hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#447513 [ + | - ] 142
<Aryk> i need to make a shirt.... "You're so much sexier when
you just SHUT UP!"
#447426 [ + | - ] 783
<Whiffles> Quit thinking!!
<God> I'm sorry.  *becomes christian*
#447416 [ + | - ] 560
Gamerman2601: (>^_(>O.o)> HOMOSEXUAL KIRBY
Gamerman2601: :D
Gamerman2601: lol
Hachi: XD
Gamerman2601: (>^_(>^_(>O_o) THREESOME!
Hachi: oh god
Gamerman2601: :D
Gamerman2601: (>^-^)> ~~ (>^-^)> ~~ <(;;o_o;;)> ~~ <(^_^<) ~~
<(^_^<) KIRBY BUKKAKE!
Hachi: XD]
#447397 [ + | - ] 436
<@ping> my ex was Mennonite
<@ping> well, is
<Xolution> What the hell does being from Minnesota have to do
with anything?
<@ping> are you really that stupid?
#447374 [ + | - ] 1071
<Jay 2 da K> no ill probably just get it for christmas
<cyberkk21> hah you jesus boy
<Jay 2 da K> what are you getting for ramadan, besides hungry
#447304 [ + | - ] 772
David> Mexicans are some hardworking motherfuckers.
David> This area LOVES mexicans.
David> Because of all the farms and such around here.
David> Particularly the mushroom farms.
David> It's hard to find workers for such places
David> But those fuckers could put together a house in a few
hours if they'd never picked up a hammer before
David> As opposed to white people
David> Who would think about it for a few seconds
David> Then call the contractor
David> Who would assign a foreman
David> Who would hire mexicans to do it
#447278 [ + | - ] 875
<[UCR]FYZZIX> CAPS LOCK: ITS LIKE THE CRUISE CONTROL FOR
AWESOME
#447245 [ + | - ] 287
<ik0n:#2600> It doesn't take much more then a bored college
student, and an ounce of pot to spawn a new warez network.
#447190 [ + | - ] 1175
<f|ywork> 1 of our students has got himself in a spot of
bother. He booked out a dv cam and a firewire hard drive from
the helpdesk, then videoed some chick giving him head and
forgot to delete it from the hd when he returned it
<TBBwork> do u have a copy of this video?
<f|ywork> it's rendering in premiere as we speak
#447150 [ + | - ] 807
<SupaShaD> i hate it when people invite me to eat dinner at
their house
<SupaShaD> cuz then i have to act all polite and shit
<SupaShaD> when all i really wanna do is eat the food and then
go fuck their daughter
#447149 [ + | - ] 2482
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: how do I end up being a therapist for all my
old gfs
OMGIMJ4KE: comes with the territory
OMGIMJ4KE: same thing happened with mine
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: not that I mind, I love 'em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: collect 'em, trade 'em, show 'em to your
friends
OMGIMJ4KE: gotta catch em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: Wendymon, I choose you! Bipolar attack!
OMGIMJ4KE: "Im happy! Now im sad!"
OMGIMJ4KE: Monster is confused!
#446931 [ + | - ] 2707
<tHiSiSbOb> I just lost a friend... He got into a car
accident... Young people can die too. I just played starcraft
with him the other day....
<black_mage_s> Well, there is always the single player
campaign.
#446884 [ + | - ] 567
<Zeroblitzt> My seat at the Rush concert sucked :(
<TheDarthster> was it at the front?
#446861 [ + | - ] 967
<MikeH> hey nirgle, since youve worked with php and im
guessing have done a bit with sessions, whats the easiest way
to keep track of multiple form entries spaced out among
multiple pages, and then at the end when all is said and done,
write said form entries to a text file ?
<nirgle> hmm, i'll think about it in the shower
<nirgle> brb
--time passes--
<nirgle> i lost my train of thought in the shower
<nirgle> and was thinking about lawn gnomes
<nirgle> sorry
#446814 [ + | - ] 329
<FuRiOuS1> how bout a place where u can post something u need,
like an answer to a question, or something, anything. this
will all be categorized. ppl can post replies
<FuRiOuS1> help eachother
<braindancer> newsgroups?
<braindancer> forums?
