hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#4361 [ + | - ] 306
<JDigital> I have ops in #pyoko... I put it on my resume along
with my Slashdot karma ;)
#4360 [ + | - ] 334
<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant
foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
<RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would
be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you?
#4356 [ + | - ] 694
<teu> I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my
girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to
double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still
totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with
me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me.
We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally
feel like our relationship is fully equal
#4355 [ + | - ] 483
<Semi> What are you talking about?
<Rico> Fuck if I know. Your mother, probably.
#4352 [ + | - ] 296
<Khrosscpp> If by "whup" you mean "penetrate until colon
rupture", I'm way ahead of you.
#4351 [ + | - ] 1098
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY
HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART
DISEASE.
#4349 [ + | - ] 288
<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.
<Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.
<Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.
<Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.
<Kashan> he's waiting for your call
#4337 [ + | - ] 222
<Lord-Data> spanish girls like come with a tan by default
<Lord-Data> its like they come factory fitted with a fully
body kit :)
#4333 [ + | - ] 375
*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts
*Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning
wood
#4330 [ + | - ] 268
<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<Gen|us> a black mans cock
<ismell> you toenails ?
<Booyah> crib death
#4329 [ + | - ] 614
*** @pHaT|B33R is now known as @pHaT|ZzZz
<@JumperXL> later
<@JumperXL> nite drunkard
<@ismell> l8
<@JumperXL> thats irc dedication. smashed off his gord but
still changes his nick to ZzZz before he passes out.
#4328 [ + | - ] 750
<Nice_Guy> i love u
<kcb0ddah> i love you too
<kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number?
#4326 [ + | - ] 241
<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high!
#4325 [ + | - ] 503
<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten.
:|
<mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress
<nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses.
<mightyflo> you get what you pay for
#4324 [ + | - ] 445
<|hOrNeT|> Does anyone have Sims Vacation please that they can
hook me up with?? I've been trying to get that for my
girlfriend forever and I don't get any sex0r anymore if I
can't get it
#4322 [ + | - ] 2567
<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with
buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to
balance a bucket on your face.
#4321 [ + | - ] 500
<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
<kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone
knows is going to break under the pressure
<FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they
vote for her?
<kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza
and saw a moderatly cute girl
<kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way
and get her in bed
<mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
<kung_fu_mike> from behind is right
#4319 [ + | - ] 308
<orion> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid
chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized
genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again
#4314 [ + | - ] 64
<madwoota> rice rockets are for fags and shrivel dicks
<madwoota> 'hey baby, lets hump in the wrx..' 'sorry, cant
even get my panties off in here'
#4311 [ + | - ] 37
<_8ight> i put a hit of LSD on a hamster's eyeball in high
school
<_8ight> it died that nite :(
#4310 [ + | - ] 324
<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
<Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've
been getting lately.
<Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly
appreciate. ;-)
#4308 [ + | - ] 176
<K][cK> just had some cold jack and cock :)
#4306 [ + | - ] 1866
(^[QuRvE]^) its freezing in my class
(xyst) qurve is freezing his ass?
(bc) qurve is freaking in my ass
(nexxai) QURVE HAS A FAT ASS
(xyst) QURVE STOP TOUCHING MY ASS
(seiki) QURVE LIKES IT IN THE ASS
(^[QuRvE]^) It's nice having friends.
#4305 [ + | - ] 1009
<DTOX> ha, did you know entry-level pharmacists make $90k/yr?
<DTOX> I'm in the wrong line of work...
<Xyrem> DTOX : that's about the most boring job i've seen
<Xyrem> putting pills into a bottle
<DTOX> and in your pocket
<DTOX> and in your mouth
<DTOX> and in people's drinks
#4304 [ + | - ] 317
<K34R> im going to buy 6 monitors and a big metal rack and
position them all around me
<K34R> so it will be like im captain of the starship ianprise
<K34R> on a mission to hack the gibson
#4303 [ + | - ] 397
<D1> dude, I'm so puerto rican.
<Guilty> I dont get it
<BR4D> youre so elton john
<Guilty> That I get
#4301 [ + | - ] 331
(bc) i have the newest version of windows from microsoft...
Fuck ME
#4291 [ + | - ] 136
<_Deathbr_> u can update ur sblive value or gamer to a live
5.1
<_Deathbr_> i saw that at friends house and i was like whoa..
u come across some kewl shit while lookn for eprom reading
writing info's
<travolta> you can also find a lot of cool pages if you search
for the word "the"
#4287 [ + | - ] 988
<memo> > Would you like to go fuck yourself? (Y/N)
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> ITS NOT WORKIGN
#4285 [ + | - ] 389
<mightyflo> TP-PS2 667 Remote Control: Infrared Transmitter
for PS/PS2
<mightyflo> "Put your gamepad away and watch DVDs with a
wireless remote, just like the pros use! Yeah, pro DVD
watchers, that's right."
