<RobbiePaul> i really wish the redneck neighbors that moved in next door would feed their children anti-freeze <Nichole> slip it into some popcicles and serve <RobbiePaul> "anti" freeze...
<Animenia> Oh shit almost forgot to tell you guys.... The funniest thing ever happened today... :) <Animenia> There\'s this dude living beneath my apartment and some other dude across the street <Animenia> and we talk from time to time so we decided to have a litte chat on my teamspeak server <Animenia> so after talking a while <Animenia> one of the guys said he had to leave for a while so the server got really quiet... <Ayanami9870> because they saw a webcam pic of his dildo? <Animenia> Though this guy didn\'t use push to talk so after like 10 minutes of inactivity on the server I started hear moanings and shit from my speakers <Animenia> and I was playing really loud music <Animenia> Then you hear his mom come in and he\'s like \"oh shit, it\'s not what it looks like\" and she goes of screaming \"YOU\'RE MASTURBATING?!?!\" and starts crying and shit and tells him to move out and stuff like that <Dazzio> holy fuck <Animenia> You should have seen the look on his face when I met him in the elevator later today.... He gave me the dirtiest look ever.... and said \"Did you really have to play so god damn loud music?? The whole block heard of my mom and that shit\"
<Theanine> Getting high also impairs judgment, which can lead to risky decision making on issues like sex, criminal activity, or riding with someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. <Theanine> haha :D <Theanine> i get high all the time but im not getting laid...: ( <Theanine> this weed isnt working correctly
<PO_Dorn> Hey, those of you familiar with iPod's -- how do you put text files onto them? <Xearz|away> Magic marker?
<@SuzyQ> NOVACAINE FOR THE SOUL <&supreme> I LOVE POTATOES <@nf-Stealth> CARROTS ARE GOOD FOR EYESIGHT <&sinSR> ALWAYS WEAR PANTS <&supreme> DONT LET DR MARIO TOUCH YOU, HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR
Osmodius: you know what never made sense in star wars? Osmodius: R2-D2 Osmodius: I mean.. WTF is it alex: who knows lol Osmodius: it doesn't even do anything Osmodius: it just rolls around and makes weird noises Osmodius: and the light on it alternates between red and blue alex: i wonder how people understand what its saying Osmodius: maybe like pokemon Osmodius: people could understand what they said even though they could only say their name alex: they should equip r2d2 with a mini chain gun Lenny: yeah.. and it should double as a frappucino machine Osmodius: :\
<pathogen> in maths today we found out that 1+3+3+7 = 14 <pathogen> so therefore 1337 = 14 <pathogen> so anyone who speeks 1337 is 14
Ford_Prefect: I\'m at 2.0 MBPS!! Navi00: Psh Navi00: What kinda connection?\\ JK-63: With your cantenna. Ford_Prefect: DSL Ford_Prefect: no, I am using my standard antenna Navi00: wtf is a cantenna?! Ford_Prefect: because I need the connector for my cantenna JK-63: It\'s a little antenna that can. Ford_Prefect: works better JK-63: You know the story, right? JK-63: The little antenna that pushed the signal through the wall? * Zortexia sits down for the story Ford_Prefect: HE was having trouble carrying data fast enough JK-63: And then, a strange packet came along. JK-63: And encouraged him, because the packet was from A STRANGE ROUTER! *gasp* * Zortexia gasps! Ford_Prefect: I think I can Ford_Prefect: I think I ca Ford_Prefect: *n Ford_Prefect: I think I can Zortexia: LMAO! JK-63: The cantenna pushed and pushed as hard as he could, and got a signal through to the strange router! Zortexia: yay for cantenna! Ford_Prefect: and downloaded an entire copy Ford_Prefect: of microsoft XP Ford_Prefect: in one hour * Zortexia eyes get big Navi00: That is the most adorable thing I\'ve ever heard Navi00: loll Ford_Prefect: *pirated I might add Navi00: XD Ford_Prefect: :0 Zortexia: :O Zortexia: then what happened Ford_Prefect: he lived happily ever after leaching off of other people\'s wireless connectiong Navi00: heh heh heh heh JK-63: And the hacker driving the cantenna was very happy with his new copy of Windows XP. Ford_Prefect: the end
omgsean123: so anyway, heisenberg is speeding down the street and he gets pulled over by a cop omgsean123: and the cop is like "do you know how fast you were going?" omgsean123: and he says "no, but i know exactly where i am!"
