<Handy> There are 2 kinds of people in the world. <Handy> 1. Those who need closure. <Marko> And? <DavyP> AND?
LutherBifteck: I bet if I wished I was a shapeshifter LutherBifteck: The genie would give me the power to change triangles into squares LutherBifteck: And I would be annoyed.
<JRJohn> At my high school we had a high school cop who would walk around proudly displaying his 9mm glock. <JRJohn> also, he had about 10 boxes of ammo in his desk. <ZoFreX> that's a little unsafe <ZoFreX> ammo should be locked up <JRJohn> WHY would you need more ammunition than there are kids in the school? <ZoFreX> doubletap?
<chuck> I just got two CDs from AOL. Two CDs in one package. One is gold, for dial-up. The other is Silver, for Cable/DSL broadband. They came in a box that was half gold and half silver. The back of the box enumerates the difference between the two available plans. <chuck> The CDs have different features listed on their labels. <chuck> I diff'd them. They're identical. <chuck> bit for bit: <chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom <chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom <chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom <chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom
<shok-> ha! just yesterday I was wondering why more solar power applications aren't being built <shok-> but they are in Shanghai. <shok-> oh communists, what won't you do? <Ben^> last for more than a century?
<Sonic> snow tomorrow. yay. <Turtle> No snow in the hill country of Texas....where are you expecting your snow, sonic? <moc> no snow in houston either <Sonic> pennsylvania <Sonic> only about 4 more inches <2slim> we have 4 feet here in Idaho <fiver> is that due to inbreeding slim?
* McPierce once wrote a webserver in VB that was more powerful than apache. < bkjones> I once coded an operating more powerful than windows using PHP while standing on my head and driving a car. < ScottCh> I once mistyped a command in emacs, and made a more powerful webserver than IIS
<Dave123> So I there s this virgin girl I know, she is Inconceivable <Turtleman> no she's unbearable <NINJAmes> no you idiots, she's Impregnable
Jeffrey: Heh, what an ass. My friend Vann just beat me at Chess, and he checkmated me by putting my king in check with a pawn...Then saying PAWNED!!1!
Scott: i need a title for an essay about how i go over and above what is asked of me Scott: because its a reflection on myself Austin: "Second to None: The Story of How I Spit on God"
<+CrackB[a]be> jag sa inget om  f stock <+CrackB[a]be> n rmsta stock jag kommer h r r dildo haha <+PurpleHelmetWarrior> i understood dildo, and thats all that i need to know
<Silellak> The Oscars are fucking lame. Hollywood giving itself a self-congratulatory blowjob over how artsy and deep and relevant it is <Silellak> When I saw "The Day After Tomorrow" in their montage of movies that addressed serious issues I wanted to throw something at the screen. <Silellak> Because Day After Tomorrow was as much about global warming as Independence Day was about gay rights
<Jaques> What if there was a Resident Evil game in France? <sands> it'd be boring as shit <sands> all the zombies would run away
{RainmakeR}: fuck I'm a retard
{RainmakeR}: I was trying to use windows magnifier to enlarge
the dead pixel area to look at it better
{RainmakeR}: i had it open for like 5 seconds, then like "wait
a minute... "
<Bao> A friend from college is now getting her PhD in biomedical engineering, and she has a pet rat she has to experiment on, and she had to castrate it for her next procedure. <Bao> Apparently the thing wasn't fully under anaesthesia, and when she was shaving it, it ejaculated on her. <Bao> And the most horrible thing is that she shrugs it off and is like, "Who'd have thought the first handjob I'd ever give would be to a rat?!"
<[Midgard]Reynard[50DRG]> a friend of mine once commented that huamns are the only species to go out of our way to obtain milk after we've been weaned, I replied that we were the only species with cookies
<johnnyt> holy crap. have to do a 1500 word history essay <heffalump75> hey u know the saying.... <heffalump75> just draw 1.5 pictures
st0rmf1re: http://www.wimp.com/jeopardyho/ ruotfk: is this SFW? st0rmf1re: no, wmv
(Cdian)If anyone wants to see it, I have the entire series of "goatse" pictures, not just the most famous one. You'd be horriffied to see exactly what that man can fit up his arse. (em-p)Yeah cause when I saw goatse.cx my first thought was "where can I find MORE?" and then, when I found more? "I'm going to hold onto these!" I just don't KNOW you anymore dude.
-!- blehhhhh [n=muhammad@213-193-176-96.adsl.easynet.be] has joined #perl <blehhhhh> hello guys, how am i able to create an array of socks ? <mmlj4> open a drawer?
< ispiked> I really hate how these ads have girls in them with their locations based on your ip address. < ispiked> the same girls live in raleigh and in winston-salem, apparently. < shaldannon> lol < shaldannon> they ...uh.... get around
<feikkikuotti> heard about the accident? <`Riku> no, what, who, where? <feikkikuotti> my bro got hit by a bus, got both of his legs amputated :( <`Riku> so you got half brother then?
<Nickster> Time for me to make some breakfast! :) <Nickster> Is anyone from England? I have a question. <Speck> Im from England and if your asking about english muffins Ill kick you. <Nickster> nvm then.
<pixadel> Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like.
