<cheerios> LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT: <cheerios> 1. You Are Different and That's Bad <cheerios> 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating Too Many Vegetables <cheerios> 3. Daddy's New Wife Robert <cheerios> 4. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking <cheerios> 5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her <cheerios> 6. The Little Sissy Who Snitched <cheerios> 7. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption <cheerios> 8. Grandpa Gets a Casket <cheerios> 9. Strangers Have the Best Candy <cheerios> 10. You Were an Accident <cheerios> 11. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games <cheerios> 12. Sometimes Your Nightmares Are Real <cheerios> 13. And Where Would You Like to Be Buried, Li'l Timmy? <cheerios> 14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School <cheerios> 15. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
scykon: nope. no matter what you build with lego, if i build the same with duplo its guranteed to be bigger, and therefore better than yours
<p2p> I was reading some thing this morning about a new condom with a built-in vibrator <shxrobert> oh great the rubber that makes you come as you put the fucker on <p2p> the downside is you have to shove the AA battery up your ass <Gollie> downside?
<neo_alex> my maths teacher who looks like gandalf set us a fucking hard half yearly exam <neo_alex> i was just expecting him to go "YOU SHALL NOT PASS! "
<Shark463> hey, did u see stevie wonders new album? <Chaz> No <Shark463> neither has he.
<ShadowFury-> whats command for new nick name * ChoBo is now known as gaynamehere <Whitehorn> '/nick <gaynamehere> err shit
<FuriousC> my computer is performing more illegal operations than doctor kevorkian
* Kavey starts talking to the internet in binary <Alver> 10110101011111010100101011010111010100 Kavey? :) <gavagai> Alver: watch the language <Kavey> Alver: how dare you... my mother is a saint
<glacial> I love school <glacial> Today our term paper due date's set <glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member. <glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" <glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says: <glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"
<Trivbot> 18. A baby doctor is a _________.? <Smitty> o.0 <Rhodz> fucking fast learner
<Twizzlers> I wanna become a counsler so i can tell rape victims they asked for it.
<Slap_Shot> scooby doo 2 beat passion of the christ in movie theaters <LeafsFan> i bet the pope blamed those meddling kids :P
<dizzy[subnova]> A YO WHERE MAH NIGGAZ AT?! <P_40E> over there <P_40E> take your stuff with you <P_40E> never come back
<GL> when I wake_lan each morning <GL> and the tcpdump beats down on me <natx> only gnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu can set you freeeeeeeeeee <GL> and I know we belong join --input=you --output=me
* Bobber lights up the crack pipe and takes a hit * Bobber passes it to Jesus * Jesus takes a hit <Jesus> Argh, my dad is gonna KILL me
<StreetPsychologist> Wow I just met a chick online who lives about 10 miles from me. <punkpet> and her name is ted <StreetPsychologist> NERD SEX! <punkpet> create some nerdlings <punkpet> when he's born it will be the first and last time he sees female gentalia <StreetPsychologist> Our geographical proximity is making me thing MARRIAGE already. <punkpet> lol <phenobarbital> you might even take a shower today <HellKat> no computer nerds breeding, next you know we'll have children running about with 20 fingers for more efficent keyboard use and an extra arm for cyber sex
Tester Bob> Maybe Scott will get fired if we send really bad things over his company's network Tester Bob> Porn Tester Bob> Fuck Tester Bob> Vagina Abdullah> "Bush/Cheney in '04"
<vidkid7> he told us about some kid who turned in a render of a hunting knife for his project <vidkid7> and when he asked to see the wireframe "you sure?" <vidkid7> "yeah, I need to see it" <vidkid7> "...ok" <vidkid7> and he turned it to wireframe <vidkid7> and had written "I'LL KILL YOU" over and over and over like a thousand times behind the image <vidkid7> @_@
<Rjx> they really need to make formatting a laptop easier, for lazy people like me <Rjx> they could make them like etch-a-sketches <Rjx> you just turn them upside down and shake them <Rjx> and BAM, new install
<rzrblade> Yeah so my therepist told me the other day I had "skeptical realism." <rzrblade> I looked at him like, "what the fuck?" <rzrblade> And he says, "yeah i just made that up."
Pika98765: then stick it in the center and it won't be so ugly :p Amarok: ... Amarok: My father just woke up screaming "Suck my scrotum you cocksucking chink whores."
<Tso-JA> I love food... which is why my 6 pack is covered with a good 2 inches of flub <Targeter> you're not fat you simply have "stealth abs"
<tom_0369> man <tom_0369> im never moving to seatle washington <tom_0369> i flew over it and it was raining and gray as fuck <tom_0369> it was depressing <sammich> when was this? <tom_0369> flight simluator 2004
Belmat: When I was working at the old college, I had the bursar phone me up and say "my internet isn't working" Belmat: So I went down to have a look, and she had IE open, and was typing "internet" in the address bar
<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic. <Sabdo> and it typed out "France" <Sabdo> we were like, wtf?
