<walt> So I play Tony Hawk Pro Skater all the time right <walt> And I'm thinking <walt> That's so awesome, I should learn how to skate! <walt> So one of my sister's friends left her skateboard here, and I started to dick around on it <walt> Long story short, I fell over and broke my wrist <walt> Now I can't play Tony Hawk. <norl> lol dumbass
tohayer: My windows machine crashes scarily tohayer: Whatever audio is playing, slows down tohayer: Like when Dave is disconnecting Hal's memory tohayer: "Ted... Ted... why are you opening the task manager. You're scaring me, Ted"
TheItch: Dude, funniest thing ever! TheItch: I walk into the bathroom at work, walk up to a urinal, and get ready to... you know. TheItch: From one of the stalls, I hear a low rumble, which escalates to a groan, and then to a roar. TheItch: What follows can only be described as the most vile and putrid sounds of human excretion in history. This man apparently pooped out his intestines. TheItch: Moments later, I hear from the same stall, "Oh god! Someone CALL AN AMBULANCE!" TheItch: Now, this is an executive restroom at a private bank, and the door has a number lock on it, so it's not some kid trying to be funny. And the man sounded genuinely distressed. TreesSneezing: lmao! What did you do? TheItch: Suppressed my laughter as best as I could, zipped up and got the hell out of there.
<comwalk> Remember, here in the U.S.A, we have reached a new age. <comwalk> NOBODY is responsible for their own actions. <comwalk> Remember that. <comwalk> Holy shit! I killed somebody! Bob made me do it! <comwalk> Bob: Joe made me do it! <comwalk> Joe: I blame the media! <comwalk> Media: Videogames. <comwalk> Videogames: Personal responsibility? <comwalk> Personal Responsibility: <AFK>
<SwampFox> my way of determining the validity of a holiday is where I am at 9:00 AM <SwampFox> if I'm in bed, it's good <SwampFox> if I'm in Physics, it's a Hallmark holiday
<e-shark> so i was in physics today, and my mechanical pencial snapped <e-shark> my teacher noticed it, and then went on this tangent about how he went through school with one mechanical pencil <e-shark> and a giant white eraser that was german made, since it was really good at getting rid of mistakes <e-shark> then my friend states, "yea, those germans are really good at getting rid of big, annoying mistakes."
<NG-Buddhist> I found something humorously racist on Friday <NG-Buddhist> I was reading a magazine from my English room after my exam, about the most influential people of the last 50 years <NG-Buddhist> and various pictures were cut out, but i didnt think about it <NG-Buddhist> then i got to the back of the book, and someone glued in Rosa Park's picture of her sitting there <Marcus-> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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<implode> if you want to blow the dealer, thats your option
<{Excabus}> If I was a girl, I'd totally give head for magic
cards.
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<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n <Thunder> wait <Thunder> why u guys always say pr0n instead of porn ?? Thunder has been kicked by Guardian (No porn on this channel !) <Cobra> ... <Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
<@generated> i wish i was dead <@mehh_> generated: why? :( <@mehh_> actually i really need to go...tell me some other time :) <@mehh_> bbl
<mcsuede> so i was half way through drinking a dr pepper <mcsuede> and my wife sexed me so i fell asleep <mcsuede> and when i woke up she had drank my dr pepper <mcsuede> it was the last one <mcsuede> i fear it was a plot
Frencheneesz: what if there was a super hero who had the power to transfer his own boredom to his enemies? SombrousKnight: how'd he get these powers? gamma radiation while waiting in line at the DMV?
ShamanMumboJumbo: Dude, I hate AIM Triton but I had to get it because all my friends have it and I can't share files otherwise ViewtifulDom: Peer2Peer Pressure?
<@michael`_> and i found out that some sophomore at my school ran a stop sign and some dude going the speed limit slammed into her car <@michael`_> killing her two friends <@michael`_> she was drunk as hell, apparently <@michael`_> and she just got acquitted of vehicular manslaughter today <@michael`_> shes on facebook too <@michael`_> Sarah Pennell wrote <@michael`_> at 10:49pm March 2nd, 2006 <@michael`_> You.....Me....Large amounts of alcohol = this weekend!!
<dd> who wants to fight me? <i8b4uUnderground> not me <i8b4uUnderground> or not i, should i say <i8b4uUnderground> or i should say, i should say
<PsychoStreak> Now you can get that 8 ball glass eye you've been wanting. <ircDaemon> then I can shake my head and people can read my condescending answer without me even saying anything!
QB: My brother went to see the Globetrotters last night... QB: <spoilers>Globetrotters won!</spoilers> Come: ARG Come: I HAD THAT ON TAPE
Dan: It may be Saturday morning, but IRC is the protocol that never sleeps! azc: As far as I know, the only protocol that sleeps is ACPI :D
<Gorsha> im starting to get pissed with photobucket <Gorshal> i drew a simple picture and posted it in photobucket and it still shrank the picture to be tiny <Gorshal> i cant figure out wtf the problem is <PG> try uploading a pic of your penis <PG> it's the one thing small enough photobucket won't shrink
<Handy> There are 2 kinds of people in the world. <Handy> 1. Those who need closure. <Marko> And? <DavyP> AND?
LutherBifteck: I bet if I wished I was a shapeshifter LutherBifteck: The genie would give me the power to change triangles into squares LutherBifteck: And I would be annoyed.
<JRJohn> At my high school we had a high school cop who would walk around proudly displaying his 9mm glock. <JRJohn> also, he had about 10 boxes of ammo in his desk. <ZoFreX> that's a little unsafe <ZoFreX> ammo should be locked up <JRJohn> WHY would you need more ammunition than there are kids in the school? <ZoFreX> doubletap?
