hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#4686 [ + | - ] 379
* Morpheus agrees with tark, but I also prefer nude wet legal
aged girls =P
<Tarkuss> hey...legal age is 12 in some countries...
<Morpheus> 8 in tiwan
<Tarkuss> Morpheus: EIGHT!?
* Morpheus nods as he watches tark go to get a passport
#4680 [ + | - ] 7242
<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?
#4659 [ + | - ] 228
<Kyle|> im making a SHELL for WINDOWS that LOOKS and FEELS
like the REAL STANDALONE OS THAT WILL BE DONE NOT SOON!
<Urganite> what you mean to tell me
<Urganite> is that you're going to create a windows program
<Urganite> that just looks like what you want your OS to be?
<Urganite> ...
<Urganite> that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my
life
<Peasant> Someone should make a DHTML OS
<Kyle|> peasant: dont give me ideas
#4658 [ + | - ] 323
<Const> zero's gay?  I just thought he was into porking his
cat
<Zero> My cat is a girl :p
#4654 [ + | - ] 167
<Sap> what if i draw a hand on my face and give myself a
blowjob?
#4644 [ + | - ] 288
<Byn> What's the difference between cows and the guys on this
floor?
<Byn> The cows don't jack off in our showers.
#4643 [ + | - ] 497
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSSS; got it working
<Const> Your penis?
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSS!
#4637 [ + | - ] 379
<SDHawk> dreamweaver is for dense idiots
<OneiWilly> dreamweaver is good use it
<SDHawk> I rest my case
#4633 [ + | - ] 355
<Kyro> searching for: penis
*** Kyro has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
#4631 [ + | - ] 371
<ic0n0> i love the midwest
<NecroMort> ilke gurls with big fat titties.
<ic0n0> what does that have to do with the midwest?
<polar> you have something against titties?
#4630 [ + | - ] 425
<eblank> it's funny how computers can make you have balls.
<eblank> because if you ever yelled at me with such force in
real life,
<eblank> i'd probably already be seeing if you fit into a
wendy's biggie-size cup.
#4629 [ + | - ] 485
<eldee> jedi kite.. that'd be a bad ass game
<friedegg> yeah
<boozie> HAHA
<eldee> fly kites in a park with other jedi.. try to light
saber the other guys string
<boozie> oh.. i thought i was gonna be about jedi jews
<boozie> stealing nickels and shit
<eldee> that'd be jedi kike you idjit
<boozie> ah.. thats right
<eldee> get your derrogatory slurs straight
<BombScare> man, every time i think someone in here cant get
any dumber boozie steps up
#4628 [ + | - ] 487
* Smatters sets mode: +girlfriend -lan Element Element
*** Element is now known as You
* You are not an relationship operator. Cannot set mode
(+girlfriend)
#4627 [ + | - ] 375
<Ear> ARSENIC IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY BECAUSE IT KILLS
CHILDREN.
<Khross> YES
<Ear> DEAD BABIES EQUALS PROFIT.
<Khross> LESS MINORITY KIDS = LESS WELFARE
<Khross> MORE PROFIT
<Ear> IT ALSO PROVIDES FREE BACON.
<Khross> YES, OF COURSE
#4623 [ + | - ] 325
<lunargirl> Without Uncle Freddy we have to rely on our dildo
supply.
<lunargirl> Which dwindles everyday.
<lunargirl> But it's ok, we have a special robot made for us.
<lunargirl> Out of dildos.
<lunargirl> THE PERPETUAL DILDO MACHINE.
<lunargirl> Hello?
#4618 [ + | - ] 67
<Toen[hw]> so when you inherited one and a half x and half a
y, you realized "Oooh, that little timmy kid's got a tight
ass"
#4616 [ + | - ] 206
<tatsumi_oreo> I've got an assload of work to do. (Where
assload is equal to the distance from the east wall of my anal
canal to the west wall of my anal canal, and my penis always
points north; anyhow, judging by the size of vecna's manhood,
I have a lot of work to do.)
#4613 [ + | - ] 1327
<SoulBain> I think my keyboard's unplugged.
#4612 [ + | - ] 934
<Overlord> That just pooped into my head.
<Overlord> Ack, one of my worst typos.
#4606 [ + | - ] 271
<Falthorn> Like the ninja, pants hold no barrier to the
ghostly precision of my meat!
#4605 [ + | - ] 344
<loretian> They'd say "wow, look at this cute kid with a
broken leg. Can't even walk around. That's so cute! I wonder
what his dick tastes like"
#4603 [ + | - ] 849
<Thrasher> What drugs should be used to increase statistics in
my game?
<Ear> Well, beta-blockers would have a positive effect on
accuracy, but a negative effect on strength.
<Ear> Acebutolol hydrocholoride, alprenolol hydrocholoride,
atenolol, labetalol hydrochloride, metoprolol tartrate,
nadolol, oxprenolol hydrochloride, propranolol hydrocholoride,
sotalol hydrocholoride are the beta-blockers banned by the
IOC.
<Thrasher> ...Remind me not to ask you for help again.
#4602 [ + | - ] 3350
<FreshBrew> IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
<FreshBrew> HELL FUCKING YES
<kolby> you still in english?
#4599 [ + | - ] 615
*** tatsumi_oreo is now known as tatsumi\Beatingof\
*** tatsumi\Beatingof\ is now known as tatsumi\BeatingSoF\
#4585 [ + | - ] 253
<[ric]> personally I prefer a nice big vibro up the ass while
typing two handed
<gaymale> your coworkers get suspicious if you type good one
hand in front of them
<[ric]> yeh.. luckily I have the door wired up to the vibro,
that way the motor cuts out as they enter the room
#4583 [ + | - ] 507
<Spesh> It takes skill to climb the corporate ladder on your
knees.
