hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#480318 [ + | - ] 366
simplisteartiste_sanguineaskew: Hey love. How did the
Valentine's treat you?
le_tedious: Like a rape victim.
#480261 [ + | - ] 1792
<Maky> Women do:
<Maky> - Piercings in the strangest places
<Maky> - Tatoos everywhere
<Maky> - Face liftings
<Maky> - Cesarian Birth
<Maky> - Liposuction
<Maky> - Chirurgial reduction of the abdomen.
<Maky> - Plucking of facial hair and eyebrows
<Maky> - Depilation with hot wax
<Maky> SO HOW CAN THEY DARE TO TELL YOU "IT HURTS" WHEN YOU
ASK FOR SOME ANAL SEX?!?!?
#479075 [ + | - ] 2182
<ph03n1x> Didnt Ray Charles die right before [Ray] came out?
That would suck if he never even got to see it.
#479067 [ + | - ] -271
Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees
look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you
Scud: And then it hit me
#478519 [ + | - ] 2354
<shane> there is a special place in hell, down the hall from
hitler, for real player
#478193 [ + | - ] 961
[masterchris] oh wow. I love the way Norton backs you up
against a wall and tells you that you have to reboot to
complete the installation of these updates..
[masterchris] ..no 'reboot later' button
[masterchris] just 'okay'
[DRUFER] pfft
[masterchris] i wonder, if I hit the x, will it close it - or
reboot it.
[Pickle_Weasel] just keep it in the background until you're
ready
[DRUFER] get your virus updates
[DRUFER] be happy
*@masterchris is going to try the x.
[Pickle_Weasel] ping timeout
[Pickle_Weasel] $5 on ping timeout
[DRUFER] lmao
[masterchris] Norton wouldn't be that prickey and make the x
button the same as 'ok' i would hope.
* masterchris [GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca] has left
IRC
* @masterchris (GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca) Quit
(Connection reset by peer)
[Kraid] ahaha
#478173 [ + | - ] 920
<RaveZeroX> stupid me put the square root of 50 as 25 instead
of 7.1......
<GuiltySpark> o.O
<GuiltySpark> Temporary retardation?
<RaveZeroX> i guess u can call it that.... >_>
<GuiltySpark> That would SO be a good card for a "Hax0r: Teh
1337 trading card game"
<GuiltySpark> Temporary Retardation: Target creature becomes
AOLer
#477879 [ + | - ] 194
<sme> i want an easier girlfriend :(
<sme> it's too hard
<sme> its on nightmare atm
<sme> need an 'i can win' girlfriend
<Kamikazee>  /god
#477843 [ + | - ] 536
<@LZ|5133p> gonna have to rebuild my fish tank tomorrow
<@LZ|5133p> getting a new filter
<@LZ|5133p> and fish
<+Toba> pkg_delete fish-tank-1.0.23b
<+Toba> cd /usr/ports/fish/fish-tank-1.2.43c
<+Toba> make all install clean -WITH_FILTER -WITH_FISH
#477771 [ + | - ] 1325
(ArmanyGirl) Impuro, describe yourself to me
([Impuro]) well, I have 2 arms, 2 legs, a torso, a head with a
nose and eyes and etc...
(ArmanyGirl) duhh, i mean phisically
#477474 [ + | - ] 1469
<Dashiva> i wonder if crips get pissy if someone picks out the
wrong shade of blue
<Dashiva> 'I know you ain't frontin' with that periwinkle'
<^Asphyx> "Cyan? Niggah please."
#477397 [ + | - ] 1605
<Vash> /ctcp Bot doit passwd <command>
<Vash> try it!
<Kao> okay
-> [Bot] DOIT passwd msg #scripting I love babies
<bot> I love babies
-> [Bot] DOIT passwd /run shutdown -r -t 3 -c "byeeeee"
<Vash> ohhh
* Vash has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
* Bot has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
#476808 [ + | - ] 801
<Khabi> Night. Don't let the bed bug bite.
