(@_mara) Wanted: (@_mara) A tall, well-built woman with good (@_mara) reputation, who can cook frogs (@_mara) legs, who appreciates a good fuo- (@_mara) schia garden, classical music, and tal- (@_mara) king without getting too serious. (@_mara) But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5.
* Jadyn wacks Murad with a very large book * Murad dies * Jadyn pokes Murad * Murad pokes Jad back from the bowls of Hell <Jadyn> ack! <Murad> :-D * Jadyn searches Murad's dead body for stolen presents * Murad asks his good friend Lucifer to send out a few demons to get Jad * Falkan asks them for papers * Falkan deports the demons * Murad hides his stolen presents away and sets his evil elf minions to guard them * Jadyn eyes the elf minions * Falkan points out the use of non-union elf labour.
<simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title. <simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room. <simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap <simon-say> The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone... <simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous.
<KainSularei> ah, bash.org <KainSularei> 17037 quotes approved; 13482 quotes copied from the top 100 bash quotes pending; 5 original quotes pending
Trikkz R 4 Kidz: YO Trikkz R 4 Kidz: WASSUP? tetsu2051: presumably not your shift key
<Paul> So anyway, i hit him over the head with a shovel <Paul> and now he's all "Lawsuit" this and "Jailtime" that
Ruben: You know it was a good shit when you come back and your screensaver's on.
<Alvin> so there are four guys in one prison cell. One is a zoophile, one is a sadist, then there's a necrophile and an extremesports athelete. <Alvin> the zoophile says: ahh, if I had a cat here, I'd fuck it till I pass out. <Alvin> the sadist says: ahh, after that I'd torture it until it's dead <Alvin> the necrophile: wow, after that I'D fuck it till I pass out <Alvin> the extremesports guy is sitting in a far corner and very quietly says: mjau
<Matrix_McCloud> by the way, is "legend of lumpy" our final answer <Matrix_McCloud> this is for $100,000 <Matrix_McCloud> you have 2 lifelines <Tenchi147> I would like to use a life line <Tenchi147> I want to call a friend <Matrix_McCloud> you alrady used that one, and all you said was "WASAAAAAAAAP"
<chibo> Found something pretty rad. $5 FBI hat purchased at HOPE. Blew past a cop at 85. Looked over at the cop, he read the hat, saluted, and retargeted someone else with the radar gun. Not too bad for $5. Highly recommended.
<Murielle> this just in from ABC Radio - a man went to defend himself when he heard a noise, stuck a .22 caliber pistol in his shorts.. accidently pulled the hammer back... felt this stinging sensation, and a trickle of blood down his leg.... <Murielle> he had performed a self-orchectomy <Murielle> :-) <Noelle> lol <Charron> hmm, so shooting your testes off "stings"? <Murielle> apparently <StephanieNYC> uhhhh <StephanieNYC> a stinging sensation? <StephanieNYC> this makes for a new definition to the term "numb nuts"
<`Jamesy> i saw this old guy buy doom3 today <`Jamesy> as he's buying it the shop assistant asks him what kinda pc/video card he has <`Jamesy> and he mutters something about 32mb <`Jamesy> and the assistant says it wont run and that he needs a new card with at least 128mb <`Jamesy> and then the twit says <`Jamesy> but it runs doom 2 ok!!!!!!
[Maimed_Perfection] Anything with numbers replacing letters is just fucking stupid. [Sanctum] Yeah [Sanctum] NO ONE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN SPEAK [Sanctum] PLEASE
<Mansion_Maniac> I just realized something <TheEnforcer> ?? <Phone> ?? <Mansion_Maniac> if you renamed "humans" as "Terrans"; "aliens" as "Zerg"; and "Predators" as "Protoss", the new Aliens vs. Predator movie would totally be a movie adaptation of StarCraft.
<+Badger[49]> ...would you pose nude for, like, a billion dollars? o.o <+Nightwish> who wouldnt <+Nightwish> o_o <+Nightwish> then again i'd pose for like 5 cents and a candy
<Devilbunny> when talking to a girl who's a programmer about dating prospects, I said not to worry. <Devilbunny> as a programmer, she'll be exposed to geek boys who may have never seen a girl before, and she can have her pick of the litter <Devilbunny> someone else interjected saying "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
(weaseL) the nurse at the the reception at the doctors is hot (Venge) oh, so that's why they think you have asthma...
<ExplosiveTwinkies> Ok, my sister calls Compuserve to cancel my net(thank god), but unfortunetly, only the account holder (Me) can speak to the operator. But I'm a 'minor' so I can't. <ExplosiveTwinkies> So I can't speak to the operator AT ALL. I can't give my sister the 'authority' to talk, cause I cannot speak to the operator. <ExplosiveTwinkies> Then... suprise suprise, the operator asks for my WIFE.
<Aragorn^> I tried using the old "show me yours and I'll show you mine" trick...maybe I should reverse it...show me yours OR I'll show you mine.
<Reedy> man im lame <Reedy> i was walking around the city tonight <Reedy> looking at the signs and billboards etc <Reedy> street lights, traffic lights <Reedy> and im like "pfft, doom3 has way better lighting than this shit"
<linnie> Whats wrong Duncie? <duncan> not much <duncan> im reading is all <linnie> Oh!!!! okay leave you to it! <duncan> lol <duncan> "I'm living in a country i hate with people i dont care about in a job im depressed about where the only thing that gives me pleasure is practising giving death to others in the most painful way possible" <linnie> LMAO <linnie> where is that from? <linnie> I like that <duncan> ... <duncan> i just made that up <duncan> its MY LIFE
<GvL|OCNoy> hey guys, I'm making a hangman game, I need some 7-10 character words <Boltskee> homosexual <GvL|BBA> cockbite <GvL|Ewout_vB> klootzak <GvL|BBA> metrosexual <GvL|OCNoy> Man, that was stupid to ask in IRC <GvL|Ewout_vB> hemoglobin <Boltskee> lollersexual <GvL|Ewout_vB> pak5gene <GvL|BBA> foreskin <GvL|OCNoy> sigh <GvL|BBA> rectum
<Sebastian> My computer is more than a little confused <Sebastian> My DVD player thinks it's a zip drive . . .
