hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#2605 [ + | - ] 3779
* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.
#2604 [ + | - ] 386
<zip`> bah no use arguing with people who think .fi is fiji
#2602 [ + | - ] 24
<shagie> srt.. he would sit at his table, scratching his scalp
and make a HUGE PILE of dandruff and PLAY with it all SRT
#2601 [ + | - ] 488
<async> Violus: the ICQ protocol is about as good as your
performance in bed
<Violus> woah, sweet
* Violus installs ICQ
#2596 [ + | - ] 366
<jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality
change couldn t fix.
#2595 [ + | - ] 27
<matts_> Okay! So  I go to cnn.com and I see about this B1
bomber down! Oh no! :( And then i click on it, and it's a page
about the osama bin laden video tape!
<nitr8`> the video is online? or just a description?
<matts_> description
<matts_> no, it's online, the warez group already have it in
divx format
<nitr8`> heh..gimme the ftp info
<Nathan--> how the fuck did they do that?
<matts_> Osama_Bin_Laden_VideoTape-12/12/01-FoT
<Plot> what?
<Nathan--> man. this makes no sense, how are they supposed to
get the video so soon?
<matts_> I was kidding
#2590 [ + | - ] 638
<Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory
#2589 [ + | - ] 376
[Zammo] missee, humans are the only species that do it front
on
[Zammo] so over a long time, females evolved boobs
[Zammo] because it matched the attractive effect of a good
looking arse
#2587 [ + | - ] 129
*** Joins: mxman (68gmc910@hsdb-sktn-248-25.sasknet.sk.ca)
<mxman> wtf
<mxman> WHO SHUT OFF MY COMPUTER :(
#2586 [ + | - ] 114
<wild-> u want to know a good jacking method?
<wild-> get a baggie
<wild-> dump some lube in it
<wild-> then stick yer dick in it
<wild-> and throw everything between the boxspring and matress
<wild-> then go to town
<BlackDeth> you're a masturbating champion
<wild-> BlackDeth: i wish i could claim i invented it :( but i
stole it from www.jackinworld.com
#2585 [ + | - ] 533
<Lepper_> didn't reppy say he fucked a banana peel once
<wild-> Lepper_: that was me
<wild-> u heat it in the microwave
<SYch0> wtf
#2583 [ + | - ] 344
<kritical> where can I buy a freon tank?
<novocain> you can't
<novocain> you can't even buy a can of spray paint
<novocain> because you're 16
<tenfour> haha
#2580 [ + | - ] 106
<salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you
know :)
<M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that
much ;)
<salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no
pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
<M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
<salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still
charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL
#2579 [ + | - ] 970
<peng> NOT JUST A PEN
<peng> A LIGHT UP PEN
<peng> IT GLOWED
<peng> IT WAS AWESOME
<peng> IT GAVE ME JOY
<Amanda> SHE WANTED IT AS A TOKEN BY WHICH TO REMEMBER YOU
<peng> I think she used it as a dildo.
#2576 [ + | - ] 385
<dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.
#2575 [ + | - ] 390
<Jv8> programming has destroyed my ability to speak English
#2574 [ + | - ] 516
<blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just
died
#2571 [ + | - ] 245
Lord x Bee: then where do you get them?
geoffduman: usenet
Lord x Bee: irc.usenet.net?
#2570 [ + | - ] 811
<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put
in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#2567 [ + | - ] 307
* terra melts JDigital
* JDigital melts
* JDigital respawns, and is quickly telefragged by a newbie
#2566 [ + | - ] 246
<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE
#2564 [ + | - ] 509
<Drestar> Are the fam guy dvd rips in svcd only?
<OldSkoolS> Drestar: of course
<OldSkoolS> pointless to release dvd rips in vcd
<OldSkoolS> and don't get started on divx
<OldSkoolS> friends don't let friends do divx
<OldSkoolS> divx is a gateway format
<OldSkoolS> you'll download divx, won't think it's so bad,
next thing you know, you'll be downloading asf
<OldSkoolS> then real media
#2563 [ + | - ] 854
<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive
loop of stupidity.