<chuck> I just got two CDs from AOL. Two CDs in one package. One is gold, for dial-up. The other is Silver, for Cable/DSL broadband. They came in a box that was half gold and half silver. The back of the box enumerates the difference between the two available plans. <chuck> The CDs have different features listed on their labels. <chuck> I diff'd them. They're identical. <chuck> bit for bit: <chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom <chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom <chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom <chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom
<shok-> ha! just yesterday I was wondering why more solar power applications aren't being built <shok-> but they are in Shanghai. <shok-> oh communists, what won't you do? <Ben^> last for more than a century?
<Sonic> snow tomorrow. yay. <Turtle> No snow in the hill country of Texas....where are you expecting your snow, sonic? <moc> no snow in houston either <Sonic> pennsylvania <Sonic> only about 4 more inches <2slim> we have 4 feet here in Idaho <fiver> is that due to inbreeding slim?
* McPierce once wrote a webserver in VB that was more powerful than apache. < bkjones> I once coded an operating more powerful than windows using PHP while standing on my head and driving a car. < ScottCh> I once mistyped a command in emacs, and made a more powerful webserver than IIS
<Dave123> So I there s this virgin girl I know, she is Inconceivable <Turtleman> no she's unbearable <NINJAmes> no you idiots, she's Impregnable
Jeffrey: Heh, what an ass. My friend Vann just beat me at Chess, and he checkmated me by putting my king in check with a pawn...Then saying PAWNED!!1!
Scott: i need a title for an essay about how i go over and above what is asked of me Scott: because its a reflection on myself Austin: "Second to None: The Story of How I Spit on God"
<+CrackB[a]be> jag sa inget om  f stock <+CrackB[a]be> n rmsta stock jag kommer h r r dildo haha <+PurpleHelmetWarrior> i understood dildo, and thats all that i need to know
<Silellak> The Oscars are fucking lame. Hollywood giving itself a self-congratulatory blowjob over how artsy and deep and relevant it is <Silellak> When I saw "The Day After Tomorrow" in their montage of movies that addressed serious issues I wanted to throw something at the screen. <Silellak> Because Day After Tomorrow was as much about global warming as Independence Day was about gay rights
<Jaques> What if there was a Resident Evil game in France? <sands> it'd be boring as shit <sands> all the zombies would run away
{RainmakeR}: fuck I'm a retard
{RainmakeR}: I was trying to use windows magnifier to enlarge
the dead pixel area to look at it better
{RainmakeR}: i had it open for like 5 seconds, then like "wait
a minute... "
<Bao> A friend from college is now getting her PhD in biomedical engineering, and she has a pet rat she has to experiment on, and she had to castrate it for her next procedure. <Bao> Apparently the thing wasn't fully under anaesthesia, and when she was shaving it, it ejaculated on her. <Bao> And the most horrible thing is that she shrugs it off and is like, "Who'd have thought the first handjob I'd ever give would be to a rat?!"
<[Midgard]Reynard[50DRG]> a friend of mine once commented that huamns are the only species to go out of our way to obtain milk after we've been weaned, I replied that we were the only species with cookies
<johnnyt> holy crap. have to do a 1500 word history essay <heffalump75> hey u know the saying.... <heffalump75> just draw 1.5 pictures
st0rmf1re: http://www.wimp.com/jeopardyho/ ruotfk: is this SFW? st0rmf1re: no, wmv
(Cdian)If anyone wants to see it, I have the entire series of "goatse" pictures, not just the most famous one. You'd be horriffied to see exactly what that man can fit up his arse. (em-p)Yeah cause when I saw goatse.cx my first thought was "where can I find MORE?" and then, when I found more? "I'm going to hold onto these!" I just don't KNOW you anymore dude.
-!- blehhhhh [n=muhammad@213-193-176-96.adsl.easynet.be] has joined #perl <blehhhhh> hello guys, how am i able to create an array of socks ? <mmlj4> open a drawer?
< ispiked> I really hate how these ads have girls in them with their locations based on your ip address. < ispiked> the same girls live in raleigh and in winston-salem, apparently. < shaldannon> lol < shaldannon> they ...uh.... get around
<feikkikuotti> heard about the accident? <`Riku> no, what, who, where? <feikkikuotti> my bro got hit by a bus, got both of his legs amputated :( <`Riku> so you got half brother then?
<Nickster> Time for me to make some breakfast! :) <Nickster> Is anyone from England? I have a question. <Speck> Im from England and if your asking about english muffins Ill kick you. <Nickster> nvm then.
<pixadel> Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like.
<+PeterFA> I'm naked. <+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication <+zinx> ruled
pi4arctan1guy: I cam home from grocery shopping and there wasn't enough room for all my food and I thought "This isn't fair! Most people never have to deal with the frustration of not being able to fit all their food in their refrigerators!" Then, I put my hands on my big white belly and laughed a very deep laugh, while my top hat bobbed up and down and my cane leaned against my stack of property deeds and hundred dollar bills.
< Wombles> i rang up a taxi friday... drunk.. and in in a pirate accent.. i said "Yarr ahoy me maitie! i need me a row boat to take me back to me ship which is docked at <insert address>" < Wombles> i can believe one came.
<Freman> I just asked my boss why he's doing all the new gigabit runs in cat5 (not even cat5e) instead of cat6e... the fool replies and says "cat6e has bugs in it"....
<swl> I got a tshirt for my birthday that says "This ain't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a sex machine" <swl> i wonder if it was a nice gesture or not :P