<AnViL> gah... i still can't find a prom date... <AnViL> then again, it might help if i actually talked to the women <AnViL> instead of drooling and staring at them from afar
<joshkr> Who is this General Error, and why's he scanning my hard drive? <de0n> He's the boss of Major Malfunction <bismuth> Looking for Private Pictures
darshanji143: hey wanna chat sex? flyinghermione: my mommy says I can't have cybersex with strangers
<HC-Marine> yeah one time this windows & doors company called <HC-Marine> and my dad answered it <HC-Marine> they asked if he wanted to have his windows and doors replaced <HC-Marine> he responded with "I don't have any" <HC-Marine> they were so confused
<Dejos> I was killed by a rabit in D&D once <Wiser> lol <Dejos> stupid DM <recursive> did it have big sharp pointy teeth? <recursive> \/\/\/\/\/ <Dejos> no! it didnt have squat.. I tripped over it and fell off a cliff
Gangster Style*** says: np np what are friends for §teve says: casual sex and borrowing money?
<Unspawny> The ultimate game would be a game sorta like The Sims. <Unspawny> Except it would be called 'Angst'. <Unspawny> And you would see how many angsty people you can befriend, screw over, and then befriend again. <frog> you just described Livejournal: The Game
Shosh912: when tthy say you can miss 6 classes Shosh912: does that mean you can miss 6 classes Shosh912: or 5 Qtip: 6 Shosh912: oh
Tamer Brad: i got this cross necklace today NoVwith a Bullet: ha ha ha, everyone's gonna think you just love jesus Tamer Brad: no, i hate him Tamer Brad: that's why I carry it with me Tamer Brad: so if I ever see him, I can nail him to it
<SomeGuy> God: "Hello Osama?" <SomeGuy> Osama: "Yes God" <SomeGuy> God: "Osama.. did you hear about the tsunami?" <SomeGuy> Oasama: "Yes" <SomeGuy> God "Beat that you prick.."
<Seikun> My friend (mike) bought a sword and bb guns in the states. he tried to bring them over to canada. and they said "the bb guns are a replica of the real ones. so you can't bring them in." "but you can take the sword, because thats not really considered a weapon"
<TLF> smoke <TLF> im calling u out hustlah <TLF> bring it <MegaSmokeX> Why, bitch? <TLF> first person to hack the other person wins <MegaSmokeX> k <TLF> lets see your 1337 skillz bitch hahaha *** Signoff: TLF (Connection reset by peer) <Ginnsu> Goddamn O_O <Saunders> pnwed. <MegaSmokeX> I think thats the luckiest Ive ever been in my life...
<CardiacVio> Dude, are you skipping homeschool again? <Metatag> Yep, I'm in the computer lab at the high school.
<TheWizrd> i wrote my paper ... its 2 pages ..... min length = 5 pages <TheWizrd> wtf ? <nerdcore> add 3 pages of "um" and "er" <nerdcore> "And so we, um, see that, um, um, Shakespeare was trying to, er, say that, um..." <nerdcore> "And then that one guy--what's-his-name--picked up the, oh yeah! It was Laertes! He picked up the, um, that thing that you use when you want to stab somebody--a sword! Yeah. That's it." <nerdcore> easy +3 pages.