#2562 [ + | - ] 592
<EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq
#2559 [ + | - ] 989
<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize
#2558 [ + | - ] 1505
<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl
in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is
#2557 [ + | - ] 447
<cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking
lot
<cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this
girl
<cugar`class> and all the sudden
<cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her
"dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"
#2556 [ + | - ] 467
<spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and
glasses, then it lets u on
#2555 [ + | - ] 722
<@SYch0> fuck
<@SYch0> this is gonna be harder than i thought
<@BlackDeth> are you looking for your penis again
#2553 [ + | - ] 633
<PrEs_WhO> in 50 years there will be only 2 english word
<PrEs_WhO> fuck and Dude
#2552 [ + | - ] 429
<circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut
off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"
#2551 [ + | - ] 351
<Amanda> And do these people in the STD medication commercials
really have the advertised diseases, and if not, how much
extra do they get paid to say that they do?
#2550 [ + | - ] 1093
<limited7> i have for(n = 1; n < 99; n = n /2) why is it
loopin forever?
#2549 [ + | - ] 558
<eras3r> who the hell is digdug?
<element_a> he used to be an old video game
<element_a> then he mutated into an IRC user after someone
stole his shovel
<element_a> tragic
#2546 [ + | - ] 395
<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6
months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on
your balls immi
#2545 [ + | - ] 177
<IceWizard> it doesnt take a girl to suck a dick
#2544 [ + | - ] 719
<bunni> your dick is small!!!
<bunni> i can't even see it!!!
<monkey> because i am girl!!!!
#2542 [ + | - ] 291
<PolestaR> what the hell is a segway
<Marudek> we already have electric wheel chairs
<PolestaR> how fast is it?
<DooD> about 15 mph
<PolestaR> pfft
<PolestaR> i can have sex quicker then that
#2539 [ + | - ] 380
(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#2538 [ + | - ] 3224
<Bizzy> say Æ Ø Y
<DAL9000> Æ Ø Y
<DAL9000> easy to say
<DAL9000> f00
<DAL9000> ¸ß
<DAL9000> say that.
<Bizzy> ¸ß
<DAL9000> õ þ
<DAL9000> now that
<Bizzy> õ þ
<DAL9000> now say this:
<DAL9000> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е/\/\ߪ§§
<Bizzy> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е/\/\ߪ§§
<DAL9000> bahahaha
<Bizzy> what?
<Bizzy> damnit
#2535 [ + | - ] 295
<gloone> seriously, i can watch porn for like 500 hours
straight and still not get bored..
<gloone> without jax0ring or anything..
<gloone> there's something wrong with me :|
#2525 [ + | - ] 187
<FifthFactor> he said he's sell it if you want
<Wolf4dk> For a buck?
<Wolf4dk> That's all I got
<FifthFactor> hah. no.... a little more
<Wolf4dk> what does he want for it?
<OneVerySickpuppy> 2 bucks!
<FifthFactor> without the engine i think he wants $2500
canadian
<OneVerySickpuppy> ack.. thats like 10$ american, too much
#2523 [ + | - ] 957
<berzerk0r> i wrote a rap about my ex girlfriend ready:
<berzerk0r> You're a cunt.
<merkaba> thats pretty good berz
<berzerk0r> i like it
<MadHatter> it doesn't even rhyme
#2522 [ + | - ] 665
<orion> I JUST HAD A RANDOM ETHNIC DRESSING MOMENT
<orion> I PUT A TURBAN ON, SOME JEWELS, AND DANCED TO HATTEN
AR DIN
<orion> back to starcraft editing
#2517 [ + | - ] 302
<hye> sex caffeine and computing power
<tia> hehe
<hye> the trinity
#2516 [ + | - ] 393
<rewben> we are not perverts ;p
<akiron> speak for youself ;)
#2515 [ + | - ] 1359
<ckx> hrm does anybody else ever think "yep... the internet...
vast information and opportunities at my disposal..."
<ckx> and then just sit at the search engine
<ckx> :/
#2514 [ + | - ] 194
<steve|zzz> i had this dream
<steve|zzz> i was beating off
<steve|zzz> and my penis was circumsised
<steve|zzz> and it was so big i could use 2 hands
<steve|zzz> best dream i ever had
#2512 [ + | - ] 1195
<`michael> pink floyd - wish you were here is the best goddamn
song
<w3nisT> i disagree while it is a very good song I think the
donkey kong theme song is better
#2508 [ + | - ] 179
<regulatin> I would'nt touch a girl who would do an uncut guy
<regulatin> thats disgusting
<regulatin> did u see the pic of the dildo in my ass