hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that
want to do me?
<moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders

<Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in
high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on
acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned

<Knighted> JLsoft: when i was flying into toronto, there was a
good deal of cloud coverage and visibility was low. so i
looked out the window and immediately though "this is like an
N64 game"

<McMoo> i think i dislocated my esophagus
<orion-> fix it with everclear

<Mutiny-> "large explosion in downtown jerusalem, two cats
scared, houseplant shaken and dropped onto floor, israelis
occupy palestinian owned areas, 12 palestinians dead in
retalitory missle attacks"

<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get
totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD
vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays

<Jewedass> atarax: Find yourself a nice 26 year old woman and
pretend she's two 13 year olds

<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other
computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub
was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim
password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat
on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with
computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i
should go to computer school like you!'

<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They
just came out with internet 7.0"

<@BitS> LordViper is serious about not playing multiplayer
games, he even has sex by himself :/

<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try
a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony
PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

<chinger> My real name is Thoma
<chinger> s
<LimberDink> Well hello there, Thoma
<LimberDink> s

<jstepka2> better than losing your virginity to a 17 yr old
midget at 22

<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when
DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows

<zymurgy> #define NULL NULL /* because I can dammit! */

<Gnuspice> shit, you know you've been doing too much SQL when
you're at a prompt and do SELECT * FROM /bin;

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds
to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in
my apartment it is.

<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
<Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid

* xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of
Cat-5 cables"
<xL> #1: A windows NT network

<Procyan> is there like 1 person on earth that knows tcl/tk
and is writing all of the apps?
<unSlider> procyan: no, there are a bunch of people who dont
know tcl/tk but are writing apps for it anyway

<clay> protocol defines that i place nothing less than a
television UP YOUR ASS

<@zexion> the ice age VCD sucks ass
<@zexion> the guy was jerking off while filimg the movie or
something...
<@zexion> and some asshole kept gettng up for popcorn or
something... I couldnt watch it after 10 minutes
<@zexion> gotta wait for the SVCD
<@^101> it brings the theater experince home zex
<@zexion> 101: always looking at the bright side of life eh?
:)

<DCBastard> wow - either fairlight and deviance have
absolutely pathetic suppliers or morrowind has some good copy
protection
<DCBastard> i think it's absolutely disgusting that you can
BUY a game before downloading it

<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front
door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up
some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story
foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public
eye.....

<crist0bal> rhino
<crist0bal> make me an op
<ryano> what are the ingredients

<jonathans> the vas deferens is the path from the nuts to the
weiner where your breakfast travels

<mofo> s2pid virgin cola commercials.
<reuben> i bet it's harder to type "s2pid" than it is to type
"stupid"
<mofo> s2pid looks cooler and sophisticated though, so :P
<reuben> it looks stupid

<TcShBoY> where is the /etc/passwd located?

<reub> if i ever met you guys in real life i would never touch
your rulers

<langdon> FUCK OFF AND HELP ME
<langdon> i mean
<langdon> fuck on
<langdon> fuck over here and help me

<joey``> ryan...what are you doing for new year's
<ryano> going on dalnet

<`rip> ryano is a dick sucker
<clay> yes
<clay> a social dicksucker
<clay> much like the social smoker
<clay> he puffs for his homies
<`rip> puffs on his homies

<langdon> win2k is tight.
<langdon> i added all my warez ftp sites to network
neighborhood

<jonathans> i wonder if all women think like that
<reubenf> not all women think

<langdon> i put my britney spears doll on my speaker.
<langdon> if i get real low to my desk.
<langdon> i can see up her skirt!

<reub> i hate people that can't complete a fucking

<sifelaver> you know who you should ban?
<reuben> who
<sifelaver> DEEZ NUTS

<l0wkey> i used to be a freelance gynecologist

<Myles> if ur piss comes out like vanilla pudding wat duz that
mean

<Lith> im tellin ya.. im sitting on a land mine
<Lith> err
<Lith> gold mine

<clay> i read the word "c'mon" in a comic book
<clay> so i went to my mom
<clay> and said
<clay> mom, what does c'mon mean, and i pronounced it like
semen

<myles> i jus wanna go to court and b on the plantiff side for
once

<iban> uhoh
<iban> its 5am
<iban> about time for my morning wood

<myles> i wonder if i talk to my marijuana it will make it
grow faster

<theo-> ADSL.....is that some sort of learning difficulty?

<iban> when i was your age all i had was a mac, and photoshop
<iban> if i wanted an online gf i had to draw her

<Pad-lock> Hey Shithead! You want a fuckin fight?!?! If so
come to #teens4christ That is.. if your not a fuckin PUSSY!!!!

<clay> SHUT THE FUCK UP, SOLPIT
<clay> I WILL DESCEND UPON YOUR FUCKING MOTHER IN THE NIGHT
AND SPROUT A BROTHER TO YOU

<joey`> clay...doy you know anything about networking
<clay> yes
<clay> the rj45 pee pee goes into the nic pee pee, joey