<SukiPotato4> Yeah, I have my bachelors in law, but my masters
in DVD watching
#4284 [ + | - ] 337
<toxic> i found out about lesbians in 6th grade
<toxic> :)
<toxic> no actually not lesbians
<CrdStang> hahaha
<toxic> but that they could finger themselves
<spazzer> lol
<toxic> i was like oh shit! they use pencils too?!
<sy|{0ti|{> i watched a clip of some pron when i was in 5th
grade
<sy|{0ti|{> and some chick was pinchin her nipples and shakin
em round
<sy|{0ti|{> and i was like "WTF" girls jack off their tittys "
<CrdStang> LOL
<sy|{0ti|{> yeah
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 5th grade
<sy|{0ti|{> i was a regular jerk a holic
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 8th grade , i was skippin
school to do it
<sy|{0ti|{> hell by the time i was in 10th grade , i quit
school to do it fulltime
#4281 [ + | - ] 27833
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after
i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face
over the internet
#4280 [ + | - ] 926
<O_6> here is my autobiography in 50 lines:
<O_6> wtf
<O_6> goddamn keyboard
<O_6> f;aowheif;oawuhe;faouw\hfe;oauwhfe!
<matts> interesting autobiography
#4278 [ + | - ] 8303
<BombScare> i beat the internet
<BombScare> the end guy is hard
#4276 [ + | - ] 280
<R0SC0E> i think [shaolin soccer] was about to be released
same weekend as Resident Evil
<R0SC0E> but they pushed it back to not be in competition
<mightyflo> zombie soccer!
<mightyflo> you could put the shaolin soccer guys up against a
bunch of zombies
<mightyflo> they could do like bullet kicks and blow their
heads off and stuff
<nitrifik_> no, zombies against zombies
<nitrifik_> slowest soccer game ever
#4275 [ + | - ] 42
<someone> anybody who would by Celine Dions music deserves to
have their computer crash ;)~
#4274 [ + | - ] 241
<DeX`> i could eat a 4lb london broil and have room left for a
small chinese woman
<Damaceles> after you ate her you'd have to eat again in an
hour
#4265 [ + | - ] 1793
<Deffy> Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies,
I get candy.
#4262 [ + | - ] 600
<jestuh> we are professional idlers
<jestuh> we don't get paid to chat!
#4260 [ + | - ] 404
<McMoo> My computer's maximum uptime: 4w 2d 15h 39m 3s, set on
Tue, Feb 19 2002 at 5:53:00p
<McMoo> LOOK AT HOW BIG MY DICK IS
<McMoo> 4 WEEKS BIG!!!!!!!
#4257 [ + | - ] 871
<dodge> fuck, thought somthing was wrong with my 's' key then,
it kept repeating, looked down and it turns out i had my
finger on it
#4256 [ + | - ] 553
<OpsuPup> i was driving along one day, saw a bmw and thought,
that's an ugly bmw, then i realised it was a merc, then i
thought, hmm, nice looking merc
#4255 [ + | - ] 269
<brock101> whats speeds should i get over a lan, with a 10/100
connection ?
<@WheelOr> 10 to 100 Mbits/sec.
<brock101> -_-
<brock101> thanks, i knew that
<brock101> i walked into that one didn`t i
<@WheelOr> I suppose so.
#4253 [ + | - ] 305
<FarginBoard> I tried to get AIDS once, but even those people
wouldn't do it with me
#4249 [ + | - ] 685
<Altoid> patience, young skywalker
<DeX`> but that leia bitch wont put out!
<DeX`> shes got those huge danishes on her ears to hang
onto....
<Altoid> mmmm
<Altoid> danish
<Altoid> you fuck her, I'll eat the ears
#4248 [ + | - ] 803
<Dark_un> monitors so dark
<Dark_un> cant watch rush hour 2
<Dark_un> can barely see chris tucker
#4247 [ + | - ] 1769
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be
milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
#4243 [ + | - ] 346
<Kir> if i had a better body, and clearer skin, i'd be a
snobby bitch
#4239 [ + | - ] 250
<Scofco> i could play with vaginas all day
<Scofco> but boobs, i can play with for only 10 minutes, then
i get bored
#4238 [ + | - ] 187
<Scofco> i want to stick it up my butt
<Scofco> not my 'chocolate starfish'
<fcastle> lol same diffrence u doosh bag :)
<Scofco> i don't even have a chocolate starfish
<Scofco> i hate seafood