<Groverton> Bed bug?
<Khabi> Yeah, there's just one, but he's FUCKING HUGE!
#476571 [ + | - ] 1619
<MacMantis> oh christ. a friend of mine just got another of
his mothers world breaking text messages.
<MacMantis> 'GDAD DIED 5AM -MUMX'
<MacMantis> I honestly do wonder what is wrong with the woman.
#476276 [ + | - ] 907
UltimateGuidoAnchovy: Livejournal recently realized that it
could save bandwidth by eliminating all mood emoticons but
"angsty".
#476045 [ + | - ] 749
anotlwonk: I have a whole bunch of web designs and no one to
give them to
crazyc0der: i smell an emo song brewing
#475930 [ + | - ] 1279
The Great Ookami: you mad with me pup?
Kyouto Hasuki: i dont think so
Kyouto Hasuki: lemme check my log
#475920 [ + | - ] 1747
<Kira> Tuesday was Groundhog Day and the State of the Union
Address.  As Air America Radio pointed out, it is an ironic
juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we
look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication
and the other involves a groundhog.
#475919 [ + | - ] 2298
<Stryyp> im never stopping for small animals crossing the road
again
<Stryyp> i hit on the brakes and almost wrecked.
<Stryyp> the little bastard sits there and stares at me for a
minute, then continues to cross the road
<Stryyp> and out of nowhere a truck comes from the other
direction and pancakes the sucker
#475913 [ + | - ] 2249
<Insomniak> ow owow
<Insomniak> ow
<Insomniak> i hit myself in the nuts playing air guitar
<Insomniak> again
<nxn> darwin is hard at work
#475199 [ + | - ] 3277
<Korras> friendship among women: one doesn't come home one
night, and tells her bf that she spent the night with a female
friend of hers. bf calls 10 of her friends, and none know a
thing.
<Korras> friendship amongst men: same thing happens. man says
he spent the night at a friends place. gf calls 10 of his
friends. 8 confirm he has been there, and the two others say
he's still there.
#475174 [ + | - ] 626
<Ashpool> I have offically reached full bachelorhood.  Use a
plate...then chuck it out.
<SirPNut> sif need plate.. eat it straight from the frypan
<@Agg> plate?  pfft, amateur.  when you eat directly off the
table, magazines, chairs, etc..
<SirPNut> then throw the frypan out
<@aftahours> cook everything in the one pot, drain the pot
then eat outta the pot :) tastes better that way
<@Agg> or with my cooking, pour the food out of the pot and
eat the pot, it's more tasty
#474894 [ + | - ] 1132
<Sefy> Dude, if the FBI ever came to my door
<Sefy> Im just gonna put in my other harddrive and boot in ME
<Sefy> Just so i look like a complete retard
#474559 [ + | - ] 1757
<Spazz`> I know that I'm supposed to respect my neighbors'
culture because they're hispanic, but I wish that wifebeating
was a little quieter.
#474527 [ + | - ] 150
Grotw8: whats strong enough for a man but built for a woman?
Grotw8: the back of my hand
#474128 [ + | - ] 2245
<NobelDek> I got all my history from Age of Empires
<JoseoftheWired> Using video games to learn history is
probably a bad idea
<JoseoftheWired>  And the American colonists decided to rebel
against the British because they were camping all the tea.
<[7hs]> Brits lost because of lag
<NobelDek> No, the Brits were noobs. They didn t know how to
play in DS_America.
<[7hs]> The Civil War happened when someone turned FF=ON
<JoseoftheWired> The Japanese hated the Koreans on their
server so they invaded
<[7hs]> Hitler used a wallhack to get into France
<[7hs]> twice!
<TheStupidOne> No...paris lagged out
#474123 [ + | - ] 944
mdvb: Matt, you not watching the State of the Union?
strestout1: ill tell u the state of the union
strestout1: we're losing jobs, the economy is going to shyt,
the whole world hates us
strestout1: god bless america
strestout1: the end
#473599 [ + | - ] 6228
Mjordan2nd: If you could be any fictional character, who would
you be?