<FuRiOuS1> fuck
#446767 [ + | - ] 380
<lou> remember, as long as our balls don't touch it's not GAY
#446742 [ + | - ] -884
<Dee> A man walked along and saw a ladder going up into the
heavens
<Dee> he climbed up a ladder and saw an ugly woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to
success'
<Dee> the man got freaked out and started climbing the ladder
frantically
<Dee> on the next level, he saw a plain looking woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to
success'
<Dee> seeing a pattern here, the man climbs the ladder again
<Dee> on the next ladder, he saw a really hot woman, very
beautiful and sexy
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to
success'
<Dee> the man is tempted, but thinks, 'If the woman is hot
here, imagine what it would be like in the next level!' and he
climbs the ladder
<Dee> on that level there was this fat ugly hell's angel, with
a fucking long beard, piercings and decorated with tattoos
<Dee> the man screamed "who the fuck are you?!"
<Dee> the hell's angel said "i am cess"
#446714 [ + | - ] 1196
<inertia> i was looking up russian shirts on ebay
<inertia> my lithuanian friend has gotten lots of marxist/
socialist stuff off of there
<inertia> they sell red beach towels with a yellow insignia of
the sickle and hammer for like 20 bucks
<inertia> i might buy one
<Bl1tz> lol
<Bl1tz> that is sweet
<Bl1tz> although painfully ironic
<inertia> how??
<Bl1tz> paying 20$ for a towel that has a symbol of everything
that was wrong with paying 20$ for a towel
#446630 [ + | - ] 379
<Invictus> Which professions are you getting?
<Shadow> huh?
<Invictus> I told you to read the manual. =p
<Shadow> I got drunk instead.
#446593 [ + | - ] 748
<Wafflehaus> Name someone not involved in politics
<@Baldfresh> george bush
#446471 [ + | - ] 295
<The_Fallen> He, two years ago we were at the computer lab and
my friends, a dumbass farmer, wrote in the adress bar : "I
wanna see a website about car, please, thanks alot"
<The_Fallen> Oh, My, Fucking, God.
#446429 [ + | - ] 940
<Gladiator> Jesus christ, my mom is so fucking stupid
<Gladiator> She was complaining to me about how "all the
french stereotype us"
#446427 [ + | - ] 369
<Thanatos> Let me touch your bountiful lips once more ere I
plonge into the emptyness that the world is without your touch
<Musashi> translation: suck me, woman
#446388 [ + | - ] 645
(+teh|irc) infact the smartest thing that came out of her
mouth was my dick
#446305 [ + | - ] 407
<CrazyHarij> But stuff like that messes up your mind.. try
imagining what really is outside the universe and stuff like
that.. or what happened before big bang / the creation, and
before that and before that
<BadHat> yeah, and where the fuck the remote's at
#446297 [ + | - ] 178
<%TTK> How would I start overclocking
<mikeszewil> don't know
<+Fizban30> first
<+Fizban30> open the box
<+Fizban30> make sure its on
<+Fizban30> and stick a knife in random spots
<+Fizban30> when you feel the zap your done
#446273 [ + | - ] 238
<Joghurt^> hell yeah i want some lego porn
#446122 [ + | - ] 455
<MessedRocker> In Hawai'i, the age [of concent] is 14
<Anakha> brb hawaii
#446107 [ + | - ] 381
(Cap`nRoy) I hate salt
(Cap`nRoy) but I am the saltiest of the sea-dogs
(KaLdAiS712) If you were to lick Cap`nRoy, you would die of
salt.
(KaLdAiS712) Also several venerial diseases.
#446104 [ + | - ] 432
<Flatland> turducken should not exist
<Anomaly> Eh?
<Flatland> a duck stuffed inside a chicken stuffed inside a
turkey
<Flatland> the ultimate example of our domination of the
animal kingdom
#446067 [ + | - ] 1392
<MaxPowers87>               (  SUN   )   o   o   o<-Earth
o   ( ) -(-)-  o    o    .
#445639 [ + | - ] 938
<deltabravo> ughh, this beer is terrible.
<deltabravo> it's a bad sign when the beer company isn't
running any sweepstakes, yet all the lids
say 'SORRY' underneath them :<
#445539 [ + | - ] 402
<mattbuck> !pball
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> i would start by kissin you
softly on your lips
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> whilst undoin your shirt
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> then i wud move down your neck
and start kissing your chest
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> all the while i woould be
undoin your belt and your trousers
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> i would then rekease your long
hard throbbin cock from your underware
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> and move my tongue down from
your chest to your waist onto your penix
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> *penis
<mattbuck> not that one AGAIN!