<nJess> God that stings like a motherfuck <nJess> I just picked up my airsoft *** Kederaji has joined channel #C&T <nJess> And it discharged, into my face. <nJess> At a range of about a foot and a half. <Kederaji> O_o <Kederaji> I always walk in at bad times.
Zipalooie: i'd rather walk home from boston on train tracks drunk Zipalooie: and blindfolded Zipalooie: with headphones on blasting slayer at full volume Zipalooie: than get in a car with your sister again
EvilEye:i just found out that i have competition for student government president EvilEye:hes blind EvilEye:so heres my campaign slogan: "I have a vision"
<Matt> Hey, I just realized... <HazeMan> What? <Matt> While encountered together in captivity, in the wild, the stapler and the staple remover are natural enemies. <HazeMan> O_o
<+digital-lemon> im gonna invent a tv that blocks out commercials and put dancing stick figures with smilie faces on instead <@TreeClock> LOL <+digital-lemon> ill call it STV <+digital-lemon> pronounced stevie <+digital-lemon> stick telivision <+digital-lemon> i'll be filthy rich
<acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the way to the party to get some beer <acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and there's a parking guy writing a ticket <acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no standing zone <acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up his ass, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him <Nuzzler> haha <acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he says something the guy writes another ticket <acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off <dendyh0> ... <acidwar> and we both PISS ourselves laughing as we walk back to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor bastard with 14 parking fines :D <dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <Nuzzler> ROFL!!
* Kederaji is now officially offended by the Red Cross. <FraX> How much blood did they want today? <Kederaji> Well, you know that questionnaire they ask you before they poke you with the needle? <FraX> Yeah. <Kederaji> Well, the guy took a look at me and started marking all the sex related questions as "No". <Kederaji> Didn't even bother to ask me, just marked them "No." <Kederaji> The bastard. <FraX> Was he right? <Kederaji> He was, but that's not the point!
<Ashryd> Prepare for the new revolution in freeing space on your hard drive, waste no more time on searching through old files to delete, simply leave it up to DaveBot! <Methuen> New program aye? <Ashryd> Doesn't work quite right yet though... <Ashryd> Does something a little more interesting at the moment... <Methuen> Oh? <Ashryd> It spends 12 hours searching through your folders and files finding and sorting them into things that must be deleted, could be deleted and mustn't be deleted, compiles the information into a database, deems the database an item that must be deleted then erases your whole hard drive. <Methuen> o.O
<Varrus> sloppy seconds :( <pushplay> sloppy seconds <pushplay> jinx <Varrus> you cant jinx, you got pwned <Varrus> :D * pushplay punches Varrus in the penis <SandCannon> youd have to kick his girlfriend in the purse for him to feel it.
chaseaskew9642: I'm going to get a restaurant to compete with crackerbarrell and I will call it niggerbucket.
<[omni]> wtf... it took you like 15 seconds to show us a picture of your hymen, but I have to wait hours to see a pictures of the pussy I'm actually interested in?
WormyWyrm: I don't think half as many people would pirate games and movies WormyWyrm: if they didn't give it such a cool name thelandofsiam: Yea, nobody would do it if it was called Illicit Data Transmition WormyWyrm: exactly WormyWyrm: noone would talk about it at all, too hard to spell thelandofsiam: ARRR IM A SOFTWARE PIRATE WormyWyrm: Gimmie yer booty and new versions of half life thelandofsiam: Yarrr WormyWyrm: YAR! thelandofsiam: I must restart my ship thelandofsiam: brb
<Enjoi> I broke up with my girlfriend because she didn't know what 'modest' meant, so I know how you feel. <Raven> modest? fuck modesty lol. <Enjoi> No, she actually didn't know the meaning of the word :P
<lokk> GM posts 1.9bil loss <lokk> ouch! <Booster> they should have saved money switching to geico
<dice> You're in Sydney? <Scott> ahhh yea <dice> Cool! <dice> Whatcha doing there? <Scott> grandmothers <dice> Really? You stud! How many?