<grl_05>hi guys <integrating> hey baby, i wish i were your derivative because then i'd be tangent to all your curves <FifthElement> i wish i were your integral because then i'd be the area under all your curves
<Asha`monkey> One time I was watching porn for like twenty minutes. When I was finished, I took off my headphones and found the sound blaring out of my regular speakers as well. <Asha`monkey> My mom told me to turn it down.
<Ikaruwa> if i ever had to fire someone, i would do it scavenger hunt style. you know, give them a piece of paper with a riddle on it... <Ikaruwa> and then when they figure out the riddle, itd point them towards the next piece of paper with a riddle on it... <Ikaruwa> and keep doing that until theyve collected all their things and walked out the door. after which, theyd find a piece of paper under a rock that said "youre fired."
<Geno> Dude... <Geno> I was wearing my All Your Base shirt...and someone pointed out the craziest thing <Geno> "Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb", when read Backwards, is "Bomb the US (united states) Up Set (upset) Somebody"
<mbg> if a paintballgun doesnt kill people, and is thus called a marker <mbg> so is a regular handgun a permanent marker?
<Hiyasu> I just called my manager, and told them I couldn't come in, because I'd just contracted leprosy. <Hiyasu> The odd thing was, for about 10 seconds, she believed me. <SePPach> lol <SePPach> what did she say? <newjersey> "I thought I fired you two weeks ago"
<zN|nJa> I wonder how tough the recruiting for suicide bomber school is <zN|nJa> 'now watch closely because I'm only gonna do this once'
<mcsim02> you know...one day the word pron is actually going to replace the word porn for good...and then in the year 2055 some internet geek is gonna think hes really funny by calling it 'porn' instead of 'pron'...and it will be a horrible horrible cycle
[17:21:17] * Joins: jesus (~jirc@167.206.250202.456309) [17:21:27] * Parts: jesus (~jirc@167.206.250202.456309) <The_Defiance> ... o_O <The_Defiance> So that was the second coming eh <The_Defiance> short lived
<nutkase> i need to schedule an eye exam <nutkase> with a different doctor who wont cuss me out and tell me i need ritalin <hateful> lol, did you jump when he was putting in the drops? <nutkase> no <nutkase> but when he was asking me which one was better number 1 or number 2 i was like how come there numbered and i only get 2 options <nutkase> and then he was telling me to read the lines, and he had the radio on in the background and i was asking him to turn it up cause i liked that song <nutkase> finally he said god damn it can you pay attention so we can get this over with and i responded with sorry i wasnt paying attention <hateful> lol <nutkase> and he proceeded to tell me i needed ritalin
<jeff> if the butterfly effect isn't the best worst movie ever, i don't know what is <Calisa> Rotten Tomatoes has one review listed and it says, "Hitchcock would be proud." <jeff> proud to know he had nothing to do with that film
<@God> keyweed, hah. i hate speaking in public :P < keyweed> God: that explains the past 2000 years.
<FQ|Dawg> ok so i was messing with one of my schools video cameras <FQ|Dawg> and i recorded my dick, and i cant erase it off the tape <FQ|Dawg> what should i do <%CLV> tell them you were doing a study on the effects of amateur porn on modern society
<@spr|efnex> last day of highschool <@spr|efnex> im going to take 2 or 3 viagra, go up to every girl that rejected me, point at my pants and say "LOOK WHAT YOU MISSED, BITCH"
<Timid-> MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP * Shockla has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * rooties-w has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * Mr_Hahn has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * rup\tek has quit IRC (*.net *.split) <wandarah> holy shit. <wandarah> truly your meep is a powerful weapon.
Buffman0250: i went to sam's club intending to buy contact lenses Buffman0250: i left with peanuts cookies and slim jims scr0t4r: is it because you couldn't tell the difference Buffman0250: well i didn't have any contacts scr0t4r: hmm i see Buffman0250: youd be surprised how similar they look scr0t4r: have you ever had a slim jim in your eye? Buffman0250: twice scr0t4r: you strike me as that type of person Buffman0250: the second time it wasn't an accident
<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit <foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die <foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?" <foniks`> whatd u think they'd say? <FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"
<BenLMB> i'm waiting for niggabyte hard drives...so i can use it as a slave drive.
(@kaleido) so i start the video clip (@Blaxthos) of that hottie we turned on on webcam the other night? (@kaleido) coworker walks in just as im closing it to send to the machine at home (@kaleido) "if you send it to me i wont say anything"
<[CD]Zinc|o_O> anyone know the name of tupac and biggy's new song ? <[CwO]polarity> "We're Both Still Dead"
<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike <goatboy> what? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> er? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> and? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> ... <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> i dont get it <MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL. <goatboy> bastard
<Fril> "Flight delayed because psychic passenger had vision of a bomb" - turns out the inflight movie was "Gigli"