USnip: today in english class USnip: the teacher was discussing a thesis statement about close friends USnip: and she was like USnip: "well what do you want from a close friend?" USnip: and one guy yelled out "well is it a male or a female"? USnip: and she snapped back "I'm sure it doesn't matter to YOU"
Brian Laptop: myspace is like the vegas of the internet.... a lot of people want to go but no one wants to admit what happens when they're there
<fraseyboy> you know what i just realized? <fraseyboy> I can be anyone i want on IRC!!!!! <fraseyboy> ... * fraseyboy is now known as fraseyman
[workin] I went back to get another 20" monitor.. [workin] they were sold out! [workin] I had to get a 19 [workin] I told my husband ONLY a man would say that 1" doesn't matter
<K|O|G|I> -- boss just gave me a list of things to do... <K|O|G|I> #2) service computers (clean, oil, etc)
sexy heyyyyy Adam i'm Sandra do you remember me? DJARCAS FUCK OFF BOT sexy same here DJARCAS I win.
<Sunny> Holy crap! <Sunny> No wonder I'm always being stared at by the cat across the way <Sunny> There are two of them!!! <Sunny> They must have been taking shifts...
Vann: turns out grilling the peanut butter and jelly was not my best idea. Jeffrey: OMG you didn't... Vann: no, george foreman did.
<koharski> heh, my dad "hey, can you run some CAT5 into my room?" <koharski> apparently he wants to "check his email in bed" <koharski> yesterday the router was blinking alot in my room <koharski> so I went upstairs and knocked on his door <koharski> "get any interesting emails?" <koharski> he told me to go to bed :(
< smith> right, I just opened the yellow pages at random to the "scaffolding" page < smith> and there's an advert saying "ENSURE YOUR NEXT ERECTION IS IN SAFE HANDS"
kristchan: you know you want some of mama's lovin cromicus: thats disgusting kristchan: I'd leave you walkin funnny cromicus: yeah, that funny walkin is called "running away"
<ToasterIron> guys check it out i'm going to be this awesome scientist <ToasterIron> one day i'm going to invent a base the only melts jews on contact <ToasterIron> i'll call it holocaustic <Tristain> "DO NOT CONCENTRATE"
MetalJunkie: Is it just me, or has technology gone too far when I have to ask whether or not my calculator is backwards compatible..
Edgey: I don't have a girlfriend...I just know a girl that would get really mad, if she heard me say that.
<Ommi> So i was talking to this girl <Ommi> that i have been talking to for a very long time now on msn messenger <Ommi> and today i sent her a picture <Ommi> after that she went offline <Ommi> and now she's back online and isn't answering anything i say :/
< JaredCE> no, i had an idea for an ajax web2.0 calender that would pull details from flickr and google map < shiruken> how far did you get? < JaredCE> ermm < JaredCE> i installed apache
<Everdarkgreen> WE DID THE MASH <Everdarkgreen> we did the keyboard mash <Everdarkgreen> THE KEYBOARD MASH <Everdarkgreen> it was a lihosdptjhskrjngiso; kihy,aehtptuyjgio;t
(royshen) I have a headache (MrWhite) i have a sandwich but i dont go around bragging about it
Good Book Report Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report: Titanic:..... $29.99 Clinton:..... $29.99 Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist. Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist. Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill. Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica. Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton:..... Let's not go there. Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery. Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts. Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack. Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either. Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing
cmerc: "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows". - Helen Keller cmerc: SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHES TALKING ABOUT
<NathanielsBlaze> what do you think the game would be called if mario had a gun <FalconWarrior> Metroid.
<Phatt_One> crap is disgusting <syntax> hey dont bad mouth crap <syntax> im a plumber <syntax> if it werent for crap, i wouldnt be able to feed my family
<Guest1087> shut up asshole <Pikanyah> If I'm an asshole, you're an asswipe. You're so low, you serve me. <Guest1087> shup up bitch, i'm the asshole <Guest1087> wait a sec....
<Vehementi> girlfriend-crafted brownies are the best <BauB_> girlfriend crafted blowjobs are better <Vvivix> those arnt really crafted though <Vvivix> its more of a buff <Vvivix> with a long cast time <Hyper_Monkey20> Actaully, it's more of a debuff... It leaves you tranced and unable to go into combat.
ARcanUS NUMquam: night is sitll young live billboard: virginal ARcanUS NUMquam: the barrier between today and tommorrow has barely been pressured live billboard: but soon it will be penetrated live billboard: father time will thrust his way into the young tommorrow ARcanUS NUMquam: using his tool that he nicknamed the "second hand" when it strikes 12
<hickhut> i have to write a speech on myself tomorrow <hickhut> so gay <mrquin27> there is a start
* Now talking in #Democrats <Gunman> is anybody here? <Gunman> hmm...everybody's an op, but nobodys doing anything... <Gunman> so im definately in the #democrats channel...