Chris: Spider Man
Tim: batman
Sidd: batman
Mjordan2nd: I'd be god
#473330 [ + | - ] -233
< pigeon> what does "half chest" mean when it comes to t-shirt
measurement?
<@raster> they had breast cancer?
#473246 [ + | - ] 2558
<JustinArthur> I used to surf up the interweb and IRC in
Windows 3.11 on a an AMD 80386DX 40MHz edition.
<skyfire> JA: after walking three miles through waist deep
snow, up hill, when it was -40 outside just to get to your
computer :P
<JustinArthur> Shit, back then, we had to use TCP/IP over
smoke signal protocol.
<Nikolai> Why the hell was your computer on top of a hill in
waist-deep snow? O.o
<Lorentz> Why not?
<skyfire> smoke signal protocol!?!
<skyfire> in my day, we used a log and two sticks
<JustinArthur> Yup, someone would be at the fire on the hill
with a blanket and yell out the 0s and 1s to the guy whose
turn it was to be demodulator.
<skyfire> we just pounded them out on the log with our
demodulator writing it down with charcoal
<skyfire> of course, noise was always a problem
<skyfire> lousy october gales
<skyfire> we were droping smoke packets like there was no
tomorrow
<skyfire> then we came up with the idea of broadband over
forest fire
<skyfire> that didn't work very well
<skyfire> I mean, we got the blazing speed we expected
<skyfire> unfortunately, we had a tendency to burn out the
modems =/
#472869 [ + | - ] 834
* X sets mode: +b *!*@68.68.*
* s0ur was kicked by X ((collindavis) you were warned)
<@SJr|Tecra> Right now, with cbdavis's latest ban about  3/
65536th of the net is banned from this channel.
<@SJr|Tecra> doesn't banning a /16 raise ethical and moral
issues about prejudice, stereotyping, and netmaskism,
descrimination against people based on there network address?
How can we as moral human beings condone such activities?
Whats the difference between banning someone who thru no
events but fate is given 68.68. as an ip address, versus
someone who thru no events as fate is given dark skin? In the
latter we did
<@SJr|Tecra> but no longer condone such activites such as
prejudice. It would be incorrect to say that one is more
likely to commit a crime based on the skin color, but doesn't
society move so slowly that we still find it ethical and moral
to say that based on someones netmask they are going to be a
spammer.
<@cd|work> it's IRC bitch - stfu
<@cd|work> you're about to see a *.ca ban if you don't shut up
:)
<@SJr|Tecra> didn't hitler say that about Germany, cd|work?
<@SJr|Tecra> Hitler to Chaimberlain: it's germany - stfu
#472858 [ + | - ] 779
<dan> this one dude made a raytraced monopoly board, and it
looked just like a photo!
<GreenPenInc> url?
<dan> i forget =[
<GreenPenInc> ok I'll find it
<GreenPenInc> ...heh
<GreenPenInc> i'm googling for monopoly and all I get is
people bitching about microsoft :D
#472471 [ + | - ] -196
<NASDAQbastardo> Black Mesa is nothing but a Gungan minority
#471819 [ + | - ] 1033
bag0fice: man they need to add a pothead difficulty to games
swindLer: x;
bag0ice: where you cant lose and the music never stops
#471643 [ + | - ] 679
<jiffy> you ever squeezed your penis really hard and watch it
change colors?
<Illusory> I seem to be missing a penis. Can I try yours?
#471449 [ + | - ] 2151
<ppg> if guns kill people
<ppg> then pencils misspell words
<ppg> and cars make people drive drunk
<ppg> and spoons made rosie o'donnell fat
#471438 [ + | - ] 506
<Superlan> Cannabis brownies:  the breakfast, second
breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea time, dinner, dessert, and
midnight snack of champions.