<Kane> I like to play poker with tarot cards...I get a full house and four people die
N47H4N:I just made an awsome discovery!!!!!!! When you mix Blue and Yellow you get a entirely new color! I will call it Blellow!
SlythDra: Thou shalt not rewire the coffee maker to insult the parentage of anyone who uses it.
<Underscore> /part and /quit are sitting on a boat, they weigh a total of 120kg, the moon is at waxing crescent and it is 12 degrees C outside. How much marzipan can a giraffe eat in 10 minutes?
<The_Slog> you know how a sink trap works? <Einer> No. <Einer> I'm a rocket scientist, not a plumber.
NARHDD:My dad once complimented a woman on having a "bun in the oven". NARHDD:It turned out she wasn't pregnant. NARHDD:Whoops.
* Shadowe`shopping has joined #gamesurge <Shadowe`shopping> listen <Shadowe`shopping> word of advice <Shadowe`shopping> NEVER use an electric razor to shave your scrotum <Shadowe`shopping> christ <Br34ch> wtf? <Br34ch> Why? <Br34ch> Elaborate, please <Shadowe`shopping> you have no idea how long it took me to get the bleeding to stop
Miyomei2: I had my portable CD player, and took it in the bathroom with me while I went to pee. Miyomei2: And the second I whipped my penis out, the theme song to 'Rocky' started playing. Miyomei2: I've never felt more manly than in that moment.
<PeterGriffin> He's always playing that awful FFXI game <PeterGriffin> Maybe when Madden 05 is released and he'll play something else I'll go over regularly again, but I can't see myself hanging out if all I get to do is watch him kill crabs <Jakeoff> do MMORPGS even qualify as games? <PeterGriffin> No, they're more like a treadmills that makes you fatter
<Moeancurly> i hate wireless internet <Moeancurly> constant ping tim<eouts Moeancurly> everytime i reach for my water i get disconnected <BakerTime361> where'd Moeancurly go?
*** 10 points awarded to queen_daisy33. 'carb': (1+1+1+2)x2. jesus_onacracker: haha queen_daisy33: woo 10 points queen_daisy33: take that atkins
<Mild> a choose your own adventure hamlet would be nice too <Mild> To be, turn to page 73.
<R3Co][L> i really need to reinstall PS <R3Co][L> fuck knows where ive put my cd * Ghozt is now known as fuck_knows <fuck_knows> it's under the clothes on your floor.
<_tail> i stopped beleiving you a minute ago <Idiot> i'm surprised you believed me at all <_tail> you started tlaking a minute ago
<Timelord> I am heading down to Cingular to go punch a CSR in the face. <Timelord> Later all. <Tuan> haha <TacoWork> chip a tooth for me. <mattsteg_> if you don't get your monthly quota of punches in, they roll over to next month
<sheep--> you are in a race.. and you pass the person who is running second, what position are you now? <exe|> Well... that depends... if you're the right side or not <FuIru> pass as in overtake, or fall behind? <sheep--> overtake <FuIru> then 2nd <sheep--> heh.. my dad caught be off guard and i said first <sheep--> he laughed in my face <FuIru> heh <exe|> haha <sheep--> he also said 'what kind of a programmer are you? hahaha' <sheep--> : <sheep--> i got pwned by my dad
* Uman sets mode: +vvv Mode6Nine ostrich Raptor|Sleep * Quits: ostrich (Quit: ) <Uman> So that's how to get rid of ostrich... <[dZ]Thane> .. * Uman sets mode: +v [dZ]Thane * Uman crosses his fingers
<FLoYD> CHILD: Dad, where did I come from? <FLoYD> DAD: Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!.. Listen........ <FLoYD> Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting with <FLoYD> your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafi. Then, <FLoYD> mom did some downloads from dads memory stick and when dad <FLoYD> was ready to upload, we discovered that there was no firewall. Seeing <FLoYD> that it was a bit too late to cancel, I just carried on doing the upload. <FLoYD> Nine months later, the virus appeared!. <FLoYD> CHILD: Huh?
<[S]Supey|Llama> oogm! britney! toxic! my bro has the best songs!!!!1oneoneone(x, where y=2, and x=y/2)
DaLady Firestorm: hm... nother random question: if you could do one video game character, who would it be DerBrystar522666: now that is a tough cookie DaLady Firestorm: :-P DerBrystar522666: First thought is Max Payne DaLady Firestorm: lol DerBrystar522666: second thought is Justin from Grandia. Or maybe Roman from Armed and Dangerous DerBrystar522666: another thought is the Master Chief DaLady Firestorm: so, I ask which video game character you'd have sex with, and all your choices are men... :-P DerBrystar522666: oh... shit! DerBrystar522666: I read that one completely wrong
(mistersandman) aw pee (mistersandman) they require you to register it on the internet (X_Stickman) well with your 100% perfectly legal copy i'm sure you have no objections (mistersandman) oh of course not i just.. dont have an internet connection
<tomato> So Chris, you blew bubbles as a kid? <Chris> yes tom i did <tomato> Well Chris he just called, he's looking for you