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> then i wud give u the best
head of your life
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> and i will let your
imagination take you from there
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> NOW can i have my ops back?
#445492 [ + | - ] 1417
<redbud> so i was sitting there listening to some ska with
your girlfriend
<redbud> then all of a sudden she started making sexual
advances towards me
<Micah> wait a second
<Micah> nobody listens to ska
#445469 [ + | - ] 354
NipokNek: I can tell it's christmas time cause my p2p programs
are serving more xmas music and less porn. :D
#445447 [ + | - ] 453
<Patrick`> holy crap, I'm 20 on wednesday
<Patrick`> I'd better get pregnant in the next 5 days or I'll
miss out on the best part of being a teen
#445438 [ + | - ] 260
<diegost> omfg lol
<diegost> i tried to change my gmail pass to "boobies" and it
went like...
<diegost> "please use another password, the one you hv just
entered is very used on the internet" ^^
#445431 [ + | - ] 199
<FireCat> Hmm, just wondered if using Windows, IIS, Mysql, and
PHP would be called a WiMP platform :)
<modn> roflmfao
#445396 [ + | - ] 484
[ Stryker  ) OMGZ ASLZ
[ Stryker  ) ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) omg like
[ AnFguy   ) 14/f/naked
[ Stryker  ) omg like
[ Stryker  ) 13/f/OMG
[ Stryker  ) w/ pix ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) pix u say>
[ AnFguy   ) we should do tradsies
[ Stryker  ) omgz you have piz too?!?!
[ Stryker  ) HERE_THEY_ARE_JPG.EXE
#445388 [ + | - ] 665
<F7> nifty
<F7> its nice to have a working laptop again
<F7> now i can be unproductive anywhere
#445381 [ + | - ] 360
<PetrDoubt> By the way, you misspelled "B4s74rd."
<B4s73rd> no way
<PetrDoubt> way
<PetrDoubt> It's easy to spell if you remember it has "74rd"
in it.
#445348 [ + | - ] 989
<Stapler[BTEG]>  When British police conducted a drug raid
during a party at Keith Richards' Redlands estate in 1967,
they found Mick Jagger eating a Mars bar out of Marianne
Faithfull's vagina.
<Stapler[BTEG]> FALSE
<Fortyseven[BTEG]> Who hasn't done that?
<Fortyseven[BTEG]> Oh.
<Tristan> It was a snickers.
<indigoflo> i heard thats how you catch genital hersheys
#445322 [ + | - ] 237
<Auratus> I'm making fun of you because I can
<DeepSeaFishin> Well its thanksgiving
<DeepSeaFishin> and we should be giving thanks to each other
<Auratus> I give thanks for the fact that i can make fun of
you over the internet
#445230 [ + | - ] 396
<CrazyMAC> i wish i liked whiskey
<CrazyMAC> then i could drink it and stop shaving and look
tough
#445227 [ + | - ] 1067
<feste_> I had a traditional thanks giving..invited the
neighbors over for dinner..then killed them and took their
land!!
#445124 [ + | - ] 237
<Ark> whats burnt to a crisp and sits at the top of a
staircase?
<Mattyoo> ???
<leoN> wha?
<Ark> christopher reeves in a house fire
<leoN> dude that is not cool
#444999 [ + | - ] 698
<conVict> omg my older bro is a bastard
<conVict> it's mum's birthday, and he set up a treasure hunt
for her to find her gift
<conVict> she went all aroudn the house. up and down the
stairs
<conVict> finally found the final clue
<maxi> lol
<conVict> it was a picture of goatse
<maxi> ROFL!!!!
<conVict> mum started crying
<conVict> he got banned from the comp for a month
#444998 [ + | - ] 1434
<Phil> i wish my girlfriend was into DDR
<knuck> i wish my girlfriend didnt end in .jpg
#444977 [ + | - ] 444
<@MajorKong> man, it is quiet in here....
<@MajorKong> either you are all asleep in anticipation of
tomorrow's feasting.....
<@MajorKong> or I seriously need to buy stock in kleenex.
#444956 [ + | - ] 665
Julliana`: I live in LA. Girls like to say "I'm not religious
but I'm spiritual." I like to reply "I'm not honest but you're
interesting."