<+PeterFA> I'm naked. <+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication <+zinx> ruled
pi4arctan1guy: I cam home from grocery shopping and there wasn't enough room for all my food and I thought "This isn't fair! Most people never have to deal with the frustration of not being able to fit all their food in their refrigerators!" Then, I put my hands on my big white belly and laughed a very deep laugh, while my top hat bobbed up and down and my cane leaned against my stack of property deeds and hundred dollar bills.
< Wombles> i rang up a taxi friday... drunk.. and in in a pirate accent.. i said "Yarr ahoy me maitie! i need me a row boat to take me back to me ship which is docked at <insert address>" < Wombles> i can believe one came.
<Freman> I just asked my boss why he's doing all the new gigabit runs in cat5 (not even cat5e) instead of cat6e... the fool replies and says "cat6e has bugs in it"....
<swl> I got a tshirt for my birthday that says "This ain't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a sex machine" <swl> i wonder if it was a nice gesture or not :P
<Omini> Worst... day... ever... <Omini> I was on the crapper, and my right big toe hurt a little - so while I took a crap I decided to investigate... <Omini> As soon as I took my sock off, I swear - the smell from my feet and the smell from my crap collided - if it was a movie, it would have cut scene to a nuclear explosion.
MrLauritson: I have concluded that M$ are a bunch of dirty bastards. Kestral: Why's that? MrLauritson: Basically I was talking to one of my female friends on MSN this morning. MrLauritson: And she said "Well, it's Sunday so I'm going to go have a bath before starting one of those wonderful essays which I love writing so much xD" MrLauritson: Literally JUST as she says that, I get a message at the top of the screen telling me that we both have webcams and can have a video conversation o.O
<Vitor> When exactly did we stop talking about my penis? <Gummi_Bear> We've moved on to bigger and better things.
<tyrannosaurus> less is more <tyrannosaurus> actually no <tyrannosaurus> they're different binaries <tyrannosaurus> my bad
RIPpolaris89: omg, brokeback mountain is soooo gay Brownie8290: NO SHIT SHERLOCK
<Rebka> y'know what i dont get? Lesbians who date girls who look like thye may as well be guys... I mean... WTF.. it's like deciding you like skydiving, then buyng a submarine.
<predation> so I'm at work and this kid rings the bell on the counter RIGHT behind me <predation> the kid goes "SORRY" when I turn around <predation> kid's mom goes "sorry isn't an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose" <predation> i'm putting it on a t-shirt
<Bonz> I saw a debate in the US Congress where the Coast Guard and others were saying it's impossible to smuggle nukes into the US. One of the Congressman asked, "What if they're smart enough to pack it in a bale of marijuana? We know you can't stop THAT."
<b0b> fucking hell dude <b0b> i hate when the salsa in the jar gets low <b0b> and I try to get it out with a chip and it gets all of my fingers <b0b> and i just end up crying myself to sleep with my fingers covered in salsa
hehehe8383: school was pretty fun for me cus of the teachers = P hehehe8383: like i remember this one time in like 5th grade or something hehehe8383: i got a bloody nose in my math class and i had on a white shirt to boot hehehe8383: so i went to the nurse for like 10 min. while i was sittin in the nurses office, the period was over so my class left and another class came in hehehe8383: but i still had my books there so i had to go back in hehehe8383: so i walk into the classroom with blood stains on my shirt and holding a blood spotted tissue up to my nose hehehe8383: so the teacher pointed at me and she goes "see what i do to kids who dont do their homework?" hehehe8383: i swear to you, this kid next to me had a MORTIFIED look on his face as he started scribbling stuff down on some incomplete worksheet =P
<PeriSoft> did I tell you about the time we were playing chess? <PeriSoft> we're playing, and as usual she's pwning me <PeriSoft> she takes like six of my pieces in a row <PeriSoft> and then yells, in the deepest voice she has, "KILLING SPREE!@!!!"
<@jjsff8> I wanna find a girl who loves me for my money, but doesnt understand math.
<teddy> bryno, thats the dumbest thing ive ever read <teddy> and ive read the patriot act...
<minadein> so my materials lecturer at uni is like <minadein> "this year we will be focusing on failure" <minadein> "for those who are repeating the subject, this will be new to you"
Vipar87: so my old ass english teacher starts going on about passing a failing kids when she starts up a story about this school bus driver who needed to pass this class to keep his job. Well, he ended up with a D+, failing, but right at the edge of a C, so she nudged him up enough to pass him. A few weeks later, he was in a wreck while driving the school bus. He died, but none of the kids did and she goes "I'm so glad I passed him so he could save those kids..." and I'm like... "Bitch, if you woulda failed him, he'd be alive, and the new, SMARTER bus driver wouldn't have wrecked the bus anyway!" mario13256: idiot
Marumekomu> This silence is far from golden <Marumekomu> that reminds me, I need a shower
<Dissident> I just wrote an entire paper of complete BS <Dissident> and not just BS, but horribly obvious BS <Dissident> like something a stoned person would have written <Dissident> a very stoned person <Dissident> who passed out on the keyboard halfway through <Chaos> "The industrial revolution was gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg"
icemann182002: YOU ARE FUCKING GAY IF YOU READ THIS. violinist394: Fuck. Jambalaya : shit, I guess I'm gay now Shibs: What? I can't make out the message.