hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#5703 [ + | - ] 498
<DAL9000> VB is like fingerpainting.
<Epitaph> except it's not fun.
#5701 [ + | - ] 626
<ssptg> fuck i deleted msn again
<Straylight> good
<Straylight> did you get all of it?
#5699 [ + | - ] 473
<Thrash|Zzz> YAY HARRY POTTER ON DVD
<Khross{killme}> O_O
<Khross{killme}> I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY
<Khross{killme}> Oh wait I'm heterosexual.
#5694 [ + | - ] 771
<Luke> spammers probably love receiving spam. "Grow your penis
150% overnight? Why didn't we think of that one!"
* delYsid has mortage, opportunity and penis in his score
file.
<delYsid> thats pretty effective against spam
<Luke> aren't you worried about missing opportunities to
mortgage your penis?
#5693 [ + | - ] 421
<uglykaka> uhhh AF is making thongs for 6-10 yr olds
<shaan> thongs?
<pagan> ya i saw that on the news, pretty funny shit eh
<_neil> jeez
<uglykaka> thats just wrong
<_neil> that's just wrong
<shaan> shake your pre puebescent groove thing
<shaan> they should market it as a "training thong"
#5691 [ + | - ] 578
<Daidoji> speaking of old nes games, I recall carrying out
clandestine operations in terms of game rentals
<Daidoji> for example, renting a copy of dragon warrior 4, and
swapping the chip with urban champion.
<Daidoji> I bet there are 5 or 6 kids who think dragon warrior
4 is the worst vs fighting game ever made
#5671 [ + | - ] 249
<KeeperS> is Jedi Knight 2 more sexy than me?
<Tsunamio> Yes
<Sivako|Morrowind> especially if you have the nude patch
#5667 [ + | - ] 74
<Hendrix> Is it a bad thing when you wank so much cum nothing
but air?
#5665 [ + | - ] 375
<Spooky> CUNT
<Spooky> Variation on the game fuck (qv), where you have to
say "cunt" and get louder and louder.
<Spooky> Use "fatty" near to fat people for a softer version
<Spooky> as it's not really offensive except to the fat
person, and fat people can't really punch you because their
fingers are like cushions.
#5661 [ + | - ] 367
<@Plaid> Somebody just came out of the bathroom across the
hall.... and this undeniable STENCH OF DEATH FOLLOWED THEM
OUT.
#5660 [ + | - ] 377
<Sys> I hate maths.  What do you reckon they'll do if I fail
it?
<0ut_Lore> you repeat it.  fail it AGAIN, and you face the
exclusion board.  guess what they do?  ;P
<Sys> Exclude you from having to do it a third time? :D
#5652 [ + | - ] 223
<JibbleWork> no amount of work would be able to get my
clenched cheeks open
#5648 [ + | - ] 416
<@Plaid> this song is much better with long hair
#5647 [ + | - ] 212
<Plaid> We got the "Share Minutes" plan. Call it family
bondage.
#5646 [ + | - ] 103
<+stray> Somehow, i cant get behind a prophet named JOE SMITH
<+krispy> hahaha
<+krispy> i can't get behind any
<+stray> the catholic church spent many years getting behind
ME (if you know what I mean *wink*)
#5643 [ + | - ] 252
<anju> hell,not only do i not have brains. . . i have EXTRA
BOOBS INSIDE MY HEAD instead
#5638 [ + | - ] 399
<Krispy> you could double specialize
<Krispy> GYN/PROCTOLOGY
<Krispy> THEN YOU COULD DO THE SHOCKER
<Krispy> AND IT WOULD BE ALL LEGAL
#5634 [ + | - ] 302
<JibbleWork> I'd rather jiz in the can than shit on the seat
<JibbleWork> holy god that came out wrong
#5626 [ + | - ] 232
*** jonathans changes topic to 'PLZ FWD ALL PACKAGES MARKED
"GAY" TO PROPER DEPARTMENTS (IN REAR)'
#5625 [ + | - ] 306
<Veen> if someone said they were 50% gay, would that probably
insinuate that they are bi?
<quatoria> It would insinuate they want you to blow them.
#5621 [ + | - ] 845
<Straylight> aw3some
<Straylight> oops
<Straylight> haha... i accidentally l33ted
#5614 [ + | - ] 417
<quatoria> you shat on your daughter? disgusting pervert.
<Plaid> No, you freak. I puked on her.
#5611 [ + | - ] 561
<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black
people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.
#5608 [ + | - ] 202
<deimos> too bad I didn't beat up quatoria
<deimos> I'm his puppet apparently
<deimos> since he has his hand up my ass all the time
<deimos> plz to be removing that btw
#5606 [ + | - ] 541
<synja> WOOOOOOOOOO
<matts> woooooooooo what
<synja> im celebrating in advance for when one of you guys
gives me an acct to an audio warez site that im about to ask
access for
#5604 [ + | - ] 525
<neo[soul]> people cant take jokes anymore
<neo[soul]> this lady at work brought her dog in
<neo[soul]> and i stared at it and said "yummy"
<neo[soul]> and she got scared and walked off
<neo[soul]> fucking idiot
#5603 [ + | - ] 685
<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4
#5599 [ + | - ] 237
<xmt> I have a Iframe but when i write text in it, and push
ENTER to get a new line it makes like two lines why ?