< plasmadis> One time my dad stole a roll of brightly-colored stickers from a butcher's counter that said "BREASTS" and went to the video store and stuck them on all the movies that looked likely to contain nudity.
Chodeskius: hey whats a good name for my kitten Shniznite: Qwerty Chodeskius: that sounds so familiar Chodeskius: where did u get qwerty.. oh.
<ensis> Well folks, I'm off to the farm <ensis> I can actually say that too, how funny <Bomp> They're lying <Bomp> You're going to be put down
<Grakrim> Woo, my doctor is on TV! <Grakrim> ...Pleading the 5th in a criminal negligence trial...
<Numi> hey, can you guys just check a site out and tell me if it's up? <Haddock> depends, what is it? <Numi> just my apache server, it works for me but seems to be down for anyone else <Haddock> alright, what's the address? <Numi> http://127.0.0.1 <Haddock> ...... <Haddock> ...Yeah, it's up.
<BoltBait> My wife saw my 7756 post count on the MOTL board and said, "you've never said that many things to me since we've been married."
<Dave> So my friend in school Andrew said he had linux <Dave> After saying he got mIRC <Dave> I told him you can't have both, mIRC is a windows Client <Dave> Then he said he had Linux on his laptop <Dave> I asked him what Distribution he had, he said wal-mart
cherrybomb1739: why are there hot chicks at church ? marredduck: why is the good liquor always on the top shelf? marredduck: the same reason
(@prex) man .jp is fucking tight (@prex) suggest you a get with it (@antlers_) anyone shit on your face while you were there? (@prex) yes, and i'm 500 yen poorer for the experience! (@antlers_) tell you this much, my first time in Tokyo I fucking loved it... still do... but a visit to some of their adultshops just negated all positive thought (@Blaxthos) never been to .jp (@Blaxthos) i hear shit is expensive the most (@prex) yeah well me not being a sexual deviant i didnt visit any adult shops (@antlers_) <--- sexual deviant (@prex) man mother fuck some edema (@prex) flight was 9hrs and change tho (@prex) fast as fuck (@kaleido) did any of your less profitable bitches kill themselves because of the dishonor they felt when you arrived?
<David_0mega> google maps has taught me many things <junkntrunk> such as? <David_0mega> that my neighbor has a pool for one thing
<ASDF> In my data communications class, the teacher asked "How would one person in a company send a package to another person in another comapany? Let's say that it was a woman." <ASDF> Then someone said "Tell that bitch to come here and get it herself!"
<Rob_> What is the word where you think everything should die? <+shortarabguy> emo? <Rob_> heh <Rob_> good one <zenmastar> goth? <Rob_> shut up
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar <cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke <cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet <cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied <emoti_conartist> lol <cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy <cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open <cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit <emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha <cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM <cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first' <cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face <cassius_clay13> and runs away <cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
<ShoveX> but i bet you make more money then me <ShoveX> :( <jd2i9> hahahaha <jd2i9> maybe <jd2i9> i dunno, im not exactly making top $ for my computer skillz <ShoveX> i've been getting my money from giving old people oral <jd2i9> ive been selling shit on ebay <jd2i9> hahahah <ShoveX> bengay makes your mouth numb btw
<asiftosay> my friend kolby decided to play a joke on his mom, so he went into her room at night when she was sleeping. he wore a ski mask and had a fake gun. <banquet> omg <asiftosay> and he starts yelling shit with the fake gun drawn, and she wakes up all scared and stuff...so she goes "don't kill me. i'll fuck you all you want if you let me live." <asiftosay> they avoided each other for days.
<zexis> hmmm you think this statistic is real? <zexis> every 2 minutes a woman is raped in Ohio <hal> why doesn't she just move? <zexis> ?
<irokie> be there any other interesting channels on this network? <maff> #bearcave <sxh> #bearcave <jestuh> #bearcave <Nades> #bearcave <Thuryn> #bearcave
Faustmaster300: OK, my sis asked how to spell danke, which is german for thx, so i tell her, iamaretard. she types it in and sends it to her friend. didnt even realize. i will never let her live it down.
<Azn> This guy came to our school, and talked to us about how drinking and driving is bad... <Azn> And he mentioned that if you are convicted, you will have a breathalizer installed in your car, so you have to breathe into a tube to start your car... <Azn> And some guy shouted "What if you fart in it?" <Azn> Everyone laughed, and the speaker looked pissed and said "Well, gas expelled from the anus contains methane, not alcohol. It would be difficult for an intoxicated person to perform such an action with their distorted hand-eye cordination"