<deltabravo> ughh, this beer is terrible. <deltabravo> it's a bad sign when the beer company isn't running any sweepstakes, yet all the lids say 'SORRY' underneath them :<
<mattbuck> !pball <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> i would start by kissin you softly on your lips <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> whilst undoin your shirt <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> then i wud move down your neck and start kissing your chest <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> all the while i woould be undoin your belt and your trousers <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> i would then rekease your long hard throbbin cock from your underware <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> and move my tongue down from your chest to your waist onto your penix <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> *penis <mattbuck> not that one AGAIN! <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> then i wud give u the best head of your life <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> and i will let your imagination take you from there <mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> NOW can i have my ops back?
<redbud> so i was sitting there listening to some ska with your girlfriend <redbud> then all of a sudden she started making sexual advances towards me <Micah> wait a second <Micah> nobody listens to ska
NipokNek: I can tell it's christmas time cause my p2p programs are serving more xmas music and less porn. :D
<Patrick`> holy crap, I'm 20 on wednesday <Patrick`> I'd better get pregnant in the next 5 days or I'll miss out on the best part of being a teen
<diegost> omfg lol <diegost> i tried to change my gmail pass to "boobies" and it went like... <diegost> "please use another password, the one you hv just entered is very used on the internet" ^^
<FireCat> Hmm, just wondered if using Windows, IIS, Mysql, and PHP would be called a WiMP platform :) <modn> roflmfao
[ Stryker ) OMGZ ASLZ [ Stryker ) ^_^ [ AnFguy ) omg like [ AnFguy ) 14/f/naked [ Stryker ) omg like [ Stryker ) 13/f/OMG [ Stryker ) w/ pix ^_^ [ AnFguy ) pix u say> [ AnFguy ) we should do tradsies [ Stryker ) omgz you have piz too?!?! [ Stryker ) HERE_THEY_ARE_JPG.EXE
<F7> nifty <F7> its nice to have a working laptop again <F7> now i can be unproductive anywhere
<PetrDoubt> By the way, you misspelled "B4s74rd." <B4s73rd> no way <PetrDoubt> way <PetrDoubt> It's easy to spell if you remember it has "74rd" in it.
<Stapler[BTEG]> When British police conducted a drug raid during a party at Keith Richards' Redlands estate in 1967, they found Mick Jagger eating a Mars bar out of Marianne Faithfull's vagina. <Stapler[BTEG]> FALSE <Fortyseven[BTEG]> Who hasn't done that? <Fortyseven[BTEG]> Oh. <Tristan> It was a snickers. <indigoflo> i heard thats how you catch genital hersheys
<Auratus> I'm making fun of you because I can <DeepSeaFishin> Well its thanksgiving <DeepSeaFishin> and we should be giving thanks to each other <Auratus> I give thanks for the fact that i can make fun of you over the internet
<CrazyMAC> i wish i liked whiskey <CrazyMAC> then i could drink it and stop shaving and look tough
<feste_> I had a traditional thanks giving..invited the neighbors over for dinner..then killed them and took their land!!
<Ark> whats burnt to a crisp and sits at the top of a staircase? <Mattyoo> ??? <leoN> wha? <Ark> christopher reeves in a house fire <leoN> dude that is not cool
<conVict> omg my older bro is a bastard <conVict> it's mum's birthday, and he set up a treasure hunt for her to find her gift <conVict> she went all aroudn the house. up and down the stairs <conVict> finally found the final clue <maxi> lol <conVict> it was a picture of goatse <maxi> ROFL!!!! <conVict> mum started crying <conVict> he got banned from the comp for a month
<Phil> i wish my girlfriend was into DDR <knuck> i wish my girlfriend didnt end in .jpg
<@MajorKong> man, it is quiet in here.... <@MajorKong> either you are all asleep in anticipation of tomorrow's feasting..... <@MajorKong> or I seriously need to buy stock in kleenex.
Julliana`: I live in LA. Girls like to say "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual." I like to reply "I'm not honest but you're interesting."
<Colby> Some people are like Slinkys. They don't really do anything, but it's still funny when one of them takes a tumble down the stairs.
Sam Stone: Blade walk into your parents bedroom totally naked and covered in wesson oil and weilding a knife. Scream at the top of your lungs "YOU JUST STAY RIGHT IN THE FUCKING BED OR I'LL CUT IT~!!!!" then grab your man hammer in a death grip in shake it at your mom. Whatever she says next, make a quick downward stab while screaming but don't stab yourself in the penis for real. Then shuffle over to mom and say "Just kidding mom, happy easter!" and walk back to your room
<@Seth> *** How to Create a Religion in 4 easy steps *** <@Seth> Step 1: Create "god", "evil" and "theories" <@Seth> Step 2: Write book (should take about a page) <@Seth> Step 3: Layer on the bullshit (should now be ~1000 pages) <@Seth> Step 4: Publish and wait for the suckers
Muddin: but in criminal law we were talking about the people who have to stick they're hands up peoples ass's and search for drugs Cancel: Well I guess you could just say its a shitty job
<Ninja> What if on the next smash there was online gameplay and for every bodies colors they could have different moves <TestRider> What if a op barged in here and banned your ass? <Ninja> oh really and who are you? <@McFox> Apparently he's a psychic.