#471421 [ + | - ] 19
DorianB81: jesus was a humble man
DorianB81: hed drive a ford focus
#471055 [ + | - ] 1871
<Lyme> I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart.
<Black_Bishop> I am Jack's low price guarantee
#470021 [ + | - ] 1328
<ptp`R-N-C`efegege> how many emo kids does it take to change a
lightbulb?
<The_only_Vanilla_Willy> HOW MANY?!
<ptp`R-N-C`efegege> none they just sit in the dark and cry
#469974 [ + | - ] 1534
piratebot4: oh man
piratebot4: my friend
piratebot4: this really nice black girl
piratebot4: her name is regina
piratebot4: well, in class they were writting their names
backwards
piratebot4: and she realized
piratebot4: regina
piratebot4: a niger
#469543 [ + | - ] 1130
<tanuki> FunkyMonkey: I have a friend who tried shitting out
of a tree stand while hunting
<tanuki> he dropped his coveralls, hung his ass over the side,
and let fly... but when he was done, he went to zip up the
coveralls, flipped the hood up...
<tanuki> *thwack*
<tanuki> he ended up shitting in the hood of his coveralls
without realizing it
#469107 [ + | - ] 2418
<RvLeshrac> <Terrorists> Shit, maybe we shouldn't take
hostages from countries whose people are more insane than us.
<RvLeshrac> <China> You give back hostages, or we kill all
muslim.
<NegaDuk> i think if they piss off china too much, they'll
find that china, the US, and britain will turn the middle east
into a big walmart parking lot
<RvLeshrac> <China> We use nuke. What we care you nuke us? We
have billion more people.
<NegaDuk> <China> nuke beijing. we tried sars. it no work
<RvLeshrac> <China> We stop birth restriction, we make billion
more. Three day.
<NegaDuk> i think china's just being antisocial so someone
will thin their population
<RvLeshrac> Seriously.
<RvLeshrac> China's answer to anything should be "We stop
birth restrictions"
<RvLeshrac> <US> Stop flooding our markets with cheap goods,
or we stop selling you soybeans. <China> We stop birth
restriction! <US> Fuck. OK, OK! You can have the damned
soybeans!
<RvLeshrac> I bet that was the real reason Clinton gave them
our satellite codes.
<RvLeshrac> <China> You give us code, or we flood world with
chinese!
<RvLeshrac> <China> All your shirt shrink up like penis in
arctic.
<NightStar> damn those bad chinese laundry places
<RvLeshrac> <China> You never get decent haircut. You explain
to women why no manicure.
<RvLeshrac> <China> We own you like Hong Kong.
#469064 [ + | - ] 2131
Anonymous-san: okay so there's these two strings, right
Anonymous-san: They walk into a bar
Anonymous-san: The first string says
Anonymous-san: Hello, I'd like a rum and
cokerhe7954454gh2kjn.,.43>>[][]21?24
Anonymous-san: The second string says
Anonymous-san: You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not
null-terminated
#468705 [ + | - ] 621
<Moltar> jesus says turn the other cheek
<YouAgain> thats why jesus is dead
#467883 [ + | - ] 551
* Amon rocks out to Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
<Amon> this song owns
<r0bz0r> It does
<Amon> ;)
<r0bz0r> I'm surprised michael jackson didn't do a remake
#467640 [ + | - ] 828
<MickXII> Spider-man creator Stan Lee awarded 10 percent of
profits from movies. With 10 percent profit, there must come
10 percent responsibility
#467485 [ + | - ] 921
<|an> ok so whos got some nice anagrams of their name then?
<|an> ian hamilton
<mark-> him into anal
#467252 [ + | - ] 1578
Mandy: The baby's kickin'.
Adam: well kick that little fucker back.
Adam: gotta start early with discipline
#467125 [ + | - ] 1168
pinano: The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to
the
pinano: heat of the meat, as augmented by the thrust of the
bust,
pinano: and inversely so to the mass of the ass, so long as
the
pinano: bore of the whore remains constant.
pinano: God, I love being an engineer.