<jsCLASS> lets talk about my johnson <Mercster> small talk, eh? <jsCLASS> fuck <jsCLASS> owned
(Twisted) you can get 7,200Rpm and decent graphics on Laptops (@randomPaul) yes with free crotch burn and the associated infertility (Twisted) Too true (@randomPaul) I don't see the damn point ! Twisted is glad his laptop is a) Broken b) Sucks (@randomPaul) if I need to remember something on the move, or do some work on a train.... I use a pen and paper :P (moredread) hey is that true? I know ppl that would pay good money for crotch burn (@randomPaul) no infertility there ;) (@randomPaul) "too skint for condoms? just buy a laptop - with an intel P4 prescott processor!" (@randomPaul) "the intel P4 prescott, with centrino technology - so you can talk crap on alt.comp.laptop.infertility!" (@RinSewand) hmm (Twisted) Newsgroups for teh win! (moredread) new definition for roast nuts
miLKm4n2kj: there's a police scanner in my room at work miLKm4n2kj: it's fun to listen to miLKm4n2kj: it would be more fun if i could memorize this police code IcEmanhAxx0r: lol IcEmanhAxx0r: look at this one IcEmanhAxx0r: 11-25X Female motorist needs assistance miLKm4n2kj: that seems rather specific doesn't it? miLKm4n2kj: 11-25Y = male? IcEmanhAxx0r: it doesn't have it miLKm4n2kj: of course miLKm4n2kj: male motorists don't need assistance
<duncan> i should get oli to come here. <duncan> and we should make him get alcohol poisoning. <n3wt> Or poison poisoning <duncan> YES
X Garxx X: i found a bag of little black balls in my cabinet X Garxx X: and i was like cool chocolate balls X Garxx X: so i started eating them X Garxx X: and i was lik WHOAH THESE FRICKIN RULE ASS X Garxx X: I BET THEYD BE GREAT WITH MILK X Garxx X: ...thats when i realized i was eating coco puffs.
<Zoiks> its my birthday in two weeks :D <Zoiks> I'mma throw a big party and invite all my friends <Zoiks> shit dude, I need to start making plans <+madhtr003> and friends
<7ruth> Oh my god! I'll be right back, parents are making me barbeque. <Sentral1>Im pretty sure that was a literal version of 'omgbrbbbq' <Xthirteen>yep
ChronikG: Dude, I'm going to hell. I was typing in a porn site and was about to hit enter when all of a sudden "Jesus Walks" comes on the radio. TragicEnd: did you still go to the site? ChronikG: Yea, I figured Jesus just wanted to chill and watch porn with me.
<infoe> silmaril: what about jesus on the cross <infoe> and he calls to peter <infoe> and peter tries to approach <infoe> and the roman guards prevent him with violence <infoe> they blacken his eye <infoe> and scuff him up pretty good <infoe> and jesus calls him again <infoe> <jesus> peter. <infoe> and peter cries "i'm coming lord" and throws himself at the guards <infoe> who beat him roughly and break his arm <infoe> at which point he whimpers off <infoe> again jesus calls to peter <jesus> peter... <infoe> peter yells to christ "i am coming!" and he throws himself at the guards again <infoe> putting up a vicious struggle but not laying a hand of violence on the guards <infoe> finally they concent to let him pass <infoe> and peter .. his broken arm.. badly bruised and slashed makes it before jesus and kneels and says "i am here father what is it that you want of me?" <infoe> <jesus> peter, i can see your house from here
Mike: give me a good hosting company tag line Bleys: "We won't go down on you... unless you pay us extra." Mike: thanks for your help :P Bleys: no problem ;)
* xargs should not drive a bike <xargs> because... <xargs> o _ _ _ <xargs> _o /_ _ \o (_)__/o (_) <xargs> _< _ _>(_) (_)/<_ _| _|/' / <xargs> (_)>(_) (_) (_) (_) (_)' _o_ <xargs> =(