< quinn> There are three R's to windows tech support: "Restart, Reboot, Reinstall"
<Cedlind> god damn its snowing outside.. <Amnesia> no it's not <Cedlind> soo.. all this white stuff I got all over me is? <Cedlind> crap.. shouldn't have said that..
<LAWN|batman[sAs]> the department of homeland security is making a mockery of the starfleet alert system.
yancan c o o k: im sry man.. yancan c o o k: if u ever need someone yancan c o o k: u know yancan c o o k: a shoulder to cry on yancan c o o k: or like yancan c o o k: someone to talk to yancan c o o k: then yancan c o o k: go fuck urself yancan c o o k: cuz thats not me
<Justin> I just thought of a great game. <Justin> A bunch of men stand naked in a room, facing a TV <Justin> Gay porn is played. <Justin> IF you get an erection, you're out of the game. <Justin> And the last guy without an erection wins. <Justin> "Last Man not Standing"
Americanyankee: True or False? I have a really big penis... who ever gets the right answer gets 500gil Cookiemonster: False Ziegfried: false Tyechmo: haha looks like your out 1000 gil
ProfessorOhki: oh, ud get a kick out of this ProfessorOhki: cisco guy came to talk to my class ProfessorOhki: (lecture hall) thepieisabomb: ya ProfessorOhki: and he goes "i ask this ever year out of curiosity, who has the most media collected and served?" ProfessorOhki: no one wants to raise hands ProfessorOhki: one guy rasies his hand ProfessorOhki: "how many gigs of media do you have shared?" ProfessorOhki: guy: "about 3.6 terrabytes" ProfessorOhki: i swear the cisco guys heart stopped for a sec
<kai> dwi <pancakguy> dealing with intent? <Nosnam> lol, dealing with intent? <Nosnam> Is it possible to deal without intent? SHIT OFFICER, I ACCIDENTLY SOLD SOME POT
<FriedGold> Gentlemen... welcome to recursion club. The first rule is: you do not talk about recursion club. The next rule is: see first rule.
<Graham> Let's say you have an ax. The kind that you could use, in a pinch, to hack a man's head off... <Graham> And let's say that very situation comes up and for some very solid reasons you behead a man. <Graham> On the follow-through, though, the handle of the ax snaps in half in a spray of splinters. <Graham> So the next day you take it to the ax store down the block and get a new handle, fabricating a story for the guy behind the counter and explaining away the reddish dark stains as barbeque sauce. <Graham> Now, that next spring you find in your garage a creature that looks like a cross-bred badger and anaconda. A badgerconda. <Graham> And so you grab your trusty ax and chop off one of the beast's heads, but in the process the blade of the ax strikes the concrete floor and shatters. <Graham> This means another trip to McMillan & Son's Ax Mart. As soon as you get home with your newly-headed ax, though, you meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded last year. <Graham> He's also got a new head attached and it's wearing that unique expression of "you're the man who killed me last Spring" resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday life. <Graham> You brandish your ax. He takes a long look at the weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he screams, "that's the same ax that slayed me!" <Graham> ...Is he right?
halfbakedbuzzard: ahah, my next door neighbors house is on fire halfbakedbuzzard: brb, gotta get the camera
<Shiggy1> OMG <Shiggy1> Ive just discovered something <Shiggy1> ! <Shiggy1> ! <kFraction> the exclaimation key?
<the_muss> New Game! add the word "anal" to the beginning of car names. Anal Jamboree, Anal Explorer, Anal Pulsar, Anal Prelude, Anal Adventurer, Anal Legacy, Anal Nexus, Anal Swift <pyrophoric> lol, Anal Jazz, Anal Ram, Anal Probe <iuqcaj> Anal Bandit, Anal Forester, Anal Laser, Anal Escort, Anal Sovereign, Anal Beetle, Anal Golf, Anal Samurai <the_muss> Anal Eclipse, Anal Discovery, Anal Wrangler, Anal Ambassador, Anal Vanquish, Anal Vagrant, Anal Diablo <pie> Comedy Gold... Anal Trooper <the_muss> lol <pyrophoric> lmao
JonTG3: ever since i learned internet speak JonTG3: i've wanted to turn in a 600 word paper that consisted of my name, the date, a title and 300 instances of OMG TOASTER
<Navy|Scholar> I suppose you people have heard about the Semantic Web? <east> yes <Brawler> Nevar <east> if you're talking about semantic markup, yes <ignatios> yeah <Hokaloogie> Is that something to do with Jews?
<TIK_> Feck.. my machine just caught fire.. still going tho.. <-- TIK_ has quit (Quit)
I am Jeremiadine: i just left a message on smith's cellphone in binary Sela: Fun. I am Jeremiadine: yeah I am Jeremiadine: the best part is even if he decodes it it's in french I am Jeremiadine: ...i'm bored
<krazy> Have any of you weighed yourselves before and after you shit? <Wanderer> ... Why would we want to know how much our shit weighed? <krazy> Well, it's helped me prove that, despite everyone's claims, I'm not full of shit.
<Raab> How's Half Life 2 treating you? <Ashpolt> I would say like a woman <Ashpolt> but women hate me
notorious phake: everybody gets mistaken for a whale at least once in their life notorious phake: it just happens to her a whole lot more