spam
<Luke> aren't you worried about missing opportunities to
mortgage your penis?
#5693 [ + | - ] 394
<uglykaka> uhhh AF is making thongs for 6-10 yr olds
<shaan> thongs?
<pagan> ya i saw that on the news, pretty funny shit eh
<_neil> jeez
<uglykaka> thats just wrong
<_neil> that's just wrong
<shaan> shake your pre puebescent groove thing
<shaan> they should market it as a "training thong"
#5691 [ + | - ] 564
<Daidoji> speaking of old nes games, I recall carrying out
clandestine operations in terms of game rentals
<Daidoji> for example, renting a copy of dragon warrior 4, and
swapping the chip with urban champion.
<Daidoji> I bet there are 5 or 6 kids who think dragon warrior
4 is the worst vs fighting game ever made
#5671 [ + | - ] 261
<KeeperS> is Jedi Knight 2 more sexy than me?
<Tsunamio> Yes
<Sivako|Morrowind> especially if you have the nude patch
#5667 [ + | - ] 79
<Hendrix> Is it a bad thing when you wank so much cum nothing
but air?
#5665 [ + | - ] 366
<Spooky> CUNT
<Spooky> Variation on the game fuck (qv), where you have to
say "cunt" and get louder and louder.
<Spooky> Use "fatty" near to fat people for a softer version
<Spooky> as it's not really offensive except to the fat
person, and fat people can't really punch you because their
fingers are like cushions.
#5661 [ + | - ] 359
<@Plaid> Somebody just came out of the bathroom across the
hall.... and this undeniable STENCH OF DEATH FOLLOWED THEM
OUT.
#5660 [ + | - ] 374
<Sys> I hate maths.  What do you reckon they'll do if I fail
it?
<0ut_Lore> you repeat it.  fail it AGAIN, and you face the
exclusion board.  guess what they do?  ;P
<Sys> Exclude you from having to do it a third time? :D
#5652 [ + | - ] 188
<JibbleWork> no amount of work would be able to get my
clenched cheeks open
#5648 [ + | - ] 391
<@Plaid> this song is much better with long hair
#5647 [ + | - ] 204
<Plaid> We got the "Share Minutes" plan. Call it family
bondage.
#5646 [ + | - ] 111
<+stray> Somehow, i cant get behind a prophet named JOE SMITH
<+krispy> hahaha
<+krispy> i can't get behind any
<+stray> the catholic church spent many years getting behind
ME (if you know what I mean *wink*)
#5643 [ + | - ] 229
<anju> hell,not only do i not have brains. . . i have EXTRA
BOOBS INSIDE MY HEAD instead
#5638 [ + | - ] 370
<Krispy> you could double specialize
<Krispy> GYN/PROCTOLOGY
<Krispy> THEN YOU COULD DO THE SHOCKER
<Krispy> AND IT WOULD BE ALL LEGAL
#5634 [ + | - ] 279
<JibbleWork> I'd rather jiz in the can than shit on the seat
<JibbleWork> holy god that came out wrong
#5626 [ + | - ] 215
*** jonathans changes topic to 'PLZ FWD ALL PACKAGES MARKED
"GAY" TO PROPER DEPARTMENTS (IN REAR)'
#5625 [ + | - ] 312
<Veen> if someone said they were 50% gay, would that probably
insinuate that they are bi?
<quatoria> It would insinuate they want you to blow them.
#5621 [ + | - ] 832
<Straylight> aw3some
<Straylight> oops
<Straylight> haha... i accidentally l33ted
#5614 [ + | - ] 395
<quatoria> you shat on your daughter? disgusting pervert.
<Plaid> No, you freak. I puked on her.
#5611 [ + | - ] 576
<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black
people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.
#5608 [ + | - ] 218
<deimos> too bad I didn't beat up quatoria
<deimos> I'm his puppet apparently
<deimos> since he has his hand up my ass all the time
<deimos> plz to be removing that btw
#5606 [ + | - ] 519
<synja> WOOOOOOOOOO
<matts> woooooooooo what
<synja> im celebrating in advance for when one of you guys
gives me an acct to an audio warez site that im about to ask
access for
#5604 [ + | - ] 494
<neo[soul]> people cant take jokes anymore
<neo[soul]> this lady at work brought her dog in
<neo[soul]> and i stared at it and said "yummy"
<neo[soul]> and she got scared and walked off
<neo[soul]> fucking idiot
#5603 [ + | - ] 653
<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4
#5599 [ + | - ] 210
<xmt> I have a Iframe but when i write text in it, and push
ENTER to get a new line it makes like two lines why ?
<trimp> xmt: you're problems are severe
<trimp> I think we have a level 3 drilion
<xmt> trimp: ?
<trimp> well lets just say that people at level 2 are in a
druling in a wheelchair and their keyboard is their voice.
<drlion> rofl
<xmt> could u help me with the problem or ?
<trimp> damnit xmt, I'm not a doctor!
<xmt> ok, why didn´t u say that at once
*** xmt has quit IRC
#5598 [ + | - ] 7200
<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't
let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was
GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to
possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I
figured that vampires don't have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate
driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
#5597 [ + | - ] 849
<Elfin>
lkmwclldsldldldldldld,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,e
,e,e,e,,,,eee,e,olwowowoowolsalslslsllslslslslslslllsllsllsllslls
lsls
<Elfin> That was me playing keyboard drums.
<memo> Rock on.
<Elfin> You know it.