#4576 [ + | - ] 548
<MattDC> how big is the back of a CD case cover (including
spines) in inches?
<CraiZE> MattDC i can send you a program
<CraiZE> that prints you covers in the good size
<MattDC> i have one, but i need to know for graphic arts class
<CraiZE> ah well then , i got no idea
<mahs> MattDC: you could umm. use a ruler
<_8ight> well.  if you cant find a ruler.  i found this info
that may aid you in a makeshift ruler.
<_8ight> According to A Descriptive Dictionary and Atlas of
Sexology (Francoeur et al., 1991), the human penis in a
flaccid state on average is between 3 and 4 inches in length
and 1 inch  in diameter. In an erect state, the penis, on
average, is between 5 to 7 inches in length and 1.5 inches in
diameter.
#4575 [ + | - ] 177
<Glex25> Space Left On [ C: 5.29/8.87 GB. D: 9.91/19.73 GB. E:
52.14/153.38 GB. Total: 67.34/181.98 GB ] .
<Scofco> dear lord
<phaded> holy good god
<phaded> how do you sleep at night?!
#4525 [ + | - ] 434
<drlion> i think all the spam broke my god damn mailbox
<drlion> porn is fucking up the internet
<drlion> and we can do nothing but watch
<RabYak> heh...nice choice of words :)
<drlion> thanks, and i don't mean idiomatically
#4521 [ + | - ] 301
<Anton> 8mm is a good film as well, but I'm puzzled as to why
nicolas cage never got arrested for murder
<Alexander> hes just an actor
<Waldo> damn!
<Alexander> it wasn't real
#4509 [ + | - ] 1487
<CoMBo> haha, dude i can kill u
<CoMBo> with my bear hands
<refujee> you're a bear?
<refujee> or did you just get bear hands grafted onto your
body?
#4505 [ + | - ] 296
<God_of_Mischief> SODOMIZING ME WILL NOT WARM MY ASS UP!
#4502 [ + | - ] 250
<Khross|Zzz> You can't have my precious cock ring.
<nilBnW|Zzz> You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead cock!!
#4500 [ + | - ] 185
<vecna> Holy fucking christ, lord and savior, show us your
tits, that's a lot of ZSNES ASM code
#4497 [ + | - ] 324
<rizen> uptime length is the geek dick
#4493 [ + | - ] -12
<Ear{code}> CAPS ON CARBON DIXOIDE LIMITS THE NUMBER OF ARABS
WE KILL.
#4488 [ + | - ] 6072
<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
<FM{FF1}> ...men.
<FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.
#4486 [ + | - ] 369
* F9|Zzz [ Your Mother - Intimate Moaning and Groaning (Live
Version).mp3 ]
#4482 [ + | - ] 453
<CabbagePatchKid> I AM THE PHYSICAL INCARNATION OF FEAR
<andy> Who knew evil would be so chubby.
<CabbagePatchKid> You can change my diaper too. JUST LIKE A
REAL BABY.
<CabbagePatchKid> YES WRITHE IN TERROR, MEAGER HUMANS.
#4481 [ + | - ] 68
*** Pope (faykdogpo@AC9654C3.ipt.aol.com) has joined #Sphere
<Khross> Raped any children lately?
#4479 [ + | - ] 1018
<Khross> andy, time for the secret unix decoder handshake.
* andy sodomizes Khross
* Khross orgasms
<Khross> Okay, we can start the meeting.
#4478 [ + | - ] 619
<tatsumi> There's a difference between being grumpy and hating
every little fucker in existence.
#4476 [ + | - ] 490
<Dreq> is there anyway to get the DOS version?
<andy> the dos version of win98?
<Dreq> yes
#4474 [ + | - ] -214
<resident> Africa is a mix of clit-choppin' negroes,
godforsaken deserts, and maneating plants.
#4472 [ + | - ] 923
<the_Speed_Bump> I have a severe, irrational phobia against
midgets with red hair who wear black trenchcoats and sell
kitchen cleaners in back alleys behind hotels whose names
start with the letter 'U'.
<the_Speed_Bump> Every day is a struggle.
#4471 [ + | - ] 284
<the_Speed_Bump> I can't imagine a conversation that covers
both philosophy and shit without being terribly disjointed.
<the_Speed_Bump> "So, what do you think of God?" "I just took
the hugest shit ever!"
#4470 [ + | - ] -4
<[Prae|Code]> As it stands, AvDom is a levelless, XPless,
HPless, MPless, Classless game system
<[Prae|Code]> and it is only that way because it was designed
that way ^_^ <the_Speed_Bump> Sounds intricate.
#4460 [ + | - ] 1419
<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a
pee-pee.  They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET"
BEFORE LEAVING.  Flush toilet was in parentheses.  So I
assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#4457 [ + | - ] 423
<phubuh> WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE DO THIS
<phubuh> I JUST DOWNLOADED SoF2 AND IT WAS BLACK&WHITE
<phubuh> OH I KNOW I'LL NAME IS SOF2 SO MORE PEOPLE DOWNLOAD
FROM ME AND USE MY BANDWITH OR HEY WAIT A MINUTE
<Katana> I tried downloading Harry Potter and got Ancient
Secrets of Asian Sex
#4456 [ + | - ] 930
<HailBrak> me: "we should form a company that makes manly
china patterns"
<HailBrak> my friend: "i agree. i mean, how much success am i
supposed to have when all the patterns are called "tender
blossom" or some shit? i want one called, like, "Glock" or
"Beer and Tits" or "Lets Burn Down Fucking Pier 1"