Corey: that butterfinger commercial Corey: has got to be the worst marketing idea i've ever heard of PfhorRunner: which? Corey: it's got that hand with the orange index finger Corey: and every time i see it Corey: i can't help but think someone took it in the ass Corey: or the ear Corey: or somewhere their finger was NOT supposed to go PfhorRunner: LOL
<blotch> heres a cool office trick <blotch> unscrew the speaker part of your coworkers phone and throw in a roll of quarters and seal it back up <blotch> then after about 2 months of them being used to the weight remove the coins when they're away <blotch> and watch them lift the phone the next time someone calls and bash themselves in the face
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> so i ditched her didnt answer her calls etc <Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and she totally brushed me <Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and hooked up with my mate <joop`> so you fucked him to make her jealous?
Faustmaster300:My friend got kicked out of french once. Faustmaster300:He goes,'Madam! I have a joke for you!' Faustmaster300:'What is it Zach?' Faustmaster300:'Why wasn't Jesus born in Paris?' Faustmaster300:'THEY COULDN'T FIND THREE WISE MEN!' Faustamster300: and after about 10 min of sitting the hallway, he pops his head back in the door and goes, 'Oh, and they couldn't find a virgin either.'
<Warbum> Hey guys, I'm guilty of "intellectual property theft" <Warbum> The other day, I walked into a library, got out a book, went home, and read it. <Warbum> And the copywright holders didn't even get a dime!
<IanT> is it just me <IanT> or is it a little creepy that my mp3 player put "call me when you're sober" right next to "date rape"
<leoboiko> I wanted to search for that flamewar in which Linus called the Gnome guys "fucking idiots" <leoboiko> so I googled for "torvalds gnome fucking" <leoboiko> luckly, google still doesn't give you exactly what you ask for
<Oddness> Is it safe to put a 100W lightbulb in a 60W outlet? <Atma-Mage> Do you enjoy having a face full of glassy shards of red-hot pain? <Fire_i> Read: Yes, it is.
<zip> IRC really has terrible markup. So many unclosed tags. <zip> Oops. </zip>
<Numi> I was having trouble getting screen dumps in unix so I went into #unix and said <Numi> "Does anyone know how to do a screen dump in unix?" <Numi> 5 minutes and no reply, so I modify it a bit <Numi> "Two hot girls are stripping on webcam for me, how do i take a picture to show you guys?" <Numi> 13 offers of assistance within 2 minutes. Brilliant.
< soultan> how come when i view the contents of a binary i don't see no 0s and 1s? < soultan> they don't exist after all? < soultan> we've been fooled
<%spock1104> lmao, some poor bastard in florida had his house burn down thanks to a dell <+Toba> I would make a joke about needing a firewall on his home box <+Toba> but that's just too low
<pR@y4m0jo> Man, i have to take a huge dump, I have such a backlog of shit I could be a bash moderator.
<ds4l> Tried to beat off today when mom was at the store <ds4l> It s just me and mom living in this house <ds4l> I popped in my fav porno and it started in a different place then where I left it.
<b1rdn> WTF are you talking about, courtney love is like the girl next door <LegenD> yea if you live next to a methadone clinic
<Ranbert> someone shoot me please.... <tele> o \O_ Arrgh!! <tele> <\==- - - - - - - --- __/ <tele> / \ \
<Ghrens> Halo had a story? I thought it was about 13 year old boys with prepubescent voices calling me a homosexual.
<+billy_s> im taking a break from programming and trying to escape the world of geekness and then winamp brings up "Norah Jones - Pointer Song" GODAMN IT LEAVE ME ALONE
<Metl>Anyone else notice that the dude who claims he killed that Ramsey girl looks extremely similar to the g-man? <Metl>I suddenly no longer have the urge to play HL anymore...
<Raikou`> what if you had a keyboard with a key for every character <Dratini927> it'd be like, 15'x15' <Dratini927> It's like "Brb I gotta go press a"
<Loki> would dismantling a self-aware computer be considered murder? <Rane> Why don't you ask it?
<dst> mirc is a piece of shit <dst> I wouldn't let any of my kids use it <dodgo> i would let my kids suck my dick, doesnt mean i'd stop everyone from it <dodgo> i wouldn't <doogsey> er <dodgo> oh fuck
<MGS05> vegans are the most enviromentally unsound people <MGS05> they totally take advantage of "survival of the fittest" <MGS05> the plants can't move <MGS05> they can
<rushfan> im getting out of shape <rushfan> I only did 25 pushups and the room is already spinning' <qupada> drink some booze <qupada> maybe it will make the room spin the other way and they will cancel out
<Splinton> So I'm on my honeymoon with my wife right...and after we're done fucking, I get up to go to the bathroom, and without thinking I left a $50 on the bed. <Aron> Oh shit.. <Splinton> Yeah... <Aron> She'll get over it right though? She can't possibly expect you've never been with a woman up til now? <Splinton> Yeah that's not what I'm worried about...she gave me $20 change!