<trimp> xmt: you're problems are severe
<trimp> I think we have a level 3 drilion
<xmt> trimp: ?
<trimp> well lets just say that people at level 2 are in a
druling in a wheelchair and their keyboard is their voice.
<drlion> rofl
<xmt> could u help me with the problem or ?
<trimp> damnit xmt, I'm not a doctor!
<xmt> ok, why didn´t u say that at once
*** xmt has quit IRC
#5598 [ + | - ] 7185
<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't
let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was
GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to
possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I
figured that vampires don't have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate
driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
#5597 [ + | - ] 874
<Elfin>
lkmwclldsldldldldldld,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,e
,e,e,e,,,,eee,e,olwowowoowolsalslslsllslslslslslslllsllsllsllslls
lsls
<Elfin> That was me playing keyboard drums.
<memo> Rock on.
<Elfin> You know it.
#5596 [ + | - ] 747
<Fugazi> Like I said before, I never repeat myself!
#5595 [ + | - ] 220
<@goose> does any one know a way of checking if some one is
online without using msn or any over chat software
<@goose> ?
<+KawaiiUsagi> not unless you know their assigned ip addy
<@goose> nope
<@goose> BT change it every time you log on
<@goose> can you ping the phone number ?
#5592 [ + | - ] 233
<bytraper> you idiots!!!
<Synoptica> yeah i confess
#5590 [ + | - ] 604
*** Joins: lick_me_man (sss@202.146.243.202)
<@splicer|work> lick_me_man: <-- one of the lesser known
superheroes
#5588 [ + | - ] 659
<lusty_guy> any hot lady wanna role play
<+ladyfingerz> okay i'll be me and you be gone
#5586 [ + | - ] 428
| Lavalamp is (~lava@www.childrenpalace.edu.vn])
<@madog> vietnam sucks anyway
<Lavalamp> vn = vietnam?
<Lavalamp> maybe that's why it's so lagged
<@madog> *sigh*
<@Guilty> I figured Vietnam would have a wonderful network of
fiber since all the holes were already dug
#5585 [ + | - ] 268
<Sys> What's *really* not funny is the nasty
metal-on-oh-so-sensitive-metal sound my hard drive makes when
I try and access anything in the last 2 gig.... oh dear....
#5584 [ + | - ] 719
<Villager> haven't you heard the phrase 'big is beautiful'?
<Alexander> i've heard the phrase 'fat is repulsive'
#5580 [ + | - ] 321
<blitzoid> It's got a thousand people saying that you CANNOT
live without a "ULTRA RARE FOIL CARD MTG SUPER GOLEM ORC
MONSTER FLOWER" card. I don't even like MTG, and these fucks
are saying that without these cards my colon will fuse shut
and my eyes will melt and drain down my face.
#5579 [ + | - ] 511
<|argh|> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So
how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except
for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the
taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and
the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly.
#5577 [ + | - ] 346
<MrMoves> Adam, you see driving a car, is a bit like making
love to a beautiful woman, take it easy at first, get
comfortable, then rag the arse off her until she dies, then
trade her in for a new model
#5548 [ + | - ] 313
<CoMBo> man i got 12 hrs of sleep about to come in a couple
minutes
<vermifuge> you sleep 12 hours everyday ?
<CoMBo> yeah give or take an hour
<vermifuge> i hope thats fucking canadian hours
<CoMBo> main reason why i didn't do good in my grade 13
<CoMBo> i think thats why i look so young, and skinny
<CoMBo> cuz i get so much rest
<|]resta> or it could be the HIV
#5543 [ + | - ] 3811
<andy> moo spelled backwards is moo
<andy> no wait
#5542 [ + | - ] 1829
[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even
hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking
into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ
#5541 [ + | - ] 241
* icenine --train &
<j0ker> luck with your new job
<j0ker> :)
<icenine> not going to my job
<icenine> i'm going to go punch a recruiter in the face
<icenine> but close enough
#5537 [ + | - ] 36
<memo> Brilliant astrophysicists from around the world rely
exclusively on Semi for all their toilet-cleaning needs.
#5536 [ + | - ] 918
*** Joins: meganpreg
(patricia25@modemcable172.78-202-24.cap.mc.videotron.ca)
<meganpreg> hi all
<Ghaleon> hello
<geoffh> meganpreg on #chatzone #chat #netsex #mindspring #
CheeseBurger #gameart #gamedev #FSEntertainment #india +#
pakistan #xxx
<geoffh> hungry bored pregnant looking-for-sex-chat muslim
woman (?) looking to develop interactive media in southern
asia while troubleshooting problems with her ISP
<MachinShi> lol
#5533 [ + | - ] 338
<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag
over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)
#5531 [ + | - ] 146
<Anton> my unhairy mates have better luck than me with women
<Spooky> shitty
<Spooky> I figure keep your spirits up and standards low
#5530 [ + | - ] 161
<Spooky> HOLY FUCK
<Spooky> Send her my way when your done
<Anton> will do
<Spooky> I'll knock the mascara off that
<Spooky> Two little black circles on the wall next to the bed