hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

<clay> i was sitting in khaleds dorm
<clay> while he was hitting his gravity bong
<clay> and i said dude
<clay> make some shit so i can irc with windows dude

<`rip> when you go into a job interview
<`rip> and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are
<`rip> what do you say
<clay> you tell them that youre indecisive
<clay> and then stop talking

<MK_Ultra> trade my sister for fast appz/OS site

<jonathans> statutory rape is the one thing id be okay with
having on my record

<jesus-> jesus saves, but good thing im jesus- , cause i cant
do shit

<matto> the keg is tapped
<matto> awaiting the guests
<`jon> and you're online

<reuben> you're like people with bumper stickers.
<reuben> telling the same lines over and over and over again.
<reuben> anything witty is only witty once
<reuben> hey
<reuben> that would be a good bumper sticker

<landen> I want to register it before Microsoft buys out
K.Mardam-Bey

<CiXeL> if you have zillions of bbses in a billion ips using
strong encryption all over, GAME OVER GOVT

<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the
teleprompter

<clay> math is for kids who cant get by on looks and trench
coats alone

<Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic

<clay> and i raped your mother %your.age years ago

<Conjure> closed minded idiots
<Conjure> playing with feces owns

<langdon> *** Unable to resolve 255.255.255.255
<langdon> how do i get that IP?
<langdon> is that like.
<langdon> when the internet is full?

<l0wkey> the women in porn spread so much all i can see are
kidneys

<iban> in 5 years irc will be obsolite
<ryano> so will spelling

<intuit> hmm maybe sumtime next week i will go outside

<tsal> my dick is so big it's got its own dick

<l0wkey> if i see something so fucking cute, like another
rugrats movie or babe movie, im going on a spree
<sabbat> a killing spree i hope
<l0wkey> i was thinking along the lines of shopping spree, but
suggestion noted

<clay> prostitution is illegal in the united states of america
<ryano> not in nevada
<clay> were you conceived in nevada

<Spudge> if my mother was on right now i would kb her ass so
quick

<lewZer> Man, translating 2 pages of non-spaced,
non-punctuated, instructions for making lsd is awful rough on
a 9th grade dropout

<chris--> now i have to tell the coach that i can't play
because my wrist hurts
<chris--> and he asks me how i injuried it
<chris--> and i say swinging a bat
<chris--> and it sounds stupid.
<chris--> it has 'masturbation injury' written all over it

<l0wkey> i am in a jam...it is my old roommates 21st birthday
tonight, no school tomorrow, a few movies i want to see,
Simpsons and X-Files...what to do?
<l0wkey> I KNOW...STAY ON IRC

<reuben> send me a picture of you.
<{Elmo}> no scanner
<reuben> get one.
<{Elmo}> no $$
<ryano> in other words reub, you probably dont want to see her

<l0wkey> do any of you wonder why pubic hair doesnt get as
long as normal hair

<gee> i made $52 at busch gardens saturday
<iban> in a bathroom stall?

<l0wkey> usually if someone pisses me off i punch their
girlfriend in the mouth and scram

<cade> zzz, you wanna kill yourself or something?
<zZz-> cade, I've attempted so many times and failed, it's not
even funny..
<zZz-> Accually, it is kinda funny.

<pimp> im going to go play with my toys now
<RiP> that means hes going to play with himself right
<pimp> no, im going to go play with my X-Men action figures

<gee-> i stole a 5 dollar pen from officemax and it didnt work
<homieC> your dad stole a 5 dollar condom from a 7-11 and it
didnt work

<nost> whered iban go
<langdon> home
<nost> this is his home

<reuben> my dad claims that he got his first piece of ass from
a cow.
<reuben> i had a great upbringing

<l0wkey> im getting hemorrhoids
<l0wkey> from sitting on my butt all day ircing
<l0wkey> i should sue Khaled

<reuben> i'm going to name my kid with elite capitalization
<langdon> my kid will be all caps.

<fagx> in order to maintain our status as high-ranking
officials in #lost we have a maximum of 1 offline friend each

<iHaveAids> Anyone want to talk to a 17 / f?

<Merlin3> It was my grandmother's dying wish that I receive
some dave matthews bootlegs... if you have any mp3ed (not from
the 4 CDs) please msg me or just go and DCC it to me... thank
you for your concern. with everyone's help, I think I will be
able to make it through these difficult times.

<cheerio> i like computers better than chicks cuz they will
willingly accept my 3.5" floppy

<Puff-working> I play the banjo..never learned fiddle..but I
might someday.
<Puff-working> and I can make a harmonica sing.
<Unfor|Work> I play the CD player

<ryo-ohki> and it would be an understatement to say I AM
FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND
<DCBastard> lol - what else is new?
<DCBastard> one day you should come into the channel and go
"WOW - I AM TOTALLY FUCKING STRAIGHT" - we'd all be like "holy
shit! that is amazing!"

<TittiesMcEarmuffs> ( . )^_^( . )

<thinkmad> who made these stupid ass tutorials?
<thinkmad> one of them should be
<thinkmad> how to be fucking stupid

<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my
grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK

<Gersh> wow
<Gersh> I rule
<Gersh> I made one of my ex's cry over aim
<Gersh> dammit I wish she had a webcam

<jjz_> One point I had a MS Agent reading IRC windows while
I'd play halflife

<GiRLiE-> ur cruel.. but funny
<bytraper> and you have a beuatiful mind... but you're fat

<Cyrix_> everytime you take a crap, you design the unique
cracks and lines in your terds, and sometimes decorate them
with peanuts or corn
<Cyrix_> and occasionally, you tint the shade. thats all
designing

* DuneBoy wonders why his code won't compile
<DuneBoy> missing ) my ass
<ZorbaTHut> "Ironically, however, his ass was indeed missing
its right cheek."