Niv)Mutal: There is a crack in my window blinds, and every time I turn around, I see an eye staring through the glass at me. I can't deal with this any longer, its making me lose games. Any opinions / comments / suggestions? Hot_Bid: take the ring off
<Farcaller> to get spare parts disassemble/assemble some device <Farcaller> repeat until you get enough spare parts
Ron34: Why havent you been in school? Joe: because its summer vacation? Ron34: its sept 13 Ron34: school started the 5th Joe: WTF Joe: ITS SEPTEMBER?
Sholiz: i'm lucky to get laid once a quarter Sholiz: it's like big corporations profit reports Sholiz: comes 4 times a year and usually it's a let-down
<DarbySniper> My mother got a digital camera today. She wanted to know how many pictures it could take before she replaced the film in the memory card.
SignorMartinelli: how is the weather? vacapalida: Dunno. I'm in a room with no windows. vacapalida: My widget says it's 84 and sunny. vacapalida: ...trust the widget...
<lark> shit dude im in deep shit with my gf <Solid_Snake> What'd you do this time? <lark> well her doctor was rude to her and I found it hilarious <Solid_Snake> Brilliant. <lark> hes like this young new doctor and she went in for some shit I dont remember and hes like "well I got a prescription for you. you could just take my..capsule" motioning to his dick <lark> she rolled her eyes and then he said "its a suppository"
<JohnFlux> There are two kinds of people: 1) those who start arrays with one and 1) those who start them with zero.
<@Canis> i wanted to move my nintendo once but didnt want to lose my game <@Canis> so i wired on a second power cord <@Canis> and then walked it from outlet to outlet <@Canis> im really lucky i didnt hit two circuits out of phase <@Canis> that would have SUCKED
<wicked> They are playing multiplayer in GTA SA ***FatCat has joined the room (#hih) <wicked> my brother is a stripper and his tits are hanging out <FatCat> older or younger?
<darkdread> Three Middle Eastern Men Found With 1000 Cell Phones... <videogameaholic> you just used middle eastern and cell in the same sentence. answer the door, it's the fbi.
<jumpcho15> I foind out how to write a code <KevinJB> you must be like a prmgerz or somfing
<roddyboy> man it sucks... <roddyboy> phone got stolen tonight :( <drjazz> call someone who cares <drjazz> oh wait
<bTm> I swear to God, if you ever say that to me again, I will remove each and every one of your limbs, including your tiny penis, with a rusty spoon, shove your bleeding stumps into buckets of rock salt, then force you to eat your way out of a hole filled with your own feces and body parts. <Xeonspire> Er. All I said was, "Hi".
< Cillian> WTF is ubuntu christian edition!?!?? < Cillian> It's not like normal ubuntu is spawn of the devil <@BlackRatchet> thou shalt not kill -9?
<Ulm> Sigh. I've lost my cow. <Ulm> I think she's learned to open her gate and she's gone. <Ulm> Been looking for about 5 hours now. <dal-X> Need more cowbell.
<siddy> stupid internet <mutley> whats up with it? works fine for me :| <siddy> its slow as hell <siddy> im going to call them up and ask for it to be restarted <mutley> the internet? <siddy> yeh...
Ben174: fuckin paypal.. they need new databases or something.. seems like every other day i get an email and have to go update my account information.
<tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight <tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink" <tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink" <tydel> kind of a conversation ender
Metl_AtWork: "Whatever comes out of the resolution must address the root cause," Bush said Metl_AtWork: I love bush quotes. Metl_AtWork: he makes me feel smart when I read them. Metl_AtWork: hes like the John Madden of politics =D
<Kojo> Nobody wants to star in my Star Wars porn video :( <Kojo> The truth behind the scenes: <Kojo> "Han Shot First"
<iMP> my friend just told me a horrible story <iMP> so, he came to a shop on his bike and left it at the entrance <iMP> he was inside the shop only for about 5 minutes <iMP> when he came out, the bike was still there, but obviously something was wrong <iMP> taking a close look, he noticed the absense of pedals. <iMP> the country where people steal things they don't need at all just out of boredom has no future :(
<jesusghet> ok IE sucks <jesusghet> it doesnt support google calendar <shaan> it does support spyware though
<VsX> i had a great idea for a t-shirt, but part of it is trademarked <VsX> the front will say "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil...." <VsX> and the back will say "but touch and taste it ALL YOU WANT"